Discouraged about unemployment

[CroMagna]

I've been vigilantly job hunting, especially in the last two weeks. I auditioned at a strip club and they let me work a shift, but now the manager's saying I have to talk to the owner about being officially put on the schedule. I thought I had the job, but now there's an additional barrier and I'm nervous. While I like stripping, it's very exhausting, the pay sucks, and my feet are killing me from wearing stilettos for 8 hours. It's also in another county, far from my home.

I also filled out an application at a sex shop. It's a low paying part-time job and it's also far. The girl said there's a lot of people applying for the job, of course. They said the owner will shoot me an email.

I also went to an interview for ESL teacher. I sent a thank you note and followed up. They said they're still interviewing people and will contact me. I still haven't heard from them.

These are easy j-o-bs that I should be able to get immediately and start making money. Why is it so hard for me to get a job?

Everyone I talk to says "well you have a Duke degree, you shouldn't have a problem." But if that were true, how come I still don't have a job after a year of looking?

The unemployment rate is reported as 9%. It's actually closer to 25%, depression era.

Sex and the City was one of my favorite shows. I love Samantha, she's independent, sex positive, and doesn't need to rely on marrying a wealthy man and bearing his children. I want to be just like her. But now I don't find the show that enjoyable because they're always talking about their fabulous careers and expensive property. It makes me feel bad.

I'm in a state of panic. What if I'm 35 and still don't have an apartment or a job?

Any solace or advice?

[CroMagna]

I'm also contemplating not getting a job. I chatted with some folks who said "do you need money?" I said "no." They said "well then why get a job. It's too much of a hassle."

They reasoned that my parents brought me into this world without my consent. Anything that happens to me until death is essentially my parents' fault. So it's ok if they take care of me.

[lycan]

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[Criseyde]

I'm in the same boat, basically. Just keep looking. Two weeks isn't a long time at all (edit: oh, wait, you said a year... have you thought about trying to get a certification or retooling a little bit?). It's hard because the market is flooded.

And no, you can't get "any" job with a degree. The problem that I'm finding with having a degree (from your school's biggest rival, actually.. ) is that now I'm overqualified for a lot of jobs, and those types of employers won't hire me because they know that I'm going to leave as soon as I find a better opportunity. I never had a problem landing those jobs before I had a BA attached to my name.

[NoJobRob]

Keep plugging away at it, someone will hire you. You may not need money right now but you will eventually (unless you have a trust fund or something), so why wait until the point of crisis to start bringing money in? I say start working ASAP and eliminate future worry as much as possible. Every dollar you make now is one less dollar to worry about later. Getting a job is (can be) a hassle, but it's just something that everyone who isn't born with money needs to do, whether it's working for someone else or yourself. That's just reality, unless you live on a deserted island or in the middle of nowhere and money means nothing. Sometimes I wish life were that simple, but this is the reality humans have created, so it's either adapt and survive, or don't.

Have you thought about any entrepreneurial endeavors? They say that our generation (Those of us in our 20's) is the first that will actually have a lower standard of living than our parents due to all the jobs being shipped overseas. Well, since times are gettin' tougher, it's time for the tough to get going. Use your imagination. Try and think of something you can do and be your own boss. I got started in trading as a means to make money to patent my invention ideas, develop prototypes, and market them. I haven't done it yet, LOL, but I will sooner or later. I just became a market junkie and got a little side tracked.

I was watching CNN the other day and they said only 63.5% of adult males are employed in any way right now. I'm not sure why they didn't show the statistic for women, or just show it for adults in general, but they didn't. They also didn't mention if that number includes retirees or students, so who knows what's really going on...

[Lioness]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I'm also contemplating not getting a job. I chatted with some folks who said "do you need money?" I said "no." They said "well then why get a job. It's too much of a hassle."

They reasoned that my parents brought me into this world without my consent. Anything that happens to me until death is essentially my parents' fault. So it's ok if they take care of me.

That's ridiculous. Do you really respect disempowering advice like that? This is the opposite of personal development; more like the cop-out of a spoiled teenager. Would your idol "Samantha" even entertain such an idea?

If you want to blame your parents and sponge off them for the forseeable future, how will that get you any closer to your goals? And you DO need money. Your own money. It's just not SMART to be dependent on (at the mercy of) anyone too long.

Job hunting can be a long and frustrating process. I used to think anyone could easily get a job like fast food or manual labor. I once found myself in the position of applying to the fast food restaurants only to be told, we're not hiring right now, try back in a month or two. So don't expect quick results, but don't give up.

