Please assess my noisy neighbor problem

[ShunterAlhena]

Hi folks,
I moved into a new flat and my only complaint is that I can overhear the TV from downstairs. They must be listening to it really loudly, since I can't overhear my upstairs or side neighbors, and they most certainly have TVs too.
It is muted enough to be unintelligible. However, I have a mild form of noise anxiety and while I don't care about traffic noise or dogs barking, sadly TV and especially bass music can drive me nuts.

Steps I've taken:
- Tried connecting with them. I found out that they're nice people, but closed to new connections.
- Actively convincing myself that I'll be lifting weights above them, and since they'll tolerate my noise, I'll tolerate theirs.
- Will purchase loudspeakers and drown the noise out with my music. (Not as a form of revenge, I'll turn it on just loud enough to mask the TV.)

Question 1. How would you rate this issue? Does overhearing TV count as a common nuisance?

Question 2. Do you have any experience or suggestions about overcoming noise anxiety?

Thanks.

[C33]

I have noise anxiety. In fact right now, my upstairs neighbor is playing the organ and it's driving me nuts...

I love to listen to loud music, and I do it with headphones as a courtesy to people living around me.
If you pay rent, you are entitled to a quiet enjoyment of the premises.

Check your rental agreement and the laws in your county/city. I know in some cities it's impossible to fight noise pollution, in others, you can call the police on people and get them evicted.

Not that you want it to get to that length with your neighbors, but if they don't get it, it doesn't matter how nice they are, it matters how rude they are.
1- Talk to them again
2 - Talk to your landlord
3- Send them a letter where they have to sign a receipt upon reception describing the noise pollution and quoting any law applicable.

I hope this is resolved peacefully. Nowadays, with cordless headphones, you can enjoy your t.v and music as loud as you want without inconveniencing others.

[taylor]

Originally Posted by ShunterAlhena

Question 1. How would you rate this issue? Does overhearing TV count as a common nuisance?

Question 2. Do you have any experience or suggestions about overcoming noise anxiety?

Thanks.

1: I would rate it as not a big deal. Actually, it is a big deal to a LOT of people but it's better for your sanity if you can think of it as nothing. It's nothing, not even worth noticing. Whenever I've started getting mad about it in the past, like when I'm trying to sleep and my neighbors having a party and it's LOUD, I realize I'm doing it to myself and let it go. They deserve to have a party every once in a while, that's ok. I want to be the kind of person who is very flexible and easy going. It's very common to have noisy neighbors in flats, or flatmates playing music in the other room when you want quiet.

You're never gonna be able to control your sound environment 100%. You go to the library at university in the study section and people will talk on their phones. Whatever, I just ignore it. It's only because I'm fighting against it that it's distracting. If I'm super focused on my studies then everything else disappears.

Listen to music/ambient noise if it's really distracting you. In mobile environments always take headphones and ambient noise with you if you need to concentrate. They might be old and need it up really loud?

[Merr]

We get a lot of loud noise from our nextdoor neighbours but I've learned to get used to it. Occasionally if it gets really bad I go over and politely request that the volume be turned down and it's done. If you really feel like you can't continue with this, I would suggest that you go and see them and be ultra nice and polite with your complaint as you don't want to fall out with your neighbours. Something like: 'I'm sorry to trouble you and I'm sure you don't realise it but I can hear your TV from upstairs. Can you lower the volume a little bit please?'

However, if you think you're creating 'noise pollution' of your own with your weights, it might be necessary to modify your approach. Otherwise, you might irk your neighbours and they might take a 'who the hell does he think he is when he makes noise with his weights kind of stance.' You could say something like: 'I just wanted to check that the noise of my weights isn't bothering you, as I know they can be a bit loud sometimes.' Depending on the response to that, it may open the door to going to them in future and asking them to lower the volume. After all, you'd have shown yourself to be a very thoughtful and accommodating neighbour...

[Clint Cora]

It's hard to say without actually hearing it. To rate how much of an issue it is, I think you would have to get your property manager or superintendant to give a listen while that TV is on and let them judge it. Different buildings may have different levels. Overall, this is one of the issues that everyone who lives in buildings face.

I use to live in one condo and I could hear the guy next door peeing! Now that was nuts. Maybe building noise issues gives you some motivation to build yourself up successfully so that someday you can move into a detached house if desired.

[opentoinput]

I have the same problem only worse. Sound is not the only issue for me. Obscenities, fighting, drunk parking, trash, etc. are among my issues.

I actually had the upstairs neighbor dump a huge container (ten gallons) of their filthy water onto my patio which extends beyond theirs, onto my plants, and onto my head (they were not aware of my presence at the time.)

I have the management's number on speed dial.

My attitude is that I pay for a service.

The service is that of renting a pleasant, livable space.

If I don't like something about the service, I document the issue and complain to the management, saving a copy of the documentation for myself.

I pay for the management to actually "manage" the space.

