how to cope with severe mental issues/depression

[Philemon]

Originally Posted by logical

Hi there. are these questions to be answered when i'm in this state or when i was my normal self??

All states are You, dear fellow human. I want You to answer them, if you're willing.

[logical]

Originally Posted by Philemon

What I'd like to see you add here is some of the reverse. What's something your good at? What's something you enjoy doing? Who is someone (or something) in your life you care for or love? What's your favorite food? Where do you (or would you) like to go sight-seeing? Shoot, what's your favorite TV show? Favorite song? Who is someone you admire? Who is someone you once had (or have) a crush on? What's your dream job?

Well

i'm good at computing, good at maths, good at memorising new stuff, i was good at most things really. Good at snooker, video games,

Enjoy watching movies, enjoy listening to music.

favourite food is chicken stake.

i'd like to go to many countries around the world, egypt would be nice to visit.

Favourite site seeing would be lake district, uk

My favourite show was the apprentice

favourite song is probably keith sweat - twisted, like trey songz aswell

I think nicole scherzinger is nice.

I don't really have a dream job in mind. Someone i admire is a close friend who is very intelligent mathematician and calm all the time.

[logical]

Originally Posted by lifetimelearner

no I completely understand
and like I said I am not judging you for taking them
but I just wanted you to know that other things can help

your mind is working overtime -I can tell from your post
you just need to find a method that works for you to be able to stay in the present moment and release all those negative thoughts

your mind has to have some rest ,,,,,,,,have you ever been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD ?

Your definitely right that my mind feels like it's worked too much. Never been diagnosed with ADHD or ADD.

[lifetimelearner]

what part of that post do you want us to look at ?

[logical]

Hi. Sorry i know the next post is a long post but i think most of that post explains the negative aspects i experienced when i was in CBT and how it made me feel worse.

I don't know if the problem was with my thinking and beliefs? But my coping methods that i had built up in the past years were seriously affected. I just feel i'm left in a much bigger mess then i was before.

[logical]

Thanks guys i will look into the suggestions. I've had so many things lift or help clear my mind in the past that just don't work anymore, or because of the anxiety that has been created don't work, therefore my mind starts to believe that it won't work any longer and give up and starts to look for something else.

Most of the anxiety and stuff not working was created from when i started to see my CBT counsellor. He'd say or it's just temporary relief that i was experiencing, or so what if your anxious, stuff like your symptoms lift when you feel better, depression is making you anxious, depression caused your mind to not work aswell as stopping your memory etc. (even though i told him it was clearly i used over used my mind and it burnt out due to the stress of memorising too much in too little time.)

This triggered reactions and anxiety and eventually i ended up with most of the symptoms on the depression/anxiety list that i had dealt with before and not only that worse. Like i could still think quite well when i initially went to him, i was quite hopeful, had a lot of belief that it would work, my memory was working to some degree, things that would work during therapy i'd mention it like if i use my mind to focus on something else it helps, he said don't do that, then guess what it stopped working for me. After he told me that my symptoms were down to depression, which i thought if they were then that would be a big boost that i know that all this that has happened to me was just down to a mood/feeling. But guess what he comments next, just because you know it's depression doesn't mean it will go away. And guess what all that energy and hope i had built up seemed to disappear very quickly. I know it's my own fault for staying but i did put a lot of trust in him and yes maybe it would have worked for someone who was just depressed but when anxiety was a driving force then it became more of a problem. It was not only when i thought to myself enough is enough and started to behave like a depressed person rather than fight it when i began to feel more calm and the symptoms eased. so i told him that when i feel sad i get a sense of relief. He says that is not depression, no exploration as to why i was feeling better, this created a anxious reaction and then i could no longer feel better when i felt sad/relaxed/gave up (i guess the label was not so important as long as it helped) He said if you feel more depressed it will increase your symptoms, make it more difficult to think, use your mind, etc.

His advice, behave normal, go back to work, socialise, go to gym, and your mood will just lift. So he sends me out to work knowing my mind was not functioning too great. Guess what happened it caused very high anxiety and stress because i really struggled to do the work that was asked of me. This left me a lot worse than i was before.

Before, I knew i could do almost anything had i been my normal self. That released any kind of worry of work or anything as i did not see anything as a problem.
So i was more focused on getting my mind back to it's self and dealing with the cause of all this.

Now my beliefs are different, i don't have much hope, can't see a real future for myself, have so many symptoms that i did not have before, most days are a struggle, the headaches i suffer now are unreal, etc.

