|Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT|
| ||Thread Tools||Display Modes|
|09-30-2011, 01:56 PM||#31 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2011
Hello, I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I am sure you already know this but the guys' behaviour is really a reflection of them and not you. I suspect that because these negative emotions are so deeply ingrained in you that you involuntarily project this image of unattractiveness and low self esteem, which can make you a target for some people. perhaps you can begin to turn things around and project confidence through body language like walking with your head held high, chest out and make yourself tall. Hopefully with time, experience and practice you can also start to change your perspective of yourself.
In answer to your questions. Firstly, I do not believe anyone is immune to hurtful words and we all care how others perceive us, and to some extent we all crave approval. You are not alone. If this were to happen to me, i would just allow myself to react with what emotions come naturally to me. it is perfectly fine if you just want to cry, there is no shame in feeling the hurt and pain, just realise that this moment will not last forever. i would not suggest denying yourself the pain, rather surrender to the experience, recognise that it is part of life and in time I believe you can learn and grow from it and become stronger for it.
With regards to accepting that you are not attractive vs. Making yourself more attractive, I would say go with what makes you comfortable. if it doesn't feel good to wear heels or makep, it will show . Having said that I believe you can benefit by making an effort to look good for yourself, but stick to what feels comfortable and in turn help you become your authentic, beautiful self
If the approval of men can have such a profound effect on you, it sounds like it could stem from a deep past issue. If you can start to identify what this issue is, it could help you begin to heal and perhaps find peace. i often find alot of my demons can be traced back to my childhood, perhaps you could start there?
What you said about sticking with girlfriends sounds like a good start, however I would expand that and allow room for great guy friends too and double your chances of meeting great people. So I would suggest surrounding yourself with great people (at the very least it would soften the painful blows) and stay open to the idea that there are great guys out there too.
Heartfulcolourful, you sound very powerless right now, and you need to regain that power! What i found works for me when I was in similar situations when I was younger was to channel that energy (adrenalin, whether it is fear based or anger, or both) and use it to 'fight back'. i've had some god awful bully teachers that i challenged when I was young. i was sick of being picked on because I was quiet and the day I decided to have a voice was one of the hardest but most empowering experiences that I have had. it does get easier the more you exercise your assertive muscle. Perhaps next time someone says something hurtful to you, you can call them out for it like another poster suggested, and hopefully it can help you regain some self worth by actively taking your power back.
Hope some of this helps. You are resillient and beautiful, I hope you can see that what we are all seeing here. have a great day!
|09-30-2011, 04:22 PM||#32 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2011
I recently read a quote by Mother Teresa, if I remember right - it was,
"Happiness is better than the best beautician."
When I was a kid, I got called ugly & it really hurt. I ran to the bathroom & cried. I was even mad at my parents for conceiving me.
People (us all!) are very conditional in their love. And their appreciation goes as deep as their awareness & character.
I'd say many of us (maybe partly for survival purposes) make quick judgments on appearances. I've done this... then changed my mind, when I discovered new info. So, I tell my kids, when they don't want to dress nicely, that although I & others love them no matter what they look like, they can present their best selves, because others tend to treat us according to appearances. And although, we should find self-esteem from within, we are human & often can't help but be influenced by others.
So... I'd suggest pick the right hair cut/color, clothes that flatter your figure & appropriate color & amount of makeup.
Then beyond that, take care of yourself (eat well, exercise in fun ways, think positively), get your self-esteem from within, as much as possible.
2 types of self-esteem: 1) unconditional for being alive, 2) depends on how you make the most of what you've got.
If anybody says or does something that makes you think less of yourself, remember that's their perspective at the moment, not yours. Find passions that you lose yourself in... love yourself & others... & that beauty will shine from within.
Last edited by Perspective; 09-30-2011 at 04:25 PM.
|09-30-2011, 07:29 PM||#33 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Berlin, Germany
Do you mean that you aren't supposed to smile while you walk down the street, cross the street or are busy listening to your ipod?
|09-30-2011, 07:35 PM||#34 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2009
|10-05-2011, 12:14 PM||#35 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: The Vatican, The Octagon, London, UK
Thanks very much for the responses. You've given me a lot to think about! This is a little tricky to work on at the moment because I have not had any comments. I am, however, still 'looking' at every guy I pass in the street to see if I am being appreciated. I do also still cross the street if I see a group of boys (of a specific demographic). It's obviously still there deep down but because it's a little more dormant, I don't currently have access to the intense emotions I usually have. It will happen again but right now i'm 'calm'. I don't know how I can 'fix' anything in this state.
curious cat - the childhood comment is true. I did not have that loving male role model in my life. My father's approval was conditional and his attention to me almost non existent.
at my expense. It's true I could use that anger to fight back but my worry is that I will take it too far and it will get physical (on my part).
