Suffering from strange problem

[vir_maha]

This is my first post on this forum. I generally use to read all the post here but today i felt that i should post something which is related to my problem.

I am a 25 year old guy and i had faced lots of problems in my teenage due to some problems in my family. Now everthing is fine but i had trapped myself in some serious personality and emotional problems.

From past 5 or 6 years I am having many psychological disorder like afraid of handling situations, afraid of taking responsibilities and afraid of talking to strangers in public.

I keep worrying and worrying 24 hours a day and can't able to sleep well. I also tried many anti anxiety medicines but they have only short time affect.

And I am in very tension that my life will be destroyed if things continue to happen in this manner.

so please help me to get out of this situation.

[persephonevii]

Hello!

Welcome to the forums

Anyway, you said you used anti-anxiety medicines to soothe the problem but they didn't work too well? Did you use counselling in conjunction with that?

Also, I do not think your problem is strange, so you are not alone . A lot of people who suffered badly in their teen years don't always come out right as ray. I know of one person like that and in my experience with her, it did take her a few years to cope and finally let go of her anxieties and fears.

You also said you have worry about your emotional and personality problems 24/7. As you said yourself, it's a not a very happy and healthy way to live. So what exactly are these problems? If you share some more detail, I'm pretty sure we forumers can help you in some way.

[vir_maha]

^^thankx

Well, my main problem is dealing with different situations, i feel extreme anxiety even when i am talking to people. Whenever i try to do something new my mind automatically become crowded with hell of negative thoughts.

Due to this problem i had left many educational courses in middle. I just keep brooding myself.

I can't able to figure out that it is my thoughts which are compelling me to do these kind of things or it is a kind of anxiety illness or some kind of depressive disorder i am suffering from ?

[Sunnybayes]

Hello vir_maha, I can see that you are motivated to improve.

1.) What kinds of personal development books have you read?
I mean, if you have not read anything, then its cool. We could give you advice on what to point you to. What kinds of ideas do you have you come across?

2.) I could off you some advice, but it might sound strange, or too simple to be true, and you might not believe it, and how would I know that you'd try to follow it?

3.) Realize that this is going to take some time to get over. Maybe like a month or 4, but I can see that you are motivated to change this.

4.) Realize that you can control your thought, and once you advance enough, that you can even not have any thoughts at all if you like (at least not verbal ones).

5.) Before I offer some advice, would you be willing to start a progress thread here or in the personal effectiveness forum so that we can see if things are working any better? I've made my own and some other people have posted their own, and we are helping each other to advance and make progress, so I'd encourage you to join us, if you are motivated enough, and it seems like you are.

[carnes]

All these emotional symptoms like stress etc, that you are having can be handled, when you have the knowledge.
Read the following blog, may you never be the same again after you read this
From the Publisher of Dianetics
Carlos

[Sunnybayes]

Originally Posted by carnes

All these emotional symptoms like stress etc, that you are having can be handled, when you have the knowledge.
Read the following blog, may you never be the same again after you read this
From the Publisher of Dianetics
Carlos

Sure... uh huh. He wants to help you *cough* ... I think he's just advertising on this forum as to gather traffic for his blog so that he can sell his book. I don't have a blog. Look at my signature. I'm not trying to advertise a blog or a website, its just a link to a thread that I've posted here on these forums.

He's trying to offer you the quick fix of buying his book. As I give awesome reasons why in this thread... you've got to figure this out on your own. Ok, so perhaps better it would be to buy his book (I have no clue what its about, maybe its a life changing book or maybe a total waste of money...) and also make a progress thread.

Would you rather spend a month reading a blog or buying another book, or would you rather have some personalized advice as you make progress... for free? There are many good willing people here one these forums just wanting to give back.

[vir_maha]

@Sunnybayes

Yeah, I am really motivated and eager to improve.

I have read a good amount of books, you can say hell of books, articles on net but they work only for the moment when i am reading them. When i finished reading and go back to the world..i find myself with same problems.

That's why i came to this forum to get some help but still i am confused that can i get that kind of help. Because people are using these things to make some money or to get some traffic which you said.

I am ready to start the progress thread but i don't know in which way i can make it. I am looking forward for a response.

[TimDineen]

Like the others on here have said, you are ready to take the next step, but being ready and doing it are two different things. It's easy to read an article or a book that motivates you and feel that you are going to make a change, but to really go forward and make that change takes just one thing: courage.
I've been in a very similar situation myself, and i have to say that if you can feel good just in that moment when you are reading a motivational article then you already know the path to take. The next step is stepping up and doing it. No one is forcing you. This is your path and you are the one who gets to choose. Fear isn't something to be afraid of, fear is pointing you in the direction you want to go. Change your reaction to fear and you will change your life.

