Finally found why i am so unhappy

[Izak]

Hey everyone. I wont drag this long (I think) and needed some input because i finally found why I am like this.

Im very negative. Still, i find always a way to smile specially to my girlfriend. I dont have a good job nor money, it drags me down yes, but, i think i got dysthymia: Heard it the other day on the radio and i was like: geez this is how i am.

I dont have suicidal thoughts and i work, however, im unhappy. This is how i am:
Feelings of hopelessness
Poor concentration or difficulty making decisions
Low energy or fatigue
Low self-esteem
Irritability[3]

I got 5 of the sympthoms. Its a less severe depression, people with dysthymya doesnt even know they got it cause its not agressive. Anyway was diagnosed with this?

I talked once to my psychologist and she was like: what the h3ll is that?

._.

Dysthymia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[ChrisGinsburg]

Does that really tell you why you're unhappy or have you found yet another label to attach to?

[Izak]

Originally Posted by ChrisGinsburg

Does that really tell you why you're unhappy or have you found yet another label to attach to?

Long time ago I described some events that led me here. Very unfortunate events. Since then, I cant be happy.

[ChildOfNone]

How do you treat it?

I have had severe depression at times and for years decided against anti-depressants and then finally gave them a go. I found that the anti-depressants allowed me to develop a mindframe that helped keep me out of depression permanently.

I have changed my mind about whether the solution has to be a purely mental adjustment. If I am able to alter the state of my brain using my mind then I prefer that but if I cannot then I will use the best means available.

Good luck to you. There is hope to get past what has happened to you to bring you down. And there are many avenues or approaches that you may come across here on this web site. If you are determined and BELIEVE you will get to that better state.

[Izak]

Originally Posted by ChildOfNone

How do you treat it?

I have had severe depression at times and for years decided against anti-depressants and then finally gave them a go. I found that the anti-depressants allowed me to develop a mindframe that helped keep me out of depression permanently.

I have changed my mind about whether the solution has to be a purely mental adjustment. If I am able to alter the state of my brain using my mind then I prefer that but if I cannot then I will use the best means available.

Good luck to you. There is hope to get past what has happened to you to bring you down. And there are many avenues or approaches that you may come across here on this web site. If you are determined and BELIEVE you will get to that better state.

Since my doctor didnt even know what was it, i have no treatment. I had some therapy sessions in group, whick sucked, it was just talk and we love you...yeah, great, my ego doesnt grow up with compliments.

I know about that mind control change, and other names people call, but that doesnt work for me. Sometimes I try to be different on purpose, but it feels like im faking it so much, it makes me feel even worse...

Good luck to you and Im happy it is working to you.

[Merr]

My first response to this post was to smile at the way that you feel about your girlfriend. She's the one that you can always find a smile for. If you feel like you have this condition and don't feel happy with your psychologist's opinion, go and see someone else. For me though, your post reveals something more important than whether or not you have this condition. You have love in your heart. You want your girlfriend to be happy. You want to be happy. You want to live a happy life. You're telling us all of these negative things about you but there's a light to you.

The symptoms you've listed could fit a number of conditions. Have you had any tests?

[Izak]

Originally Posted by Merr

My first response to this post was to smile at the way that you feel about your girlfriend. She's the one that you can always find a smile for. If you feel like you have this condition and don't feel happy with your psychologist's opinion, go and see someone else. For me though, your post reveals something more important than whether or not you have this condition. You have love in your heart. You want your girlfriend to be happy. You want to be happy. You want to live a happy life. You're telling us all of these negative things about you but there's a light to you.

The symptoms you've listed could fit a number of conditions. Have you had any tests?

90% of the time Im with her, i try to be "happy" as possible. She is amazing. But she knows I have some past issues, without details. I got bullied, i overcome it, then my life was good, start dating a girl that almost led to my destruction, left her, and since then i am trying to rebuild my life step by step, but i remember being happy. Now, i dont feel hapiness. I feel empty and hopeless. I want to be happy, everyday. Im not social awkward, i know how to step up and defend myself, I know when\where to make a joke and i want to work, but deep inside, i feel weak. Very weak and vulnerable. No one knows.

Ill try another doctor, those sessions were horrible, good in a small way, horrible in long term.

[dailybitsofwisdom]

When I first went to my physician to discuss my concerns that I might have depression he said I probably had dysthimia, a milder form of depression. He prescribed a small dosage of Prozac that completely changed my outlook on life...for a while.

If you decide to go on medication for this problem realize that any initial euphoria will eventually pass and you'll return to a normal state. You may be happier, but after being on medication for so long you may forget how you felt before you started taking it.

While I still take medication for depression, and more then when I started, I know that these pills will never give me true joy and I hope to get off them some day. Try to find the real reason why your unhappy rather than simply covering up the feeling.

