Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Ghost Of · 06-30-2011, 06:38 PM

I consider it, but it would destroy my mother... I can only imagine her reaction if she would find me dead. WHY can I not take my own life if I want to??
Is this something I can talk to her about without freaking the hell out of her?

scotthegeek · 06-30-2011, 07:47 PM

I sorry to hear you don't want to live. I have gone through that a few times. I'm on anti depressant and they are helping. I really did want to live but I wanted the pain to stop.

I glad your talking about it here. I know when I'm feel like that logic and gilt don't seem help much it just push me away. I don't know your mother but I think she would want you to get help sometime it to much for family to deal with, just the fact your afraid that it might freak her out. I get the sense that you have trouble talking and get support you need.

I hope you keep on writing.

Hugs

Scott

The Cloud · 06-30-2011, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost Of

Is this something I can talk to her about without freaking the hell out of her?

Probably not, but don't take your life just because other people think it's the wrong thing to do. I've thought about it, too, but it doesn't make sense unless you're under tremendous and inescapable physical suffering. Psychological reasons aren't good enough, because there's always a possibility that you'll get over them. You, of all people, should know that.

Besides, nobody is going to take away your ability to kill yourself. You can always save it for when things are truly awful and never going to get better, so there's no reason not to hold it as your last resort. Think about all the less drastic measures that you're ignoring, like running away or speaking your mind even though other people might find it offensive. Is it really reasonable to consider death before you consider doing something you could fail at or that's socially unacceptable?

Mariana Trench · 06-30-2011, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost Of

I consider it, but it would destroy my mother... I can only imagine her reaction if she would find me dead. WHY can I not take my own life if I want to??
Is this something I can talk to her about without freaking the hell out of her?

That's really hard to say: mothers are different.

None of us here know your individual situation and most people on the internet aren't trained counselors, so it can be hard for people to give good advice. Whether talking to family members is a good idea or not really depends on a lot of individual circumstances, so I'd really recommend talking to a professional. Or at the very least, you can call a hotline like this: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - With Help Comes Hope.

VinceG · 06-30-2011, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost Of

Is this something I can talk to her about without freaking the hell out of her?

Hard to say, I think you should try anyway, though. You could start with, "have you ever thought about killing yourself?"

CroMagna · 06-30-2011, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost Of

I consider it, but it would destroy my mother... I can only imagine her reaction if she would find me dead. WHY can I not take my own life if I want to??
Is this something I can talk to her about without freaking the hell out of her?

I wouldn't tell her. It's good that you came here to talk about it. You can also call the Suicide Hotline like someone else said.

I've thought about it but I got over it and I'm in a better place now.

Why do you want to kill yourself?

ZephyrusX · 06-30-2011, 09:52 PM

You could try reframing the question and tell your mother that you are very sad and need someone to talk to. Again, like Mariana said, no one here can predict how your mother is going to respond. Outright telling someone that you feel like committing suicide might scare them though and they might panic. But who knows? May be she would be very understanding and cool about it. Either way, I think you ought to reach out to someone in real life. It might lead to something good. Your mother might offer to pay for visits to a psychologist, if that is something you would find helpful. Keeping things bottled up inside, on the other hand, just makes things worse as it increases the sense of isolation and it prevents the possibility of good opportunities arising.

CroMagna · 06-30-2011, 10:22 PM

^^ This is real life. You meant offline

ZephyrusX · 06-30-2011, 11:46 PM

Yes, this is real life and 'speaking to someone offline and in person' would have been a better choice of words.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CroMagna

^^ This is real life. You meant offline

taylor · 06-30-2011, 11:54 PM

I've talked to my mother about suicide before. It just hurts her feelings. I can't imagine if I actually took my life, she'd probably never recover. Doesn't matter how bad it could get, how can I do that to my family?

My dad said he never thought about suicide because he always knew if things got bad he could just get up, move, and start a whole new life somewhere else.

FelineNostalgia · 07-01-2011, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost Of

I consider it, but it would destroy my mother... I can only imagine her reaction if she would find me dead. WHY can I not take my own life if I want to??
Is this something I can talk to her about without freaking the hell out of her?

I think when a mother knows that their child wants to kill themselves some sort of biological panic sets in.

