I don't mean to whine about customers...but can anyone relate to this?

[rainbowgold]

I've worked in "high-end" retail stores for years now. I thought nothing would surprise me anymore with stupid, immature grown adults kicking and screaming until we break the store's policy to make them happy. We just laugh about them when they're gone and forget about it five minutes later. That's all you can do.

But after what happened last week, I can't seem to forget about it and the underlying truth about how pathetic the majority of this country has become. We had just opened the store. The phone rings and it's an older woman with a rude tone to her voice wanting a particular shoe. I check the stock room and then apologize to her that we unfortunately don't have it at this store, but offered to check our neighboring stores for her. After being SNAPPED at about how dare I suggest she drives "all the way" out there, she literally starts screaming at me that I'm obviously not the manager because no manager would ever treat their customers this way, that I was "wayyyyy less than helpful," (this is all over a two-sentence conversation from my part, following the store's protocol of what to do when we don't have something in stock) then demanded to talk to my manager, followed by literally three entire minutes of her rambling to him about how I sounded incredibly young and immature, that I need to be replaced, she's going to corporate about this, who do I think I am, how dare I get paid, this isn't what our company stands for, etc. etc. etc. She even LIED to him about things that I never even said or "did!" For how stupid this is, I can't even explain to you how articulate she was in her insults and complaints about me! The manager had to apologize to her, offer discounts and speak in the most gentle, soft voice. I wanted to vomit.

For the first time in my life, I cried at work. Not because of some old hag's words over a telephone, but because even though the managers love me and know that I did nothing wrong, I might have to leave because of how upset this potentially mentally ill customer is because the customer's business "always comes first." I'm American and had no freedom of speech whatsoever during that phone call. I didn't have ONE SECOND to even explain that I was trying to help her, because the stupid ignoramus interrupted my only possible attempt of a sentence beginning with "I apologize for that, but I was just trying to--".
"I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN APOLOGY, I WANT A MANAGER!"

How is it not a crime, or violation of employee's rights, (looks like there are none) that a single, 20-year old female who is 100% on my own in LA and pinches pennies just to survive, is forced to just swallow a blatantly ignorant geezer attacking me for trying to help and then making up lies to get me fired? In other words...what the HELL differently could anyone have said picking up the phone to make her NOT have reported them to corporate??

I keep getting so angry and disgusted in the middle of the day, and I hate that. Does anyone else believe that their company needs to change their "no tolerance" for talking back at an abusive customer? My dream would be for us to reserve the right to refuse her service after her behavior unless she apologizes. But I know, that's nothing more than a dream in this messed up society.

Thanks for reading...and again, I know there are millions of "stupid customers" every single day....but I've NEVER had one this insane and get away with it.

[Cochonette]

Sorry to hear about this. I think that customer should NOT come first, and anyone that rude should not be considered as a customer, period. It's obnoxious that your manager would act as if the company owed anything to people who have no respect for others. Just because they want money? Is there a dearth of respectful customers, that they feel like they have to bend over to this? That woman actually reminds me of my mom, who I recall screaming at people over the phone and getting hung up on. My mom was just nuts. I'm already starting to get annoyed at one of my managers talking to me in a whiny voice all the time because I did something incorrectly, which is often because I can't understand her poorly-pronounced English... but I can tolerate it. Some things I wouldn't.

[Excellent Lodestar]

I've Always believed that Companies should back up their employees if those employees are staying true to the Co's policies. Companies should not allow their employees to be bullied.

I understand that customer service is very important, but good managers need to recognize a whack-job "customer" when they see one and support the employee (and company's policy) accordingly.

[ZephyrusX]

I keep getting so angry and disgusted in the middle of the day, and I hate that. Does anyone else believe that their company needs to change their "no tolerance" for talking back at an abusive customer? My dream would be for us to reserve the right to refuse her service after her behavior unless she apologizes. But I know, that's nothing more than a dream in this messed up society.

Every store I have worked at has a policy that tolerates zero verbal abuse from customers. If the customer goes over the top, management will support employees by either trying to disfuse the situation (without repreminding the employee) or asking the customer to leave the premises. If management is unsupportive of their employees and values the customer no matter what, I'd say it is time to find a new job. The interests of customers do not supercede the employee's self-respect and integrity.

I get where you are coming from. I always get at least one customer who gives me a hard time every work day, but it is best just to let the experience go and not let it skew your perceptions. Most of my customers are genuinely good people who are willing to understand my situation and work towards a meaningful solution. Don't let a few 'rotten' customers prevent you from seeing the good in other people.

