Dealing with college anxiety

[Ruben Cordeiro]

Hi, I've created a thread times ago, seeking emotional mastery and growth.

Seeking emotional growth and mastery

I filled a recourse and actually passed the math exam. I got into the course I wanted: computer science.

But now I'm suffering from anxiety and fear of failing the course before actually attending it. My family is always pestering me with stories of people who have given up on the course as it was extremely difficult.

"You have to study hard, there's no time for going out."

I know it won't probably the case, but these stories always makes us think about the possibility of failing. I already feel bad for being a financial burden for my family, my mother is getting a second job in order to support me.

My only thoughts revolve around saving money and studying, it seems that there's no place for joy.

Has anyone gone through this process, university? I could really use some talk and experience sharing.

Any advice would be appreciated.

[butterflyeffect]

Im often super anxious about failing subjects, balance and other Uni dramas.

I am sure your family mean well with their concerns but really their just fears and their adding to yours. You all sound like one big ball of angst.

Its just a computer course at the end of the day. Just a computer course. Nothing to scary about that right? I mean there are hundreds of them all over the world and you've picked the one you want to do. Sure it will have challenges, most of them do.

The best advice I got in regard to my fear of failing was, instead of thinking about failing, just channel that energy into studying. So everytime I get into one of my I'm going to fail states, I just do ten minutes study again and again till it passes. Then the work goes in and Im less anxious.

Besides, no one executes you if you fail a subject. You have to fail at least one, its a right of passage.

Oh and of course you can still go out, you just have to study first and then make time to go out after that. Cut back at exam times and be organised. As long as you do the work you can play too. Its those who play so hard they forget to show up at lectures that end up in trouble.

[Ruben Cordeiro]

Originally Posted by butterflyeffect

Its just a computer course at the end of the day. Just a computer course. Nothing to scary about that right? I mean there are hundreds of them all over the world and you've picked the one you want to do. Sure it will have challenges, most of them do.

The best advice I got in regard to my fear of failing was, instead of thinking about failing, just channel that energy into studying. So everytime I get into one of my I'm going to fail states, I just do ten minutes study again and again till it passes. Then the work goes in and Im less anxious.

Thank you for the advice. The perspective you presented calmed me in some way.

[ZephyrusX]

Here is good advise for any university/college course: don't let the anxieties of other people get to you. Everyone has their individual experience of class. I would often hear other students talk about how hard so-and-so assignment or course was only to find out that it actually wasn't that hard. But not before spending hours fretting away at an assignment or the first few classes of a course. You can really only draw meaningful conclusions based on your own individual experience.

[The Bus Driver]

School isn't an easy quest or everyone would have one. There's no tricks or quick and easy way to accomplish what you need to do to graduate. It's four years out of your life. When you really think about it there are only 7-8 months you go out of that year so your not looking at four years but more like 28 months that's like 2 years and 4 months. Wow that's not very long for a univesity scholarship. What I'm trying to say is you only get out of your studies is what you put in to them. The harder you apply yourself the better the grades. They don't make these courses for people to fail.

[shadowfax]

Originally Posted by Ruben Cordeiro

My only thoughts revolve around saving money and studying, it seems that there's no place for joy.

Learn to find joy in those thoughts. Be thankful and happy that you are saving money which helps your mother who is working so hard for your growth. Learn to be joyful and excited that you are in a position that you have time to study and learn something new!

Be joyful that life right now have given you the gift to be able to grow and learn as a person... You are lucky!

I am pushing to have a life where I can just spend time learning! So your life in that respect is better than mine! So just be joyful! Things will change soon enough.

[Clint Cora]

Talk about good timing! I just wrote a blog post called 'Afraid Of Failing School?' It may help you and yes, I've been through it.

[tranciko]

fearing lot for such hectic situations will ruin your career.....m rite now in such a situation were you dont get a single moment for passing time in extra activities other than studying.... bt at sme time i c many people handling enjoyment and hard core hectic studies well....... so moral is ...it all depends on how u see the world..... anxiety before even joining clge shall bring more bad effects so avoid it straight away........ and live every moment ... i must say every second happily...... M in last year... but i know how it feels to be in such trouble...i dont have any anxiety wid my course m doin...but i have gone mad in institution which i selected for this course becz i have never seen such a pathetic and strict place in my entire life...the rules are pointless and accordin to them they are only meant for creating hectic environment for students so they can do well in future in any consequences(dumb reason that ruins the present)........ My grades are bad.... but wat i gained is priceless and above my grades.... and i m pretty sure of of turning myself to more brighter side of career in future.... because i now no longer worry for depths.... i have seen many... !! there mst be no anxiety atleast before u join course......or else... it wd force u to fail and then u wont be gettin interest to study with same passion as u did before..... do hell amount of meditation to control anxiety

[Andrew Gubb]

I thought you were Spanish because of your name but now I think of it your surname could be Portuguese... where are you from ?