You need to fight what's draining you, even if it means making needlessly drastic changes to make you feel more alive.

I'm sorry to hear you feel this way, I felt that way for a long time, you don't need too, so don't give up.

Examine the root of the problem and kick it's ass.

Clint Cora · 07-01-2011, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost Of

I consider it, but it would destroy my mother... I can only imagine her reaction if she would find me dead. WHY can I not take my own life if I want to??
Is this something I can talk to her about without freaking the hell out of her?

You are most certainly right about the impact on your mother. My mother took her own life and the effects on the rest of our family members as well as relatives will be life long. Suicide does not affect just one person, it affects everyone else around for the rest of their lives.

If I were you, I would talk to professionals who are qualified to deal with the issues you are experiencing and your mom would not likely be a qualified pro (correct me if she is in the field).

I think you already know this but perhaps you have to read this for confirmation -- if you are already having suicidal thoughts, you won't get the answers here online. You need to see a health professional immediately who can also set you up with a local support group to talk to. Such issues that you have seldom can be dealt with effectively on your own without professional assistance nor is successful by just hanging out online. Do the right thing and get local professional help.

Good luck to you.

justanumber · 07-02-2011, 11:29 AM

this is a decision that i am now very close to making. in fact,there is a thread somewhere around here started by me. i do not know what your problems are,but you do have a mother. this is the most difficult decision that anyone will ever have to make. for me,i am very mentally sick and all alone without anybody. i have always been a coward,but now,i have come to the realization that my best choice will be to cease to exist instead of suffering each day. you really have to think about it. you should say what problems you have..these people here will give you good advise. just hope that you will never end up like me. there is no advice in this world that will change me. good luck.

CroMagna · 07-02-2011, 04:49 PM

^^ why do you want to kill yourself? what is your mental illness?

gene2009 · 07-02-2011, 08:28 PM

I thought about it one time 7 or 8 years ago, but when i was going to do it i was picked up a thought - What the hell i do

why now, why

I put a side that stupid idea. And i've never returned to it. Simple, i could do it in any time and this fact kept me out to do it. Look around, i'm sure many people have a worse life than you but they try to be happy anyway. Just put aside that idea for now, mate.

neilpage · 07-02-2011, 08:40 PM

I'm sorry to hear you don't want to live.

yes' I understand what no desire to live feels like. Its' just feelings!
I HOPE TIME WILL PASS TO ALLOW YOU TO FEEL BETTER DAYS AHEAD.
PS........Please don't kill your self.

sharshar89 · 07-05-2011, 03:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost Of

I consider it, but it would destroy my mother... I can only imagine her reaction if she would find me dead. WHY can I not take my own life if I want to??
Is this something I can talk to her about without freaking the hell out of her?

You can take your own life if you want to..nobody dictates it..but then only use it when you know you are totally gone, irrecoverable, severely mentally ill, in excruciating pain for a long period of time and nothing seem to change..

Why would you want to tell your mother if you really wanted to die?wouldnt that spoil the plan?you are quite contradictory

wstein · 07-05-2011, 05:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CroMagna

^^ why do you want to kill yourself? what is your mental illness?

go read the other thread and post this there

ginkgo · 07-05-2011, 05:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost Of

I consider it, but it would destroy my mother... I can only imagine her reaction if she would find me dead. WHY can I not take my own life if I want to??
Is this something I can talk to her about without freaking the hell out of her?

It would be a great shortcut if it worked. You do not need anyone's permission. It would be great to end all your suffering. Since it does not work, Buddha had to search and find the way to end all suffering. See you can kill your body but your conciousness is there and you will still suffer.

Have you heard of Socrates? He is considered the father of Western thinking. He taught that the most important thing in life is the immortal soul. Sorry, but you cannot kill it. He said "Know Thyself." That is how you end all suffering by learning about your true self.

Do you think that people are born to do stuff and then die? What is the purpose of that? But it is to find their eternal self that is beyond all suffering. So killing yourself will not stop the pain.
Words of Peace Global

You need to find your true self to end your suffering. The true self is infinitely happy and cannot suffer.

Why does anyone suffer? What is the purpose? It is to motivate them to discover their true self. That is the only way out of suffering.

richest · 07-05-2011, 06:44 AM

I'm really sure suicide is not what you really want. What you want is to get out from your problem. And suicide is not the option, it's runaway syndrome.