I think i am far worse now than i was before the therapy started. I kind of lost my faith in this type of therapy where you are almost forced to believe what your therapist believes and to act upon what he says and all my beliefs and what helped me don't matter. I would have preferred to find my own solutions but with a bit of guidance, somebody who sympathised as well as empathised with me. Somebody who said it's ok to feel depressed, low, down, etc. Somebody who gave me ideas and solutions to cope with symptoms.

Not questions like "how do you know if you can do the work if you were normal," "did your parents push you too hard," "maybe your not meant to be able to do the work because my father has no qualifications and therefore too much for me???" (which without doubt i could but i was in a state and it just knocked my confidence down further because it felt as if he did not believe i was capable of doing something that required a lot of mental skill.)

I had many jobs before and i always excelled through the educational system and i got a masters degree without much effort apart from when my mind was screwed in the last year and even then i got surprisingly high marks.


When i had an anxious thought before even when it was very difficult to think i could manage to deal with the anxiety by changing thoughts, or challenging the thought. After the therapist told me that you can't deal with anxiety when you are depressed, triggered a reaction, i found the anxious thoughts grew and i was finding it very difficult to get rid of them.

I wish i was able to stop the therapy a lot earlier now because clearly it was not working for me and was going against my beliefs and what i had experienced and was causing more distress than benefit.

Any suggestions i'd really appreciate them. Even if you think i'm being unfair against the cbt therapist or that my understanding is wrong. Or maybe you could see it from a different perspective?

[RonSouther]

Logical...thanks for sharing more and more..... :-)

The answer is already in your question....the language of your question reflects the answer. That the question reflects the answer indicates that you are "conscious" and that what you are reporting to us about is something you are observing, but is not you.

Your feedback is about different states of the mind and how it makes you feel. It's similar to when you take your car to the mechanic and tell the symptoms. Allow this to show you some distance that exist between your true being and your mind.

Your "mental process" is running rough, sluggish, lethargic, not your true being. If you can see that you're not your mind then you won't identify with it. It won't be your self image. If you can see manifestations of your consciousness and separately see that your mind is not your consciousness, then you can begin to see that your mind is like an invisible body part that is ill and needs healing.

From there you have to see what the mind is....a logical bio-computer with a memory bank. With any computer, if you put junk in, you get junk out such as the computer crashing. Your mind crashed and now you need to find out what software it is trying to run that won't compute smoothly. That software are the social conditioning that automate habits that fight your true physical, mental and spiritual natures. Eliminate those programs by becoming aware of them and your mind can restore itself and your innate joy returns.

Your mind cannot solve your problem. It doesn't have "eyes" to see beyond itself to see that itself own dis-eased thinking is the source.

Your ego doesn't want to think that you are mentally ill, but the truth is that everyone is mentally ill with beliefs. See that your mind is not you and you won't deny that the mind is sick and needs healing. Just like if you broke your arm, you know your identity is not your arm so you go to the doctor and get it fixed. Get your mind fixed but the doctor isnt the one to help. You need the help of someone with a whole mind, not someone with a PhD.

[Philemon]

Originally Posted by logical

Well

i'm good at computing, good at maths, good at memorising new stuff, i was good at most things really. Good at snooker, video games,

Enjoy watching movies, enjoy listening to music.

favourite food is chicken stake.

i'd like to go to many countries around the world, egypt would be nice to visit.

Favourite site seeing would be lake district, uk

My favourite show was the apprentice

favourite song is probably keith sweat - twisted, like trey songz aswell

I think nicole scherzinger is nice.

I don't really have a dream job in mind. Someone i admire is a close friend who is very intelligent mathematician and calm all the time.

Thanks for answering. I asked these questions because I think it might help you to focus on some of these positives. Look how many you could list

By the way, I love that song, too!

Could you spend a little more time with your close friend, the mathematician?

You said, "I was good at most things." What I think you need to realize is that you ARE good at most things. For some reason, you seem to be defeating yourself by referring to your attributes in the past tense. I don't have the knowledge to hypothesize about what those reasons might be, nor do I think it's very relevant.

Maybe some self affirmations would help. Below I'll brainstorm some, but it's important you revise them and adapt them to fit you.

Let me say something about affirmations, first. They are a form of self talk. What we tell ourselves is very important because our selves listen. The language we speak to ourselves each day is making an imprint on our conscious and subconscious mind. Without going into too much detail, I'm basically saying our Self Talk has a big effect.

Affirmations become like prayers, in a way. We say them in the present tense, as though they are already true, so that we engrain the idea in our subconscious, and then we eventually begin to act in accordance with this new belief or truth.

Here are some affirmations I think might fit you:

I am good at whatever tasks I undertake and direct my focus towards.

