Always being happy

[Haurum]

I'm 20 years old, started my personal development very intense when i was about 15 or 16 (it started with 7 habits of highly effective people). I can now say that i'm always happy, and literally have been it for a couple of years. I only know 1 guy who says he's the same way, accidentally one of my best friends. Everybody except him tells me that i'm lying and that's impossible. I would really like to know, how many of you is always happy?

[Paul C]

That's great to hear!

And i'm not too surprised that many consider your constant cheer to be put-on or fake. It's hard when trying to understand something from the outside looking in.

I started my self development at roughly about the same time as well. Although in doing so I noticed that it was very uncommon and mostly discouraged.

[Antarananda]

I personally would like to first qualify the word "happy" vis-a-vis a state of mind that I usually refer to as "bliss". Now, in my personal experience through meditation practice over the past 15 years, I believe it is humanly impossible to be "happy all the time", because happiness/sadness are the classic pairs of opposites. There is no happiness without sadness, no pleasure without pain. It is the nature of the mind to swing between emotions of happiness/sadness, and contrary to what we believe so strongly, happiness is not "good" and pain "bad".

I don't think I am necessarily better off if I only rarely experience pain, because I have trained myself (and continue to do so) to become a witness to all emotions, "positive" and "negative" that ebb and flow in the mind. Through this process of witnessing, one achieves a state of equanimity, and that is what I call joy, or bliss. This bliss is the underlying reality no matter what dominant emotion surfaces in our consciousness; the state of true joy which is unshakeable, and the more I learn to remain connected with this "gap" between rising thoughts and emotions and impulses to react in my mind, the less I find myself swinging unconsciously between happiness and sadness. That to me is true emotional mastery.

[Jill]

I'm generally almost always happy. But ************ does happen, and it's difficult to remain completely happy during those times. I try my best to not focus too much on the bad stuff, and get past it as quickly as possible, then move on and be happy again.

[helgi]

Originally Posted by Antarananda

Through this process of witnessing, one achieves a state of equanimity, and that is what I call joy, or bliss. This bliss is the underlying reality no matter what dominant emotion surfaces in our consciousness; the state of true joy which is unshakeable, and the more I learn to remain connected with this "gap" between rising thoughts and emotions and impulses to react in my mind, the less I find myself swinging unconsciously between happiness and sadness.

That pretty much sums it up of how I experience it.

Over a period of about 3-4 years, the swings between happiness and unhappiness have lessened, almost to a point now where I would say that nothing really makes me happy or unhappy anymore; that is, there is very little energy behind the polarity movements in my emotional state, and an almost continuous feeling of deep peace in the background.

I would even say, however strange it may sound, that it is more conducive to my inner peace now when so-called bad things happen than when good things happen. When something breaks or goes wrong in my life, the feeling of inner peace tends to intensify, but when something good happens there is more chance of me getting lost in it, getting "high" on it, and then experiencing a corresponding low.

[Dating Specialist]

Technically speaking it is possible to stay happy most of the time, because happiness is a state of the mind. It should not hinge on some prerequisites before we allow ourselves to be happy. (eg I'll be happy if I earn a million dollars, if I buy that designer bag/shoe, if I gain recognition etc)

If we tell ourselves we will only be happy when we reach our goals, then we are telling our mind that we won't be happy yet until we reach our destination. But irony is most of the times we won't be truly happy when we do achieve the outcome, or that happiness won't sustain past 10 minutes because we aren't enjoying the process! We are not happy going towards our goal!

It's a matter of choice too. If you choose to remain in that state, then you will be happy. When we choose to be happy, it indirectly affects the way we look at things and handle situations posititively. A happy person views problems as challenges while an unhappy person views challenges as problems that will never go away.

[annie]

I'm always happy.................except when I'm in a REALLY BAD MOOD!


so yeah.....don't count me in on this...

[Andrew Brunelle]

Always happy...no....mostly happy....yes. There are times when I get mad, but then I just think how absurd it is for me to be mad, so I'm happy again. I just burst out laughing, in public. I could be depressed about extranal circumstances, but then I realize I can change them, so I just laugh at them. Then I fix them.

[helgi]

I do still have bouts of negativity, but with ever lessening frequency and intensity. Usually what happens when I have a low these days, it's either because I allowed myself to get lost in thought, which usually leads to trying to derive satisfaction from something "out there," or when I've been around very negative people and my level of consciousness has dropped low enough for the reactive patterns to gain traction.

It's a bit like weight training, in that with every cycle of getting lost and finding your way back again, the awareness/consciousness muscle is strengthened.

And to prattle on and on about this, there is an interesting thing about the process of getting lost and finding your way back, which is the tendency to overshoot the mark so to speak. To go from an intense low to an intense high, and never stopping for long at the peaceful balance in between. When you look at the two extremes, both are really just different aspects of suffering that only look positive and negative on the surface.