[Zukin]

Hi vir_maha,

What is your nutritional intake like?

Improving the selection of food I ate helped me overcome some anxiety problems. Why not try these steps and see if they work:
• Increase your intake of fruits and vegetables
• Substitute refined foods with whole grains
• Take a vitamin B6 supplement
• Take fish oil supplements (this step alone made a monumental change in my life)

This page has more details on the impact of nutrition on anxiety.

Also, make sure to go outside every day. A lack of vitamin D can cause depression and anxiety problems.

[vir_maha]

Yes, you are absolutely right TimDineen


@Zukin

My food intake is normal and i don't think that food is playing any role here. My main concern is my irrational thoughts which repels me to do the things i want to do in my life.

I want to change myself totally. I want to be a different person, i want to become the real me. But the dilemma is that i don't know how...?

[TimDineen]

What are your irrational thoughts Vir_Maha?
Who is the person you really are?

Give us a little more and maybe we can help

[InJoy]

I had the exact same "symptoms" you have referred to in this thread, and I overcame them.

First of all, you need to realize that worry is pretty much the worst thing you can do with your mind. It solves nothing and only serves to make you feel worse. Once you come to terms with that fact, the next thing you must realize is that you have a choice whether to worry or not. I know it doesn't seem like that, especially when you are doing it so much, but please believe me. You can stop.

It's a matter of filling your head with ANYTHING other than worry. If you are busy thinking of something besides what you are worried about, you can't spend that time worrying. I found the most effective things to fill my mind with were things that had the potential to make me smile. Funny movies, books, music, websites, etc. Games, fanciful dreams about my future, happy memories, things in my life for which I was grateful. But if all else fails, dust your ceiling, polish your linoleum, iron your underwear, walk in circles, whatever! Do ANYTHING but worry.

This is just a place to start. Once you grasp this idea and start applying it, I'll be happy to help you get more proactive with your thinking in general.

One last thing. You posted this:

Originally Posted by vir_maha

I can't able to figure out that it is my thoughts which are compelling me to do these kind of things or it is a kind of anxiety illness or some kind of depressive disorder i am suffering from ?

Wow, that took me back in time. I asked someone a very similar question and I got a startling answer that changed the way I thought about everything:

The problem is in the question.

The brain is the best computer known to man. When you ask it a question, it will work indefinitely to find the answer.

If you ask it, "What is wrong?" It will mull over possible answers without pause until you ask it another question. That means, by asking that question, you fill your mind with an endless cycle of possible answers to the question of "what is wrong". Those answers, whether accurate or inaccurate, will never be uplifting.

On the other hand, if you ask yourself the question, "What is working in my life right now?" or, "What do I have to be grateful for right now?" or something else along those lines, you put your brain to work in a completely different direction.

Give this a try, and see what happens. Most of all, be patient with yourself. If you are worrying as much as you say you are, you've built up quite a habit. It will take some time and work to change that habit. But probably not nearly so much as you think it will.

[vir_maha]

@InJoy

Yeah, you are right..this has become a habit for me. I find worry in every situation.

@TimDineen

My irrational thoughts goes like this :

Suppose i can't able to talk in social gathering, i automatically start thinking that i am suffering from social anxiety disorder. When my mind is filled with too many thoughts and worry i starts thinking i am suffering from OCD.

But sometime when i sit in my room and think deeply from my heart. My heart sayz that no I am not this kind of guy, I am cool and calm type of guy, who would like to go with people, who want to talk to people and who have a very jolly kind of nature.

But these worries or the circumstances overshadows my real personality.

Now I want to be myself.

[InJoy]

Originally Posted by vir_maha

@InJoy

Yeah, you are right..this has become a habit for me. I find worry in every situation.

That's fantastic news! You can change a habit in thirty days simply by replacing it with a new one.

[TimDineen]

I agree completely with InJoy on this one. Your problem isn't that you are weak, or fearful, or anything like that. Your problem is that you have set up certain reactions within yourself. All you have to do is reprogram your reactions. Change your habits.

Stop identifying with habits that you don't wish to continue. Instead of feeling the way you always feel, feel the way you want to feel. You are a cool, calm, collected individual. Let your actions flow from this awareness. Take off the stress. Don't worry about it, especially if nothing seems to change at first. It takes time to change habits, and you have to give yourself that time. Just relax, be easy, and be willing to risk the change.

For me fear is about control. If you have a habit set up that you don't like, no matter what it is, it does give you one thing - a reaction you can count on. So if you act the same way you always have, then nothing is going to change. It does give you a kind of security, but it is also limiting your experience tremendously. Think of the good that can happen when you step out of your confines.

