Discouraged about unemployment

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Nonsense, you did consent.

You consented today. You consented yesterday. You consented last week, you consented last year, and you consented every single day of your life from the time you knew what suicide was and you didn't do it.

Hey ALG, any tips for job seekers?

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Nonsense, you did consent.

You consented today. You consented yesterday. You consented last week, you consented last year, and you consented every single day of your life from the time you knew what suicide was and you didn't do it.

How can you consent after the fact? Can you consent to being raped if you don't commit suicide after the fact?

Suicide is extremely unnatural and difficult to do. Sleeping pills don't work and barbituates are hard to find, even on the black market. Suicide runs counter to evoluntary forces of survival that are beyond your control. Suicide also hurts your loved ones and has a permanent impact on those who knew you. It's not that simple.

If I give you an addictive drug without your consent, like cigarettes, are you consenting everyday that you continue to smoke? I think not.

[christianyethboth]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I've been vigilantly job hunting, especially in the last two weeks. I auditioned at a strip club and they let me work a shift, but now the manager's saying I have to talk to the owner about being officially put on the schedule. I thought I had the job, but now there's an additional barrier and I'm nervous. While I like stripping, it's very exhausting, the pay sucks, and my feet are killing me from wearing stilettos for 8 hours. It's also in another county, far from my home.

I also filled out an application at a sex shop. It's a low paying part-time job and it's also far. The girl said there's a lot of people applying for the job, of course. They said the owner will shoot me an email.

I also went to an interview for ESL teacher. I sent a thank you note and followed up. They said they're still interviewing people and will contact me. I still haven't heard from them.

These are easy j-o-bs that I should be able to get immediately and start making money. Why is it so hard for me to get a job?

Everyone I talk to says "well you have a Duke degree, you shouldn't have a problem." But if that were true, how come I still don't have a job after a year of looking?

The unemployment rate is reported as 9%. It's actually closer to 25%, depression era.

Sex and the City was one of my favorite shows. I love Samantha, she's independent, sex positive, and doesn't need to rely on marrying a wealthy man and bearing his children. I want to be just like her. But now I don't find the show that enjoyable because they're always talking about their fabulous careers and expensive property. It makes me feel bad.

I'm in a state of panic. What if I'm 35 and still don't have an apartment or a job?

Any solace or advice?

The best way round this problem is to just to keep being persistant, dedicated and not giving up in finding a job and eventually someone will employ you. I'd suggest trying a more positive and respectful job though preferbly away from the sex industry in which that way you won't feel degraded and disrespected by so many people including employers. The sad fact in the sex industry is that the 'employers' only look at you as a piece of 'attractive meat' to keep the customers happy and not really caring about you and not respecting you as a person.

There may be government funded free of charge job related courses to help get you qualified in getting a more respectable job and possibly help find you an apartment on rent helped by the government.

[Lioness]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Your parents are responsible for your upbringing. And they do owe you a living until the day you die.

Most children long outlive their parents. Are they supposed to pay your bills for life from the grave too?

[MagicalRealist]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Nonsense, you did consent.

You consented today. You consented yesterday. You consented last week, you consented last year, and you consented every single day of your life from the time you knew what suicide was and you didn't do it.

It's finally dawned on me, just now, ALG: this is Rockchick26 all over again, only in slow motion and on multiple threads.

[MagicalRealist]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Your parents owe you BIGTIME because they brought you into this MISERABLE, DIFFICULT world without your consent. They did it for selfish reasons, such as to get to play with you when you were a baby.

Hmm. So have you sat down with your parents and informed them of this obligation? And if so, what was their response?

It's not playing victim, I would return the EXACT SAME favor to my daughter or son.

Easy for the childfree, anti-natalist to say...

[Lioness]

Originally Posted by MagicalRealist

It's finally dawned on me, just now, ALG: this is Rockchick26 all over again, only in slow motion and on multiple threads.

I remember Rockchick's massive thread on the IM board, so I checked her status out of curiousity. She was banned under the no-whining rule.