You say you don't want a job and you do have marketable skills, including piano, which I've never seen you mention before. Why not hang out your shingle on Craiglist or other site and offer piano lessons? Put an add in a suburban paper/community newsletter where discretionary income is high and parents are more likely to spring for lessons. How about tutoring kids in other subjects also?

Meanwhile you can still keep your eyes open for steady income. I saw tons of stuff on Craigslist you would be eligible for (does depend which city you're in) look under admin/office, customer service, food/bev/hosp, education and marketing. To my surprise, a lot of these jobs are not requiring experience either. You can also see if you're a match for anything on Elance or guru.com. If there are Temp agencies where you live check them out. That can be a great way of trying different things while earning some money and can lead to something permanent.

I also saw grant and fellowship programs for psychology. Maybe there's a grant or tuition forgiveness program that will help you get your transcripts released and continue to grad school.

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by NoJobRob

Have you thought about any entrepreneurial endeavors? They say that our generation (Those of us in our 20's) is the first that will actually have a lower standard of living than our parents due to all the jobs being shipped overseas. Well, since times are gettin' tougher, it's time for the tough to get going. Use your imagination. Try and think of something you can do and be your own boss. I got started in trading as a means to make money to patent my invention ideas, develop prototypes, and market them. I haven't done it yet, LOL, but I will sooner or later. I just became a market junkie and got a little side tracked.

This is the conclusion I'm rapidly reaching as well. OK, tried the job hunting thing for a few months, and it's making me feel extremely discouraged and depressed and yielding no results. That's fine -- I don't have to stop doing that, but it's time to get going with some other endeavors as well. It doesn't matter if I can only make $5 doing something at first; $5 is better than $0.

[elucidate]

Didn't you just start another thread the other day saying how you were happily out of the rat race, and not interested in employment?

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I'm also contemplating not getting a job. I chatted with some folks who said "do you need money?" I said "no." They said "well then why get a job. It's too much of a hassle."

They reasoned that my parents brought me into this world without my consent. Anything that happens to me until death is essentially my parents' fault. So it's ok if they take care of me.

What a crock of disempowering crap that is!

It sounds like your anti-natalist buddies are just using that argument to justify bludging off their parents and guilt tripping them into getting what they want like spoilt little kids playing the victim.

They may not have asked to come here, but the fact is they are here and they can make of it what they want. If sponging off their own parents is their idea of what having a life is all about then it suggests a total lack of vision in my opinion, not to mention a lack of self-respect.

If you want to be a leech with no self respect all your life then listen to them. If not, then think for yourself.

[Laurenaus]

um..at least u dont need a job..

[ZephyrusX]

Are you still interested in social work? I think you said that you needed to complete additional education to qualify for such work, but if you are not in need of money and cannot find a job, why not find volunteer opportunities that would compliment the area of social work you are interested in? Depending upon the field, I think it is necessary for applications to have some form of experience before they can get a paying job, regardless of education background. Or if you are going the psychology route, you might be able to find volunteer work that would compliment your field of interest... May be... That might be a little harder to do if you are interested in research as I suspect RA positions would only go to students.

I like the idea of selling your skills as well even if it doesn't earn you enough money to be independent financially. At least you would be learning new things, like marketing your services and networking.

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

I'm in the same boat, basically. Just keep looking. It's hard because the market is flooded.

Wow Cris! It feels so good to know that someone else is in the same boat, especially someone as intelligent and respectable as you.

I'll keep looking on the internet guys, thanks.

[Asmoday]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Wow Cris! It feels so good to know that someone else is in the same boat, especially someone as intelligent and respectable as you.

I'll keep looking on the internet guys, thanks.

The market is flooded with people who are all doing the same thing.

It is not flooded with people who are appealing to the self-interest of the employers.

I can walk you through this, but its going to take you outside your comfort zone -- and the first thing you have to do is pick a few companies you really want to work for, independent of whether they are hiring or not. And, if you would like my help, we'll have to do it here in the thread, so everyone can learn from it.

[Asmoday]

Originally Posted by elucidate

What a crock of disempowering crap that is!

It sounds like your anti-natalist buddies are just using that argument to justify bludging off their parents and guilt tripping them into getting what they want like spoilt little kids playing the victim.

They may not have asked to come here, but the fact is they are here and they can make of it what they want. If sponging off their own parents is their idea of what having a life is all about then it suggests a total lack of vision in my opinion, not to mention a lack of self-respect.

If you want to be a leech with no self respect all your life then listen to them. If not, then think for yourself.

LULZ. Awesome.

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by Asmoday

The market is flooded with people who are all doing the same thing.

It is not flooded with people who are appealing to the self-interest of the employers.

