Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Alden · 10-01-2011, 01:26 PM

I have never gotten into a fight before in my life. I have anger issues, but I am not violent. I hate feeling angry because it feels like it eats you up inside.

As for the topic above, I have walked away from so many fights in my life. Sure, they say violence never solves anything, but in the end, it just makes me feel angry. It feels like I let the wrongdoer "win". Sure I didn't fight, but I go home angry and upset.

I got to admit sometimes it bothers me that I have never gotten into a fight before.

What do you guys think?

elucidate · 10-01-2011, 05:10 PM

I'm a woman and I have sometimes wondered whether just getting it out of your system with the person involved and then moving on isn't the best option?

I've experienced the same frustration you seem to be experiencing...and wondered if guys have it right after all. They seem to just have a punch up and get it out of their system, then head on down to the pub and buy each other a beer and forget about it...usually end up good friends after that.

I don't know...but feeling that way for not acting out violently isn't pleasant either.

I don't condone violence by the way, and I have never been in a physical fight before either, but sometimes it seems like it's more of a release for some people than anything serious anyway. Sure, there are better ways to achieve that release, like exercise etc...but it still leaves the person with that feeling you mentioned.

It does sound like you are associating "manliness" with fighting though, which may be from culturally instilled messages you've been fed your whole life?

pianoperformer · 10-01-2011, 05:45 PM

The wrongdoer does not "win." You "lose," however, if you hang on to the anger and hurt. I do not believe that violence is ever the solution, but neither is resentment.

NoJobRob · 10-02-2011, 07:20 AM

I've been in a few, but not in a long while. You know, getting older and maturing, not being a party animal anymore, etc... But I will say that one time when I was really drunk and got into a fight with a friend, it was actually kind of fun. LOL I wasn't happy about it the next day, but while I was in that drunken state of excitement it was kind of fun. That wasn't something that I'm known for and was totally out of character for me, it was a result of being on a multiple day drinking binge with lots of hard liquor and little sleep. I haven't done that in years, just fyi. LOL

Other than that I got in a few fights back in school and it wasn't too big of a deal. You're not missing anything by never having been in a fight. In fact, you're a better person for being humble and pacifistic. Here in Hawaii there's a crap load of huge guys who are into martial arts, MMA, etc, but the vast majority of them are the nicest, and most respectful and polite dudes you could ever meet, at least in my experience. There's some that cause trouble but it's mainly immature high school kids trying to prove something.

Alden · 10-02-2011, 12:20 PM

Thanks for the replies guys.

Yes, for sure I do not want to get into a fight. I don't want to get in trouble with the law and end up in a cell or something.

That's just a one way ticket to ruining my life.

10-01-2011, 01:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
Alden Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 7	What is it like to get into a fight? I have never gotten into a fight before in my life. I have anger issues, but I am not violent. I hate feeling angry because it feels like it eats you up inside. As for the topic above, I have walked away from so many fights in my life. Sure, they say violence never solves anything, but in the end, it just makes me feel angry. It feels like I let the wrongdoer "win". Sure I didn't fight, but I go home angry and upset. I got to admit sometimes it bothers me that I have never gotten into a fight before. What do you guys think?

10-01-2011, 05:10 PM	#2 (permalink)
elucidate Banned Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 12,751	I'm a woman and I have sometimes wondered whether just getting it out of your system with the person involved and then moving on isn't the best option? I've experienced the same frustration you seem to be experiencing...and wondered if guys have it right after all. They seem to just have a punch up and get it out of their system, then head on down to the pub and buy each other a beer and forget about it...usually end up good friends after that. I don't know...but feeling that way for not acting out violently isn't pleasant either. I don't condone violence by the way, and I have never been in a physical fight before either, but sometimes it seems like it's more of a release for some people than anything serious anyway. Sure, there are better ways to achieve that release, like exercise etc...but it still leaves the person with that feeling you mentioned. It does sound like you are associating "manliness" with fighting though, which may be from culturally instilled messages you've been fed your whole life? Last edited by elucidate; 10-01-2011 at 05:25 PM.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Switch to Linear Mode Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
How to fight laziness?	NickWeb	Personal Effectiveness	31	08-07-2011 07:26 PM
Too fat to fight	ar81	World Affairs	17	05-25-2010 05:37 AM
I am here to fight!	rak	Character & Contribution	2	02-14-2010 05:18 AM
Fight between my thoughts	illusion85	Emotional Mastery	9	09-29-2009 11:05 AM
move on or fight for her?	zezen2	Social & Relationships	3	08-16-2009 01:35 PM

10-01-2011, 05:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
pianoperformer Love in Action (Mod) Join Date: May 2008 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,527	The wrongdoer does not "win." You "lose," however, if you hang on to the anger and hurt. I do not believe that violence is ever the solution, but neither is resentment.

10-02-2011, 07:20 AM	#4 (permalink)
NoJobRob Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Hawaii Posts: 629	I've been in a few, but not in a long while. You know, getting older and maturing, not being a party animal anymore, etc... But I will say that one time when I was really drunk and got into a fight with a friend, it was actually kind of fun. LOL I wasn't happy about it the next day, but while I was in that drunken state of excitement it was kind of fun. That wasn't something that I'm known for and was totally out of character for me, it was a result of being on a multiple day drinking binge with lots of hard liquor and little sleep. I haven't done that in years, just fyi. LOL Other than that I got in a few fights back in school and it wasn't too big of a deal. You're not missing anything by never having been in a fight. In fact, you're a better person for being humble and pacifistic. Here in Hawaii there's a crap load of huge guys who are into martial arts, MMA, etc, but the vast majority of them are the nicest, and most respectful and polite dudes you could ever meet, at least in my experience. There's some that cause trouble but it's mainly immature high school kids trying to prove something.

10-02-2011, 12:20 PM	#5 (permalink)
Alden Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 7	Thanks for the replies guys. Yes, for sure I do not want to get into a fight. I don't want to get in trouble with the law and end up in a cell or something. That's just a one way ticket to ruining my life.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums