Are People Becoming Meaner?

[rawxstasy]

I am a little frustrated right now. It seems to me lately, that people are becoming meaner. Not just in real life but online also. I just read this story about a couple who were married for 76 years and died holding hands. Couple married 72 years die holding hands - Health - Aging - msnbc.com
I happened to read the comments below the story and it is mostly filled with rude comments about the elderly should have their licenses taken away and the other driver has a broken neck and may have her life ruined.

That wasn't the point of the story.

I don't get it. Is life becoming harder so now people feel they can just say any mean thing that comes to their mind? I wonder if because of the economy and life stress that people just take their anger out on stupid things.

Then I see this report about a toddler run over in China (twice) and 18 people pass by and no one helps.
China: Toddler Run Over Twice, Over A Dozen Passersby Ignore Her (GRAPHIC VIDEO)

What is going on?

[SireneB]

Reading comments on any sort of news sites is a real downer. Somehow that brings out the lowest common denominator of humanity or something. I've just stopped reading them.

[NoJobRob]

Originally Posted by SireneB

Reading comments on any sort of news sites is a real downer. Somehow that brings out the lowest common denominator of humanity or something. I've just stopped reading them.

Agreed, and I stopped reading them too. People say some pretty stupid crap online, probably because of the anonymity of the internet, the cowards are then the loudest talkers. I suspect many of them are just trolls, but there are some genuinely idiotic and heartless people out there. Out in the real world however, most people are nice, at least they act nice, who knows how they really are...

[Solluna]

I've been guilty of making comments on "heartwarming" stories that some might perceive as "mean" but I think some people just have issues with those who don't see it their way. There are lots of reasons as to why some comments on stories may sound negative, but I don't think its fair to generalize.

Also, as far as the story about the toddler in China. I've lived in China and from experience I can tell you that one of the reasons that happened was because many Chinese are brought up to believe that if they help someone "in need" they will be accused if they can't get any witnesses. That video was definitely one of the most horrific scenes that are now embedded in my mind.

[elucidate]

I definitely think that the amount of drug and alcohol abuse that goes on contributes to peoples mean sides coming out more often than not, though I don't actually see it happen that often these days.

I have family members who are pretty mean though, and have known some mean people in the past. I suppose it goes hand in hand with the social distortion of "Survival of the fittest" ,meaning you have to be a bigger dog or shark than the guy next to you or you'll get eaten, rather than embracing softness as strength. Plus, yeah, people have problems...they are stressed to the max with financial burdens and holes they have dug for themselves, and they sometimes take it out on whoever happens to be around at the time.

I guess it depends on who you choose to hang out with and where you go. If you get into the world of crime there can be some pretty mean people. I know a guy who believes people are getting meaner from an evolutionary standpoint, but he lives in a big city that is full of rude and obnoxiously loud people.

There are plenty of nice people around, but as nojobrob pointed out, who knows what they are really like behind their social mask. People behave a certain way to fit in and be acceptable to others, so they feel comfortable, but we all have a dark side that can come out when we least expect it, especially if it is repressed.

Humans are a mix of everything, so we can all be mean at times, and have that in us. Some just let it surface more often and don't repress it.

[Curious cat]

Awful tragedy. It brought me to tears and i had to wake up my sleeping toddler for a cuddle just to shake this awful feeling. I don't think i will be sleeping well tonight.

I don't know if people are meaner or not but the people that i have come across in my 32 years are generally nicer than not.

[xiahoudun]

Yeah I'm not so sure. I seem to have noticed the opposite. Perhaps I'm just comfortable around people, though, and draw them out well or something. People, as far as I've experienced, are becoming nicer.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by xiahoudun

Yeah I'm not so sure. I seem to have noticed the opposite. Perhaps I'm just comfortable around people, though, and draw them out well or something. People, as far as I've experienced, are becoming nicer.

I notice it too, but then I think that comes when you are a nice person yourself. You naturally attract more of that into your world and I think there are big changes happening globally and more and more people are realizing the need to wake up and just be decent and honest people. The more you believe that, the more you create it I think.

[rawxstasy]

Originally Posted by elucidate

I notice it too, but then I think that comes when you are a nice person yourself. You naturally attract more of that into your world and I think there are big changes happening globally and more and more people are realizing the need to wake up and just be decent and honest people. The more you believe that, the more you create it I think.

I totally believe that to. As I've gotten older, I feel like people have become nicer to me. I also have more confidence in myself which helps.

It just seems like lately I keep coming across this meanness especially online so that's why I brought it up. I can see how people can feel more likely to be rude online since they aren't face to face with the person.

[hamix]

Meanness is not quantifiable, since morals are subjective and humans hold equal propensity to do good or bad.

[butterflyeffect]

Side note: how beautiful and heart warming is it that they stayed happily in love with each other after 72 years and died holding hands!! To see someone for who they truly are and still want them, that to me is love.