[scotthegeek]

Yes I have dysthymya and I kind of knew I had it for 15years but I was to afraid to go on meds. I thought I'm depress because I have had a hard life but others have had things much worse and are happy. I have been on meds for about 4 months and the first few weeks I felt like there was switch turn on in my brain and I feel a differences.

You have to talk to the right people you can talk all you want to social worker and set goals and intelligently understand your thinking is not helpful. Speaking for myself only at this point in time is dysthymya is real and meds help.

Hugs

Scott

P.S.

I Know meds are a very contentious and I its the view of a lot of people that meds cover up your feeling or numbs you but in my case the lefting of depression is helping me get in touch with my feelings and what I need . My doctor said that new meds or more effective and have less side effects. Everyone response differently and that what makes it so frustrating and confusing. We are going to give you a drug that going to alter you brain and don't know how it works and if you have a bad reaction to it and feel suicidal get your but to the emergency room right away.

[Izak]

Thanks for the responses.

When I went to the doctor I said I didnt want any pills because long term, it wont help. I dont want to feel enthusiastic in the first pills, i want to be cured.

I feel like I have a bad cold and people tell me to go run a marathon. Its the same thing about my brain: i cant be happy if I have some kind of anomaly. I cant run this marathon without being healed.

I need a new doctor. This last one was horrible. The only good thing she said in those group appointments was that she wanted to breastfeed me the first time she saw me... terrible thing to say in front of everyone.

[CroMagna]

"life is managed not cured" -Dr. Phil

I don't know why you're against the pills. They will help you become more emotionally stable so that you're able to talk through your issues with a therapist. Working in tandem, the two should help you reach a state of lasting contentment rather than momentary happiness.

[Izak]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

"life is managed not cured" -Dr. Phil

I don't know why you're against the pills. They will help you become more emotionally stable so that you're able to talk through your issues with a therapist. Working in tandem, the two should help you reach a state of lasting contentment rather than momentary happiness.

Because of the side effects, some pills increase suicidal tendencia. Life is managed, yes, but if I have a problem that I didnt had before, i want it healed. I remember being happy 8 years ago, inspite of all the problems I had, and I had many, I was happy.

[Lauxa]

Emotion follows physiology. When I adopt the postures and facial expressions associated with happiness I begin to feel happy. Is this fake? It depends on whether the desire to be happy or your desire to identify with the present state of unhappiness is of primary importance.

[youssef]

how Can you define the happiness ???,I see it is some thing relativism, acceding to personality, it is extended word

[edvenkman]

depression, even light depression is drawing into yourself, its focusing on the pain of the past, like hypothermia for your mind. the cure for depression is not withdrawing into yourself. i dont know what happened to make you sad but the opposite of sadness is gratitude. find things to be grateful about like breathing, walking, the fact that you HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!! alot of people cant manage that. maybe you should really really really work out because it makes you happier of course the first month is hard but after that your body craves it. thats just me though i could be wrong but i thought id leave my two cents. ive been depressed i had post traumatic stress syndrome from going to iraq, i even tried ripping out my own teeth cause i overdosed on anti psychotic medications, so i think i know a little of what im talking about. your depression seems to mild to be helped by medication that and you know you want to be cured that in itself is alot better than most people who are depressed really really depressed theyre stuck in this pain-regret-shame cycle

[hemahw]

It sounds like you are dissatisfied with your current life situation. Perhaps it is not fulfilling you on a deep level and therefore creating the dysthymia. Perhaps there is a different experience of life that you are wanting deep down.

You could try asking yourself, "What do I appreciate about myself? What qualities do I have that I like? What is it that I know I am capable of being in life?" Then gradually start making the changes in your life. Tell yourself that being negative isn't helping anything. Appreciating yourself and all of your potential is the key to happiness.

[ChrisGinsburg]

Originally Posted by Izak

Long time ago I described some events that led me here. Very unfortunate events. Since then, I cant be happy.

I'm not sure how that answers my question. I have much to say on the subject but I would be interested to know what believing you have this disorder does for you if anything.

[Izak]

Originally Posted by ChrisGinsburg

I'm not sure how that answers my question. I have much to say on the subject but I would be interested to know what believing you have this disorder does for you if anything.

Well, first of all i never talked about this with anyone, except here and the doctor, so im not seeking attention or a label so i can attach.

I try to be happy as much as i can on the outside, but deep inside I know I'm faking it. I have issues trusting people and since im not in a good position financially\career, it drags me down even more.

And third, I remember having problems in high school but i was happy. Now, even the small problems seem huge.

[Affinity]

Try to solve this list of unhappiness. You'll get a new list after you solve this. haha

[ChrisGinsburg]

Originally Posted by Izak

Well, first of all i never talked about this with anyone, except here and the doctor, so im not seeking attention or a label so i can attach.