The moderator's comments reminded me of a thread James 81 had about accepting that he had to take full responsibility for everything in his life, no matter what.

I think CroMagna has done a lot of going in circles from the stripping to comtemplating law, computer science, blogging, sex therapy, psychology, social work, child-free or LGBT community advocate, teaching ESL, relocating to Brazil and back again. (Did I forget anything?)

I am disappointed she has gone back to stripping which is kind of like, isn't this where we started years ago? I only hope her purpose is to earn money to pay off that college debt, and continue her education; not fall into a dead-end job that teaches no marketable skills beyond shaking your behind.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Bullsht. Ever heard of suing someone?

Your parents owe you BIGTIME because they brought you into this MISERABLE, DIFFICULT world without your consent. They did it for selfish reasons, such as to get to play with you when you were a baby.

It's not playing victim, I would return the EXACT SAME favor to my daughter or son. If I have children, I do it with the FULL AWARENESS that I'm doing it for selfish reasons and that I owe him or her for the rest of their life. Period.

I agree that parents reasons are mainly selfish, but if you are that pissed off about it you could just get as far away as possible from them and have your own life.

Like I said, if you want to be a leech and spend your life punishing your parents for bringing you here, then that's your perogative. I can think of better things to do with my time here though...that's all I'm sayin'.

Once you start on the guilt tripping you bind yourself to them for life...do you want that, or do you want to be free? What you propose is just distasteful to me, but if that's how your mind works then I accept that.

Do you think rape victims should be compensated monetarily? Do you think that would help them at all or take away the nightmares?

Would money really make everything better for you, having been brought into this miserable world? Would it make up for everything being so difficult and miserable?

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by elucidate

I agree that parents reasons are mainly selfish, but if you are that pissed off about it you could just get as far away as possible from them and have your own life.

Like I said, if you want to be a leech and spend your life punishing your parents for bringing you here, then that's your perogative. I can think of better things to do with my time here though...that's all I'm sayin'.

Once you start on the guilt tripping you bind yourself to them for life...do you want that, or do you want to be free?

I agree with you here.

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Lioness

I remember Rockchick's massive thread on the IM board, so I checked her status out of curiousity. She was banned under the no-whining rule.

The moderator's comments reminded me of a thread James 81 had about accepting that he had to take full responsibility for everything in his life, no matter what.

I think CroMagna has done a lot of going in circles from the stripping to comtemplating law, computer science, blogging, sex therapy, psychology, social work, child-free or LGBT community advocate, teaching ESL, relocating to Brazil and back again. (Did I forget anything?)

I am disappointed she has gone back to stripping which is kind of like, isn't this where we started years ago? I only hope her purpose is to earn money to pay off that college debt, and continue her education; not fall into a dead-end job that teaches no marketable skills beyond shaking your behind.

I did contemplate several other careers before coming to a decision to pursue a career as a sex therapist. Social worker, psychologist, and sex therapist are the same thing. I wanted to pursue sex therapy via psychology but realized it would be too expensive and time consuming. Teaching ESL was a means of supplementing my income to go back to school to become a sex therapist. I never wanted to be a child-free or LGBT community advocate. I'm still interested in going to Brazil but will have to put that on hold for now.

[Lioness]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Social worker, psychologist, and sex therapist are the same thing.

Well you can lump them together in your mind, but they are not the same.

I never wanted to be a child-free or LGBT community advocate.

OK, scratch community advocate; replace with "area of interest" job:

I'm having trouble locating interesting jobs. All the jobs I have located sound incredibly boring.

My areas of interest are:

-childfree
-atheism/agnosticism/secular humanism
-sex positive feminism

An area of somewhat interest is:

-lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender

[Asmoday]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

Hey ALG, any tips for job seekers?

Allright Chris -- pick three companies that you have local access to that you'd like to work for, and the more specific you can be about division/position, the better. Post em up here, then pick the one you'd like to start with first.