Ask your self, what do you really want behind the desire of suicide?

carolynggme · 11-07-2011, 03:50 AM

I will give you a mirror image of your dilemma. You are young, I am old. I want to sign out for various reasons, & have tried a couple times. The mistake I made was telling my daughters. I failed in my attempts & now they hold me in vast contempt. I hope you find a way to work it out. Remember, life is what happens when you have other plans.

cheesedip1 · 11-07-2011, 04:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carolynggme

. Remember, life is what happens when you have other plans.

What do you mean?

sharshar89 · 11-07-2011, 05:52 AM

I feel like that as well..seems like everything has not gone according to my liking for a very long time and I'm just pretending I'm ok..I jus hope one day I won't wake up

sharshar89 · 11-07-2011, 05:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FelineNostalgia

I think when a mother knows that their child wants to kill themselves some sort of biological panic sets in.

You need to fight what's draining you, even if it means making needlessly drastic changes to make you feel more alive.

I'm sorry to hear you feel this way, I felt that way for a long time, you don't need too, so don't give up.

Examine the root of the problem and kick it's ass.

How do one fight when one is drained?its like a totally exhausted soldier on a battlefield.unlikely to succeed

RonSouther · 11-08-2011, 06:02 AM

My mom killed herself. I am sure she did it as a way to kill her problems. It worked but created problems for her loved ones.

In that lies a paradox. Logically to her mind, death equaled a way to end her problems. Her logic didn't see how many problems she left behind.

If you want to regain you love of life, you have to take back you life from your mind. Your mind is fatiguing you with a negative self image, with self-desctructive problems, and so on. You problem in life is a lack of understanding about who you really are and what life it. Both you and life are amazing miracles!! But who can even see that when riddled with so many issues.

My mom didn't have a source of profound perspective to help her grow from ignorance to intelligence. I have thought of dying too, not because i hate life but because I'm looking at another 50 years of being a slave to my body. It's perfectly normal to think of death as a way out but just remember thats a statement of logic and life is not logical. You can find your way out...life really is beautiful....for me its beautiful when i can flow authentically as my true self and not feel self conscious.

Andrew Gubb · 11-08-2011, 09:07 AM

Yeah, I'd recommend talking to a professional.

If you really know this is the right thing for you, I'd say that you shouldn't let other people's feelings hold you back in your path. I'd say that for anything, though suicide is a whole different level. You have to be sure this is the right thing, it's not a decision that can be taken lightly. Though I guess you know that.

Your mother will be sad, but in the end I guess she has to trust you and be happy for you if what you've done is for your highest good. Not that she necessarily will be happy for you or trust you, but if she can't find forgiveness in her heart, that would then be her growth challenge and not yours.

RonSouther · 11-08-2011, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

Yeah, I'd recommend talking to a professional.

If you really know this is the right thing for you, I'd say that you shouldn't let other people's feelings hold you back in your path. I'd say that for anything, though suicide is a whole different level. You have to be sure this is the right thing, it's not a decision that can be taken lightly. Though I guess you know that.

Your mother will be sad, but in the end I guess she has to trust you and be happy for you if what you've done is for your highest good. Not that she necessarily will be happy for you or trust you, but if she can't find forgiveness in her heart, that would then be her growth challenge and not yours.

That's really well said!

From my personal experience with my mom's suicide, with friends that were suicidal I think to get attention and from my own waking up process where I've often wished my life would end, i sincerely believe that if the desire to kill oneself is a logical idea to stop one's problems, that if he can see the source of his problems, ignorance of life, then he can find a path out of ignorance and into intelligence. Life is innately mysterious and beautiful so life isn't the problem. The problem is a lack of awareness and that can be fixed.

The painter Vincent Van Gogh committed suicide, not because he was fed up with life but because he realized his potential in life and, so fulfilled, he was ready to move on. He didn't see any reason to keep the body alive when spiritually he had fulfilled his calling, so he punched out.

In the end life is life as Andrew said beautifully. It continually offers us challenges to grow. I miss my mom and wished she hadn't given up. I wish she would've come to realize what I have but I know that her suicide did force me to reflect on life and that became part of my waking up. Andrew's words ring true with my life experience.

