What sources/material make you feel better?

[Fusebox]

Hi all,

Just a quick question to ask what material/sources do you regularly use/experience/see/smell/hear to make you feel better, happy, positive etc??

Reason I ask is by nature Im relatively pessimistic, I am trying to change this. But some days I cannot get out of my negative thoughts and feelings.

I have found sometimes a good song on the radio and/or a good comedy movie makes me feel really good. But normally its short lived.

Any tips and advice would be very welcomed. Thanks.

[RT Wolf]

motivational audiobooks. Anthony Robbins is great.

[Jan Krüger]

Singing works very well for me. YMMV.

By the way, it's a lot more helpful to think of your pessimism as learned. You have gotten into the habit of thinking negatively. By becoming aware of this, you have a fairly good chance of changing it. For example, you can, in a positive moment, prepare positive thoughts that you summon as soon as you notice you're getting negative. Writing them down is supposed to be helpful. By reading the positive things you wrote down yourself, you remember that you have another way of looking at things at your disposal, you just need to get used to it.

[RT Wolf]

I think there's a book about that, too. My inner mind tells me it's called Learned Optimism.

[The Universal Call]

Originally Posted by RT Wolf

motivational audiobooks. Anthony Robbins is great.

You beat me to it. Listening to Anthony Robbins always makes my day, and he's a very welcomed listen both when feeling a bit down, and when feeling good. Fusebox: You need to hear him out, now.

To give my own two cents, fusebox: Food makes you feel good, drugs also (from what I've heard) also make you feel "good" (if only temporary), but do NOT even get the slightest idea of resorting to this. I myself would very rather recommend that you deal with this negativity, as far as I'm concerned you make it sound (in this thread) that you want something to boost you. You could take Jan's advice and sing your heart out, but this might only be a temporary solution. Steve mentions for example that Robbins suggests to "bang your chest" or do any other "powermove", but he also explains how this might not be for the better in the long run, at least this was the idea I got from it, but I will let Steve speak for himself on that topic. I'm not by far saying that no external "material/source" will make you feel good without them having consequences, of course there are things that can make you feel good without them having any consequence. In fact banging my chest has helped me a lot, it has even helped me in the way that - when I felt good imitating Donkey Kong I had a much greater opportunity to focus on how to become permanently happy. I have no direct tip for you (other than the already mentioned motivational audiobooks) but I just wanted to make sure that the subject of "dealing with the matter" was brought to your attention in case you wasn't too aware of it. Something does give me a hint however that you already knew of this, and I hope it is so.

Hope you found my input valuable, have a good one.

[dsmoke]

*checks list of "Things that Lift My Spirits" taped to desk*

A walk in nature or a park
Stretching and self-massage (I'm grumpy when I'm stiff and sore)
Thinking about people I love and good experiences I've had
Swimming
Brewing a good cup of aromatic tea
A nap
A bath
Breathing exercises
Playing with my pets
Eating something healthy (too much junk or unbalanced meals can make me lethargic and depressed)
Viewing my Vision Board
Webcomics (be careful - they can suck you in!)
Dancing, where appropriate
Uplifting music, as you mentioned
Simply reminding myself, "It is as it is," and letting go of resistance to things that don't go my way

[Alvin]

Anthony Robbins' CDs!

A personal growth book ('Success Built To Last' the most current one).

An inspirational story (anything by Paulo Coelho).

Funny clips on Youtube.com

My bicycle, I love riding

[Alarin]

what material/sources do you regularly use/experience/see/smell/hear to make you feel better, happy, positive etc??

I agree with the comments about audiobooks, and I think Steve P said something similar once about listening to positive audiobooks / podcasts each day as a form of emotional conditioning to keep you insulated from the negativity of the world. Even one a day makes a difference, I listen to Nightingale a lot, usually while doing the dishes.

Other things are positive, uplifting music and my favourite movies which are also very positive and fun, I have a lot of Studio Ghibli in my collection

But I think the most important thing you can do to regularly feel happier is to learn to really appreciate the little things (if you're not already doing so). One of my favourite quotes is by Abraham Maslow - "Getting used to our blessings is one of the most important nonevil generators of human evil, tragedy and suffering.” I find living in gratitude and appreciating everything I have makes life that much more special, you can find happiness in something as small as a cup of tea. To reinforce this I have stuck to my computer "Gratitude in all things" and it really does help me live a life of gratitude which leads to happiness because I'm always thinking about how much I have rather than how much I don't have.

