How to get over being bullied? Feel pathetic

[abcbac]

I saw a high school bully yesterday . He just gave me a condescending and evil smile and all those painful memories came back. I felt hurt and angry. I realized that I am still not over it. I thought I was. I feel pathetic letting something that happened so long ago still make me stress. Its been 5 years How do I get over it permanently?

[hamix]

Realise they had no right to hurt you, but life is not best spent in resentment and hurts.

[OptimistPrime]

Originally Posted by abcbac

I realized that I am still not over it. I thought I was. I feel pathetic letting something that happened so long ago still make me stress. Its been 5 years How do I get over it permanently?

I would suggest sharing your story in this thread. I did, and I feel a lot better for having done so.

[ZephyrusX]

I don't think you are pathetic.

I think people heal from emotional and physical trauma differently and some people are going to take longer to heal than others. This says nothing about who you are as a person. I think this is very applicable if you take into consideration that we can cleverly hide from our traumas unless something in our life forces us to deal with the issue head on.

Lately, I've been getting more people asking me out. I think it has something to do with the fact that I've been more easy going, open and good humoured. I keep refusing the offers though. Partially because I want to spend my free time alone, but also, if I be honest with my self, I'm afraid to go out with people because I think they'll hurt me like I was hurt in the past.

The last group of 'friends' that I legitimately hung out with were pretty awful people. They once tried forcefully stripping me of my clothing. The pathetic thing is that I just went back to being 'friends' with them the next day despite being some-what terrified of them as I thought being alone was even more terrifying. After awhile, I dropped them from my life; being alone was no longer terrifying. But I sort of submerged all these incidents that occurred in my life as I could legitimately not confront them as life circumstances would allow me.

Sooner or later those past hurts will resurface though. The only thing that is important is that you deal with them as they arise and not allow them to ruin your relationships and your potential in life.

[russianrocket]

I bullied a kid in highschool for a few years. I friended him on Facebook a few years ago. I've wanted to send him a message saying I'm sorry, but always thought it would bring up too many memories for him. The whole school bullied him tho....

I don't know if I'd care if I confronted any of my bullies from highschool. Such a long time ago, and they were different people. And I'm mature enough now to understand that they had more issues with themselves, then they did towards me. What you should have done, is said something to the bully when you saw them. Now, you'll just regret it longer.

[abcbac]

ZephyrusX: I do submerge painful memories. You are right about those memories resurfacing . I'll just try to deal with.