Affirmations sound like a good idea however my only problem with this is that I don't have much verbal self-talk - it's more that I will recall something that happened or I will imagine something negative and then feel bad.It's images and feelings. How do I turn the words 'I love you' or 'you are valuable' into a feeling?
I'm always tensely 'on the lookout' and in a slight state of fear when people are around.
I'm going to print out this thread and spend a few weeks implementing some ideas. It would be amazing to have a good opinion of myself that I value over another's. Thankyou.
|10-06-2011, 12:49 AM||#36 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2011
.If you were insulted in the street on a semi-regular basis, how would you deal with this? How would you for example, still feel valuable as a person? How do you not go home and cry like a child (which is sadly what I do)?
I don't place value on whether others view me as attractive or not because it doesn't matter. Beauty is SUCH a subjective thing. That being said, it's OKAY to cry and let it out. It's okay to cry until one day you'll reach a point where you just stop crying and you'd see how pointless and useless all of their commentary really is. And when you see that, you'll place more value on how you view yourself and that will transform your world.
You know, I just cried because I have difficulty making friends with people at my university and today in a chat group with my professor, I shared something about myself that got shut down as not grounded in science by the professor the moment I shared it and it HURT. And I cried. And that's okay. I know that at some point I'll develop thicker skin in this area and not take what others say too personally.
.Would you 'accept' that you are generally not attractive or would you try to make yourself 'hot'? I have tried putting make-up on (eyeliner) and heels etc. but it doesn't do much.
I simply accepted myself and focused on the things I did like about myself. Self acceptance leads to change.
.I have had the odd day (not any more) where guys have checked me out. The way I feel when that happens is I feel really valuable, uplifted and worthy but above all I feel 'safe'. I feel that I am 'ok'. How do I feel that way regardless of how much approval I receive?
By telling yourself that you're valuable and ok and safe and worthy regardless of whether others see that or not.
.Do I just only hang around with girls for the rest of my life? Do I shut out guys/the mainstream completely? How?
Just be you. I'll tell you from personal experience that if you're seeking is male validation men WILL pick up on it and those who are creeps will be the ones to approach you. You won't like it.
|10-06-2011, 03:55 AM||#37 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
Years ago, I used to be involved in amateur theatre. I have observed how actors and actresses can be drastically transformed into all kinds of different characters, with the help of the costumes director and the make-up artist.
Most people can be made very beautiful. Or at least quite striking. It's really just skin-deep.
And it's really more about whether you can be bothered. (I generally can't be bothered, but hey, that's just me). There are so many things you can do, some things are more troublesome, some things are really easy. Do whatever works for you.
- Condition your hair.
- Dye your hair.
- Get a new hairstyle.
- Tie your hair differently.
- Grow a beard.
- Grow a moustache.
- DON'T grow a beard / moustache.
- Try a new lipstick colour.
- Experiment with new clothes, very different from what you'd normally wear.
- Lose some weight.
- Grow some muscle.
- Use a facial mask.
- Try some accessories (earrings, bracelets).
- Get some new shoes, different from what you'd normally wear.
- Plastic surgery. Suck out those eye bags.
- Get a sun tan.
- Put on the make-up.
- Change your glasses.
- Do Lasik.
- Fake eyelashes.
- Coloured contact lenses.
- Push-up bra.
- Stand up straight.
When you realise how easy it is to look better, you may well lose interest in looking better.
|10-06-2011, 04:31 AM||#38 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2010
You'er are beautiful, You need to practice fact in your self in order to believe it.
I wish I could find the correct words to make you find truth in you are more than what other people think of you.
Prove to your self you are more then others peoples opinions.
|10-06-2011, 03:31 PM||#40 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: The Vatican, The Octagon, London, UK
I don't like or want men with no insight or sensitivity who refer to hurt women in that way (crying,complaining) so i'm more than happy to bypass them. I have standards.