I hope that helps

[MSC2471]

Audio CD's from motivational speakers would be my number one source for a pick me up. Music becomes a close second. Speaking with my wife- she's my best friend and a great soundboard for helping to change a negative state to a positive one. Exercise can also be a great mood changer for me. I guess I use a variety of methods, but then again I've never been one to be truly down for a long period of time.

Matt

[Fusebox]

I find living in gratitude and appreciating everything I have makes life that much more special, you can find happiness in something as small as a cup of tea

I definitely agree with the above. I have not yet listened to any Anthony Robbins CDs, I'll start looking on Ebay to see whats available.

Thanks everyone for the advice. Will keep you posted on how I go.

[tgl]

What other names should I look for in motivational speakers?

[RT Wolf]

Pavlina recommended Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, Tony Robbins. I haven't listened to Ziglar, but Tracy is ok, but no where near as exciting as Robbins. Good luck!

[The Universal Call]

I find Tracy's voice rather boring to listen to for any longer amount of time, but I digress.

I also recommend, as mentioned by Alvin, an inspirational book; Paulo Coelho is a great choice (I'm currently reading "The Zahir"). Inspiring books like Coelho's can really make one's day, the written text is a blessing, really.

One thing you should remember is what Alarin said: about being grateful. It is not hard to do - you can do it by yourself, anytime you want, anywhere you want.

[songwriter]

Rock and roll. Singing, playing guitar or piano, composing.
Chocolate, pizza, well, things that make you fat....
ehem... well... should I say it... here it goes... masturbation
this board and some others
silly computer sport games
being with friends
Party with friends
Pursue your dreams.
Getting to know the truth
Make theories and wonder about everything and it causes and interrelations.
Being in love
Laughing and make people laugh
Get along well with my parents
Help people if i can.
Be helped by people
Be kind, be brave and be curious.
Well... going to sleep too...and I must go now... bye.

[jethro.]

Singing, exercise, and ice cream, not necessarily in that order!

[Kindred]

Steve's podcasts and articles really move me to be more optimistic and work harder on myself. Which causes a chain reaction of great things.

Although to lighten bad days I work out more, listen to music, dance (even though I look like a total goof), play bass, and look at my goals and aspirations.

[Kevin]

I like to go for a run while listening either to fast-paced, exciting music (often music helps me to be more creative, which makes me feel good about myself, which makes me more productive) or some of the audio that people mention above. The combination of adrenaline, endorphins and affirmation is intoxicating.

[Trina]

Music (mostly techno and rock) and talking to friends makes me feel better when I am struggling.

[JeffS]

I can chime in with the "music" folks. It's amazing much of an effect background noise can have: I was working one day in a coffee shop, and plodding along nicely with your standard coffee-shop alt-rock playing in the background.

Then, at some point the music switched to bebop--really fast jazz. I had been sufficiently focused on my work that I didn't notice the switch, but I did notice that I was typing about 50% faster! It didn't cheer me up, exactly (I didn't need cheering up, fortunately), but it did something!

In more general terms, I strongly believe that much of what we enjoy in music are the associations we have with other things...there are plenty of pieces that make me feel better, not necessarily because of the tempo or anything, but because they remind me of another time I was very happy.

[ZenDude]

I recently read and then discovered to be true that forcing yourself to smile works. The body follows the mind and vice versa. So if you start smiling your thoughts will improve.

Good luck.

[Lotus]

John Kabat-Zinn

Less motivational focus and more self-healing focus. Teaches you take time out for yourself. After I met him and addended a lecture/workshop with him at my university last year, I was so moved I bought ALL his stuff on the spot. (And got them signed, woot!)

Just doing one of the stress-relieving exercises on his CDs makes me feel grounded, peaceful, non-stressed, and happy for taking 20 minutes for me.

Yeah, I sound like a hippy, but it's true.

[Zulu]

I love Tony Robbins, Steve Pavlina and Brian Tracy. Comedy tapes are great as well.

[Gene]

I definately find smiling works. In any situation I find myself I can not think of a single time a smile did not enhance my attitude, experience and outcome.