All I can advise you is that joyless paths rarely seem to make sense to me. If joy is out of the equation, something is wrong. Life was made to be joyful when done right.

That said, maybe your path is to push ahead and get out of the lack of joyfulness that way.

An important question is,

Will the life I have after Uni be joyful?

Because I know some courses train people up for even harder jobs. Like medicine.

Maybe it's not the case for you. I know way too little to be able to give good advice.

[ALLisWELL]

Ruben- find a quiet place and relax. Breathe in and out, but drawing in steady and slow, and letting it out in the same manner. When you've done this for a while, enough to calm your thoughts and relax your body, close your eyes and ask yourself:

"Is what I pursue in the interest of my own happiness, or an obligation I feel to live up to the expectations or desires placed upon me by another?"

The answer, whatever it may be, is all important in this matter. Are you taking the class in pursuit of a degree because you think you need this particular degree to be successful, have money, social or familial significance/acceptance? Because if you continue education solely in pursuit of pleasing another or hoping for money (but expressing yourself in a way that feels unnatural to you), you are allowing yourself to inhibit your experience. If you are pursuing this degree because the field makes YOU happy, you find it interesting, and you find yourself excited about most classes, assignments, lectures- then you are on the right path. If this is the case, simply relate the subject to your interests to see it through better eyes, to feel it more relevant, and it will be a joy. I spent four years in school stressing over classes that didn't feel right, pursuing a degree in what didn't make me happy, finding myself daydreaming just to get through the days (in pursuit of a business degree). But one day I gave in to my initial interests, and school took on a much different feeling, inside of me, as I couldn't wait to get to class, work on assignments, listen to lectures (in pursuit of an art/writing degree). The only time I got stressed out after that was in the final stretches as I pushed to the deadline, but only because I cared so much!

You say there is no joy in your life- Ruben, you MUST allow yourself to feel joy! Joy is the true you being expressed in your experience. Never deny yourself the joys of being you- make a list of all of your interests, passions, things that make you happy, things that make you feel joy. This list is who you are- the more you focus on these things, accept them into your life, the happier you will be. What jobs or career paths are related to your list in some way? Surely there is something- be creative. Maybe even post your list on this thread to get insight!

[butterflyeffect]

How are you doing Ruben? xx

[Ruben Cordeiro]

Thanks for all your support, I've read every single post

I've been extremely busy, so I wasn't able to answer earlier (thanks for asking butterfly).

I'm studying computer science and engineering.

I was so surprised with the approach that the teachers took. I'm studying visual presentation techniques, effective communication and other subjects related to the cooperation and need of communication in engineering. It's sort of a test project, where we develop those skills in particular before actually starting the course.

I've been loving it, I'm excited for the start of the course. I'm still aprehensive about some aspects, the fear isn't completely gone, but BEING there calmed me.

I've decided to schedule a session with the university psichologist, in order to discuss the matter and talk about how I can transform fear into motivation, pure energy.

I would also like to hear your experiences, it helped and continues to help me a lot. Again, thanks for our support, I love these forums.

P.S: I'm Portuguese

[neilpage]

no clue as to your worry and why you worry still I do not understand , however, if i were you ... relax......... just relax and take time as it comes just go i don;t know just have fun in time now.

[butterflyeffect]

A university counsellor is a great idea!! They will also be able to direct you to all the extra services Universities offer for free to help their students.

Maybe make a list of what you need help with, be very specfic and formulate questions and then it should be easy enough to get directions to the appropriate people/resources with the answers.

Maybe also just continue hanging around Campus and the local area, shop, have coffee and just absorb the culture. Im sure there are subtle differences, like in the clothes people where, common hang outs and popular movies. Might be fun to go explore some of the ligher parts of being at Uni before the heavy stuff starts.

At my Uni we have an orientation week with heaps of activities to help people settle in as well as volunteer students who run around socialising and easing the gap between cultures. Does your Uni do anything like that?

[Ruben Cordeiro]

Here we have a inicial group project, as a free week at the start of October with lots of festivities and activities.

I've signed to a couple of them, one is a junior enterprise. I'll be able to learn from the more advanced students. The other one is a debate group, I figure if I can meet new people while improving my argumentation skills, I'll win either way.

Tomorrow the real course begins, with programming initiation and algebra.

Whish me luck, I'll do my best to update the topic