You could also try switching perceptions and treating 'hard' customers as a means of developing better communication skills. I like trying out different approachs to see if I can disfuse the customer before they get really irrate. Understanding is also key to success, but no matter what sort of circumstances the customer happens to be occupying, it doesn't justify verbal abuse.

I think it really comes down to management style. Is management willing to support you? If not, what can you do about it? Challenge their management style? Leave your job and find a new one?

[Angela]

Angry customers are excellent opportunities for you to learn how to be an effective manager, if you're interested in managing or being an entrepreneur. Even this one, even after the fact. You could be asking your managers: how would you have handled this? What can I do going forward to handle this kind of thing in an excellent way?

Otherwise, I'd recommend quitting and finding a job where you never have to deal with customers.

[tarajc]

Ah- rainbowgold- I can relate. I work in customer service as well and it's the complainers that think they will get more help if they scream or be rude and pushy. Granted, it's only about 2 percent of the total of my customers but it's the rude ones you don't forget and the people you want to help the least.

I once had a customer argue with me about tax, and just a few pennies worth, and he insulted me by asking me if I graduated high school! When I explained that my computer calculates the tax, he asked for a manager, I gladly got him one.

A good manager can recognize customers who exaggerate the truth and if your employer knows you well enough to know how you treat customers on a regular basis then I should hope you have nothing to worry about.

Now as far as the "no tolerance" towards talking back, there are ways to professionally hang up on some one. As in, "If you continue to personally insult me then I have no choice but to end this phone call" or to calm the customer down "I cannot help you until you are able to calm down so we can work out this situation for you."

I hope the best for your situation. Good luck.

[votoshka]

A store should NOT put the customers before the employees. Naturally, all employees are expected to treat customers with respect, and I believe that too, but only to a point. You treat someone with respect until they disrespect you. Then, you ask them to leave (or in this case, you disconnect the call).

If your managers can't back you up on that, it's time to find a new job elsewhere.

[Grandiouse]

Good to see that most of the replies here have noted that managers SHOULD support their employees. If they don't, I would re-evaluate whether you want someone like that to be your manager.

I am in retail as well and I have come across difficult customers. Customers are NOT always right. They bring their baggage with them from a tough day and will unload and blow it out of proportion if they don't get their way.

Angela, what are some ideas for work that doesn't deal with customers? I am tired of retail..lol

[rainbowgold]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the input and I agree that it can be taken as a good opportunity to be prepared for worst-case scenarios with upset clients in the future. I have been on the lookout for a new job, it's just hard when you finally have 40 hours somewhere and really know what you're doing--and quit during these economic times. But yes, quite tempting and possibly necessary.

I guess a lot of my anger is a pride thing, too--like, aside from the whole scenario basically translating into "forget the stupid employee, YOU are God," I can't accept the fact that an adult can START right of the bat with whining (not just react), and then have the audacity to complain about rudeness. Do you HEAR yourself when you talk!?!?

Sure helps to hear how much you guys understand though!

[Entelechy]

Originally Posted by rainbowgold

I've worked in "high-end" retail stores for years now. I thought nothing would surprise me anymore with stupid, immature grown adults kicking and screaming until we break the store's policy to make them happy. We just laugh about them when they're gone and forget about it five minutes later. That's all you can do.

But after what happened last week, I can't seem to forget about it and the underlying truth about how pathetic the majority of this country has become. We had just opened the store. The phone rings and it's an older woman with a rude tone to her voice wanting a particular shoe. I check the stock room and then apologize to her that we unfortunately don't have it at this store, but offered to check our neighboring stores for her. After being SNAPPED at about how dare I suggest she drives "all the way" out there, she literally starts screaming at me that I'm obviously not the manager because no manager would ever treat their customers this way, that I was "wayyyyy less than helpful," (this is all over a two-sentence conversation from my part, following the store's protocol of what to do when we don't have something in stock) then demanded to talk to my manager, followed by literally three entire minutes of her rambling to him about how I sounded incredibly young and immature, that I need to be replaced, she's going to corporate about this, who do I think I am, how dare I get paid, this isn't what our company stands for, etc. etc. etc. She even LIED to him about things that I never even said or "did!" For how stupid this is, I can't even explain to you how articulate she was in her insults and complaints about me! The manager had to apologize to her, offer discounts and speak in the most gentle, soft voice. I wanted to vomit.

