Lost and Confused

[sakura]

I feel so completely lost. I am 27 and a single mom of a child with developmental delays. I have no friends and feel terribly alone. My life seems pointless. I don't know what I want or who I am. I love to read and watch movies, but afterwards I feel empty inside like I wish my life where a fantasy story full of action, adventure, and love. I know it's not real, but I can't help but to want it. Afterwards I always feel alone and depressed. I don't know what to do with my life. What is the purpose of living? I hate myself and I don't like my lilfe. I love my son, but I feel like I just don't know how to live. Stories and movies are exciting and interesting... The real world... what's the point? I don't know what the purpose is. How am I supposed to know how to live my life? I don't want a boring life... the same thing everday. I want something more, but I don't know what that is...

[ZephyrusX]

Learn to embrace life and to have fun not only for your self, but also for your son as the way you live your life will undoubtedly rub off onto him in some way. Is it not meaningful enough to invest your son with meaning, love and support? I'd say your life is full of meaning and is not at all pointless. You just seem to be having trouble realizing this for some reason.

I like stories too; not so much because they exaggerate things beyond real life, but because they do so in order to accentuate some aspect of the human condition. You don't need to escape into a story in order to explore what it means to be human. You can do so by embracing 'real life' as well.

How would you like to live your life in the future? IF you could do anything or be anything, what would it be?

[NewSimon]

Hi Sakura and welcome! You've come to a good place, there are plenty of people here with similar life experience, insights and advice. There is the support of strangers who care. Is there anyone who you can turn too where you are?

[Brooklyn]

Originally Posted by sakura

I don't want a boring life... the same thing everday. I want something more, but I don't know what that is...

Hi Sakura,

I'm only 22, so maybe I don't know enough in this world to comment.... but... I do know that you'll never find what you're chasing until you start to chase at least something.

[Gemmacat]

You will find purpose once you find what you truly want out of life. It may not be constant adventure at all. It might just be something you haven't thought of before. Right now you are focusing on what is lacking in your life, but not on what you DO have in your life. It's all about making the best with what you have. Find the opportunities in your life and pursue them. Try new things.

Also remember that in the end, it's your attitude towards life and what you focus on that matters. If you have a positive attitude and focus on positive things, you will have a happy, positive life. If you search for meaning, you will find it.

[sakura]

I'm not good at anything and I have had quite the boring life. I am full of regret... because of my lack of self confidence and willingness to take chances when I was younger and even now. I have missed out on so much and I truly regret that. I want to change and to be happy, but I don't know how. Because I don't know how to live. How to spend my days. How to make my life an exciting story just like a book I have read or a movie I have watched...

[ZephyrusX]

You say that you forgone chances in the past to live a more excitng life due to the lack of confidence, so you must have some idea of how you would like to live your life. If you had the confidence and the know-how, how would you be currently living your life? What is exciting to you?

I like what Gemmacat said -

Right now you are focusing on what is lacking in your life, but not on what you DO have in your life.

I think it really comes down to attitude. We actively create meaning and impose it onto our environment. We can't help you unless you want to actively help your self, and to be frank, you seem to have fallen into a 'hopeless' mindset. If you want to think that you are hopeless and meaningless, then you are and there is nothing we can do for you.

Best of luck to you...