my grandma passed away....

[tgriner]

My grandma passed away in May of this year, after almost 2 months in ICU. I know she is in a better place without pain and everything but it still hurts a lot. I have 2 children a 3 1/2 year old who spent 1 day a week with her, and a 9 month old. the last time my grandma saw him he was 3 months old when she passed he was 5 months. It breaks my heart that my youngest will never know her. it breaks my heart even more when my daughter tells me when were looking at the stars... thats gigi up there...mommy i miss my gigi. it just kills me everytime as i was extremly close to her.
My main problem is i guess i used eating as my tatic to go through this, since may i have gained almost 30 pounds. i cant stop eating. i have tried everything i have no will power to get myself motivated to lose this weight that i have gained. im in a rut that i cant seem to shake. any ideas of what i can try or do?
i dont want to take depression pills.

[cacheborn]

Tgriner, so sorry to hear about your grandma. There is a grieving period that one goes through when one loses the loved ones. The length varies for each person. One way may be to remember that you have to be physically and mentally stable in order to look after your children who are quite young. They need your unconditional love and care.

If possible, a visit to a Councillor or therapist might also help. They don't necessarily give pills, even talking about it helps a lot.

[LibGuide]

Eating is a way of trying to stuff the pain down so that it doesn't hurt so much. I lost my mother nearly two years ago while she dealt with cancer. I was at her bedside when she passed. It took over a year to be able to think about her without crying. It's hard with little ones to feel the pain because you want to be there for them. But, you have to find time time to grieve and cry.