For the first time in my life, I cried at work. Not because of some old hag's words over a telephone, but because even though the managers love me and know that I did nothing wrong, I might have to leave because of how upset this potentially mentally ill customer is because the customer's business "always comes first." I'm American and had no freedom of speech whatsoever during that phone call. I didn't have ONE SECOND to even explain that I was trying to help her, because the stupid ignoramus interrupted my only possible attempt of a sentence beginning with "I apologize for that, but I was just trying to--".
"I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN APOLOGY, I WANT A MANAGER!"

How is it not a crime, or violation of employee's rights, (looks like there are none) that a single, 20-year old female who is 100% on my own in LA and pinches pennies just to survive, is forced to just swallow a blatantly ignorant geezer attacking me for trying to help and then making up lies to get me fired? In other words...what the HELL differently could anyone have said picking up the phone to make her NOT have reported them to corporate??

I keep getting so angry and disgusted in the middle of the day, and I hate that. Does anyone else believe that their company needs to change their "no tolerance" for talking back at an abusive customer? My dream would be for us to reserve the right to refuse her service after her behavior unless she apologizes. But I know, that's nothing more than a dream in this messed up society.

Thanks for reading...and again, I know there are millions of "stupid customers" every single day....but I've NEVER had one this insane and get away with it.

Hi rainbowgold,

I worked for a Fortune 500 corporation for a couple years as a manager, and you won't believe the kind of customers I had to deal with. I was a team leader in the customer service department, and I took around 5,000 escalations during my time there (read: calls from extremely angry people).

I have easily been called every name in the book, multiple times each, lol.

For someone who may not have to deal with customer aggression quite as often, I am sorry for your experience. But remember, that lady has no idea who you are, so don't let it get to you. If her attitude is that poor, she obviously has some pretty serious problems of her own.

In the end, keep in mind that it's not personal, it's just business.

[COOLJING]

Originally Posted by Entelechy

,

In the end, keep in mind that it's not personal, it's just business.

I agree with this. It's just business and you won't take it as personal. I am a customer services manager for years and handled a lot of aggressive customers as well. I tell my teammates that they may come accross various kinds of people each day but don't have such difficult people to ruin your mood and the whole day happiness. Calm donw and think about how to get the skills at such situtation. You will become stronger and nobody can hurt you.

[garentee]

Not that I am suggesting anyone do this... but when I get a surly customer that just does not understand what I am doing and why my vegetables are so expensive or is just generally being difficult for no reason, I refuse to sell to that person... It is not necessarily something you can do unless you are the owner of the business.. but Thought I would just put it into print.

[goldberg]

Sorry to hear, unfortunately there are people out there who get off on complaining and treating other people with disrespect. And customer service is an easy target for them. There is of course the added benefit to them that their behaviour is validated because they tend to get what they want by acting like this. But if it makes you feel any better this behaviour in the long term does them no good.

[Angela]

Rainbowgold, you might enjoy taking an NLP or hypnosis course. Lots of good tools for engaging effectively with all kinds of people.

[st33med]

Here's a website with TONS of dialogues between customers and employees that go south and become funny. Especially with those badass managers stepping in and defending their employee.

Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes

For example:

Customer: “I’m on my way to the kennels and my cat here needs an injection to get in.”

Me: “Well, you need an appointment for that. We’re fully booked until tomorrow afternoon.”

Customer: “If you’re going to be so difficult, I’ll take my cat elsewhere and get it put down!”

or...

(I work at an incoming call center for a well known adult website. Most of our calls deal with technical problems or issues with logging-in to the sites. Most of them, anyway….)

Caller: “Good afternoon, sir. I’m having some issues here.”

Me: “That’s what we’re here for! What can I do to help?”

Caller: “Well, I’m sitting here looking at all these beautiful women and, well, I just can’t seem to get an erection.”

Me: “Sir…that is NOT something that I can help you with!”

[Curtis2011]

I had a customer purchase my ebook, which says specifically "This is an electronic book. You will get it in a PDF file. It is not a real book."


Two weeks later he emailed me and said "This is not what I ordered, I ordered a book!"


*facepalm*

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by votoshka

You treat someone with respect until they disrespect you. Then, you ask them to leave (or in this case, you disconnect the call).

If your managers can't back you up on that, it's time to find a new job elsewhere.

Excellent answer.

"Ma'am, I want to help you and am ending this call because you are being abusive. Please phone back later and maybe we can assist you."