My mind is clear and my intelligence thrives.

I develop meaningful relationships with good people who are very important to me.

Music and Movies entertain me, provide some release from my stresses, and bring more happiness into my life.

I am someone who brings meaning to the world; my experiences have meaning and I am constantly improving from all of my experiences.

------------------

Repetition is important with affirmations.

I hope this helps.

[Philemon]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

Logical...thanks for sharing more and more..... :-)

The answer is already in your question....the language of your question reflects the answer. That the question reflects the answer indicates that you are "conscious" and that what you are reporting to us about is something you are observing, but is not you.

Your feedback is about different states of the mind and how it makes you feel. It's similar to when you take your car to the mechanic and tell the symptoms. Allow this to show you some distance that exist between your true being and your mind.

Your "mental process" is running rough, sluggish, lethargic, not your true being. If you can see that you're not your mind then you won't identify with it. It won't be your self image. If you can see manifestations of your consciousness and separately see that your mind is not your consciousness, then you can begin to see that your mind is like an invisible body part that is ill and needs healing.

From there you have to see what the mind is....a logical bio-computer with a memory bank. With any computer, if you put junk in, you get junk out such as the computer crashing. Your mind crashed and now you need to find out what software it is trying to run that won't compute smoothly. That software are the social conditioning that automate habits that fight your true physical, mental and spiritual natures. Eliminate those programs by becoming aware of them and your mind can restore itself and your innate joy returns.

Your mind cannot solve your problem. It doesn't have "eyes" to see beyond itself to see that itself own dis-eased thinking is the source.

Your ego doesn't want to think that you are mentally ill, but the truth is that everyone is mentally ill with beliefs. See that your mind is not you and you won't deny that the mind is sick and needs healing. Just like if you broke your arm, you know your identity is not your arm so you go to the doctor and get it fixed. Get your mind fixed but the doctor isnt the one to help. You need the help of someone with a whole mind, not someone with a PhD.

I'm loving everything you have to say in this post! Kudos

[logical]

Thanks very much for the replies. Ronsouther you clearly are an intelligent being. I'm happy to feel depressed and wish i was really sad and low but i don't know what i'm feeling right now. If anything it is hard for me to feel or cry or even describe my emotion. The mental symptoms i'm experiencing are because i feel depressed but i can't feel the sadness or the depression. I know i don't feel happy that's for sure and i just don't enjoy anything i do.

I want to feel depressed and not feel depressed about feeling depressed, but i just can't feel the depressive emotion.

When i do feel emotion i feel relieved but at the same time its as if the anxiety has repressed the sadness emotion because i was told my memory and mind is not meant to feel better. This triggered a reaction in me and then my mind stopped allowing me to feel sadness emotion.

My mind feels completely burnt out. I have taken so much stuff in and kept researching about my symptoms and depression over the years and now i feel more confused than ever because everyone has a different opinion on depression. I don't know who to trust or believe. All i want is my mind to function normal.

I feel really lost. Have no direction. Where do i go from here

You guys are great. I'm sorry if i sound stupid.

[sharshar89]

Originally Posted by Philemon

This is an interesting thread - good advice from the contributors. Logic, I recommend you take a closer look at RonSouther's post regarding beliefs. I found his perspective to be very illuminating and unique (not to suggest that others' posts were any less useful) and then you said this:

"I don't believe i'm at the level where i can figure things out for myself any longer because my mind just won't let me because of all the set backs i've had and it's too depressed."

I think this one idea RonSouther is pointing to. In a lot of ways, our emotional reactions tend to reflect our belief systems. The psychiatrists, doctors who prescribe meds, don't work on this - they treat the symptoms; that's their philosophy. Psychologists, the ones who don't prescribe meds, tend to help a person work toward an understanding of this concept.

Let me tell you a little psychological story I once heard:

A young boy is taken out of an abusive family. He had been starved, beaten, and abused in virtually every terrible way imaginable. Naturally, he formed an internal belief that "this is the way the world is; the world beats me up."

So the boy is taken from that situation and put with a loving family. They shower him with love and well being. They treat him with the respect every human deserves. However, for some reason, the boy starts acting out. At first, it's little stuff - he throws temper tantrums, draws on the walls, etc. The parents sit him down and speak to him, good parenting, but he doesn't respond. He gets worse. Eventually he's trying to set fire to the house. Why?

He still, subconsciously, carries the belief that the world beats him up, and his subconscious needs to affirm that belief. He is subconsciously asking to be punished by his new parents. But they won't do it. They're not affirming his belief, so he keeps acting out. When they ask him why he's doing this, he says "I don't know." And he really doesn't know; it's subconscious.