Thank you for sharing, its a beautiful story xx

[OptimistPrime]

Yeah, reading comments sections on news websites is like reading the graffiti under a highway overpass. It's the wrong place to look for the milk of human kindness.

[James81]

Remember, "mean" is something that we each, individually, have a personal meaning for. So, if people are getting meaner that's just a measure on your subjective scale and could also just be a product of what you are choosing to focus on.

A very common human behavior is to assume the world has changed when, in reality, it is us, personally, that has changed and we experience that change as a change in the world. When the world seemingly changes around you, double check your focus.

[C33]

I feel a lot of agressivity out there, not necessarily meanness, but pure animal agressivity of the animal trapped in a cage.

I think people act more and more like rats do in overpopulated cages.

This coupled with the sense of entitlement fostered by the media and helicopter parenting, and you get the London riots and people litterally ready to kill for an Ipad and a chance to show the looted Ipad on Facebook.

I wouldn't qualify these people as mean, as mean suggests a nature. I would qualify them as acting without conscience and possibly without consciousness.

There is certainly the feeling that one's security could be threatened at any time, for the silliest reason. The feeling that you could be stabbed for your Iphone or ran over by someone having a bad day.

The feeling that your death could be filmed and uploaded on youtube.

It's not meanness, it's sociopathic behavior. The same behavior that can be observed in rats living under the same level of stress and in overpopulated cages.

Now, off to watch a video of cute bunnies in a field of daisies...

[hamix]

Another thing is that our modern society is probably the most humane ever. We grant equal social/legal rights to all (most societies have not, and to a large extent do not). We don't enslave people, and we even treat criminals humanely (we don't crucify them as the Romans did, or put them in stocks for days on end as in medieval Europe).

That said, a longstanding (I would personally cite as inherent) trait in our species' being is inhumanity or cruelty. I'm reminded of the recent 9/11 commemoration, and how the media often said it was evil. Well yes, the destruction of the towers was inhumane. But humans will go to any length to satisfy our own interests, so IMO labels such as "good" or "bad" don't exist. it's simply different aspects of our being.

[abcbac]

I know what you mean. I am from a big city and people are always shouting,pushing, and shoving. No one even stops to say hello or even open the door. It kinda makes me angry how rude people can be. I feel though that I am also becoming like that unfortunately.

[rawxstasy]

Originally Posted by James81

Remember, "mean" is something that we each, individually, have a personal meaning for. So, if people are getting meaner that's just a measure on your subjective scale and could also just be a product of what you are choosing to focus on.

A very common human behavior is to assume the world has changed when, in reality, it is us, personally, that has changed and we experience that change as a change in the world. When the world seemingly changes around you, double check your focus.

That is true. I have gone through a lot of changes recently.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by abcbac

I know what you mean. I am from a big city and people are always shouting,pushing, and shoving. No one even stops to say hello or even open the door. It kinda makes me angry how rude people can be. I feel though that I am also becoming like that unfortunately.

The city I live in is very different to this. I see people doing kind things for strangers everywhere, and make eye contact on public transport and walking past people in the street. It's a very civilized city Melbourne. I think more places could take lesson from this place.

I've lived in cities like what you describe, so I appreciate melbourne all the more.

I've only really encountered one or two really rude and angry people here in 7 years, so that's not too bad.

[ZephyrusX]

I don't think people are becoming meaner. I think it might seem that way because we have more access to channels of communication that we wouldn't have had in the past. You can see a lot of... well... very base behaviour on Youtube video comments, but people probably always argued over stuff like, 'Who is the better singer? Justin Bieber or Tori Amos?' I remember reading quotes from as early as 400 BC (Aristotle and some other dude) that basically insinuated that human beings are being meaner and more disrespectful, especially youth. It seems people like the idea that human beings are getting worse in some way. I'm not sure why.

Then I see this report about a toddler run over in China (twice) and 18 people pass by and no one helps.
China: Toddler Run Over Twice, Over A Dozen Passersby Ignore Her (GRAPHIC VIDEO)

I don't think there is anything new about this either. It is a phenomenon well documented in social psychology. It is probably better explained by diffusion of responsibility.

Bystander effect - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Broadsword]

Originally Posted by NoJobRob

Agreed, and I stopped reading them too. People say some pretty stupid crap online, probably because of the anonymity of the internet, the cowards are then the loudest talkers. I suspect many of them are just trolls, but there are some genuinely idiotic and heartless people out there. Out in the real world however, most people are nice, at least they act nice, who knows how they really are...

What Rob said. Everyone can be a anonymous hero over the internet - its a different story doing it in "real llife". As I've got older and more mature i see the good in 99% of people i interact with - there are maybe 4-5 bad apples I can think of and even then I slightly understand why they are the way they are. I dont think people are getting any more meaner or nicer.

[nishu]

well i have to say yes meaner and self centered all they care how they feel and what they feel others opinion is useless.