Negative Thoughts :(

[agaertnqer6jq5ybqv5yq54vy]

Hey, first, sorry for my username, tried registering loads of different names and they wouldnt work so got annoyed and thats wat happened :P

I have been feeling really down the last while. I never felt this way before! My doctor said its not depression, just negative thinking. It started on saturday night when my gf (who i live with) was out with her sisters and I was in on my own (none of my mates would go out ) There was a girl flirtin with me the night before but I told her I had a gf and i told her all about her. THen on the saturday I was sitting thinkin "what if my feelings ever changed for my gf?, what if they have changed? what if i dont love her?!" These thoughts got me really down. They eventually disappeared and my gf came home the next day and I was fine. I thought thank god I feel ok and I was happy for the rest of the day and things were normal. On the monday I started getting down in the evening but my mood lifted again before I went to bed. Then tuesday I was slightly down at work and pretty bad in the evening (cried a few times) then told my gf everythin and she was supportive although worried. About 3 hours later I was fine again and everythin was back to normal and me and my gf were laughin and messing around. And I thought "what is goin on! Im fine now and I know I love my gf and Im so happy with her, why was I ever down!" Then during work yesterday I felt down most of the day. My gf took me to the doctors that evening. My mood lifted once my gf collect me and I felt happy again. The doctor said its negative thought and i need to think more positive. After that I was bit down again but mood lifted as usual before I went to bed. This morning, i was ok and thought its gonna be a good day but then I got to work and the feelings came back. My gf says not to think about it. But the feeling comes over m when I'm not thinking on anythin! Plus the worry of the feeling coming back doesnt help! I have been ok for the last few hours. I keep telling myself its only negative thoughts and ignore them. I just wish they would stop coming! I love my gf and I'm afraid I'll end up pushin her away and I never want that to happen. Sorry for the really long post but I just had to explain it. Anyone have any advice?
Thanks
Chris

[Kamma]

It sounds like this started when you began thinking 'what if?' Why not just focus on the moment and see if it makes a difference. Don't get down when your alone. Try to appreciate time with yourself. I know this is no deep down answer but why not try and not put so much pressure on yourself.
Take care and let us know how you're doing.

[m0vingon]

It seems like this fairly consistently hits you during the day- while at work. Is there a link of some sort there?

It's not necessarily true that this is just negative thinking, but trying to change that negative thinking is certainly worth it. It's a good practice to consciously add positive self care and enjoyment to your day. Do the things you enjoy doing. Get lots of sleep, exercise, and eat well.

There are so many physical issues that can cause depressive-type symptoms. Anemia, thyroid issues, instable blood sugar, just to name a few. You can't overcome those things just with positive thinking, but you certainly can be aware of the patterns and work with them.

It's hard to say if it is or isn't just the negative thought patterns. Try to be aware of what is going on in your day throughout the day and how you are feeling. That process may give you some clues as to what is going on.

Hang in there and keep posting.

[Greek Dog]

You say you are afraid of losing your gf. Know that fear is a danger and focusing on such a fear can actually create the feared outcome. I suggest that each time you are aware of the thought or feeling, "I am afraid of losing my gf." that you then switch immediately to, "I am thankful for my gf." Say it over and over or louder and louder (even to yourself) until the "thankful" thought is stronger than the "afraid" thought.

Thoughts are extraordinarily powerful. They can effect our physical being and you can choose healthy thoughts even if you cannot control negative thoughts - just let the healthy ones drown out the negatives.

[Tammy]

This is like a feeling I had some years ago regarding my mother.

At the time, she was EVERYTHING I had, I had no friends, boyfriend, other relatives or loved ones, nothing.

Negative thoughts crossed my mind all the time, what if my mom gets sick? What if she needs something when I'm not home? or something bad happens if I'm not there? What if she chokes while she's sleeping at night? What is she gets out and has an accident? etc.

I had the mood swings too, everything.

You are dependent on your GF. You have deposited all your love and care into a single person so you feel like the world will end when that person is not around you anymore.

And you know what, she won't be around forever. But you have to keep in mind that every minute you invest worrying for the day she'll be gone is a minute of enjoyment you are losing.

