Happiness Checklist

[Joe826]

Whenever I'm having a bad day or am just off my game, I always have three questions I ask myself:

1.) Where am I trying to get happiness from? Deep down I know trying to find lasting happiness outside of myself is futile. If I'm pissed off because some guy cut me off, what I'm really feeling is that this guy is obligated to make me happy by fitting into my idea of what proper driving is. Sheer craziness. Being happy with what's inside, right now, is what's most important.

Usually this one helps me take the focus back in and I almost always see an improvement.

2.) Am I acting with love? This question really only works in conjunction with the first (for me, anyway). I find that it's a lot easier to love myself and be happy when I'm acting with love. Once I realize that happiness is not outside myself, I have no need for anything but love, really. I don't have anything left to prove, and love leaves no worry.

3.) Am I being a good receiver? Most people (including myself) struggle with feelings of unworthiness when it comes to money, love, and pretty much anything else. Instead of trying to convince myself that I am completely worthy, I just remind myself that the universe wants to hook me up wherever possible. It usually happens that I'm refusing gifts left and right without realizing it.

These work for me. I was wondering if anyone else had something similar they go through when they're having a bad day.

- Joe

[bellbird]

Hi Joe826, thanks for your post . Yes I have that too that I can get miffed sometimes for little reason and then go oh jeez not the grumpy reaction please. Try again ! (What's behind door number 3) I remind myself of all that I can be be grateful for and the bright future that lies ahead. I basically do what you do and acknowledge that all is well basically. It helps to ask aloud for what I would like to have help with to improve my situation and that of others I meet (like nice people to walk through the door when I'm working, I'm in retail.)

[belugagirl]

I agree, great thread! It's refreshing to see someone offering a solution to a common problem as opposed to posing a problem. (No offense to any of you problem posers out there. It's just nice to have a balance.)

I am trying to make a shift right now in this regard. When I was down about something, I used to try to focus on something that was going well or that I was grateful for. This was a great plan for a long time. The problem was: that thing is not permanent, and I could lose it. For example, if I'm grateful for my cozy little house, it might perk me up a bit, but then the thought enters my head: what if my house burns down someday? I AM grateful for my health, and I do enjoy it, but if I lean on that thought constantly, I may come to depend on it, and that will make it that much harder on me if I lose my health.

So . . . I've started to focus on my gratitude for my ability to fully enjoy many things. This I can never lose. If I lose one enjoyable thing, I still have the ABILITY to deeply enjoy many others. And this ability can bring me enjoyment and happiness at any time. If I'm driving, and someone cuts me off, I can focus on how much I enjoy looking at clouds. They're right there for me to enjoy at that moment! If I'm stressed out about some odious task, I can find comfort in the fact that I can enjoy a walk, the air, my good eyesight, food, the feel of my clothes on my skin . . . and these things can all be at hand. I have the ability to savor life and lots of little daily things in it. I can't lose that. And, it may be a rare gift.

My mom always chuckles at me when we go out for lunch together. Apparently, I get this hedonistically blissful look on my face when I'm savoring a bite of something I find particularly tasty (which for me is most food, really). She says she doesn't know anyone who enjoys food more than I do. It might be true. And I'm not elitist about my food pleasure. I can enjoy a well-made, perfectly crispy french fry as much as any fine gourmet concoction. Even though I might have something unpleasant on my mind in general, for that moment of holding the flavor in my mouth, that's all there is, and it is good.

This has worked well for me, and it makes me a more positive person overall. When I enjoy things, I talk about those things more, and maybe my ability to enjoy and appreciate things rubs off a little on those around me. I like to think so, anyway. It's nicer when I feel that I'm sharing.