I am seeking confidence for myself, not to please men. I think perhaps you misunderstood where I was coming from.
|10-08-2011, 08:02 PM||#41 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2006
The way this type of man treat a woman they find ugly and a woman they find beautiful is the exact same way: disrespectfully.
Yes, they'll be nice to a beautiful girl and treat her like a queen until they've paraded her around like a pony on a show.They'll tell her any lie in the book so they can get her into their beds to add a notch to their bed post.
It's better to be the treasure of a few than the trophy of most.
In the end, getting male approval and attention doesn't necessarily mean you will be happy in love or find the right guy.
A man who truly loves you will make you feel beautiful.
If you look at the great seductresses in history, you will see they were not co nventionally beautiful. When you look at Wallis Simpson, who seduced a king and made him abdicate, she was not the pretty young girl, but she did have a lot of personality, a strong character and self belief. Also, the young and pretty Diana did nothing for Prince Charles who was in love with Camilla Parker Bowles.
You probably have heard the line: Show me a beautiful woman and I'll show you a man who's tired of f****** her.
Take good care of yourself and don't let these very ugly men steal your self concept away.
I think that you are very strong and resilient, no matter the tears you shed. You have the strength to rebuild your self esteem on positive foundations.
|10-12-2011, 10:14 AM||#43 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Firstly I'm very sorry to hear this has been your experience. it's brutal and unfair. everyone above says good things that i agree with. i did however read this lovely quote the other day.
"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people...
For poise, walk with the knowledge that
you will never walk alone."
(as quoted by Audrey Hepburn)
Be true to you. Follow your passions. Focus your physical and mental energy on what makes you feel good. Try as much as you can to self-reference (rather than 'other-reference'). Every time you catch yourself replaying the scene in your mind (of whatever the guys might've said) try to replace it with "I love and accept myself exactly as I am". Be kind and gentle with yourself and treat yourself as your own best friend (which you are ... along with all of us ).
|10-12-2011, 11:51 AM||#44 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
I'm not sure if I'm allowed to swear on this forum but... uh... sorry mods....
If this happens again, stop walking, turn around and say:
"♥♥♥♥ you, buddy, I wouldn't touch you with his dick", and point to his useless, sniggering friend as you say it.
The most corrosive single thing I think a person can do is let themselves get spoken to like they are worth nothing and not respond. It's just so corrosive. You let someone say that, and don't say something back? It will just corrode you inside. So, don't do that again.
Choose the short pain. The short pain of the confrontation. Black women are, generally speaking, very good at this, to give you an example.
The short pain is always easier, and easier to deal with, and strengthens you. The long pain, where you suck it up, let it slide, and try to 'make things better' is what sucks you up inside your head and makes you weak, and afraid, all the time.
That was a disgraceful thing that person said, and you need to call them out - not to 'get your own back', but to let yourself know that there are lines you won't let people cross.
And that way, self-respect is not something you have to 'instill' in yourself. It's actually how you genuinely are.
Last edited by brianrorty; 10-12-2011 at 11:53 AM. Reason: I thought of something better to say.
|10-12-2011, 11:58 AM||#45 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
When I have said this to male friends they assure me that it's just that I don't notice them when they are looking, because many men won't make it obvious that they are...but to me, after a while I start to wonder if I'm really that attractive. It's all in my own head though because I also know that everyone likes different things, so to a man who likes large women, I'd be totally repulsive to him, and to many other men I wouldn't be "their type" because of my hair color (now I have a shaved head so that may limit the amount of men who do find me attractive even more?) Funnily enough, I've gotten some interesting feedback from some men since I did, so you can never tell who's into what these days.
I'd say it's more important to know what YOU are into. What sort of man do YOU like. Forget about trying to attract every man out there, it's never gonna happen. Focus on what YOU find attractive will help you zone in on what YOU want...which is AS important as what someone else wants in YOU, if you get me!
I've had some men be too scared to approach me, and other guys say similar things as they said to you...even though I'm not really ugly, though I do sometimes have ugly days and times when I see myself in not the best light. A lot of men think that if a woman isn't wearing make-up then she "doesn't look after herself and is therefore ugly". It's distorted thinking on their part.
I'm more interested in finding the sort of men who love women who are natural and don't cover themselves over in ♥♥♥♥. Know what kind of men you WANT to attract and go for them instead of worrying about trying to attract all the wrong sort of men like these creatures who said that to you. Would you really WANT to have anything to do with people who treat you that way?