I can walk you through this, but its going to take you outside your comfort zone -- and the first thing you have to do is pick a few companies you really want to work for, independent of whether they are hiring or not. And, if you would like my help, we'll have to do it here in the thread, so everyone can learn from it.

Let's hear it.

[Lioness]

Elucidate nailed it.

This attitude is not all that uncommon. I remember as a frustrated teen, I sort of gave up for a while and figured my predicament ultimately led back to the way my parents raised me, so they were responsible. I'm ashamed I ever had the nerve to think they owed me a living after providing for me and educating me for 18+ years.

But at the same time, I really wanted my own place, my independence. We grow up with this fairy tale that we finish school, get a job, a nice apartment, then a family, a nice house and live happily ever after. When it doesn't come together easily, we are frustrated and resentful.

I think parents should be willing to help their adult children, but firm in insisting that they take steps consistently to find a way to support themselves. They do their grown kids no favor by letting them mooch indefinitely. It sucks to be grown and living in your childhood bedroom, or the ever-popular basement. Your folks won't be around forever, and they may fall on financial hard times themselves. It feels great when you are able to make your own money and help them out for a change.

[Le Roi]

I'm in a state of panic. What if I'm 35 and still don't have an apartment or a job?

LOL, I am 35, and I don't have my own apartment, I don't have a job, I've being unemployed for over a year since I graduated with my MBA, and it's pretty much being the best year of my life so far. Sure, I have gotten frustrated at times, and I've badly wished for a job at other times, but overall it's being a really awesome year full of growth and exciting experiences.

One thing to keep in mind as you are job searching, is that you are a product. You are offering your services and skills. If the marketplace says "no", then that's not a reflection of your inner being at all. It simply means the marketplace is saturated for the product that you are presenting right now. It means that you can either 1) Change those skills into something that the marketplace really needs 2) Market different skills that you have that the marketplace really needs or 3) Better market your current skills. Seems like Asmoday is willing to help you with #3.

[Le Roi]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

And no, you can't get "any" job with a degree. The problem that I'm finding with having a degree (from your school's biggest rival, actually.. ) is that now I'm overqualified for a lot of jobs, and those types of employers won't hire me because they know that I'm going to leave as soon as I find a better opportunity. I never had a problem landing those jobs before I had a BA attached to my name.

Can you apply to those jobs without mentioning your degree?

[Le Roi]

@Cro You want to work in the sex industry right? Is there something you could do right now, that doesn't require you to have a job, in order to help people with their sex life?

That way you could start giving to the world, instead of just feeling like you're requesting for yourself (ie job search).

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by Le Roi

Can you apply to those jobs without mentioning your degree?

Nah, not really; they always ask for education on the applications. I'm pretty sure that not mentioning the degree would count as falsification, especially since I held a couple jobs there as well.

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Lioness

Elucidate nailed it.

This attitude is not all that uncommon. I remember as a frustrated teen, I sort of gave up for a while and figured my predicament ultimately led back to the way my parents raised me, so they were responsible. I'm ashamed I ever had the nerve to think they owed me a living after providing for me and educating me for 18+ years.

Your parents are responsible for your upbringing. And they do owe you a living until the day you die because they chose to bring you into this world for their own self-interested reasons and without your consent. So anything that happens to do, because of their decision to conceive plus their parenting style, is ultimately their fault. But I agree that you should take control and try to live life independently regardless of this fact.

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Le Roi

LOL, I am 35, and I don't have my own apartment, I don't have a job, I've being unemployed for over a year since I graduated with my MBA, and it's pretty much being the best year of my life so far. Sure, I have gotten frustrated at times, and I've badly wished for a job at other times, but overall it's being a really awesome year full of growth and exciting experiences.

I'm sorry to hear that you're 35, unemployed, and still living at home.

But this is amazing. I feel so much better knowing that this is not the end of the world if that's what happens. Thank you.

What sort of growth have you achieved? What are you going to do about this?

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Asmoday

The market is flooded with people who are all doing the same thing.

It is not flooded with people who are appealing to the self-interest of the employers.

I can walk you through this, but its going to take you outside your comfort zone -- and the first thing you have to do is pick a few companies you really want to work for, independent of whether they are hiring or not. And, if you would like my help, we'll have to do it here in the thread, so everyone can learn from it.

Ok great, thanks!

Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance - Home
Naral Pro-Choice America NARAL Pro-Choice America
Planned Parenthood Sexual & Reproductive Health - Sex Education - Planned Parenthood

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Le Roi

@Cro You want to work in the sex industry right? Is there something you could do right now, that doesn't require you to have a job, in order to help people with their sex life?

