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Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT


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Old 04-12-2007, 11:27 PM
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Default I need to self-motivate!! pronto!!

I have been on a trend lately to not do anything and laze around. Like i keep putting off filing taxes - not really sure why. even set time aside - twice to complete it - but got distracted watching tv and surfing the net. pretty pathetic!!!

i know i have been really tired and absolutely stressed out and maybe a bit depressed for over 6 months from work. i'd come home and veg out in front of tv and did not cultivate a social life. nothing. don't hang out with friends, no SO, and no hobbies.

i know i need to. and, i need to get out of this slump!! i do have those precious few moments of brilliant, productive ideas - and, i know i should do something about it - but i do nothing!! nothing at all.

any suggestions?
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Old 04-12-2007, 11:40 PM
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Its apathy. Same here with me. I feel for u.
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Old 04-13-2007, 12:17 AM
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Well, the first step, I guess would be to figure out something you want to do with your time. You probably are uncertain about what you even really WANT right now.

Get out of your house, it's probably not a productive environment for thinking, and go somewhere you can relax, and be distraction free. Think about your life, about what you want, write down some ideas. Once you have found something you can focus on, then it's a matter of setting up goals and altering your environment to be more geared toward getting you what you want.

Also, go do your taxes :-P.
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Old 04-13-2007, 02:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by niety View Post
any suggestions?
If you are serious about this... take a pen and a yellow pad... write down in details, including a deadline, three things that you want to accomplish... then, tell all your friends and relatives about it... and, even post it here...

That is a great motivator... you don't want to look foolish in front of your friends... so, chances are... you'll get off your butt and do it...

.
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Old 04-13-2007, 02:24 AM
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make a to do list and do some easy things first to get the ball rolling.
clean your desk - that's always a good thing to do - it's easy to do and you can listen to music while you do it and after you're done, you feel good that you accomplished something.

excersise too - gives you great energy to get things done!
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Old 04-13-2007, 10:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zoowise View Post
Get off your fat lazy ass and do something! How dare you sit around like some dumbshit loser wasting air!

Wow! thanx..Never thought of that before. Yup Definately triggered my Motivation.
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Old 04-13-2007, 10:24 AM
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Just so you know I find myself in a similar state.
I think I'll take the advice to clean off my desk, it's good to start somewhere. You're right, you could be suffering from depression, I think I might be, but I'm not in any hurry to start popping antidepressants and would like to see what I can accomplish through lifestyle changes.

One thing that helps me is when I'm home to set a time where I can't turn on the tv or computer, maybe one or two hours, and be strict about it. It's amazing the things I get done in the house at that time and the ideas I have. Start small with 1 or 2 hours of no computer/tv and then eventually if you like you can move it to an entire evening without it. With no tv to distract you all evening you may find yourself getting bored enough that you're motivated to really work on developing your social life.
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Old 04-15-2007, 03:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shamou View Post
If you are serious about this... take a pen and a yellow pad... write down in details, including a deadline, three things that you want to accomplish... then, tell all your friends and relatives about it... and, even post it here...
That is a great motivator... you don't want to look foolish in front of your friends... so, chances are... you'll get off your butt and do it...
.
IME this is too low level an approach. You write down what you think you should do, but the emotional investment isn't in it so you procrastinate. Then you feel bad about not having done it and guilty that you've let your friends down. (Who me, talking from personal experience?)

If it's something you need to do but don't really want to (clean the house, etc.) just do it. Seriously. You're trying to think yourself into action and that just doesn't work. You can't think yourself into 'do mode'.

If it's just too hard and scary to get going, do the progressive training thing. Get up NOW and do it for 5 minutes. You can do 5 minutes, right? If not, do 2 minutes.

The key (IMO) is to realise that transitioning from inaction to action is a mental skill that's developed through practice. And it's a skill that has little to do with conscious thought.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go wash the dishes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Susie View Post
You're right, you could be suffering from depression, I think I might be, but I'm not in any hurry to start popping antidepressants and would like to see what I can accomplish through lifestyle changes.
Two of the best things you can do (at least for mild depression) are:
1. Get some sun.
2. Get some exercise.
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When people see things as good, evil is created.
When the way is forgotten, 'morality' and 'piety' need to be taught.
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Last edited by Keith : 04-15-2007 at 04:52 AM. Reason: tidying
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Old 04-15-2007, 04:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keith
IME this is too low level an approach.
You are probably right... I have never felt like that... and, I did not even think that anyone could... I have been dealing with super achiever... the problem was mostly to slow them down... so... I'll let you take over on this one...

.
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Old 04-15-2007, 04:28 PM
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What I find is the main two-three things that distract me usually and distance myself from them any way possible.

For example, at one point I was bad with just listening to music on my computer for hours and as a result just browsing the web,so nothing too productive. As a result, I would stay up late and get nothing done.

What I did was put the mp3's on an external hard drive and disconnect the cable. Now for me to get access to my whole collection, I have to plug it in, turn it on and then start. That's two extra physical steps that I have to think twice about doing. This worked great and it also exposed me to start listening to other music (from rap to alternative/jazz/trance/etc)

You could also take all your paper work and go to a coffee shop and do it there, or a library
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Old 04-15-2007, 04:33 PM
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Default passions

yes, do something you enjoy. Maybe you don't feel motivated to do something you enjoy. You need people. Try to get out. Go to a class or something, that would be a first step if you've detatched yourself from people. Have you tried meditation?
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Old 04-15-2007, 11:50 PM
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Partial backflip:

I stand by what I said, but Shamou has a point too. You need to be able to set yourself in motion and know where you're going.

I had assumed that you pretty much knew what you had to do and were procrastinating. But if some of your goals are murky, then mapping them out makes them easier to take action on...
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When people see things as good, evil is created.
When the way is forgotten, 'morality' and 'piety' need to be taught.
-Dao De Jing, Chapter 2
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Old 04-18-2007, 04:18 AM
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Default T H A N K S !!!

THANKS for all the wonderful suggestions.

i did file the taxes

i do make tons of lists all the time of goals - but did not act on it. motivation and lack of people interaction are definitely a huge issue. i made some decisions about what to do. i was thinking that it would be good for me to publicly announce my commitments so that i stick to it.

i will:
- go to an exercise place close to work 3 times per week
- go to library / cafe to do internet stuff and am unplugging the TV.
- will join a dance class - so I can met people (i like dancing and haven't done that in years)
- take a break from - am taking 4 days off in a couple of weeks
- start and complete 2 of of my quick-hit projects - should be done in a month - and, should
- a little challenging project is to find and move to suitable housing - plan to complete that in 3 - 4 months - this is the one that i have started/stopped many times before, and got overwhelmed by it.

Again, you guys are wonderful!!
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