Just please don't use words to rationalize suicide. That becomes a game of logic and if you find the right catchy thought, you may actually try to kill yourself while you are infatuated with the thought. Suicide really hurts people terribly. Turn your confusion into a question, into a quest to figure this life out! :-).

What you will find out is that the ego needs to die, not the body.

lironil · 11-08-2011, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost Of

I consider it, but it would destroy my mother... I can only imagine her reaction if she would find me dead. WHY can I not take my own life if I want to??
Is this something I can talk to her about without freaking the hell out of her?

Darling I know how you feel. I've attempted suicide before. What I did though eventually was I wrote a letter to my mom, not a suicide letter, just a letter explaining how I feel. How sometimes I don't want to live.. putting it all out into words when I was in such a state of crying and wanting to end it all did help me feel a little better at the time. I put the letter by my mom's room so she read it in the morning. I'm glad I did that, she didn't pressure me but made me realize asking for help isn't a bad thing, if anything it's the stronger thing to do and I'm proud of myself for all the therapy I went through. There were times after I felt that way again, but I learnt from therapy that while the professional did help me, it's talking about things that help the most. Being open, asking anyone close to you to listen. Whether it's a friend of a family member or heck, as online forum. Write your problems, talk about them. Even if people can't give you tips it's letting things out that helps.

Nowadays I feel down at times but even in the past month that's been one of the hardest I've ever been through, I've never done to that dark place again. Knowing where I've been before and where I am now makes me really proud of myself and I wish every person who goes through times like this would get to have this feeling too.

Merrick1 · 11-08-2011, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

Your mother will be sad, but in the end I guess she has to trust you and be happy for you if what you've done is for your highest good.

Highest good? Are you serious Andrew?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

Not that she necessarily will be happy for you or trust you, but if she can't find forgiveness in her heart, that would then be her growth challenge and not yours.

Oh no, there would be a challenge for her, yes, but for you as well. Life is sacred. We have no right to take it arbitrarily just because we are not able to make any sense of it or because we want to avoid learning.

Merrick

IvyW · 11-08-2011, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost Of

I consider it, but it would destroy my mother... I can only imagine her reaction if she would find me dead. WHY can I not take my own life if I want to??
Is this something I can talk to her about without freaking the hell out of her?

get some help

join a gym & take all your emotions out on the weights.. working out is a natural antidepressant

06-30-2011, 06:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
Ghost Of Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 10	Considering Suicide I consider it, but it would destroy my mother... I can only imagine her reaction if she would find me dead. WHY can I not take my own life if I want to?? Is this something I can talk to her about without freaking the hell out of her?

06-30-2011, 07:47 PM	#2 (permalink)
scotthegeek Family Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Windsor Ontario Canada Posts: 1,115	I sorry to hear you don't want to live. I have gone through that a few times. I'm on anti depressant and they are helping. I really did want to live but I wanted the pain to stop. I glad your talking about it here. I know when I'm feel like that logic and gilt don't seem help much it just push me away. I don't know your mother but I think she would want you to get help sometime it to much for family to deal with, just the fact your afraid that it might freak her out. I get the sense that you have trouble talking and get support you need. I hope you keep on writing. Hugs Scott Last edited by scotthegeek; 06-30-2011 at 07:54 PM.

11-07-2011, 03:50 AM	#21 (permalink)
carolynggme Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Charlotte, NC, USA Posts: 6	suicide's impact I will give you a mirror image of your dilemma. You are young, I am old. I want to sign out for various reasons, & have tried a couple times. The mistake I made was telling my daughters. I failed in my attempts & now they hold me in vast contempt. I hope you find a way to work it out. Remember, life is what happens when you have other plans.

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06-30-2011, 09:52 PM	#7 (permalink)
ZephyrusX Banned Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 4,885	You could try reframing the question and tell your mother that you are very sad and need someone to talk to. Again, like Mariana said, no one here can predict how your mother is going to respond. Outright telling someone that you feel like committing suicide might scare them though and they might panic. But who knows? May be she would be very understanding and cool about it. Either way, I think you ought to reach out to someone in real life. It might lead to something good. Your mother might offer to pay for visits to a psychologist, if that is something you would find helpful. Keeping things bottled up inside, on the other hand, just makes things worse as it increases the sense of isolation and it prevents the possibility of good opportunities arising.