I always visualize an elastic string, stretched between two posts, that you pull down, release and watch how it swings up and down, finally coming to a rest in the middle. It is really no more at ease in the up-position than the down-position, and can only ever rest when it has stopped swinging.

[jpletting]

I LOVE some of the imagery and metaphors in this thread! Emotional mastery is something I am FAR from achieving, but I do find myself more at peace with each new day. I think I may just build myself a tiny model of that rubberband oscilloscope to remind me to find that easy, balanced medium. Thanks!

[Radical]

Although happiness is a state of mind, I still think your life situation has some control over your happiness. Not all of us want to meditate our lives away, deluding ourselves that everything is perfect.

[songwriter]

I have periods when I've been always happy. Not now. For instance when I'm been in love. But not neccesarily in love to be always happy.

I think it sometimes depends if you want something you don't have or not. Unhappiness can become happiness if you accept it. If you stop wanting things you may be feel happy (the Buddist say that desire is the cause for suffering)... but you can't live being stuck in a situation and not wanting nothing more... I guess.

[JohnnyJimJams]

Originally Posted by helgi

I do still have bouts of negativity, but with ever lessening frequency and intensity. Usually what happens when I have a low these days, it's either because I allowed myself to get lost in thought, which usually leads to trying to derive satisfaction from something "out there," or when I've been around very negative people and my level of consciousness has dropped low enough for the reactive patterns to gain traction.

It's a bit like weight training, in that with every cycle of getting lost and finding your way back again, the awareness/consciousness muscle is strengthened.

And to prattle on and on about this, there is an interesting thing about the process of getting lost and finding your way back, which is the tendency to overshoot the mark so to speak. To go from an intense low to an intense high, and never stopping for long at the peaceful balance in between. When you look at the two extremes, both are really just different aspects of suffering that only look positive and negative on the surface.

I always visualize an elastic string, stretched between two posts, that you pull down, release and watch how it swings up and down, finally coming to a rest in the middle. It is really no more at ease in the up-position than the down-position, and can only ever rest when it has stopped swinging.

Spot on. The more I develop, the more I read, the more I practice, the better I become at returning to a state of peace (even as short as it may be).

[Andy]

After I started getting into subjective reality and EFT around June/July I can easily say I've become progressively happier, both in terms of duration and "quality" if that means anything. I find it's mostly a result of getting rid of the negative junk that was pulling me down. And the more I get rid of there's less and less that can make me unhappy/stressed out.

[Athena]

this is a great question.

I've always been generally quite happy, but over the past year or so, with personal development literature and understanding psychology better, etc, it's much easier understand and to float over small events that would have previously brought me down or made me sad. so now without those little dips into unnecessary distress, it's easier to extend and maintain that state of happiness.

I'm now reconditioning a lot of 'millisecond' reflexive thoughts (nlp-style perhaps) for things in daily life, to maintain a smoother channel of thought in that realm.


does anyone have extended periods where they are so happy they want to scream with joy!!?? I have those quite often. so funny.
when I'm in the right place and in flow, things are absolutely blissful.


ALSO btw- it's interesting to see how things and events can be interpreted so differently when we're in different states of mind. I'm finding that TRUTH is more discenible and and clearer interpretations come more easily when we're in a happy state of mind.
when we're sad or depressed, things become distorted, and sometimes it can be a vicious cycle. it's good to understand those states of mind hierarchically (like Power vs Force) and see that truth and clarity comes more easily in the higher states of mind.

[Trina]

I can say that I am always happy. I still feel emotions like frustration and anger, but that doesn't mean I am not happy. I am living my life doing what I love with someone I love, and that makes me happy even when roadblocks arise. I don't think that being happy and feeling sadness are mutually exclusive.

[transcendence]

Originally Posted by Radical

Although happiness is a state of mind, I still think your life situation has some control over your happiness. Not all of us want to meditate our lives away, deluding ourselves that everything is perfect.

In my somewhat limited experience of meditation, it is about searching for understanding and a greater connection with your body / mind. Through this understanding you can gain a sense of peace / wellbeing. It has nothing to do with creating something out of nothing or delusion, quite the opposite in fact.

[Kindred]

I'm always happy to be alive, to live in such a prosperous time of technological, intellectual, and spiritual development. Whenever I think about the chances of being here today my mind is blown, and that alone puts a blissful smile on my face at any time and makes me feel at peace with the universe.

I think waking up feeling that way, and falling asleep that way it's safe to say everyday is a happy day for me. The short downs only make the long ups better don't they?

[Lychee]

Happiness attracts success, right?

How can you be happy when all things in your life seem to be going wrong?

[Michael Chui]

You've got cause and effect mixed up, Lychee.

Your first question states: "If you are happy, then you will attract success."
Your second question states: "If everything is going wrong, then you can't be happy."

Bit of a vicious cycle, no?

