IDing emotional obstacles to I/M

[ChildOfNone]

I am working on I/M for a number of things. As I do this I am finding that maintaining the feeling of having the thing, experience, situation that I intend to manifest is more difficult than I had expected.

Being in a state of gratitude even is more difficult than I expected. And letting go of attachment is not surprisingly difficult for me.

I read something very interesting and helpful to me today.
The Shaolin Kung Fu Academy Australia
In describing the origins of personality type a section notes that personality comes from nature and nurture and goes on to say that traumatic events can cause alterations. This rings so true to me and yet most things I have read address personality as though it is set on birth and does not mutate. (If it did not change we would not have to be reminded to be ourselves. We would never hae departed from "our true self.")

I tend to be quite anxious. This is more of a state of being for me for many years now rather than a state that I get into after some event. I know how I got here and why. This is not a state from which I/M brings the things I desire. In fact it brings the things I do NOT desire.

I am finding that being in a state of gratitude takes work. I must be mindful most of the day to return to that state. When I am quiet and not engaged with others or with obligations I am able to maintain gratitude. Once my mind is distracted I tend to fall back into what has been my "norm" of anxiety.

Wouldn't it be nice if knowing that gratitude and non-attachment are the states I want to be in was all it took.

So I am going for a shift in my personality; a shift from high-strung, anxiousness, to peace, gratitude and non-attachment - sort of Dalia Lama like, I imagine.

[Merr]

Something I've been trying recently might work for you. It sounds perverse but it yields some interesting results. Fully embrace the anxiety and exaggerate it. When you make a decision to make yourself feel even more anxious in the moment consciously, it seems so ludicrous that eventually it burns itself out.

[ChildOfNone]

I completely get it Merr.
I've never done that but I do see how that could be just the right tactic.

I, uniwittingly repress it because it feels so wretched. So I get how exaggerating it might do something to unstick it. I'm going to give it a try tonight. it sure is a scary proposition but I am willing to give it a go.

Thanks for the suggestion.

[ChildOfNone]

Merr, I have taken your suggestion to heart and given it a whirl. I am finding that it works (much like the physical stress relief exercise of tensing muscles of the body one at a time beginning with the feet.) BUT the effects are short lived and so I am repeating it over and over and over.

This may just be what is necessary to get through. I do not know. I was throwing that question out to the universe this morning and low and behold when I logged on I saw two post on the "Anxiety Sucks" thread that suggest letting the anxiety be. I find those similar to your suggestion - reinforcing that concept of NOT attempting to overcome it.

How can I ignore three suggestions with similar points?

I am painfully aware that I had unwittingly suppressed this anxiety over the years. I did not mean to do that and know better but the pain of it is so excruciating that I have unintentionally pushed it down where it has festered for some years.

Now I will expose it to the air and light - no matter how extreme the pain.

[Merr]

ChildofNone- I am glad that you have found this idea to be helpful. It never hurts to have some signs out there from the universe of what action you need to take. You said that you know why you got to this state of anxiety but are you certain of this? It seems to me that if you know the reasons, the true reasons for ending up in a semi-permanent state of anxiety, that you could start attacking the thoughts which have helped create this situation.

It is normal to find that anxiety will keep returning at first. It's no different from starting a new exercise regime. You'll feel some immediate benefits but the spare tyre won't disappear straight away. The same thing applies to your anxiety. I believe that there are always temporary quick fixes but these are like crash diets - they help but you'll always go back to your old ways.

What might also be useful for you to is to observe what kind of thoughts go through your mind when you're more anxious than usual and see if there are ways you can 'argue' against them and take away their power over you.

[ButterflyWoman]

Something that always works for me is the combination of intention and surrender. Intend (decide) that you're going to release the mental/emotional blocks and habits of thought and belief that are obstacles. Then, surrender to (accept, allow) whatever comes next, and let the process run its course.

Generally I find that because I intended to see, release, heal, whatever the block or attachment or whatever it is, when things start to happen that highlight that, I recognise what's happening and can allow and surrender until the process has run its course.

You don't even have to know what the specifics are. Just intend to release/dissolve whatever is standing in the way, and sit back and watch (and maybe participate) in the fireworks.