I also listen to self help audio programs.

Gene

[Milo Riano]

I would usually watch inspiring movies when I feel down. Some of them are Miracle, Gatacca, Goal.

[JeffS]

Couldn't agree more on Miracle. Sports movies are so perfect for this; Hoosiers and Seabiscuit also come to mind. And (for me, anyway) just about every baseball movie ever made. Another inspiring hockey movie is Mystery, Alaska ...I thought it looked really corny and watched it anyway, and it turned out to be great. The ultimate David-vs-Goliath sports movie.

[Fusebox]

On Friday, I went out and bought 'Think and Grow Rich' by Napoleon Hill (I saw mention of this book multiple times in another thread and it made me buy it ). Well anyways, Ive only read the first two chapters and I feel I can completely relate with it. The need to personally develop and become better just clicks with what it says and the stories of people who had the strong desire to become what they wanted to be in life.

Since Friday, I've been consistently happy for some reason. It feels like I have something I want to desperately achieve. I havent written down anything yet, but I will in the coming days. This is a good book so far, its had a positive impact.

One thing Id like to add to making me feel happy, is flying a kite. Did it yesterday. Feels awesome.

[Stephen]

Hi Fusebox

Did you get an original unabridged version or a 'modern' version (for todays reader )?

I always go for original unabridged as none of the message is lost in 'translation'.

[Henrik]

As many of you, I´d say motivational audiotapes/cds. I like Tony Robbins and Brian Tracy the most so far.

I also feel better by listening to some movie music/classical music.

For the last 10 years I´d probably have to say that the Simpsons have made the biggest difference in making me feel better. Episodes from seasons 3-10 always makes me laugh and feel better.

[Patricia]

There are already very good ideas/advice on this thread. In my experience, our thoughts tend to feed back into themselves, be they negative or positive. It's very easy to get trapped in the negative thoughts loop/spiral. The good news is that it works just the same way with positive thoughts (I don't really like the expression "positive thinking", I'm using it for lack of a better term, maybe I should say "feeling good").

Already being in a negative state, I find that relying upon external stimulus (or even internal ones, like trying to focus on images and things that make us happy) can definitely help break the cycle. In these situations, all of the suggestions above are very good, pick the ones that work for you or find new ones and try them out until you find something that works. I like to sing, to listen to music (music has a very powerful effect), to dance, to watch a funny or inspiring movie. Smiling works very well for me too. Just smiling at people on the street, even when you don't really feel like it. In fact, I've made smiling frequently a habit many years ago. I'm not sure how this works, it could be that by doing that we trick our brains, or when you smile at other people they usually smile back at us and that makes us feel good... I really don't know, all I know is that it works for me - and the more I smile, the more I feel like smiling. I even use smilies a lot on written communication. lol

But in order to avoid getting in the negative spiral/loop, I think it's important to become aware of the signs and do something about it before it traps you. You can condition yourself to avoid this, and more importantly, you can learn to be positive "by default". This takes a lot more work, I can tell you that in advance, but it is well worth the effort. There are different approaches to this and I'm new to this myself - again, different things work for different people. But basically, you should try to learn how to recondition your way of thinking. I'm not going into personal details here, but trust me, it took me A LOT of practice to be able to change my thought patterns. And I'm still in the process, but I'm here to tell you it is possible and it is really worth the effort.

Someone mentioned gratitude. To me this works wonders. After watching "The Secret" I started making it a habit to start my day thinking about the things I'm grateful for. It really puts you in a positive state, like it's already been said, helps you focus on being happy about what you already have instead of focusing on what you don't have (which would probably trap you in the negative loop). That doesn't mean you shouldn't want other things, but by feeling happy and grateful for what you already have you are allowing the positive mindset to set in.

But anyway, whenever you feel like you're starting to get in the negative thoughts loop, act immediately and go do something that makes you feel good. Try hard to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. Think about what you're grateful for. Put on some music. Whatever works for you, try different things, but act. It might feel "fake" in the beginning, but in time, it will help to recondition your thought patterns. I hope this helps, it sure has helped me, so I felt like sharing. Good luck to you.

[Margot Stepien]

Brian Tracy is the best!!! It always helps to listen to his tapes!!!