That's basically how the mind works on a lot of levels. If I BELIEVE, I will perceive. For example, someone who believes in God sees Him everywhere. People who believe in energy fields and auras see them. And it works on even subtler levels than that often. For example, if I think I'm going to have a crappy day, well, it would probably take something as random as winning the lottery to change that outcome.

Like Manasarovar said, and you seem to be realizing, "what you resist, persists." This statement, of course, is very interpretable. The way I see it apply here is that your mental energy is directed toward what you view as your faults or weaknesses, so those are what are continuing to develop.

What I'd like to see you add here is some of the reverse. What's something your good at? What's something you enjoy doing? Who is someone (or something) in your life you care for or love? What's your favorite food? Where do you (or would you) like to go sight-seeing? Shoot, what's your favorite TV show? F
avorite song? Who is someone you admire?
Who is someone you once had (or have) a crush on? What's your dream job?

I know these can be tough questions in certain states of mind, but I'd like to see if you have any response the those questions.

Hi I read the pyschological story and its kinda scary because its similar in me..do you know what the little boy can do to break out from this cycle?

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by logical

Hi. Sorry i know the next post is a long post but i think most of that post explains the negative aspects i experienced when i was in CBT and how it made me feel worse.

I don't know if the problem was with my thinking and beliefs? But my coping methods that i had built up in the past years were seriously affected. I just feel i'm left in a much bigger mess then i was before.

ok so it didn't work for you -that's okay
and BTW you are not stupid

your mind is making you feel bad -it's conditioning or habit or whatever words you use to describe it

but you are not your mind

yes, we need our minds but because of your past experiences you have now built up what Tolle calls a 'pain body'

trust me I know all about this pain body it can be viscous

so what you need is a guide of some sort that can help you let go of this pain body
maybe you can find a therapist that likes Tolle's works
or start with yoga or mediation to help you relax

but you need to do something
be pro -active in your recovery

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Philemon

I'm loving everything you have to say in this post! Kudos

Thanks buddy!

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by logical

Thanks very much for the replies. Ronsouther you clearly are an intelligent being. I'm happy to feel depressed and wish i was really sad and low but i don't know what i'm feeling right now. If anything it is hard for me to feel or cry or even describe my emotion. The mental symptoms i'm experiencing are because i feel depressed but i can't feel the sadness or the depression. I know i don't feel happy that's for sure and i just don't enjoy anything i do.

I want to feel depressed and not feel depressed about feeling depressed, but i just can't feel the depressive emotion.

When i do feel emotion i feel relieved but at the same time its as if the anxiety has repressed the sadness emotion because i was told my memory and mind is not meant to feel better. This triggered a reaction in me and then my mind stopped allowing me to feel sadness emotion.

My mind feels completely burnt out. I have taken so much stuff in and kept researching about my symptoms and depression over the years and now i feel more confused than ever because everyone has a different opinion on depression. I don't know who to trust or believe. All i want is my mind to function normal.

I feel really lost. Have no direction. Where do i go from here

You guys are great. I'm sorry if i sound stupid.

Nnnnooooooo....you don't sound stupid. You sound like a real human being wanting to heal a "broken arm". Search the Explore the Osho Online Library

[logical]

I had to get some thoughts out of my system and also put it somewhere where i could come back to when i need to. So here are them below. Quite long. Sorry.

I was just sick of my mind just thinking non stop so i said to myself if i'm depressed then just feel depressed. I started to feel sad and low and it feels like it has lifted sooo much stress and tension from my mind. Theres still lots there but i'm sure if i keep feeling it, it will heal my mind like it did before.

As i go back i realise the thing that helped me the most was me just trying to feel depressed, sad, low. Even during the CBT i'd go work, feel lots of anxiety and stress because my mind was not functioning, in the car on the way home i would feel really sad and that really helped to heal.

The healing of one day of feeling sad did more for me than the whole of the CBT because i felt i was just fighting my mind to function constantly so i could do the work, do the activities, which created more anxiety and more stress.

If the symptoms do point to depression then i need to accept it and just FEEL depressed, sad and low. Even my behaviour should be that of a depressed person because that will help me to FEEL it more rather then act out that i'm fine. I think the symptoms are indicators for me to feel sad and if i don't and just carry on the indicators will just go up and up until eventually i pay attention to my feelings.

Everyday i feel like i'm fighting my mind to think, to work, to function (subconsciously).

I ain't fighting my mind or the symptoms anymore because it would be me fighting a part of me. So what if i can't think, just feel sad, feel the emotions, feel the grief, feel hopeless, let my mind heal by itself.

