how to over come from weakness?

[Simi]

Respectable Members,
Hello to all,

I am 25 years old girl. I am software Engineer and working outside to my city.
First time I came out so far from home and encounter to my weakness. I wish to share my weakness with all of u to get overcome.

I felt that still I am so young who never see the world. I am good looking but not smart. Anybody make me fool and also I accept it because I don’t have opposing power. Although now I want change my attitude. Please give your suggestion and help me to come out from my weakness. I am ready to go for all the positive changes and to set my mind up.

I could able to go against of anything, anything means anything no matter how important it to my career or life. Infect before today I never feel to do strongly oppose. There are so many light matters that can be either solves or I accept it as solution. But now I feel that this attitude lead others to rule over me and direct me according to them. On few matter they will ask me for suggestion but most of them are pre-decided.

I am quite hesitating or shy girl. I am not able to do negotiation or bargaining during shopping. I don’t want to do discussion with blue-choler worker group. I am also not at all expressive.

My problem is that as till today I accept their solution as final and last one. But now according to my level of understanding I felt that there are better solution or solution can be modify. However I don’t have confidence that whatever be my solution is right or not, even I don’t have strength to say anything about my view to my dears. Actually my attitude never allow me to go against there decision and keep my point in front of them.


Due to my attitude everyone set their mind that whatever they decide I can accept it.
I want to change this vision. I want to change my attitude in such a way that nobody can hurt and I become able to take decision.

I request to the entire experience people please suggest me right way. My especially request to all mother who understand problem of there young girl.


Thanks & Regards

[Sunnybayes]

Hello Simi, please tell us more about yourself so that we have a better idea of how we can help you out and give you some good advice.

What is your location?
How long have you been pursuing personal growth?
Are you new to Steven Pavlina's website? How long have you been reading it?

"I am good looking but not smart."
What kinds of things would you like to become smart at?

Its good that you now have taken responsibility for you own life instead of having others control it for you.

"I am quite hesitating or shy girl. I am not able to do negotiation or bargaining during shopping. I don’t want to do discussion with blue-choler worker group. I am also not at all expressive."

Turn these negative impressions of yourself into positive impressions of yourself.

Whenever you feel yourself as a "hesitating or shy girl" say to yourself that
"I am a confident woman."
"I am able to bargain awesomely. I get better at bargaining each time I do it."
"I am very expressive."
"I am an intelligent woman."

Write these down on a piece of paper and tape it on the side of your mirror so that you will read these and believe them everyday.

Say these to yourself over and over again, until you can feel that your soul believes it. Believe it when you say these things to yourself.
This will bring the power of your subconcious mind working for you.
And say these to yourself everyday.

[InJoy]

I love what Sunnybayes suggested. It is fantastic advice, and if you do it with any consistency, you will see positive results.

If you have doubts about saying those positive things to yourself at first, just keep saying them. Chances are, you've been saying negative things ("I am not smart") for long enough that changing what you say might feel a little unnatural at first. It might even feel like a lie. (It did for me when I started.) But just keep saying them anyway. You are reprogramming your mind, and that takes some practice. Put those papers that Sunnybayes mentioned everywhere you might see them often in your day. On your bathroom mirror, the refrigerator, near the television, on your headboard. Say them to yourself every time you see them.

Another thing you might do is write down a description of how you want to be. Describe how you would look. Describe how you would feel. Describe your posture. Describe how you would dress, and talk, and act. Describe how other people would react to you. Go into as much detail as you can. You don't have to share this description with anyone if you don't want to. This is for you.

Then read that description everyday, as often as you can. Close your eyes and visualize it. Pretend it is already true, and feel how good that feels. Let that good feeling wash over you and keep the picture of the "new" you in your mind as clearly as you can. Keep this up for as long as possible.

Then one day, maybe not so far away as you'd think, you can try acting it out. Go somewhere you feel safe (perhaps somewhere with friends you trust, or maybe somewhere you don't know anyone at all) and try acting as though that description you wrote were already true.

Try these things in little bits and see what happens. I hope you'll come back and tell us how it's going.