It feels good to feel bad

[Unik]

I am very successful in almost all aspects of my life. I am very motivated in all the things I do. And I am very energetic too.

But sometimes I feel bad. I want to feel bad about myself. It makes me happy after thinking so many negative thoughts. I think it is a compensation for the happiness I have in life. I feel a kind of out of world, when I dont have negative thoughts for 2 or 3 weeks. Then I settle in a lonely place and start thinking bad about me, my situation etc... But it really feels nice to think so.

What you think ? Am I a psycho ??

[earlybird]

Sometimes I feel when I'm feeling bad, that I want to feel that way. I sometimes like to feel sorry for myself, because its a paradigm I'm very comfortable with; the necessity for feeling bad. However, I definately don't feel good about it, as in the opposite of the feeling that is coming through. It feels nice, in an odd way. Then when I want to exit that phase, it takes a bit of short time, but it's quite easy really.

However, I would rather not I was in this paradigm. I'm gradually leaving it. I need to wait until I'm totally independant to do so (University). I don't think it would be fair to call yourself a psycho. You're different. Did you have a particularly hurtful childhood? Or even a particularly privelidged one? I think it's the nurture side of the coin here; your mindset here has arisen out of your experience. It is changeable, I can imagine, if you want to change it. Otherwise, there's nothing wrong as long as you feel good!

[dorothy hanna]

I think going with the bad feelings sometimes is like getting to scratch an itch that you've been trying to ignore for awhile. Like a mosqito bite. If you scratch it though, it keeps itching, and then you scratch it again, and again, until it becomes an open sore. Keep picking at it and it gets worse.

I know it gives a very temporary feeling of relief to scratch, but only prolongs the itch. My advice? Just like the mosquito bites, don't give in to the erge to scratch it, and it statrs to go away much faster.

[JHL]

No, you're not a psycho, you're quite normal

You feel sorry for yourself sometimes - like many people do - because there is a pay-off for doing so. I dont know what your particular pay-off is but it could be reinforcing any number of beliefs you have about yourself or the world around you.

Perhaps you believe life is unfair for some reason. Perhaps you dont feel like you deserve success. Perhaps you work really hard and sometimes the burden is too much to carry.

It does feel good to wallow for a while, but eventually self-aware people realise that - while it feels good momentarily, it actually sets you back more than it really helps for you.

Better to properly uncover the beliefs that are causing you to seek refuge in self-pity - there is growth to be revealed there.

What beliefs do your self-pity reinforce for you? What are your thoughts while you dwell in that place?

[Unik]

I think something like this, "The world has no meaning... what is the meaning of life etc.."(eventhough I clearly know the answer as read in many books and websites)


Yes... I had a hurful childhood. I was the only dark skin colored one in my family. Everone called me black and distinguished me from others. Anyhow the inferiority complex made me excel in my academic studies.(compensation).

But the complex was deep rooted that it was very very difficult for me to recover. And not fully recovered yet. Today also i think the reason any girl rejects me is because of my skin color. I know it is not. My previous girlfriends have told me it is not. But still....

[Acting Like Godot]

Sometimes I have bad feelings (eg sadness or fear), and I like the feeling too.

That happens when I listen to sad songs or watch horror movies.

In real life, I do not ever like having bad feelings.

[Sunnybayes]

I recently read the book, The Power of Full Engagement by Tony Schwartz and Jim Loehr. This fantastic book really pointed out the missing variable that was preventing me from having my days realize their possible potential. In the book, the two authors point out that most people are expected to maintain peak levels of mental and creative performance for eight hours each day when they realize it simply can’t be done. As a result people are continuously burnt out, stressed and functioning far below what their peak capacity is.

explains that yes, you do need a time out.

from here:
Scott H Young » Energy Management

[Shamou]

Thank you for the link Sunnybayes... great site...

.

[MGJ]

Effectiveness is truth... which means you should do what works for you. However, it also feels good to feel good. You could just as easily make the switch to experience from a different perspective.

[Dietrie]

What happens in your life is what you believe will happen.
I struggle right now, with many things; with addictions, depression, sadness, procrastination, etc... because I have fallen into the 'default' of my life, the negative outlook by which I have lived most of my life.
I know that I have made the decision to fall back into this mode of living. I know I can easily decide to make my way out of this rut. It's a matter of CHOOSING how you want to live, and to feel.
Good luck to you.

[JasonS76]

I think having that kind of fluctuation is normal - it makes us human so we can experience ALL emotions.

[Neo Master]

Well I don;t know about trying to feel bad on purpose.

The only time I have tried to get myself sad latly is to get in the mood to write some sad or dark piece of poetry. Or when I am workiing on writing a sad song. But as far as me getting sad, I don't do that anymore. There is not reason for me to be sad anymore.

[Lauxa]

Sometimes I will catch myself throwing a pity party and have this internal dialogue:

angel: Oooh, I'm having these negative thoughts again. I should change these!
devil: But it's so hard and draining to be happy all the time!
angel: Actually I feel better when I'm happy, and it's very easy to change a thought and I can do it at any moment.
devil: ...

And then usually I can change it. Although sometimes it takes some time while I search for the appropriate paradigm that brings me peace of mind. But I haven't purposely indulged in feeling bad for the sake of feeling bad for about 2 months now and I used to do it frequently.

HOWEVER, I can't imagine going 2-3 weeks without any negative thoughts! That is amazing! I have a hard enough time going a few hours without negative thoughts popping up that I have try to redirect in a more positive way. So it sounds to me as if you are on top of your "happiness game".