[Lychee]

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

You've got cause and effect mixed up, Lychee.

Your first question states: "If you are happy, then you will attract success."
Your second question states: "If everything is going wrong, then you can't be happy."

Bit of a vicious cycle, no?

So you have to be happy within to see success without.

[Zulu]

Neato, I was wondering if someone was going to start a thread like this.

I'd say I'm happy about 95% of the time. I do get sad occasionally and it takes me 5minutes-a few hours to snap out of it.

[Jill]

Originally Posted by Trina

I can say that I am always happy. I still feel emotions like frustration and anger, but that doesn't mean I am not happy. I am living my life doing what I love with someone I love, and that makes me happy even when roadblocks arise. I don't think that being happy and feeling sadness are mutually exclusive.

I feel much the same way!

[placebo]

Originally Posted by Lychee

Happiness attracts success, right?

How can you be happy when all things in your life seem to be going wrong?

When everything seems to be wrong you have to show your strength. Then all these things are going to fit in their place, and that order is one that makes you happy.

Here's a little story about my friend that inspires me when i'm feeling down.
We'were 14 years old, always having fun, playing basketball together, playing video games. We were inseperable. And then one day, it was last day of summer before going to school again, he got sick. Week after that it got even worse. He had leucemia. It was event that changed us for life.
It's so hard watching your best friend looking like captive in WW 2. He lost his hair and weight but he never lost optimism. He always believed that he's going to be fine again, he never told a single sentence about the end. And he was pretty close to end few times.

It's been around 8 years since that. He's going to collegge, living normal life and simply small and irelevant things can't affect his mood. He is my hero.

[RT Wolf]

^ Inspiring tale.

I've always been an optimist. Recently, the optimism has become more mature, as I gain perspective on events. What seems like the biggest crushing defeat in my life, isn't gonna matter in a few years. Barring unforseen circumstances, I'll likely like to be very old, maybe even 100.

Back in high school, this guy I used to call my friend chewed me out for being too happy. Good times.

[Pooka]

When I was fifteen, I met someone who told me that she had decided when she was a teenager that she was going to be happy. She managed it, too-- I never saw her be less than positive, encouraging, and joyful. It took me a few years to internalize, but now I'm trying to live that way, too.

Lately I've found myself writing in my journal things like 'by old standards, today would be a terrible day, but I'm still happy...' and 'I'm ecstatic and I have no real reason to be.' I'm learning to get my emotions from inside, rather than out. To someone older and more enlightened, it might seem pretty basic, but it's a huge breakthrough for me.

On the stranger end of the spectrum: since I decided to live a happy life, my intuition works far better, and I've found I experience far more synchronicties. Has anyone else experienced this? Perhaps it has to do with the 'happiness attracts success' principle, but at a different level.

[RT Wolf]

^ That realization is one that many people never gain. And many times, not in its totality.

[maryelyn]

well, yesterday's gone (isn't that the name of a song? hmm...) and tomorrow never arrives - but i know i'm happy now!

[Gautam]

I'm an extremist in terms of my emotional dealings. Someone ealier mentioned the analogy of an elastic string stretched at both ends and then swinging up and down once pulled back. The state of balance is described as the time when the string comes to a complete rest.

Now I would add to this analogy further in saying that the length of the string and the amount it is stretched play a major role. The longer the string, the further and longer it swings up and down, whereas the shorter string attains balance much faster.

I guess time makes all our strings shorter automatically but consiousness can also help in the process if one chooses to. I think I'm a pretty tall string right now, I'm working on being level-headed and emotionally controlled. I'm much better now at 21 than when I was last year or when I was 17. I've noticed one prevelant trait among the wise, that is they have a LOT of control over their emotions.

[Alexocelix]

Hello everybody. I am recovering from a panic attack bought about by gradually mounting negative thoughts from an early age. Essentially I ended up being scared of being alive and boom, huge panic attack.

Now the effects of panic attacks are not nice, the feeling of loss of control, questioning yours thoughts and life. Safe to say I am starting to see and accept what caused the panic and anxiety in my life, and use it to finally achieve calm and peace, so I can live the life I never could while being under the cloud.

This post caught my attention. In trying to find calmness, I am experiencing big swings, huge anxious lows, and highs when I think I will be fine from here on..

I am learning to deal with the lows of anxiety, but feeling too happy is a relatively new problem, and I quickly became scared I was developing a superiority complex as a result of feeling so aware. Is it wrong to want myself to become happy - ie - is this fuelling my ego and thus prolonging the delusion, or is this just anxiety talking? Or is calmness the true goal of everyone?

Edit: I guess what I'm asking for advice for is, I'm trying to grow from a pessimist into an optimist. However, as an optimist how do I know that what I do in life isn't just riding a huge ego? Or is it a case of remaining level headed both ways? Can you achieve anything in life without guilt?