Depression/sadness is not the problem it was my solution to the problem. In the same way a person turns to alcohol during tough times, but then make the alcohol a problem when in fact the alcohol was their solution to their problem.

So many people on forums and the internet make depression a problem, something that they have to get rid off straight away.

If other people feel bad, have many symptoms, make it a massive problem when depressed that is their depression and their own attitude to it. It has no bearing on me what so ever.

If i feel heeling when i feel depressed so what? why should i feel guilty about that? If anxiety goes when i feel depressed so what, not everyone is the same. If i can think when i'm depressed so what why should i make that a problem just because it says a symptom of depression is difficulty in thinking.

Just because i'm diagnosed with depression doesn't mean i have to have all the symptoms on the list. Everyones depression is different. Many people don't even know they are clinically depressed yet get on with every day stuff almost like normal. If my mind could function a bit just before i was diagnosed then that doesn't mean i make it stop working because it's a symptom of depression and therefore i have to have it!!

In the past 6 years the one thing that has helped me the most was actually feeling depressed, feeling sad, feeling low so my answer lies in front of me. I know better what i feel and what i have experienced then anyone else. I KNOW feeling sad helps me so much. So that is my solution.

JUST TO FEEL DEPRESSED and not fight the symptoms. To pay more attention to my feelings rather than think and just to feel them. And if i can't then to relax and let them out.

It will pass eventually and everything will be back to normal. Nothing lasts forever. I will be so much better off because when things are not going my way i can just feel depressed, it is a part of me, it's my feelings, my emotions, i should embrace them. And that opens many windows as it makes the world seem unimportant, nothing else matters, just focus on yourself, my mind is allowed to find new solutions.

Just feeling emotion works wonders for me so i need to release all the tension that has been built up inside of me through feelings. Feel the sadness and let my mind heal itself.

comments welcome :-) Do feel a bit better now.

[Philemon]

Originally Posted by sharshar89

Hi I read the pyschological story and its kinda scary because its similar in me..do you know what the little boy can do to break out from this cycle?

The basic idea is that the boy needs to change his belief system. We all are very guided by our beliefs in very powerful ways. They shape the way we interpret, the way we react, the way we feel.

So how do we change our beliefs? Or first, how do we even recognize the beliefs which are engrained deep in our subconscious? Well, my answer is that it can be done. Explaining how takes a bit more detail.

A big part of it is realizing one's own potential. Once you realize you are capable of making virtually any change you want to make, you're no longer a victim of your previous experiences and the limiting beliefs which have formed as a result of experience.

The rest is about changing beliefs. Without going into great depth and science about it, I think affirmations work well at changing beliefs. Self-talk plays a big role.

Hmmm...I'll leave it at that for now. thanks for asking

[samual]

You released last May, and I respond to your depression. I re-read my response to you. I can tell you that six months later, I do much better. In my case, anxiety is certainly causing a lot of memory and thinking difficulties.

[Philemon]

Originally Posted by logical

I had to get some thoughts out of my system and also put it somewhere where i could come back to when i need to. So here are them below. Quite long. Sorry.

I was just sick of my mind just thinking non stop so i said to myself if i'm depressed then just feel depressed. I started to feel sad and low and it feels like it has lifted sooo much stress and tension from my mind. Theres still lots there but i'm sure if i keep feeling it, it will heal my mind like it did before.

As i go back i realise the thing that helped me the most was me just trying to feel depressed, sad, low. Even during the CBT i'd go work, feel lots of anxiety and stress because my mind was not functioning, in the car on the way home i would feel really sad and that really helped to heal.

The healing of one day of feeling sad did more for me than the whole of the CBT because i felt i was just fighting my mind to function constantly so i could do the work, do the activities, which created more anxiety and more stress.

If the symptoms do point to depression then i need to accept it and just FEEL depressed, sad and low. Even my behaviour should be that of a depressed person because that will help me to FEEL it more rather then act out that i'm fine. I think the symptoms are indicators for me to feel sad and if i don't and just carry on the indicators will just go up and up until eventually i pay attention to my feelings.

Everyday i feel like i'm fighting my mind to think, to work, to function (subconsciously).

I ain't fighting my mind or the symptoms anymore because it would be me fighting a part of me. So what if i can't think, just feel sad, feel the emotions, feel the grief, feel hopeless, let my mind heal by itself.

Depression/sadness is not the problem it was my solution to the problem. In the same way a person turns to alcohol during tough times, but then make the alcohol a problem when in fact the alcohol was their solution to their problem.