I like this approach because it combines both the heart (I want to help you) and the root (am ending this call).

[MagicalRealist]

Years ago, when I was working in a bookstore, I had a semi-regular Customer from Hell. She was just awful--rude, abusive, and never, ever happy with anything. Whenever I picked up the phone and she was at the other end, she was already angry, already belligerent, and it was as if she was waiting for the first opportunity to start flinging insults. And to make matters worse, I always got the impression that she really enjoyed being mean, and got a thrill at throwing people off balance.

In person, she was rude, abrupt and irritable toward employees--while at the same being pleasant to people she was with. If she came into the store and had a friend with her, it was like watching two different people occupying the same body. One was smiling and chatting away to her friend, the other was scowling and barking insults at the person behind the counter.

One afternoon, she came in to pick up a book. She was alone, and nasty and abusive as always. I gave her my best level of blank-faced, coldly polite customer service, refusing to let her get any sort of reaction out of me. As she stood waiting for me to get her books she complained loudly to the woman in line behind her about what incompetents we all were, and how it was no wonder indie bookstores were closing if they hired idiots like me.

The woman she tried to engage as an ally was a psychotherapist with an office in the neighborhood, who happened to be one of my favorite customers. Calm, dignified, thoughtful, and polite, she was the antithesis of my Customer from Hell. And after my CfH finally stormed out (after flinging one last insult over her shoulder on the way to the door), I was so very glad to see her.

As I placed orders for her books, she complimented me on how I'd handled my CfH. Then she said, "People who say things like that to others are often externalizing their own internal dialogues. And what they say to others is nothing compared to what they are constantly saying to themselves."

Something clicked for me when she said that. It suddenly put the behavior of my most annoying customers into perspective. And after that, I started to look at my rude, condescending, impatient, insulting, arrogant and know-it-all customers as if they were talking to themselves, not me.

The ones who rudely demanded respect didn't respect themselves. The ones who tried to make me feel incompetent were terrified of their own incompetency. The ones who were always angry were even angrier at themselves and all their old hurts.

Rotten behavior on the part of my customers had nothing to do with me, I realized, and everything to do with their own misery.

As for my bookstore Customer from Hell? A decade later, while laughing over old Bad Customers stories with friends, I joked that she was probably either a shrink or some sort of woo-woo, love'n'light New Age healing practitioner. When I got home, I was still curious enough to google her.

Turned out she'd killed herself just a few months earlier. She went down to the docks late one night when the place was deserted, took off her clothes, and jumped into the bay. This was no cry for help; she meant it. If she didn't drown first, hypothermia would do her in. There was nobody around to see her do it, much less save her if she changed her mind. Someone found her washed up on the rocks by the fish cannery a couple of days later. The End.

All of that ugliness she spewed at me, my co-workers, and no doubt other clerks, waitstaff, and CS reps over the years? We no longer had to deal with it once she left the store or hung up the phone. But she lived with it--inside it--every single moment of every single day. All that punitive, humiliating, insulting, critical, hostile language she used on us was nothing compared to what she was using on herself. And in the end, she saw only one way to finally escape it.

I didn't think I could ever feel sorry for her, but I did. I pitied her. Still do, in fact.

[Angela]

That is a classic Baby in the Backseat story, MagicRealist. There's always information that you don't have that, if you did have it, would make a big difference in your perspective.

[st33med]

MagicRealist, brilliant post. Most people who emotionally manipulate people, aware or not, are actually needing that certain thing they manipulate for from themselves.

I was one of them that was unaware of my manipulation by crying and wanting/needing sympathy and caring.

[metamorph]

Originally Posted by rainbowgold

I guess a lot of my anger is a pride thing, too--like, aside from the whole scenario basically translating into "forget the stupid employee, YOU are God," I can't accept the fact that an adult can START right of the bat with whining (not just react), and then have the audacity to complain about rudeness. Do you HEAR yourself when you talk!?!?

Sure helps to hear how much you guys understand though!

Maybe she is really only a psycho, or maybe it is just her way to get to speak to the managers, get discounts and get VIP treatment. She probably does it at other stores too. I don't think you had a chance to handle it any differently.
I once worked at a place where someone flew off the handle and asked to speak to the boss. The caller did not realise that it was my boss he was already talking to. My boss just said in a firm tone: "I own this place". The silcence on the other end of phone was priceless.
If your managers do not back you up, go look for a new job. Otherwise you will live in constant terror that one day, another wacko client may get you fired. Some companies record phone calls, which may help.