|Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT|
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|09-14-2011, 10:51 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2010
Those Teen Years....
You know what the teenage years are like these days. The frontal lobe/decision making area of the brain is not fully developed, while the limbic system (controlling hunger, sex drive, anger etc) is developing at a much faster rate. The pressures from peers, media, parents, teachers and "the world" is mounting on you. Hormones are everywhere and driving you crazy. You're old enough to have a whole lot of expectations on you, yet too young to fully know how to deal with them, or have the experience to know what to do yet.
So, a lot of people do a lot of stupid stuff in their teenage years? Is it normal to feel regret about things you did in your teens and hate yourself for it? Or do most people just look back and laugh, think "oh well, I was just a stupid kid..." and carry on with life?
|09-14-2011, 10:58 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2011
Given the incredibly low crime, smoking, drug-use, and pregnancy rates among today's teens, it would seem that they're doing a lot less "stupid" stuff than they're given credit for.
As for me, I didn't really do much stuff that I would do over differently when I was in my teens, so I don't look back on myself as having been a "stupid kid", OR feel regret about it.
|09-14-2011, 11:03 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Feb 2011
I don't know whether it's "normal" or not, but it is irrational if you want to feel positive and develop yourself right now. It's irrational since you can't change the past and because you were in some sense a different person then. You wouldn't feel guilty about pooping your pants when you were 2 years old I suppose. It's been said a lot but I see that people who experience these emotions don't think about that. As I've experienced it - guilt sucks. It's great in some cases of course.
|09-15-2011, 03:58 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Mississauga, On Canada
I certainly wished I was more developed in terms of my personal, social and communications skills as a teen but at least I didn't do anything too stupid to land me in big trouble. So I came out without too much damage.
But my feeling is not regret. I just didn't have it all together back then and it's no use to blame anything or anybody. As a late bloomer, I can say that it's certainly better late than never.
|09-20-2011, 06:56 AM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Uranus (no, not yours ;) )
Teen years are difficult for anyone in the best of situations, any other added stress or obstacles only makes it that much more difficult. I was a very early bloomer but it was for survival, so I didn't do the "normal" stupid stuff in my teen years, although I still did some things that I'm not exactly proud of. I waited untill I was in my mid-20's to experience them .
Start to learn about emotional mastery (you can find some good pointers from this board) and I promise, you will be far ahead of a majority of society and will live a far happier life.
Regret is a very negative emotion. The reason why I say this is because regret is an emotion that is an endless loop. It's a big hamster wheel in your head that is very tough to get off of. The reason is because regret is actually wanting to change something that has already happened, or at least change the outcome. Take it from someone who has personally struggled with regret, it's absolutely no fun.
Another thing I recommend is to listen to music that takes you out of your head. Positive music, but music that kind of relaxes you and gets you out of your head because that is were regret lingers. When you are stuck within your mind and not living from your heart this is the domain of regret if you are struggling with that.
I hope that helps.
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