So many people on forums and the internet make depression a problem, something that they have to get rid off straight away.

If other people feel bad, have many symptoms, make it a massive problem when depressed that is their depression and their own attitude to it. It has no bearing on me what so ever.

If i feel heeling when i feel depressed so what? why should i feel guilty about that? If anxiety goes when i feel depressed so what, not everyone is the same. If i can think when i'm depressed so what why should i make that a problem just because it says a symptom of depression is difficulty in thinking.

Just because i'm diagnosed with depression doesn't mean i have to have all the symptoms on the list. Everyones depression is different. Many people don't even know they are clinically depressed yet get on with every day stuff almost like normal. If my mind could function a bit just before i was diagnosed then that doesn't mean i make it stop working because it's a symptom of depression and therefore i have to have it!!

In the past 6 years the one thing that has helped me the most was actually feeling depressed, feeling sad, feeling low so my answer lies in front of me. I know better what i feel and what i have experienced then anyone else. I KNOW feeling sad helps me so much. So that is my solution.

JUST TO FEEL DEPRESSED and not fight the symptoms. To pay more attention to my feelings rather than think and just to feel them. And if i can't then to relax and let them out.

It will pass eventually and everything will be back to normal. Nothing lasts forever. I will be so much better off because when things are not going my way i can just feel depressed, it is a part of me, it's my feelings, my emotions, i should embrace them. And that opens many windows as it makes the world seem unimportant, nothing else matters, just focus on yourself, my mind is allowed to find new solutions.

Just feeling emotion works wonders for me so i need to release all the tension that has been built up inside of me through feelings. Feel the sadness and let my mind heal itself.

comments welcome :-) Do feel a bit better now.

It was nice to see you look ahead some in this post.

I think you make some good points about embracing emotion.

[Tobes]

Concerning the issue of whether to fight or give into depression, I partly agree with both views. I am an old pro at dealing with depression so I have a lot of experience, and what I have found when I am in the throes of it, that I need to give myself plenty of space and time, BUT, if I get too immersed in it and cut off from that which could lift my spirits, it can dig me into a hole. So, I would ask myself what things 'might' possibly make me feel better and do those. For example, I might not be up to a visit with family or tackling a project, but taking a walk or bike ride in the woods, or just walking around a public place 'might' (and usually does) make me feel better. Go slow but DO GO without trying to run away from it. Experimentation is the key here, and some movement is always good for depression.

Another thing which helps when it gets too much to process, is to become the observer in all that you are feeling or thinking.

[Abha]

Hi Logical,

I answered another poster earlier about how to love oneself and would like to say the same thing to you. I don't know if it will help you, but I certainly hope that it does.

I was once severely depressed and, at times, even suicidal. My healing has been only for several weeks, but what I learned dragged me from the deepest sorrow I've ever felt in my life. And now I feel happy and peaceful most of the time. I get to constantly test it, also, since if I feel anything other than peaceful I can do the process and almost instantly be at peace again.

Good luck to you. The Quote from my previous post is below.

Oh, and one other thing. I hope the words below help you. But if they don't, please don't fret. Your answer will come to you. Just intend it. You may look under rock after rock until you find it. But it will come, none the less... and just in the nick of time. Just keep seeking it until your answer proves it's worth.

Originally Posted by Abha

I am a newly healed depressive so forgive me if what I say comes out a little hokey and simplistic. But I'd like to share with you a scaled down version of what I've learned and what I now practice that has allowed me the greatest peace I've ever experienced.

First, you are not alone. Everyone on the planet is looking for love and acceptance. Every action is to foster that love. The paradox is that love can only be attained in satisfying amounts from the inside. That's why no one ever gets enough love from the outside to feel truly satisfied. Because it's impossible.

All of the love you have ever felt is coming from within you. When you think you're loving one thing and not another you are actually loving yourself in one way and not loving yourself in another.

The good news is that supreme love is your natural state of being. If you could release all resistance to loving, you would have the love you seek, in so much abundance your heart will sing.

The program that showed me how to do this is the release technique originally developed by Lester Levenson. There is a lot of free information about the release technique on the internet and personally I feel that is all you'll ever need. Lester's protege, Larry Crane, has created a boat load of courses but there is much repetition in them. All you need is the basic technique and the desire for freedom. And maybe Lester's story (described all over the internet and on the site) The basic technique is also pretty much described on the site but I will describe it here as best I can.

The premise is that you can not be in two places at once. When you want something you are expressing to the universe that you do not have it. You are operating in a state of lack and therefor miserable. The program teaches you to release all desire (resistance) and past pain (resistance), allowing you to be in a state of having at all times. Then when you will something to happen, only in that state of love without wanting, it is yours with the thought of it.