If I try to manage the space, I am wasting my time, energy, and money doing someone else's job.

Why should I expend energy and emotion on an issue that I am paying someone else to deal with?

If the tenants that are offensive to me, continue to be offensive, then I make another complaint citing and documenting the last complaint and citing and documenting the current complaint, and so on.

If the complaint is a violation of the legal code, I make a copy of the complaint and send it to the appropriate agency.

Additionally, I follow up a week later on the issue with everyone to make sure that it has been taken care of.

People generally treat you in the manner that you demand, as long as you document your demand, keep calm, cool, and collected (if you can't or get nervous, write it up), follow up on the demand, and if all else fails, follow a path of recourse against them in case they don't, which isn't as frequent as you would expect.

Good Luck

[taylor]

Originally Posted by opentoinput

I document the issue

I like how you bolded this. I agree it's very important. Documentation is such a great practice to get into. I learned the hard way a couple of times. Better to document too much than too little.

[ZephyrusX]

I have a very low tolerance towards noise pollution as well. I just get really irked and agitated if there are certain noises present while I'm trying to focus on something else - music, TV, etc. Apparently, it is possible to condition your self so that you will no longer react to these noises with agitation. The issue and some techniques have already been discussed on these forums in the past. You'll have to look around in the archives as I don't remember the exact technique involved.

I prefer to mask sounds and use a pair of 'ear muffs' to reduce if not eliminate the noise if I want my silence. But if the noise is occurring frequently, like 24/7, I'd speak to your neighbour, and if he/she is not cooperative, get the landlord involved. I once had a neighbour who listened to music almost non stop. Even into the dead of night. I sicked the landlord on his ass!

[Perry M]

Is it just noise in general like pipes, loud trucks passing by, or construction, that gets to you or is it feeling like this neighbor is inconsiderate?

I have had similar problems with both situations where I have lived and I have lived in lots of places. This is a bit out there but it's the only thing that helped me with neighbors...

Try to make it OK for your neighbor to do what he/she does. Everybody has an annoying trait including you and I. Think of the annoying behaviors you have or had that others put up with. Even what we think is no big deal can cause stress for others. If you drive you add to the traffic problem for someone else.

Also concentrate on feeling loved. I know it sounds weird, but for some reason when I feel loved it's like I don't really care how other people behave. I just feel really happy and feel love for others. Although it will take a lot of discipline and practice to focus on the feeling. So whenever you feel annoyed immediately focus on feeling loved. When I do this after a while I sleep like a baby.

Also if you find yourself feeling too much anxiety, you could get out of bed and go for a walk or do something productive. It could be anything which helps lower nervousness. Over time these things can retrain your mind and physiology so that your not as easily frazzled.

If it's just plain noise that bothers you. Get a good pair of earplugs.

[Amama]

I have noise anxiety too and wear ear plugs. It helps quite a bit but I think the best answer is to save your money and buy your own home.

[Steve Boyd]

Originally Posted by ShunterAlhena

Hi folks,
I moved into a new flat and my only complaint is that I can overhear the TV from downstairs. They must be listening to it really loudly, since I can't overhear my upstairs or side neighbors, and they most certainly have TVs too.
It is muted enough to be unintelligible. However, I have a mild form of noise anxiety and while I don't care about traffic noise or dogs barking, sadly TV and especially bass music can drive me nuts.

Steps I've taken:
- Tried connecting with them. I found out that they're nice people, but closed to new connections.
- Actively convincing myself that I'll be lifting weights above them, and since they'll tolerate my noise, I'll tolerate theirs.
- Will purchase loudspeakers and drown the noise out with my music. (Not as a form of revenge, I'll turn it on just loud enough to mask the TV.)

Question 1. How would you rate this issue? Does overhearing TV count as a common nuisance?

Question 2. Do you have any experience or suggestions about overcoming noise anxiety?

Thanks.

#1 - How late do have the TV on? 8pm is nowhere near as bad as 1am

[CroMagna]

Can't you just politely ask them to turn it down?

[LoudSilence]

I work from home and have neighbors that are often quite loud and there's no reasoning with them on anything. Very selfish, negative, rude people. I am thankful that their noise is usually restricted to daylight hours. I've learned some tricks that help me manage their noise when I'm working... Earplugs plus wireless headphones. I like hearos best (blues ones that have a higher decible rating), but you might like others better. There are often times when I can hear their noise even when I'm using the earplugs. So that's why I use the wireless headphones (connected to my stereo) that I wear with the earplugs and simply raise the volume to a low, comfortable hearing level and that really drowns out their noise. I experimented with a few things and I also bought a pair of ear protectors (the type that is used to protect hearing when at a shooting range). Sometimes I use those if my ears are sore from the earplugs. Not as good at drowning out the sound, but they help. Just remember to take off the wireless headphones or sound protection before going outside or your neighbors might mistake you for Princess Leah with the big round buns over your ears.