I try to be happy as much as i can on the outside, but deep inside I know I'm faking it. I have issues trusting people and since im not in a good position financially\career, it drags me down even more.

And third, I remember having problems in high school but i was happy. Now, even the small problems seem huge.

It's not that I think you're seeking attention although that is undoubtedly an intricate part of any thread here. My question, still posed to you is what does believing you have Dysthymia do for you? Is it helping you to overcome what you perceive as a problem or is it solidifying your hopelessness and helping to create a new false identity for you?

The issue of faking it can be attributed to just about everyone. The solution? Stop faking it. You're being dragged down because you're using up enormous amounts of energy resisting your natural state. Who and what you are below all the false identities, psychological labels and fear of the future is peace itself. From this peace everything unfolds. This isn't wishful thinking. This can be clearly noticed if one can simply relax. Instead of identifying with your true nature, you like most others are caught up identifying with problematic, insane thought processes and illusory senses of self that are and always will be unstable.

Happiness could not exist without unhappiness. When you try to "be" happiness you are destined to go mad. You are not a mind or emotional state. You are the one noticing these states come and go. They can not exist in permanence because they are transitory just like everything else you bear witness to. Depression is born of resistance. Resisting what is and wishing things would be somehow different than they are. Refusing to acknowledge and accept the present moment in all its glory. There need not be any names, diagnoses or ideas. The problem if one could look at it in such a way is that you refuse to notice who you really are and continue to suffer for it.

[CroMagna]

What about contentment Chris?

Izak, not all meds cause suicide ideation. Shrinks are paid professional who went through 10 years of med school plus rotations and internships. I'm sure they know what they're doing. I wouldn't mess around with your mental health by asking for advice. Once you're stable you can ask for suggestions about things, but right now I would try to get this under control.

[Artelus]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Shrinks are paid professional who went through 10 years of med school plus rotations and internships.

The shrink I saw pretty much threw prescriptions at me without trying to find out anything important about me other than "I feel bad"

[Izak]

I was kinda relieved to know there was a solution, althought i dont know if I have dhystimia cause, as i mentioned, my doctor was unaware of the illness, so no, lol, i dont believe in doctors who went 10 years of med school and etc. I was once a salesman of a pharmaceutical company and one of the reasons who made me quit was the lack of humanity in the business: its all about sell sell sell and f*** the human being.

I dont persue happiness. As i said, i remember having problems in my life when i was 17, still, i was happy. Its like i cant regenerate my happiness, like its gone. And when something good happens, im always thinking of the worse. I cant fake my emotions, I cant pretend Im ok or happy when im not.

Btw, thanks for all the input.

[Fred Tracy]

Be careful with attaching labels to your identity, especially negative labels.

I used to be convinced I had OCD. For a while I acted like I had OCD. Once I found meditation, and broke that label, the symptoms went away.

[ChrisGinsburg]

Originally Posted by Izak

I dont persue happiness. As i said, i remember having problems in my life when i was 17, still, i was happy. Its like i cant regenerate my happiness, like its gone. And when something good happens, im always thinking of the worse. I cant fake my emotions, I cant pretend Im ok or happy when im not.

Btw, thanks for all the input.

In your first sentence you say you don't pursue happiness. You then go on to say that you've been unsuccessful trying to regenerate "your" happiness. It's nothing to be ashamed of and it's just as common for people as breathing air to try to recapture a previous state of happiness but it is important to notice that you are indeed pursuing happiness otherwise we wouldn't be having this discussion.

One of the most important points I was trying to make earlier was that happiness is not "yours". It is simply appearing before you and then taking its leave just as any thought or emotion does. The more one grasps at anything transitory the more it will slip away from them as you have aptly noticed.

Why do you think it's a problem that you can't fake your emotions? Do you think if you could, this would make things better?

Let your mind think of the worse. Minds tend to do that. Especially when they've been conditioned to do the same thing over and over with the help of you connecting with this fear. The power that you have in this scenario is you have the choice to either connect with these thoughts and give them power or you can simply observe them and notice they are just coming by to say hi and passing through. When they are simply observed, they have absolutely no power and a spaciousness grows within. From that spaciousness the peace that you are becomes ever more present and in focus.

[Izak]

Originally Posted by ChrisGinsburg

In your first sentence you say you don't pursue happiness. You then go on to say that you've been unsuccessful trying to regenerate "your" happiness. It's nothing to be ashamed of and it's just as common for people as breathing air to try to recapture a previous state of happiness but it is important to notice that you are indeed pursuing happiness otherwise we wouldn't be having this discussion.

One of the most important points I was trying to make earlier was that happiness is not "yours". It is simply appearing before you and then taking its leave just as any thought or emotion does. The more one grasps at anything transitory the more it will slip away from them as you have aptly noticed.

Why do you think it's a problem that you can't fake your emotions? Do you think if you could, this would make things better?

