Stuck and overwhelmed

[redherring]

It seems when I write these things I just continue to hit lows and reach all new lows. I try to improve and see a therapist who works with me on cbt, but I can't seem to target enough strategies with enough intensity to overcome my issues once and for all.

I am 25. living with my parents. unemployed since I was too overwhelmed to manage my last two jobs. While I can be incapable in many ways, I have moments where I see some stability. This is largely shadowed by moments of perceived and actual incompetence and instability. I have sought treatment for my mix of depression and attention issues without result.

I constantly worry and react to situations. This makes me very vulnerable to my environment. When I get stuck in reaction and worrying, I tend to get distracted from what I'm currently doing.

The latest wonderful event of mine was the fact that I totalled my parents car. It wasn't entirely my fault, but I am disgusted with myself that I can't recall the story 110% each time. I was driving 80 mph (I know) in the fastlane on the highway. A red car pulled in from the other lane, essentially cutting me off. At that point, I didn't think strategically. I just tried to stay in the lane, realized I had to swerve, couldn't control the car, and swirled across the highway, slammed and riccoheted from the jersey barrier.

At the moment, this adds up to me being a person that I can't respect. As I've tried to deal with this, I can't really see a way out. I'm not sure how to get treatment that helps. I've thought about an outpatient hospital program. But I don't want to made sicker than I am, I want to try to incorporate normalcy.

[Andrew Brunelle]

Just try to do better one day at a time. Start reading Steve's archives. I was headed down what I would call a bad path before I started reading Steve's blog back in late 2005. I was a thief, and I got kicked out of my college (just like Steve did). I was a complete screw up and I had tons of issues to work through. But I'm much better now. You just need to work on yourself and whatever problems you may have by facing them head-on. Otherwise, they'll haunt you for the rest of your life. Best of luck to you.

[Clint Cora]

You mentioned that you are seeing a therapist. Mention to this person what you wrote here and that you need more help. Tell him/her that you want to make use of all possible resources available to you whether it is one on one with your therapist or group therapy or whatever. Try them all because the more tools you use, the better chances you have in getting over your issues.

Good luck