@Cro -- allright, are these local to where you are now? If so, pick one to start with, if not, choose three that are. OR, as you now have a job, if you're happy with it, I can just focus on Chris if you don't feel you'll have time/energy to really go at this thing now.

[HeartExalted]

Originally Posted by Asmoday

Allright Chris -- pick three companies that you have local access to that you'd like to work for, and the more specific you can be about division/position, the better. Post em up here, then pick the one you'd like to start with first.

I'm actually really looking forward to seeing this process!

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by Asmoday

Allright Chris -- pick three companies that you have local access to that you'd like to work for, and the more specific you can be about division/position, the better. Post em up here, then pick the one you'd like to start with first.

I have a question, first. What do you think about experience? I just graduated a few months ago and have no "real job" experience. Should I just say what I want to do anyway, or do I need to start lower?

[Andrew Brunelle]

It's a sad day when even the low-responsibility slack jobs are scarce. Thank God I got mine way before the serious unemployment bubble popped. And it pays around $11 an hour. I've managed to save nearly $20k in the past 2.5 years while paying rent and buying food. Whether or not you have a degree is irrelevant right now for the kinds of jobs you're applying for. You have to stand out when you send out your resumes and cover letters.

With all the applicants out there, you'll get stuck in a mass of similar people unless you display your uniqueness. Whatever your talent is, give those people a sample. If you really want a job bad enough, you'll do what it takes to get one. Or you can create a way of getting income that doesn't require a job.

[HeartExalted]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

I have a question, first. What do you think about experience? I just graduated a few months ago and have no "real job" experience. Should I just say what I want to do anyway, or do I need to start lower?

Considering these are the Steve Pavlina boards, I would say you should probably list what you truly want to do. Here, we're all about setting your sights on your most heartfelt goals. Of course, Asmoday will be the final authority on your question, seeing as he's the one you're going to be working with here.

[ZephyrusX]

If you make a good impression applying for the job that you want, do you think they would offer you a lower position even if you don't qualify for the former job? I guess may be it depends upon the field. I was advised by our library director to apply for job ads that I don't quite qualify for as they may be willing to hire someone in my position for a lower salary range or a different position.

Originally Posted by Criseyde

I have a question, first. What do you think about experience? I just graduated a few months ago and have no "real job" experience. Should I just say what I want to do anyway, or do I need to start lower?

[shallownot]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

I never had a problem landing those jobs before I had a BA attached to my name.

Then try not to attach your BA to your name or in your resume. I did that once and got hired for the job that didn't require an overqualified person to do it.

[brendannz]

Are there things you'd like to be doing with your life, that you wouldn't be able to do if you had a full time job, to spend all your time doing?

Make the most of that time now. Time is more precious than money..

[HeartExalted]

Originally Posted by shallownot

Then try not to attach your BA to your name or in your resume. I did that once and got hired for the job that didn't require an overqualified person to do it.

In my case, what I did for some of those jobs was to print a resume in which, under education, I wrote it in as:
[Major], [Name of School]
...and allowed them to draw their own conclusions. I wasn't falsifying any information -- I did indeed study X at school Y. I just failed to mention that I actually had a Master's degree in X.

[Asmoday]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

I have a question, first. What do you think about experience? I just graduated a few months ago and have no "real job" experience. Should I just say what I want to do anyway, or do I need to start lower?

The question is irrelevant to the approach we will be using -- remember, our objective here is to get you in the door, where you go from there will be up to you. It matters for some positions -- but, coming from that "you need experience to get experience" trap, all we need to do is get you to the top of the slush-pile, so to speak. In short, don't worry about it yet, we'll tackle all that pre-interview. So choose three locals, we've got research to do.

@Cro: Hey, are those companies local, I didn't see a reply (but I may have missed it as I scanned)? If not, give me three local ones. These need to be companies where you can easily get face-time, if that turns out to be necessary.