Let your mind think of the worse. Minds tend to do that. Especially when they've been conditioned to do the same thing over and over with the help of you connecting with this fear. The power that you have in this scenario is you have the choice to either connect with these thoughts and give them power or you can simply observe them and notice they are just coming by to say hi and passing through. When they are simply observed, they have absolutely no power and a spaciousness grows within. From that spaciousness the peace that you are becomes ever more present and in focus.

Well, I dont pursue it, i want it back, its kinda different. For several days, I tried to fake my emotions. It only made me sadder in my inner side. Im always overthinking stuff. I know it isnt that bad, but it makes somedays harder. For instance, my gf wants to join our families, but i dont want. I dont know, im very social, but i hate to socialize, if that makes sense. I have no problem in talking to people or even big crowds, but i hate to socialize in big groups. But this only happens when im dating, if i am alone, i just go...yeah, im weird.

[ChrisGinsburg]

Originally Posted by Izak

Well, I dont pursue it, i want it back, its kinda different. For several days, I tried to fake my emotions. It only made me sadder in my inner side. Im always overthinking stuff. I know it isnt that bad, but it makes somedays harder. For instance, my gf wants to join our families, but i dont want. I dont know, im very social, but i hate to socialize, if that makes sense. I have no problem in talking to people or even big crowds, but i hate to socialize in big groups. But this only happens when im dating, if i am alone, i just go...yeah, im weird.

Over thinking is an addiction. Look around these forums. Most of the problems ARE in fact due to over thinking and not what most of the people claim. Give yourself permission to simply relax and let things be as they are. No need to fake anything, no need to have any previous state of mind back. Just be here, right now and enjoy the spaciousness that ensues.

[scotthegeek]

Originally Posted by Artelus

The shrink I saw pretty much threw prescriptions at me without trying to find out anything important about me other than "I feel bad"

I'm not trying to push meds but if you been trying self help stuff for years and you feel like your not getting any where meds may not a be cure. There was a part of me that say I would rather die than go on meds I not sure why I was so stubborn.

there is so much black and white thinking I have said to other what if meds cut your anxiety or depression in half. they say no meds I want a cure. The meds have not cure me but I feel more connected to people and starting to make friends and enjoying myself more. I still have very bad day but I have friends now that understand me and support me.

Scott

[stardreamer]

I don't know anyone here very well, but I have to comment on this since it's something I've personally dealt with.

I've been "depressed" for many years. I've been off and on all kinds of wrong medication for it. I had one of those psychs that just puts you on the latest drugs the pharm reps are handing out. It made me very angry to be on medication. I hate having to take pharmaceuticals. Nothing was working and I was still angry/depressed/sad/hopeless.

I found the psychiatrist I have now about 2 years ago when I moved to a different part of the state. I've been through a lot of testing and BS therapy, and have had different diagnoses pinned to me. So when I met him, I asked what his diagnosis was. He said, what does it matter? He was right. If my symptoms are being properly treated and dealt with, it didn't matter what formal diagnosis I had. I wanted that label for so long, for someone tell me they knew what was wrong with me. You already know what's "wrong". Now it's time to discuss it with someone that will help you deal with it.

These days I've been doing a lot better. I am on minimal but very effective medication. Like someone else had posted, the medication didn't weigh me down or cloud my thinking, but rather brought me out of a fog so I could properly deal with life, my emotions and most of all, other people.

[Izak]

I know a few people who took meds for depression, but i will not take them, i dont want short term hapiness. They dont cure whats wrong with my brain cells.

I going to try something different: brain supplements, like ginseng and such. Never tried those. People say amazing things about those. Im willing to try.

Originally Posted by stardreamer

I don't know anyone here very well, but I have to comment on this since it's something I've personally dealt with.

I've been "depressed" for many years. I've been off and on all kinds of wrong medication for it. I had one of those psychs that just puts you on the latest drugs the pharm reps are handing out. It made me very angry to be on medication. I hate having to take pharmaceuticals. Nothing was working and I was still angry/depressed/sad/hopeless.

I found the psychiatrist I have now about 2 years ago when I moved to a different part of the state. I've been through a lot of testing and BS therapy, and have had different diagnoses pinned to me. So when I met him, I asked what his diagnosis was. He said, what does it matter? He was right. If my symptoms are being properly treated and dealt with, it didn't matter what formal diagnosis I had. I wanted that label for so long, for someone tell me they knew what was wrong with me. You already know what's "wrong". Now it's time to discuss it with someone that will help you deal with it.

These days I've been doing a lot better. I am on minimal but very effective medication. Like someone else had posted, the medication didn't weigh me down or cloud my thinking, but rather brought me out of a fog so I could properly deal with life, my emotions and most of all, other people.

Good luck to you . What did you experience when you took those? Happiness? Numbness? Im curious.