Releasing resistance is simple. If you hold your chin to your chest it is easier to feel at first. But if you ask yourself something like, "Can I have all the love I ever wanted?", you will experience a clenching in your chest or abdomen; or anywhere in between. That is your subconscious resistance screaming, "NO!!!" This is only energy from a past experience. Either imagine a tube going into that area that allows for the energy to spew out or open a window over the contraction and open that window to allow the energy to pass. This energy isn't good or bad; it's just phenomenon. Just let it pass through. Keep letting it pass through until you can ask yourself the question and receive a, "Yes" when you ask yourself the question, "Can I have all the love I ever wanted?". Then add some acceptance for yourself. Feel love coming from within you, vibrating all throughout your body. When releasing on a situation that involves others, project this love and acceptance toward them and notice how it blossoms even greater in you. Just when you think you feel better than you ever felt, ask yourself, "Could it get any better?" "Could I let go and find out?". Release even the good feelings and find you fall right into bliss.

Sometimes emotionally charged past events will come up. Think about the events connected and let the energy attached to them come up and out. This energy is just phenomenon. You can see it as bubbles or light or steam or whatever. It's not good or bad. Just energy wishing to release. Lester always said that every emotion that comes up wants to come out. So just release it and be free. You'll find you get very blissed out if you do it for any period of time.

Anyhow this is only one way to emotional freedom, I'm sure. But it is my favorite. I have tried a bunch of other stuff; a perpetual student. I am a Hypnotist, NLP Master Practitioner and Reiki Master Practitioner and Releasing is the only thing that has ever had such a profound and lasting effect on my happiness. Even my finances. I keep stumbling upon little money miracles. The other day I tripped into $1200 per year savings that had been coming out of my pocket for no reason for years. Even though no one is getting jobs in my area, I attracted a job paying 2x as much as my last job, even in this economy.

The biggest benefit has been my capacity for love and compassion for others. It is so easy to love everyone as I love myself. Which only makes me love myself even more. And since everyone is looking for love and acceptance. They can easily get it from me, and we are instant friends.

I hope you find all that you are looking for. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or if you need any of the links I spoke about.

With Love,

Abha

[logical]

Hi. Thanks for the advice guys. Thanks abha thats some interesting stuff youve written. Yesterday I felt quite sad. Ive decided im no longer going to be strong and fight against my mind. It only increases my stress and anxiety. Feeling hopeless, feeling down, is actually healing me. Ive realised that ive never really felt properly depressed. anxiety has created most of the problems im facing. Ive never really felt sad about the fact that ive not been the person I wanted to be, ive not excelled at work, I cant even do basic things, I have so many reasons to feel depressed about and im certain that anybody would feel depressed if they were to experience what I have. This shows me that I was trying to be way too strong and this repressed my emotions. Everybody gets depressed once in a while. the more I think other people would feel depressed if they were me the more sad I feel. It feels like my mind is just healing itself as I FEEL and all the built up anxiety and stress is released. Also as my mind gets slightly clearer I can visit the experiences and feel more depressed. Right now now im just happy to feel because when I couldnt it was a very very unpleasant experience.

one thing I remember that repressed a lot of my emotions was when the therapist told me that the more depressed you feel the more symptoms you will have, me thinking that would mean my mind would work even less, triggered a reaction, and thereafter I no longer could feel sad or low. Ive realised my mind was in an anxious state and would just pick on anything and blow it way out of proportion and take the completely wrong meaning. I dont have to feel,more depressed. I,can just feel depressed.

Initially it was the mental burnout and then it was the anxiety that caused my mind to go like this. it was never because I felt depressed. Looking back at what happened clearly shows that. I overloaded my mind by memorising too much. That stressed my mind out. Memory not working as well. Created anxiety as I thought id forgot everything. Went over material again. Created more anxiety. Mind conpletely shuts down. Clearly it wasnt because I felt depressed but because I had a mental burnout and now the fear of that experience and what happened after is still keeping my mind from functioning. I dont believe it was depression. No wonder cbt or anti depressants havent worked for me. But when I feel depressed I get a bit of relief because anxiety goes down and mind functions a little again.

I wish I felt depressed when it first happened rather then trying to be strong and fight it and becoming so many times worse off. Had i felt depressed it would have allowed me to step back and think of a good solution. And there were many potential solutions at that time that i could have taken but rather i took the one of fighting and doing more and more work.

Thanks once again guys. I'll update soon.