It's more about what thoughts YOU are projecting about yourself, as Agota said. People can feel your energy and your thoughts will affect how they think of you. If you see yourself as ugly, then so will they, and vice versa. Working towards accepting yourself fully will help to attract people. I still need to work on this myself. It's an ongoing journey.
Last edited by elucidate; 10-12-2011 at 12:09 PM.
|10-22-2011, 04:18 PM||#46 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2011
How does an unattractive female find value in herself and find a place in this world?
Beauty is NOT in the "eye" of the beholder.
Beauty is in the IDEAs ("eye"-deas) of the beholder.....ideas that YOU tell YOURSELF.
We may look at the world, each other, and ourselves, with our eyes.
But we SEE the world, each other, and ourselves, through our "eye"-deas (ideas) !
....consequently, we don't see others according to how "they" are.
We see (and judge) others according to how WE are.
It is precisely BECAUSE the term "attractive" is subjective that people can claim they are.....
The diversity of opinion about WHAT is "attractive" or "unattractive" is DIRECTLY related to the diversity of IDEAS you accept ABOUT what "attractiveness" is ......
For instance, historically in China, the idea that a woman MUST have small feet to be considered attractive was SO prevalent in the minds of those who ascribed to this belief, that girls WILLINGLY allowed themselves to be subjected to the practice of "foot binding", which caused the continuous BREAKING of the bones in their feet as they grew to maturity.....so that the possessor of the resultant "lotus foot" could be "advertised" by marriage brokers to attract more affluent men, who "prized" such women. The smaller the foot, the higher the value of the bride. The practice of foot binding started in the tenth century and lasted for approximately one thousand years (!!!) until the Manchu Dynasty was toppled in 1911 and the New Republic banned foot binding. During this period, approximately one billion women (!!!) had their feet bound.
(see 1st source, below)
Need I even mention that in certain countries TODAY, the idea that a woman CANNOT EVEN be considered as desirable OR worthy to marry UNLESS she has undergone the barbaric procedure referred to in the second source ??
In some countries where few have enough to eat, it is considered a badge of honor for a man to have a wife (or wives) with an ample waistline....because her voluptuousness is seen by OTHERS who ascribe to this idea, that SHE is MORE desirable because of HIS ability to provide MORE THAN SHE NEEDS to eat ! The bigger the waistline, the more desirable !! (What idiotic, conflicting ideas are we telling ouselves about weight THESE days) ? (See the 3rd source)
If the aforementioned examples of what is deemed "hot" by those who ascribe to these ideas is too foreign, too distant...you only need consider what now passes for "desirability" in THIS culture....whose ideas of what is "preferable to behold and desire" CHANGES EVERY SPRING, SUMMER, AUTUMN, AND WINTER....with the latest choices the fashion industry provides to manipulatable, malleable masses of women AND men EAGER....nay, OBSESSED to be seen in them ??
It is not too far a stretch from this example to understand the "desirablility" of being ABLE to show off one's "conspicuous consumption" IN OTHER CULTURES, is it? The more consumed, the more desireable to behold....
Advertisers, friends, celebrities, or society don't sell the idea of "attractiveness" to you.
WE SELL OURSELVES ON THE IDEAS WE ACCEPT.....as "attractive" (or not).
"Mirrors don't lie" OR "you can't fool the camera" are true statements......because mirrors DON'T SPEAK and because cameras can only record what is in front of them....IMPARTIALLY !
IT IS IDEAS WE TELL OURSELVES, OR THAT WE ACCEPT AS TRUE.....IN OUR OWN HEADS THAT DO THE SPEAKING !!.....whether those ideas are true OR not !!
.....NOT the mirrors or cameras ! Do you see ?
Why DO some people have so many beholders?
BECAUSE THE BEHOLDERS HAVE CONDITIONED THEMSELVES TO ACCEPT ideas of what is desirable TO behold, whether it is a tiny, broken foot, or involuntary mutilation, or ample waistlines, or the latest fashion craze of a particular season !! They've conditioned THEMSELVES to think that what's on the OUTSIDE is MORE VALUABLE than what a person is ON THE INSIDE (where it REALLY COUNTS !).
What part of the lure of song lyrics such as, "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?"....is not explainable EXCEPT as CONDITIONING ?
When did BEING A FREAK become desirable ???
.......When girls and women considered it desirable to BE "hot freaks", while boys and men considered it desirable to WANT "hot freaks" !!!