Cry, worry and get sad when you have to. But right now, is not the time for such things.

Try to focus in all the great times together, past, present and future. And get the most out of them! And when such times are gone, be grateful you had something, some people just don't have anything at all.

Remember that when we are born the only thing we have for sure is death, the rest is a gift, and not everyone gets as lucky as us...

[Candace]

Hello friend, I think that you may have free-floating anxiety with depressed undertones. If it's hard to nail down what's bugging you can attach the negative feelings to just about anything that's going on at the time. When the anxiety pops up out of no where it could be from denying something painful to address. Feelings are much faster than thoughts. I would pull up the feeling face on and say... Hummm so I'm feeling this way and it's OKAY... what is bothering me in my life? ~ Do I need change somewhere? And what it maybe is just a message that you need change in yourself... could be a different more fulfilling job, start a new direction... or some just some change for your growth for the better. From your note, the girlfriend seems attentive and caring. I've had those symptoms before and this is what fixed it for me: know you have control over it by taking a look at yourself and saying "okay I’m feeling like this for now and it's OKAY because this will pass, however, I prefer to think and feel happy about [fill in the blank] thinking of something that makes you happy... i.e.: puppy, clear sunny days, mountains, ocean shore, waterfalls, horses running on a prairie... stars on a clear night in the country... or something else that inspires YOU. Focusing on what will make YOU happy... getting some visions of inspiration for change of what you want for yourself to make YOU feel good. You flip from the anxiety to shifting to the pleasant feelings. Also "attitude of gratitude" is awesome for lifting up the mood... prayer is powerful as well. Oh well ... hope that helps ... it works for me. Have a Blessed day!!!

[Psychicboom]

Everyone has negative feelings, it's only natural. However we don't HAVE to have them, we can clear them away and bring in positive energy.

I do lots of seminars in churches to be able to help people clear this away some is :

Daily meditation is a good start to be able to try clearing any negative thoughts, breathing and visualizing your negativity on the exhale blowing out into the universe for the angels to deal with.. is always helpful. Keep doing this until you feel satisfied that your bad thoughts are drifting away and out of your mind.

Call upon your Guardian Angel to help you with this and also bathing with sea salts is also a great way to clear away any bad toxins.

Lots of goodluck x

[febflake]

Please please, try to get an appointment with a cognitive or behavioural doctor. It doesn't look like bipolar symptoms but you are not in the position to gain control of your mental state all by yourself at the moment. You have to step back and find out techniques that suit your particular condition. Especially if you experience mild background depression with anxiety attacks (which could be the cause of the former or the other way around) (yes that's a mess). There might be multiple origins for your condition (be prepared to learn nasty things about yourself in the process) ranging from depression running in the family to health habit and inability to cope with mild anxiety or suffering from panic attacks.
I don't know how it's working in the US (assuming you live there) but you could get some good direction from university assistant or psychology faculty. Don't look out for a shrink or a psychiatrist (or even a psycho therapeutic thingie). IANAD.

[Kenny Lindsay]

I have to say in all my time in forums I have never seen a User name quite like yours! LoL!

What I suggest is trying to focus on more positive things as well as staying active and busy which should give you less time to focus on negative things.

Best Wishes
Kenny

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by agaertnqer6jq5ybqv5yq54vy

Hey, first, sorry for my username, tried registering loads of different names and they wouldnt work so got annoyed and thats wat happened :P