That way you could start giving to the world, instead of just feeling like you're requesting for yourself (ie job search).

Well I have given advice about NSA arrangements to a girl here via PM. I could give advice via internet forums.

[ZephyrusX]

I have a hard time understanding this. Your parents owe you nothing. I'm tempted to say that they are only required to care for you up to a certain age, but there are parents that leave their children very early on and try very hard to avoid any legal obligations they have. I'm lucky to have a large enough family that has helped me in difficult situations too, but our families care for us because they love us and want to care for us. They are not obligated to care about us. Do you think your family acts from different motivations when they offer to care for you?

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Your parents are responsible for your upbringing. And they do owe you a living until the day you die because they chose to bring you into this world for their own self-interested reasons and without your consent. So anything that happens to do, because of their decision to conceive plus their parenting style, is ultimately their fault. But I agree that you should take control and try to live life independently regardless of this fact.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Your parents are responsible for your upbringing. And they do owe you a living until the day you die because they chose to bring you into this world for their own self-interested reasons and without your consent. So anything that happens to do, because of their decision to conceive plus their parenting style, is ultimately their fault. But I agree that you should take control and try to live life independently regardless of this fact.

Utter crap!

Your parents don't owe you a thing and neither does the world. In your worldview you would have your own parents charged with non-consensual birth-giving if it were a crime, which you see it as! Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?

"Boo-hoo, I was born without my permission...now give me money for birth-raping me!"

Furthermore, if you really did believe in your argument, you wouldn't accept anything from your parents for the awful "crime" of giving you life, you'd be too proud to take their money and probably want nothing to do with them from the deep disgust you felt for them, instead of sticking around to milk them for all they're worth as some sort of "compensation".

My parents put me through a lot in my twenties, and as a teen, but never once did I even think of trying to charge them for it, and I've known some supposed "adults" who think like you trying to convince me I 'should'.

Then again, I'm a Leo with a Leo sun rising...I have waaaay too much pride. It took me ten years to get over myself enough to ask my father (who can be a real ass) to help me pay for my teeth to be fixed, and only when they were literally crumbling out of my mouth and I was in so much agony I couldn't think straight...and I hated doing it.

Maybe it wouldn't be a problem for you though?

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

I have a hard time understanding this. Your parents owe you nothing. I'm tempted to say that they are only required to care for you up to a certain age, but there are parents that leave their children very early on and try very hard to avoid any legal obligations they have. I'm lucky to have a large enough family that has helped me in difficult situations too, but our families care for us because they love us and want to care for us. They are not obligated to care about us. Do you think your family acts from different motivations when they offer to care for you?

They are in fact obligated to care for you because they brought you into this difficult world without your consent for their own selfish reasons, such as having a live doll to play with.

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Utter crap!

Your parents don't owe you a thing and neither does the world. In your worldview you would have your own parents charged with non-consensual birth-giving if it were a crime, which you see it as! Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?

"Boo-hoo, I was born without my permission...now give me money for birth-raping me!"

Furthermore, if you really did believe in your argument, you wouldn't accept anything from your parents for the awful "crime" of giving you life, you'd be too proud to take their money and probably want nothing to do with them from the deep disgust you felt for them, instead of sticking around to milk them for all they're worth as some sort of "compensation".

My parents put me through a lot in my twenties, and as a teen, but never once did I even think of trying to charge them for it, and I've known some supposed "adults" who think like you trying to convince me I 'should'.

Then again, I'm a Leo with a Leo sun rising...I have waaaay too much pride. It took me ten years to get over myself enough to ask my father (who can be a real ass) to help me pay for my teeth to be fixed, and only when they were literally crumbling out of my mouth and I was in so much agony I couldn't think straight...and I hated doing it.

Maybe it wouldn't be a problem for you though?

Bullsht. Ever heard of suing someone?

Your parents owe you BIGTIME because they brought you into this MISERABLE, DIFFICULT world without your consent. They did it for selfish reasons, such as to get to play with you when you were a baby.

It's not playing victim, I would return the EXACT SAME favor to my daughter or son. If I have children, I do it with the FULL AWARENESS that I'm doing it for selfish reasons and that I owe him or her for the rest of their life. Period.

[CroMagna]

Update: I got the dancing job. FINALLY!

Now I just need to look for a second job, plus I have a volunteer job, so I'm gonna be superbusy.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Your parents are responsible for your upbringing. And they do owe you a living until the day you die because they chose to bring you into this world for their own self-interested reasons and without your consent.

Nonsense, you did consent.

You consented today. You consented yesterday. You consented last week, you consented last year, and you consented every single day of your life from the time you knew what suicide was and you didn't do it.