Take the risk. Be courageous. Because there is no reason not to.

[groove88]

vir_maha it really is going to be a case of getting yourself some postivie affirmations and practicing them..

I wouldn't disclose Zukims advice on fish oil because i myself can credit a massive improvement on my social anxiety by taking this..
It works for me because 60% of my Anxiety is down to Brain Fog

Think about why you are having these fears?

Mine is from bullying at school, late starter, drugs, acne, insecurities from past relationships. I have taught myself long and hard what i want in my life..

Find what you love doing, get some goals, acheive them, exercise hard, play music you love.

From my own experience of this, i think Anxiety is a mixture of body chemisty and negative psycological thought patterns all rolled into one. It is cardinal to check your health. If you feel you have perfect clarity in thinking, and are full of energy, then you need to focus on your mind

Anxiety is a VERY VICIOUS CIRCLE and it doesn't go away over night. My heat goes out to you, i know you can do it. If i can, you can.....

[infinitethoughts]

vir_maha

1. You mentioned anti-anxiety medication. Pharmaceudical drugs affect the organic human body, severely.

2. Zukin is absolutely right. Nutrition. Be aware tho, you'll have to only eat Organics. Again the pesticides on the vegetables affect the organic human system.

3. Get rid of chemicals in the home. Cleaning products, personal care, etc.

4. You'll have to get the residual anti-anxiety drug out of your system. Glyconutrients allow cell to cell communication. It'll quickly remove the excess chemicals. (I've seen it happen personally. The change was amazing.)
These guys are honest, and give fast service.

If the brain is taxed, the 'I' cannot communicate with it.

Oh almost forgot. If you have a cat, the dander taxes the human body also.

[InJoy]

Originally Posted by infinitethoughts

Oh almost forgot. If you have a cat, the dander taxes the human body also.

WHAT??

Why are you dissing on the kitties? Are you an undercover dog person?

If this is true, I'm seriously taxed. Times four!

[vir_maha]

i think Anxiety is a mixture of body chemistry and negative psychological thought patterns all rolled into one

That's what i can't able to figure out...means the thing is what...if you have done all the things to reduce your anxiety or fears but still you can't able to overcome that means your body chemistry is not functioning well.

But really I haven't really put any efforts till now but I want to ask if i fail than what you all suggest...I should consult a psychiatrist but the irony is that i have consulted many psychiatrist before and have taken many antidepressants but they really don't have any serious effect and i really don't want to go for them.

[infinitethoughts]

Originally Posted by vir_maha

But really I haven't really put any efforts till now but I want to ask if i fail than what you all suggest...I should consult a psychiatrist but the irony is that i have consulted many psychiatrist before and have taken many antidepressants but they really don't have any serious effect and i really don't want to go for them.

vir maha

Do what I told you.
If the human brain is full of toxins, it cannot function properly.


EDIT

Originally Posted by InJoy

WHAT??

Why are you dissing on the kitties? Are you an undercover dog person?

If this is true, I'm seriously taxed. Times four!

Sadly dogs are also on the list, just not as bad as the cats.
(Saliva in cats is very powerful, they use it to clean their entire bodies.)

Irritants (chemicals, animal fur in closed areas, etc, etc,) make the body work harder and weaken it.
The equlibrium of the normal tempurature in the human body is vastly reduced, its put extra pressure on the human body.
Everything then is reduced, brain function included.

If one is very healthy (eating foods with absolutely no toxins added) they won't notice it as much.

The oil at the base of the cats hair is very sticky and toxic to humans.
We've been hit with for about a year and just now are figuring it out.

Unfortunately, cat dander stays in the closed area (homes) for years.

[groove88]

Originally Posted by vir_maha

That's what i can't able to figure out...means the thing is what...if you have done all the things to reduce your anxiety or fears but still you can't able to overcome that means your body chemistry is not functioning well.

But really I haven't really put any efforts till now but I want to ask if i fail than what you all suggest...I should consult a psychiatrist but the irony is that i have consulted many psychiatrist before and have taken many antidepressants but they really don't have any serious effect and i really don't want to go for them.

I don;t mean to sound rational Vir, ill try and explain this the best i can but its late. That statement already sounds like your planning a losing battle. Yeh you may be depressed but you need to start sounding a bit more postive in your plan. Stop focusing on failing and going back to square one. It only promotes it.

So what is your diet like? how is your health, a detailed explanation is always good. Have you tried the fish oil, and green tea extract?

There is a whole lot of stuff out there to help you just need to remain postive.

Step back through out the day and ask yourself in a 3rd person sort of way, "how am i feeling?" it will make sense for a moment, and i often readjust to the situation. Its working great.