I have been feeling really down the last while. I never felt this way before! My doctor said its not depression, just negative thinking. It started on saturday night when my gf (who i live with) was out with her sisters and I was in on my own (none of my mates would go out ) There was a girl flirtin with me the night before but I told her I had a gf and i told her all about her. THen on the saturday I was sitting thinkin "what if my feelings ever changed for my gf?, what if they have changed? what if i dont love her?!" These thoughts got me really down. They eventually disappeared and my gf came home the next day and I was fine. I thought thank god I feel ok and I was happy for the rest of the day and things were normal. On the monday I started getting down in the evening but my mood lifted again before I went to bed. Then tuesday I was slightly down at work and pretty bad in the evening (cried a few times) then told my gf everythin and she was supportive although worried. About 3 hours later I was fine again and everythin was back to normal and me and my gf were laughin and messing around. And I thought "what is goin on! Im fine now and I know I love my gf and Im so happy with her, why was I ever down!" Then during work yesterday I felt down most of the day. My gf took me to the doctors that evening. My mood lifted once my gf collect me and I felt happy again. The doctor said its negative thought and i need to think more positive. After that I was bit down again but mood lifted as usual before I went to bed. This morning, i was ok and thought its gonna be a good day but then I got to work and the feelings came back. My gf says not to think about it. But the feeling comes over m when I'm not thinking on anythin! Plus the worry of the feeling coming back doesnt help! I have been ok for the last few hours. I keep telling myself its only negative thoughts and ignore them. I just wish they would stop coming! I love my gf and I'm afraid I'll end up pushin her away and I never want that to happen. Sorry for the really long post but I just had to explain it. Anyone have any advice?
Thanks
Chris

Practitioners of LOA (especially the Abraham-Hicks version) will recognise this as an example of how thoughts attract thoughts of a like nature, which attract even more thoughts of a like nature.

Chris here hit a downward spiral because his initial negative thoughts attracted even more negative thoughts, and more, and more, and he basically sank.

[metaphy6]

When you have the fear of losing your gf that means you have the fear of not being able to get a new gf. Think about it, if you know that you can get a new gf anytime, then you don't have the fear of losing your current gf. I know you love your gf but how do you know you cannot love another girl more than you love your current gf? Your gf may be a good gf but she is not the best. When you think that you have the best gf, there is always someone better than her that you have have not met. There are billions walking in this planet and it's impossible for you to find the best girl that you love the most, unless you're living in a world of 100 girls in a small tribe. Stop worrying about losing your gf because that is not attractive to her. Make new friends and get busy enjoying life. If you don't cling to your gf she will get more attracted to you. Cling to your gf and you're pushing her away because she doesn't need another girl.

Socialize and get to know more girls. If a girl flirts with you, that's all good, why do you need to tell her you have a gf? Just play along and see how it goes. If you have 20 girls flirting with you and showing interest, do you think you will have that negative thought? Probably it won't even bother you since you have options now. Seriously dude, think about it, do you prefer to have options of you prefer your gf to have such options?

[agaertnqer6jq5ybqv5yq54vy]

Hey, I had forgotten the address to this site. Omg! Thanks for all the posts, they are all helpful (apart from the one sayin to flirt to have more options :P) But everyone is entitled to their opinion and I respect that. A bit of an update. I was quite bad for a while. The weeked before last myself and my gf and some of our friends went out for drinks and bowling etc, next day we went to the park then out later again. The following day I visited my family etc.. Kept busy, the feelings went away and it was great! I was back to normal and had no doubts and was happy again and thought back and wondered why on earth I felt like that. But then I just left it and forgot about it. However the weekend passed I was at home watchin tv and somethin on tv bout a man who's gf died. Then it hit me again. I could just feel the strong feeling coming over me. I tried not to think about anythin but the feeling remained. Then theres times I realise I'm happy but once I do I remember why I was sad and its like feeling guilty about being happy!! I'm not too bad this week, although it comes and goes as usual. Times now I think if I did end it with my gf would I be sad, I try to imagine how i'd feel, and I cant really feel it but then again I try thinking on other tragedies and I cant imagine the feeling either. But one thing I do feel is that it scares me. I never want it to end. I think sometimes I'm tryin to analyse it to much and pressure myself to try and feel things there and then whereas when I was feeling fine I was just relaxing and taking things as they came and it was fine. But its when I analyse it, do i love her, what if i dont (knowing that i actually do), what if i have to end it someday. All these thoughts torture me and I never want to be without her. She is amazing, smart, funny, beautiful and we are so good together. The fact though that I was feeling bad then I was fine for a week makes me think that its just a phase and a bad way of thinking. Because if any of my doubts were true then I would always have them. Shes going on holidays in about a month for 2 weeks. It will actually be the longest we've gone without seeing eachother!! Anyways, thanks again for all the help, I am so grateful!