IT IS ALL SUBJECTIVE....no different than any other human enterprise in which people are CONDITIONED TO ACCEPT whatever is suggested AS desirable.
Do you see ? THAT'S the true answer to your question.
WHAT TO DO ??
OWN YOUR OWN SCRIPT !!
It is not what you are turning FROM that is important.
It is what you are turning TO that will determine the new result.
If you realize that "script" is a metaphor for self-image, then the phrases "turning from" and "turning to" make more sense, doesn't it?
You are no more required to repeatedly endure the indignities you may have encountered by being labled in the past than you are obligated to read the same sentence in any book over and over and over again.
Doesn't it make sense that it is not necessary to "read" yourself repeating the same script (self-image) in any scenario when YOU have the "author"-ity to change it or RETAIN IT....as YOU choose ??
YOU are the "AUTHOR" of your OWN life script....and YOUR OWN IMAGE !!
It is YOUR LIFE....and YOUR SCRIPT.
Subjective implies "what you say to yourself"....
In other words, the use of the term "attractive or unattractive" is SELF-referential. How ?
Characteristics and attributes are neutral, UNTIL YOU ASSIGN IDEAS TO THEM.....that you tell YOURSELF to assign to them !
YOU ALWAYS have the last word ABOUT what you accept or reject.....because it is your INTERNAL dialogue that does the choosing.
.....and it's upon YOUR own dialogue that you act.
Don't believe me ?
What are you thinking about what you just read?
That's your internal dialogue deciding the yea or nay of this post's relevance to your question....do you see?
You ALWAYS have the last word to accept or reject information or "advice".....whether its source is inside you or from outside you.
WHAT YOU ACCEPT AS TRUE.....is what counts....
That means what you tell YOURSELF....not what you are told.
That is what SUBJECTIVE is ....
If I succeed in getting across just ONE idea in this response to your excellent question, let it be the following:
OWN YOUR OWN IMAGE !!
YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED OR FORCED TO ACCEPT ANYTHING OR ANY IDEA ABOUT YOU THAT YOU, YOURSELF DO NOT BELIEVE.
YOU HAVE ALL POWER OVER THE IDEAS IN YOUR OWN MIND !!
The IDEA I'm about to show you ALONE can completely change your world, and everything you've believed....THAT'S HOW POWERFUL IDEAS ARE !
Ready? Here it is:
"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
- Dr Wayne Dyer
Beauty really IS in the IDEAs ("eye"-deas) of the beholder....
BECAUSE YOU ARE THE BEHOLDER....of the ideas....you hold.
What does a flower sound like? Like a heartful, colourful melody of harmonies sung by the air, wind, soil, and sun that brought her, and her infinitely varicolored sisters forth in rainbow worlds of delight....
Behold your own image....
Hope this, and the sources, below help you....especially about the power of ideas !
Chinese Foot Binding
Female genital mutilation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The Fashion Industry’s Disturbing View of Gemma Ward’s Weight Gain -- The Cut
Ideas Are Always Free
Last edited by guthrio; 10-22-2011 at 11:57 PM.
|10-24-2011, 10:31 AM||#47 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2011
I would say that most guys are judging you even if you cant hear them. You're even judging them. We all do it.
If you dont think you are ugly then what they say doesnt matter anyway. But if you do think you re ugly or worthless, you have bigger issues to worry about.
I personally think you dont love yourself, and Ill tell you why. People who love themselves never feel "safe" because of someone else's reaction to their physical appearance. That feeling of safety is false.
Confidence is good, self love is better, and how physically attractive a person is doesn't matter.
But lets imagine that you were extremely attractive.
When you're dead in a coffin, with all of your family and best friends around, would you really want them talking about how hot, or attractive you are? Would you want them to give sit around discussing your gorgeous facial features, or would you want them to talk about how great a person you were?
Let me tell you something, if the only thing people have to talk about at your funeral is your looks, then its clear you weren't that great of a person. Great people dont obsess over things that dont matter. Great people are themselves no matter what. Great people give themselves unconditional love.
Unconditional. Google that.
Plain is good sometimes.
|10-24-2011, 03:24 PM||#48 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2011
I am from South East Asia and am familiar with other Asian countries and I can bet you its even worse here because we don't have much obesity problems. So if someone is just 'fleshy' or 'plump' you get labeled as fat and ugly.
