Sarcasm

[supermighty]

I was listening to Steve's first podcast and at one point he says that he worked on overcoming his negativity and sarcasm. In my own life I've identified friends that I wanted to hang out with less because they were super sarcastic. I saw that the amount of sarcasm I let them bring into my life was not healthy. I was telling a friend recently that I wanted to not be so sarcastic all the time, and she asked me if I would stop joking around. It made me think about the level of sarcasm in my life and wonder if removing all sarcasm from my life is a good thing? Can we have a healthy amount in our lives, or should it all be removed?


SM

[Shamou]

Sarcasm can be funny... and it can be cruel... if you use sarcasm in a funny way and no one gets hurt... I would say, "why not"... however, using sarcasm as a "put down" is a "no, no" in my book...

.

[shesaboutspirit]

I agree with Shamou.

Sarcasm is something that I grew up with as a normal way of relating. It wasn't until the last several years that I even realized how destructive this can be. I think it can be light and funny...as in Seinfeld humor. What I continue to work on however is the tendency in myself to hide anger and resentment behind a facade of "humor". It can really prevent true communication when the sarcastic person doesn't even realize they may be behaving in a passive aggressive way. Believe me, I know this first hand. It's taking continued self monitoring to discover this in myself. Sometimes its so passive as to almost be missed. I believe the person on the other end gets it though...and feels the sting.

Great question and always good to look within for deeper understanding.

Blessings,
Pam

[Lucas]

Sarcasm can be hilarious, but like anyhumor/literaty tool..its lame if used wrong or too much.

[supermighty]

I guess like most things sarcasm is bad in excess, and not so bad in moderation.

[Akashic_Librarian]

Oh sarcasm is bad... DUUHHH I never would have guessed that...congratulations *claps slowly*










Sorry, couldn't resist

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Akashic_Librarian

Oh sarcasm is bad... DUUHHH I never would have guessed that...congratulations *claps slowly*
Sorry, couldn't resist

The perfect spot for you...














...sorry, I could not resist....

.

[shesaboutspirit]

I also notice that many people I've talked to over the years about this topic have a different idea of what sarcasm is. I think some folks just consider it humor and don't see it as negative.

Here's the Webster definition:

1 : a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain <tired of continual sarcasms>
2 a : a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual b : the use or language of sarcasm <this is no time to indulge in sarcasm>


That was also how I perceived it growing up...a verbal jab, veiled as "teasing". In my mind, teasing implies that it's fun for everyone.

It can be a bad habit if one isn't mindful of this...and like I said, I'm still working on this one myself

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by shesaboutspirit

That was also how I perceived it growing up...a verbal jab, veiled as "teasing". In my mind, teasing implies that it's fun for everyone.

It can be a bad habit if one isn't mindful of this...and like I said, I'm still working on this one myself

One thing that I try to remind myself is that the hurt or sting caused by a caustic remark can last a lifetime... so, for me... it's a "no, no" for all those who are dear and near to me...

...however... for the rest of you guys...

.

[introspective1]

It seems to me that most people only use sarcasm to make someone else feel "small". I often HATE the way it is used and sometimes i will use it to strike back at someone who uses it against me. Sarcasm does hurt

[CameronS]

I agree. Sarcasm seems harmless at first glance, but it can get out of hand when it's used to belittle someone.

[InJoy]

Originally Posted by shesaboutspirit

Here's the Webster definition:

1 : a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain <tired of continual sarcasms>
2 a : a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual b : the use or language of sarcasm <this is no time to indulge in sarcasm>

Based on those definitions, (with the possible exception of irony) I can see no constructive use for sarcasm.

I think that sarcasm can be perceived as mean a whole lot more often than people think or intend it to. Certainly YMMV, but the show Seinfeld, for me, was intolerably unkind. I never felt better or more loving or compassionate or happier after watching it. So I stopped.

In a LoA sense, I think it can do even more harm than hurting others who hear it. LoA would suggest (and I have experienced) that sarcasm can harm the sayer as well. In my case, heavy use of sarcasm made me think more negatively as a habit. As a minor example, when there was a beautiful sunset (something often magnificent where I live) I'd often say, "Hey guys! Ugly sunset alert!" On some level, that did affect my appreciation for the sunset for the worst. When I changed my language to the more positive, I found that those same sunsets had more brilliance for me. I felt better.

I still slip up and use sarcasm sometimes, but it's something I've been putting real energy on changing about myself.

[KeithHandy]

Old, dead thread that I found by accident...

Anyway, I think it depends what's underneath. There's the sneering kind, where you ridicule someone's ambition. Then there's the giggly, shared, "we both survived a similar idiocy" kind, which is kind of empowering.

It's like laughter. You can laugh for real, where you're releasing tension and feeling good, or you can "laugh at", which is contrived.

[rrandolph]

I feel it all comes down to whether you have an open heart chakra or closed heart chakra.

With an open heart, you love and accept all of life, the good or the bad. If it's bad you may use a playful sarcasm, which is really just a unique way of appreciating the "bad."

With a closed heart, you resist and criticise all of life, the good or the bad. Sarcasm becomes an outlet for your expression of anger, frustration and fear.

Here is a post that I wrote about that talks about something similar:

How to Transform Frustration into Power | Yang Town

[positivityhub]

I don't think we need to completely weed sarcasm completely from our life. Like all of the other posters have said, sarcasm can be good fun or it can be used as a put down.
You will be the best judge. Don't stop joking around. But you will be able to identify what is healthy and what is not.

[TheFlyingMan]

Heh, I agree - it all depends on the meaning / intention. If you don't have a honed sense of humor, better not use it, it could be taken the wrong way.

On the other hand, if you are hurt by sarcasm, then it's not really the other person's fault. There is something in you, an open wound, that is already there to be hurt by it.

If someone said your hair is hideous because it's green, you wouldn't care (assuming it isn't green). But if you had some insecurity about your hair, that underneath the blonde or the black or the whatever, it might be green, that's why it hurts.

Find that wound, find that insecurity. Welcome it, love it. Feel it completely, until it no longer hurts. Then everything else just falls of you like the proverbial water off a duck.

The elusive key to emotional mastery: Is it really that simple? » Personal Development - The Urban Monk

[Amatrine]

I use sarcasim to bring a good side to an otherwise not so good situation.
The problem, though, is my sense of humor is on the macob side, and
people that do not know me may take it seriouse. So only around freinds and those that know me,lol As an example, my boss wanted me to watch his cat
when he went away on vacation. I said sure. During this time he was having a hard time keeping any employees longer than a week, and we were falling behind. He was really getting the ringer from these people. So as a joke, I saw a gag gift on ebay that was a jar of " ex employees ashes"
I thought it was funny, be it my dry sense of humor ( Would never kill anyone,lol) I bought it and gave it to him. Two hours later he said he didnt need me to watch his cat anymore. ...

I never use sarcasim to put people down. I use it to mock life and the things that just happen in life. I like to laugh, it gets me through the hard times.
Without it, I would probably be on prozac





Ama