[logical]

I'm very angry today. I can't think and it is so frustrating and annoying and stressful to be unable to just think. I hate it so much now. I've had enough. It has made my life hell. It's been on going for about a year now.

I don't know if i can get out of this mess unless my mind will let me think even just a little. What do i do

And why will my mind not allow me to just think?

I've tried ignoring it, kept myself busy, gone out for lots of walks, done exercise, yet nothing seems to work

[lifetimelearner]

Dr. Weil's Spontaneous Happiness | 8 Week Program to a Lifetime of Well-Being

[VincentNew]

I'm too busy acting like I'm not Naive. I've seen it all, I was here first.

[logical]

Hi. Just a quick update.

when i say i can't think i mean i can't even have a thought consciously in my mind. Also my mind's eye is not there. My inner voice is not there. I can't even say anything in my mind. I can't use my imagination. I have hardly any access to my memory i.e. i find it extremely difficult to visualise past events even from 2-3 days ago.

I understand depression can affect the thinking process but i think this is actually causing it to persist because i can't even think in my head "it's just anxiety" and then do something different. (the second i can do)

I don't worry about all this for some odd reason. I just get on with it. If i try to do anything that requires thinking like playing a video game i get a really bad headache and i find myself struggling even more as i try to think harder in order to play at a certain level (obviously not my best with my mind like this)

If i'm on laptop and i'm trying to read too much same thing happens. Basically anything that requires some sort of thinking just causing a big headache.

the reason why this is a problem to me is because i can't tell myself just forget it for example or what's the point, etc it is not having an effect as it is not being processed. I wouldn't mind even if i could think negative thoughts like i'm a failure, i'm weak, etc but i can't even do that. So i feel very very frustrated. I could do it before like 8 months ago this was after i was diagnosed with depression. I'm almost certain the stress from going back to work as advised by my councellor caused this as i was in a situation where i forced myself to think otherwise i wouldn't be able to do the work. So theres me anxious and stressed to my eyeballs, and then he's telling me you can't think when your depressed. So that just topped it. If i can't think then how am i suppose to do the friggin work!! It kind of worked against me. The week before where he was telling me that you can think even though not like normal did me real good and kind. urggggggh what a big mess!

What I would like to know from you guys is can you think in the above sense when you are depressed or were ever clinically depressed. If you could think then it would help me a lot in convincing that it's not depression and will hopefully let the anxiety go (buried somewhere in the subconscious) and allow me to use my mind a bit. Just knowing that should hopefully get rid of the anxiety and help me think to some degree.

p.s just waiting for an appointment to see another psychologist.

Thanks you

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by logical

Hi. Just a quick update.

If you could think then it would help me a lot in convincing that it's not depression and will hopefully let the anxiety go (buried somewhere in the subconscious) and allow me to use my mind a bit. Just knowing that should hopefully get rid of the anxiety and help me think to some degree.

p.s just waiting for an appointment to see another psychologist.

Thanks you

Did you mean "If I could think....?" This reply is in that context....

What do we all think about? What we don't know.

What are the thoughts? Logic.

Is logic true? No, because it doesn't consider the whole of life. If it did consider the whole, then there's no need to think, we would know it all.

Thinking is the problem not the answer.

What you need is sharp perspective but that comes from someone that can see deeper into life than you. So if you're looking for a path out of depression, it won't come from thinking because you only end up wondering why you're depressed and that's depressing in itself.

Go seek someone that can shine a light on your darkness. For me it's Osho, but there are others.

This is kind of a related page on my site... Don't Trust Your Mind, Don't Trust Your Logic - Test It! Profound-Self-Help.com

[Tarin]

Have you tried Brainwave entrainment?? Such as Holosync, by Centerpointe??

I hope this helps?

[Greek Dog]

I have no solution. I could have written your posts.
But the brain controls the mind and when the brain's neurotransmitters are out of whack everything seems out of whack. ADs might help but the mind can help as well. The mind is much slower than medications but fewer side effects.

I like Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz' 4 steps.
He has written about them in several books - the latest in the most detail - You Are Not Your Brain. But there is a short synopsis that can be found by googling Schwartz and 4 steps. He suggests 11weeks. I have been in the process for going on 10 weeks and found some help. Actually what I found was a revelation of trauma that began it all.

I hear the despair in your voice and long to lift it from you. I long to have it lifted from us all. I love what Abha wrote. I believe that the energy level of true love is pure healing.

If longing is lifting, then I lift you up and hold you high until you can hold yourself up.

[CoolStuff]

Thank you RonSouther and Abha, great posts. Everyone else too

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by CoolStuff

Thank you RonSouther and Abha, great posts. Everyone else too

u r welcome!