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by Asmoday

The question is irrelevant to the approach we will be using -- remember, our objective here is to get you in the door, where you go from there will be up to you. It matters for some positions -- but, coming from that "you need experience to get experience" trap, all we need to do is get you to the top of the slush-pile, so to speak. In short, don't worry about it yet, we'll tackle all that pre-interview. So choose three locals, we've got research to do.

All right. I want to do instructional design (e-learning). So, I'm about to totally give away my location...

Office of the Chief Information Officer | eLearning (Ohio State University)
Ascendum Solutions LLC
Academic Divisions (Sinclair Community College)

Ohio State may require an MAT or M.Ed. or something silly... but I know the second one doesn't and I'm 99% sure that the third one doesn't either.

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Asmoday

The question is irrelevant to the approach we will be using -- remember, our objective here is to get you in the door, where you go from there will be up to you. It matters for some positions -- but, coming from that "you need experience to get experience" trap, all we need to do is get you to the top of the slush-pile, so to speak. In short, don't worry about it yet, we'll tackle all that pre-interview. So choose three locals, we've got research to do.

@Cro: Hey, are those companies local, I didn't see a reply (but I may have missed it as I scanned)? If not, give me three local ones. These need to be companies where you can easily get face-time, if that turns out to be necessary.

Hi sorry for the delay. Yes these three companies are local. I'd like to start with Planned Parenthood. Thanks.

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Lioness

Well you can lump them together in your mind, but they are not the same.

They're all psychotherapist or sex therapist.

Originally Posted by Lioness

OK, scratch community advocate; replace with "area of interest" job:

You have to cast your net wide otherwise you'll be looking forever.

[growingmom]

@Cris. I assume that you have an IT degree. There is no shortage of jobs in IT right now. Look for "Business analyst" type of jobs specifically focused on web applications.

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by growingmom

@Cris. I assume that you have an IT degree. There is no shortage of jobs in IT right now. Look for "Business analyst" type of jobs specifically focused on web applications.

Aw, thanks growingmom but I have a BA in English. I'm taking a couple classes starting Monday to brush up my IT skills though -- woohoo!

[CroMagna]

I have a BA in English too. The only thing that qualifies you for is a McJob.

I'm glad we have so much in common. How old are you?

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I have a BA in English too. The only thing that qualifies you for is a McJob.

I'm glad we have so much in common. How old are you?

Nah, I don't agree. The job market is just slow, that's all. There are MBAs and chemistry majors working McJobs right now too. I wonder if we know some of the same professors?

I'm 22 -- I just graduated in May. How about you?

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

Nah, I don't agree. The job market is just slow, that's all. There are MBAs and chemistry majors working McJobs right now too. I wonder if we know some of the same professors?

I'm 22 -- I just graduated in May. How about you?

Oh wow lucky you. I'm 28 which is still young but not as young

You have a lot of time, make the most of it. Congratulations on starting your classes.

You're right about the slow job market

I bet we know a lot of the same areas on the two campuses.

[NAL]

Originally Posted by Le Roi

LOL, I am 35, and I don't have my own apartment, I don't have a job, I've being unemployed for over a year since I graduated with my MBA, and it's pretty much being the best year of my life so far. Sure, I have gotten frustrated at times, and I've badly wished for a job at other times, but overall it's being a really awesome year full of growth and exciting experiences.

One thing to keep in mind as you are job searching, is that you are a product. You are offering your services and skills. If the marketplace says "no", then that's not a reflection of your inner being at all. It simply means the marketplace is saturated for the product that you are presenting right now. It means that you can either 1) Change those skills into something that the marketplace really needs 2) Market different skills that you have that the marketplace really needs or 3) Better market your current skills. Seems like Asmoday is willing to help you with #3.

Are you serious in your first paragraph when you say that ?? For me it is the absolute worst most horrible experience anyone can encounter short of a bad illness or death of a loved one. I don't mean to hijack this thread but as I have said here, people treat you as a lowlife if you aren't employed even if you don't think so that scarlet letter can be seen a mile away.