Family thinking negative about me

[Haris]

How to change your family views about yourself? My family is always thinking negative about me.

I told them I want to wake up at 9:00 AM to exercise - instead of thinking that I may exercise, they think that I will yet again WASTE my time on computer.

How to change their views about me? How to make them think positive about me.

P.S: I'm a freelance web developer.

[june]

talk to them!
if you have already talked to them and it has not worked,you will have to do some deep thinking of the issues and on all the people involved from various angles.

the good thing is that both you and your family cares!!

get your family to walk in your shoes for some time! and if not the entire family group, try convincing one member at a time about your views!

also try the possibility that there could be some truth in what they are saying!

and if all fails, and you are right in your chosen path , then time will teach them to see through your eyes!! so hang in there!

[Kamma]

In short - show them. they may think that you're saying one thing and doing another but if you actually do what you say you will then they will actually begin to take the view that if you say you'll be getting up at 9am to exercise then that's what you'll be doing!

Good luck.

[Dating Specialist]

Well Haris, did you have a track record of "not so believable" reputation? Have you been saying things, or making promises but never materialise them within the said period you said you will?

If that is the case, then I guess action have to speak louder than words this time round. Show them you mean business this time. Trust has to be earned sometimes, but when you do earn it, it'll stick for life. Unless you screw up big time again, which you wouldn't if you had earned it in a hard yet steadfast way, agree?

But if your folks had been very negative all along, perhaps the issue lies with them? Communication and showing them little improvements along the way might help in shifting them into a more positive and useful mindset.

Hope this help and good luck!

[RT Wolf]

Originally Posted by Haris

How to change your family views about yourself? My family is always thinking negative about me.

I told them I want to wake up at 9:00 AM to exercise - instead of thinking that I may exercise, they think that I will yet again WASTE my time on computer.

How to change their views about me? How to make them think positive about me.

P.S: I'm a freelance web developer.

A lot of people have posted about dealing directly with your family, and its obvious that you care what your family thinks. I take a different tack. Ignore them. You will do what you want to do and you will do your best. They can choose to understand that and accept the new you and start to think better of you, or not, that is their choice (it really is). Just keep doing and engaging in developing yourself, and soon you won't have to convince them at all, your actions, habits, and words will be convince them.

That is, don't take the time to try to convince them otherwise, just keep doing your thing and they'll change their views of you. You're not doing PD for someone else's approval or disapproval, I hope.

I hope that was clear.

[BelleEnchanted]

I agree with RT Wolf. It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you, not even your family. What's most important is what YOU think about you. And if it makes you feel good to begin getting up early and exercising, do it.

And if you start doing that, but find that you don't really feel good doing it, it's okay to stop doing it - don't let what your family might think about your change of mind bother you either.

How anyone else sees you is all about them. It's not about you. Truly, it's not.

I remember a post that Steve made quite a while ago, where he talked about going to an improv class, and he was willing to have fun and not care about what anyone else thought, and he did have fun and it truly didn't matter that everyone else might have thought he was goofy to actually do the exercises in class. It's the same thing with this - it's just that it feels a bit harder because it's not strangers, it's your nearest and dearest.

But a funny thing does happen when you start accepting that how you feel about yourself is what matters most. Some of your family members might be open to coming around to your point of few, and your relationships with them will improve.

The ones who can't accept who you are will more likely than not simply quietly fade from your life. Yes, they will still be there, and be a part of your family, but you'll find that you won't have to deal with them as much as you used to.

Belle

[thestral]

Abraham, in the book Law of Attraction, has the greatest quote - Their dissaproval of me is their lack, not yours. Just keep doing your thing. My parents strongly dissapprove of everything I do, pretty much, but I love them for at least being there and ignore the rest. And I have always had a god rep for always doing what I said I'd do. I live my life by the philosophy that, since you cannot please everyone, you might as well focus on pleasing yourself.

[pinkhighlighter]

Show them, instead of telling them.
Don't seek their approval anymore. Seek your own. Do what your heart desires.

[Andrew Brunelle]

What you have to try and do is prove to them you will exercise every day or however often you say you will and encourage them to try it too. The best way to stop people from thinking negative thoughts about you is to stop thinking that they think negative thoughts about you and try to create conditions where them thinking negative thoughts about you is impossible. I admit I have the same problem sometimes. I sometimes do not do what I want to because I fear there will be a backlash from my family, telling me what I do is stupid or irrational, or that I do not have the experience, and I just pass it off into the universe and say, "I'm doing this no matter what."

And if you fail, you fail, but do not let other people's negative reactions influence your life. Do what you feel is right, and if someone tells you you shouldn't or you are crazy, then just pass them off as someone who challenges you, and go about doing whatever it is you want to do. Show them if you set out to do something, you will do it.

[Lychee]

We are not responsible for another person's view of us. A view is just a view. Is it reality? No, it may be an incomplete assumption of who we are. Or it may be a correct assumption of who we are. Listen to your family if they have valid remarks to make. However, this is your own life. You have your own path, your own goals, and you are responsible only for yourself. If you want people to think positive about you, start thinking positively of yourself.

[RT Wolf]

You might also consider not telling people who won't be totally supportive your goals. Only supportive people, not even those people who won't say anything negative.

[YouseffTheSheep]

RT Wolf is right, that you shouldn't tell people who don't support you of your goals. I've had a lot of experience telling people that I "want" to do something, and then them scoffing at me (especially family).

I have found out that the most effective way to tell someone that you "want" to do something, is to have already done it and then told them "I have been doing...". If you where, are anything like me, then you have a lot of things that you have "wanted to do", that you have merely talked about or tried only a few times.

Actions speak louder than words.

If your family is anything like mine, then taking action and then telling them what you wanted to do (And started to do), should help out changing their perspective on you. However, if your family is just a bunch of dicks... Well, you'll either have to learn to seperate yourself from their opinion, or just get used to what they do.

[Iamsuperman]

Use proving them wrong as a little motivation.
While it shouldn't be the primary reason you doing this, you may be able to use it for your own gain. Maybe even make a bet with them! (When you win be sure to rub it in alot )