06-30-2011, 10:22 PM	#8 (permalink)
CroMagna Family Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,975	^^ This is real life. You meant offline

06-30-2011, 11:54 PM	#10 (permalink)
taylor Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 1,827	I've talked to my mother about suicide before. It just hurts her feelings. I can't imagine if I actually took my life, she'd probably never recover. Doesn't matter how bad it could get, how can I do that to my family? My dad said he never thought about suicide because he always knew if things got bad he could just get up, move, and start a whole new life somewhere else.

07-02-2011, 11:29 AM	#13 (permalink)
justanumber Banned Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 31	this is a decision that i am now very close to making. in fact,there is a thread somewhere around here started by me. i do not know what your problems are,but you do have a mother. this is the most difficult decision that anyone will ever have to make. for me,i am very mentally sick and all alone without anybody. i have always been a coward,but now,i have come to the realization that my best choice will be to cease to exist instead of suffering each day. you really have to think about it. you should say what problems you have..these people here will give you good advise. just hope that you will never end up like me. there is no advice in this world that will change me. good luck.

07-02-2011, 04:49 PM	#14 (permalink)
CroMagna Family Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,975	^^ why do you want to kill yourself? what is your mental illness?

07-02-2011, 08:28 PM	#15 (permalink)
gene2009 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 390	I thought about it one time 7 or 8 years ago, but when i was going to do it i was picked up a thought - What the hell i do why now, why I put a side that stupid idea. And i've never returned to it. Simple, i could do it in any time and this fact kept me out to do it. Look around, i'm sure many people have a worse life than you but they try to be happy anyway. Just put aside that idea for now, mate.

07-02-2011, 08:40 PM	#16 (permalink)
neilpage Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Maryland Posts: 288	I'm sorry to hear you don't want to live. yes' I understand what no desire to live feels like. Its' just feelings! I HOPE TIME WILL PASS TO ALLOW YOU TO FEEL BETTER DAYS AHEAD. PS........Please don't kill your self.

07-05-2011, 06:44 AM	#20 (permalink)
richest Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Within Posts: 119	I'm really sure suicide is not what you really want. What you want is to get out from your problem. And suicide is not the option, it's runaway syndrome. Ask your self, what do you really want behind the desire of suicide?

11-07-2011, 05:52 AM	#23 (permalink)
sharshar89 Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 285	I feel like that as well..seems like everything has not gone according to my liking for a very long time and I'm just pretending I'm ok..I jus hope one day I won't wake up

11-08-2011, 06:02 AM	#25 (permalink)
RonSouther Family Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 1,400	My mom killed herself. I am sure she did it as a way to kill her problems. It worked but created problems for her loved ones. In that lies a paradox. Logically to her mind, death equaled a way to end her problems. Her logic didn't see how many problems she left behind. If you want to regain you love of life, you have to take back you life from your mind. Your mind is fatiguing you with a negative self image, with self-desctructive problems, and so on. You problem in life is a lack of understanding about who you really are and what life it. Both you and life are amazing miracles!! But who can even see that when riddled with so many issues. My mom didn't have a source of profound perspective to help her grow from ignorance to intelligence. I have thought of dying too, not because i hate life but because I'm looking at another 50 years of being a slave to my body. It's perfectly normal to think of death as a way out but just remember thats a statement of logic and life is not logical. You can find your way out...life really is beautiful....for me its beautiful when i can flow authentically as my true self and not feel self conscious.

11-08-2011, 09:07 AM	#26 (permalink)
Andrew Gubb Family Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Nationality: British Soul: Otherworldly Current Location: Barcelona, Spain Posts: 5,960	Yeah, I'd recommend talking to a professional. If you really know this is the right thing for you, I'd say that you shouldn't let other people's feelings hold you back in your path. I'd say that for anything, though suicide is a whole different level. You have to be sure this is the right thing, it's not a decision that can be taken lightly. Though I guess you know that. Your mother will be sad, but in the end I guess she has to trust you and be happy for you if what you've done is for your highest good. Not that she necessarily will be happy for you or trust you, but if she can't find forgiveness in her heart, that would then be her growth challenge and not yours.

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