Intend and surrender. Nothing beats it. It always works, and it can be incredibly efficient (particularly if you really do let go and are able to resist struggling or trying to hold on or grasp the situation, etc.).

[Merr]

Something else struck me after I posted here. Although we tend to hide the things we're afraid of, sometimes in moments of anxiety it's useful to briefly examine the things we're terrified of and then put them back in the box. The feelings of terror associated with our worst fears make anxiety seem nothing in comparison and it can help it to fade away.

[ChildOfNone]

Merr - your questions have been helpful. In answering your question I found myself moving from a general concept to honing in on a specific. That specificity helped unlock a puzzle; turn a 3 diminsion into a 2 diminsional chart. thank you.

[ChildOfNone]

Gary Craig writes that EFT is most effective when the issues are specific. I have been tapping many of the multiple fibers of anxiety threads which have been with me since childhood.

Plunging deeper into the I/M process has illuminated some of these fibers that are still at work though I have addressed them before. I have received excellent suggestions about ways to move past.

So I am allowing them to come to the surface. Acknowledging them without resisting. Shining healing light on these wounds underneath the anxiety. Recognizing the emotional attachment to the resolution. (That attachment has given some of these things life in spite of the work I have done on them.) Seeing myself observe the bodily response (material) from a spiritual level. (I think this may be a detachment exercise.)

I continuee to hold my intention to release these anxieties and the source woundings, to (in the words of a Bon exercise) take back my power. I also hold the intention of generating order where therre has been chaos. I intend to open my being to the healing light of Christ and put on the mind of Christ.

In this place of being it is quite easy to step into the "feeling" of accomplished manifestation of my hearts desires.

One of the things I love about EFT is that using the phrase "completely love and accept mself" focuses on the dissonance and that is where the healing comes in for me. that which has been hidden comes to the light. The energy of the light resonates with the spiritual level where the manifestations are complete.

[ramblings from a person on the path]

[ChildOfNone]

This is great.

For the first time in my addult life, since I have recognized that I experience anxiety, I am now ablee to open up to it without the fear of trigggering the wretched feelings.

Opening up to expose the anxiety trigggers to the light is a miraculous experience. There is so much detrius that has been suppressed and festered for so long. There is much to be exposed and healed.

[Merr]

Fantastic. I'm really glad that what CaterpillarWoman and I have said to you has been of some use. At the moment, I'm going through my own journey of overcoming anxiety and other negative emotions. It's a rocky ride and it feels like it won't ever end but I feel like the ride will become smoother.

[ChildOfNone]

Merr, Merr - I am always thankful for your posts, particularly your questions. You hone in like a laser to the very thing I need to attend.

In just a few days time by opening up my anxiety to the light and then having set my intention to healing it something miraculous has happened. When I awoke this morning I found that I have been "tuning" in like a radio to the wrong frequencies.

At one point I wrote that I knew the source of my anxieties and you made a comment about that. The 2 second spiel is that the primary source for me was a condemning father who thrived on sabotage. I lived in fear but it was all couched in terms of "for my own good", character development, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I bought it but unconsciously even as I knew the source I was still tuning in to my father. Still trying to make that connection as I had as a child. Still trying to get it right.

Then suddenly after opening up the anxiety and feeling it at an incredibly wretched level I saw what I was doing and was able to make a switch. I switched to a diffferent frequency. I am tuning into that light now. And it is somehow working. I am just thankful.

[Merr]

Excellent! It sometimes happens that we're so convinced that reason X is causing anxiety or whatever emotion, so we try and address that reason and nothing happens. After a period of time it becomes apparent that actually, it's reason Y and when we address that, amazing things occur. It makes a lot of sense that it's statements like those from your father are what cause your anxiety. Even though it was in the past, it feels like it's in the present because we end up being 'conditioned' to feel that way. I'm glad that you're finding yourself able to switch to a different frequency that works better for you.

[ChildOfNone]

Thanks Merr.
I have putt all these techniques together into the form developed by Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz' 4 steps:

re-lable this is not me but an anxious thought
re-attribute it comes from childhood; it is a rutted brain process
re-focus match with higher energy vibe; the Light of Christ (15 min)
re-value Impartial Spectator (neither good nor bad but thinking makes
it so.)