It is definitely not a Western thing. If you go to Iran, and take a walk down the streets, it is quite common to see ladies with big bandages or plasters on their noses, brows, chin, etc because they want to fix their imperfections and plastic surgery is not a big deal there.
|10-24-2011, 05:19 PM||#49 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
Personally, what makes a woman attractive to me has very little to do with how she looks on the outside. Don't get me wrong, looks are on the list, but they fall in at about 5 or 6. Much more important are her intelligence, morals and ethics, sense of humor, and how well our interests line up.
I find that if I like a woman's inside, then her outside gets more attractive the better I get to know her. (And vice versa...)
Be the best you you can be, as you see it, and BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
|10-25-2011, 09:27 PM||#50 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2011
Beauty From the Inside
I know its been said, and its sometimes hard to believe, especially with all you are going through, but beauty really does come from the inside. When a person is confident with who they are and genuinely loves the world, you can see it gleaming and sparkling in their eyes. I have a friend who is short and bald, not the guy you would pick out as a "hunk", but he is the one your eye is instantly drawn to in a crowd full of men. His eyes sparkle with love and his warm smile instantly makes you feel at ease and special. Work on loving yourself, getting comfortable with yourself and try not to worry too much about what other people think about it (I know it's easier said than done). But eventually, if you genuinely love the world and are doing things you are passionate about, your inner beauty will shine around you!
|10-26-2011, 01:37 AM||#51 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2011
This is such a crazy thing that plaques most women's minds at least once. I think its terrible. Beauty really is on the inside because mortality is so fragile, outer beauty really is subjective, but if you appreciate your own I think you start to accumulate positive results from that. There is a certain way I'd love to look, but I can't change the fact that how I look will keep changing and it will never be an extension of my personality.
I hear a lot of people saying certain models and actress's are hideous and I'm thinking Christ I'd love to be that hideous. People are never happy. I think very few people go through life without someone criticising their appearance. Also no one will say something like this unless they're uncomfortable with some aspect of appearance which basically boils down to them being unhappy with themselves or having a fragile ego, otherwise why would you care. I've found as well that anyone who has criticised my appearance is far from conventionally perfect.
|10-26-2011, 06:54 PM||#52 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
HeartfulColourful, Your username is a beautiful description of your being and your true worth!
Bodies come and go, beauty comes and goes, but a colourful heart sounds like an eagerness to be lovingly creative!
To end the anguish of wondering how to be valuable in society, you will first need to see that society is mentally ill. How can you be valuable to mental illness? You're going to have to be an escape to others from their pitiful existence. Are you looking to be an object like that? Nope....
When you see how sick universally that society is, then the question is not how to please society but how to escape it. The way you escape it is to "find self" to know self. You're a miracle of existence just as we all are, infinitely valuable. If you accumulated all the wealth and knowledge in the world you still couldn't create "you" or any of us. That's the miracle that you are.
And to see what you are is to see what you aren't first. You're not your culture nor your religion. Those are mental habits indoctrinated into you. When you remove all the layers of these conditionings, what's left over is a being of loving creativity, just as your username suggests!
|10-27-2011, 04:07 AM||#53 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
And I'll be honest with you, I felt very hurt and 'ugly' too at first. But then I thought 'Heck people who matter don't care and people who care don't matter'. So after a few months on working on my self esteem and all, I would walk around looking 'ugly' with my head held high I didn't get asked out by anyone during that time but I was so okay with that because I learned that I can be happy without getting male attention/approval. Once I proved that to myself I became SO attractive to myself that I want to date me. LOL.
Also, I'm sure you're just running yourself down right now and I'm sure once you work on how you perceive yourself you'll attract a fine gentleman(who wants the shallow cocky boys eh?).
Now let's you smile
|Thread||Thread Starter||Forum||Replies||Last Post|
|what do men find really UNATTRACTIVE in women?||dice||Social & Relationships||80||09-05-2011 02:48 PM|
|What do women find REALLY unattractive in men?||ArtVandelay||Social & Relationships||115||11-19-2010 09:13 PM|
|It's good to find a place where...||Abitofzen||General & Introductions||3||09-22-2009 08:30 PM|
|Best place to find a personal coach||dominick||Personal Effectiveness||6||07-29-2009 01:12 AM|
|It's a joy to find this place.||riverdark||General & Introductions||1||09-12-2008 12:41 AM|
All times are GMT. The time now is 07:22 AM.