Unhealthy Perfectionism

[pollycupcake]

I have a lot of traits of unhealthy perfectionism, in ways that very much influence my life and well-being.

Other than the standard concepts of therapy and perhaps medication, what are some other ideas to snap out of the trap of unhealthy perfectionism (without becoming a lazy slacker!)?

[Steve Boyd]

Find a project you're really not that attached to, probably one that other people won't see, and purposely do a really bad job it. Cut as many corners as possible.

I find this liberating

[Clint Cora]

Another thing you can do is find some role models you respect and study them. You just mind find that they are not perfect human beings after all but can still be respected. Then model yourself after them.

[AaronB]

What is unhealthy perfectionism? Perhaps it is a persistent feeling of being incomplete, or lack of closure. I would find it helpful to recognize this as a feeling that is not resolved by increasing your level of perfection. You personally don't feel done, even when it appears you should. I think the feeling of being done is very useful for knowing when it would be a good time to move on to other things. That is the purpose of this feeling and for you this feeling is not able to perform its very helpful function.

My guess is that there is some fear of criticism or failure. Perhaps at times of your life something really felt done to you, but it turned out to not be up to somebody else's expectations and you were traumatized by this. Or maybe you had a relationship where nothing that you did ever measured up, and you dealt with this by trying to make everything more and more complete.

I would start by asking myself what might happen if this task is considered done at the point where it really is complete enough to let go, even though it doesn't feel that way. If the feeling of needing to do more is here to protect you from some threat that feels real to you, it would be helpful to know what that threat is.