Have you also tried listening or reading a book called The secret? That could also help

[groove88]

Originally Posted by infinitethoughts

vir maha

Do what I told you.
If the human brain is full of toxins, it cannot function properly.


EDIT


Sadly dogs are also on the list, just not as bad as the cats.
(Saliva in cats is very powerful, they use it to clean their entire bodies.)

Irritants (chemicals, animal fur in closed areas, etc, etc,) make the body work harder and weaken it.
The equlibrium of the normal tempurature in the human body is vastly reduced, its put extra pressure on the human body.
Everything then is reduced, brain function included.

If one is very healthy (eating foods with absolutely no toxins added) they won't notice it as much.

The oil at the base of the cats hair is very sticky and toxic to humans.
We've been hit with for about a year and just now are figuring it out.

Unfortunately, cat dander stays in the closed area (homes) for years.

sound advice infinitethoughts

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

vir,

Have you tried EFT? I teach people EFT and you can download a free beginner's guide to EFT from my website. There's heaps of free information on EFT on the internet and it works.

It's like psychological acupuncture and once you know how to do the basic shortcut process (it takes 10 minutes to learn, 2 minutes to do), you can use it whenever you feel anxious, fearful or whatever. You just consult yourself about how you feel and do EFT on that. You can actually solve lifelong problems with EFT this way. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

And you can continue eating and drinking what you like and pat the cat again! It's far easier than any other suggestions (no offence anyone) here.

Love to you
Hazel

[groove88]

Originally Posted by ReallyGoodIdeas

vir,

Have you tried EFT? I teach people EFT and you can download a free beginner's guide to EFT from my website. There's heaps of free information on EFT on the internet and it works.

It's like psychological acupuncture and once you know how to do the basic shortcut process (it takes 10 minutes to learn, 2 minutes to do), you can use it whenever you feel anxious, fearful or whatever. You just consult yourself about how you feel and do EFT on that. You can actually solve lifelong problems with EFT this way. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

And you can continue eating and drinking what you like and pat the cat again! It's far easier than any other suggestions (no offence anyone) here.

Love to you
Hazel

i might have to give this ago lol. just seems a bit hocus pocus, ill try and beleive, heh

[vir_maha]

That statement already sounds like your planning a losing battle. Yeh you may be depressed but you need to start sounding a bit more postive in your plan. Stop focusing on failing and going back to square one. It only promotes it.

You are right at this point, from the beginning of my school days I always think like this only.

When we had our exams, I used to think like this, could i make it or not..what if i fail....friends are creating some illeffects on me and this create a hell of anxiety that I really could not made it and lastely i got fail.

This has become a vicious circle in my life and i can't able to overcome it.

But now..with the help of u all lovely people, I think i will make it....

[Alchemiss]

EFT is great! Plus I've found you don't have to believe. Just play along and see if it helps.

There are lots of body solutions to what appears to be a mind problem. When you feel anxious, for example, try this: stand up and cross your feet, then cross your hands over each other and turn your clasped hands under your arms up to your chest (this is hard to describe, I wish I had a link), then press your tongue to the roof of your mouth. You'll be amazed at the effect. It is a short term help but can get you through a sticky situation.

Do you know what calm feels like? If so, you can replace the "concept" of calm with the feeeeeeling of calm inside your body. Even if you have to pretend you know what calm feels like, it can work.

I'd highly recommend going for emotional stress defusions is you can afford them. Again, don't worry about believing, just see how you feel afterwards. Here's a description. What we do You can find practitioners there also. They also know EFT.

[infinitethoughts]

Originally Posted by groove88

sound advice infinitethoughts

Thanks Groove.

[JohnPlace]

Anxiety Disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S. with 19.1 million (13.3%) of the adult U.S. population (ages 18-54) affected.

The worry and apprehension that you describe is typical of these illnesses.

I struggled with anxiety for several years before finally getting it under control. Meds did not work for me either -- I tried Paxil. My key to reduced anxiety involved learning to live with imperfection, excercising, and leading a balanced life. Best wishes to you!

[uberinquisitive]

I very much recommend EFT.

I had extreme anxiety, almost suicidal, about 4 months ago due to extreme personal trauma. I slept only about 1 hour each night, and had obsessional thoughts. After the first EFT session (I went to a very experienced practitioner in NY), I was able to sleep a full night. After about 4 sessions, the anxiety went down about 50%.

After about 3 months worth of EFT, I have no anxiety based upon the traumatic event. This is considered pretty miraculous, and everyone is totally amazed at my recovery.

My results were more dramatic because I also took 50mg lithium orotate (natural lithium supplements, you don't need prescription) and fish oil (in the bottle, not pills).

Good luck.