Some advice on dealing with a difficult teacher?

[Simmiah]

Hi everyone!

I am asking for some advice today & since it was for me dealing with my anger in particular with this teacher I would love some advice.

I have tried out some exercises I read about from Hawkins & also prayed a bit & I believe it will be in effect tomorrow but would love to hear both personal stories & any possible advice about dealing with this person. I am in no doubt that others have dealt with a similar person in their journey through the education system.

I have only had maybe 5-6 teachers in my lifetime I would consider unsuitable for the profession.
Now I am working on a CNA certification since I wish to get into the medical field. I love the residents & prior to this I volunteered in the home so I already got a feel for how unique these people are & they have taught me a lot & I love it. It's very pure how their lives are..in a way.

Anyways my teacher is an RN who I believe isn't working except on a call-in basis at a maternity ward somewhere near here. The last two days of our clinical were very difficult though. & prior to this I had ignored most of her outbursts.

Bear with me this is long:

Firstly, she is very unreasonable. She has yelled at us (I consider raising her voice & snapping/barking as yelling) for doing one thing then yells when we do it. It is confusing. At times I think she is crazy or just irritable. When we are working in our lab & working on skills she yells when we aren't "working" enough.. this counts the time when we glance at our books to check that we have our equipment or steps correct.. she has never once given praise for working & staying on task yet when we set our book down for a minute or two she takes that one moment to snap at how we are not doing enough.

One time she got irritated I did not watch the video exercise for an exercise she wanted to do in Lab that day. However it was not listed on the syllabus & I did the homework for the one listed yet when I suggested it (I repeated after the first one was rebuffed)..she was irritated & acted like I was stupid for not seeing that her exercise was listed in the syllabus. However it was clearly listed as to be done the next day.

She did not make clear our workbooks were to be done every week regardless to receive extra credit. I did not have time the first two weeks due to illness & other stuff needing to be done.. & turned in one week. Apparently, according to her, the books were to be done every week regardless to receive any credit. It was not like other classes where the work done for that chapter gets credit. It is an all-or-nothing deal though it was not verbally stated or written in our syllabus as such. Strange hmm?

I read Gary Zukav's book at lunch one day called "Seat of the Soul" since one of my favorite shows (Oprah) had him on as a guest. She asked me & I mentioned this.. & she snapped "Oh it's that kind of stuff! You know what I don't like about Oprah? She's always the first one to complain about racism!" I had no clue what she was talking about as I have always felt Oprah to be a mature & fair person. Strange huh? She also seemed confused I wasn't reading what she considered good..which she called "smut books" ..I guess romance novels or tabloids or something.

I am not the only one she is snapping at in clinicals. Today at lunch several others in our class talked about how they were yelled at for doing one thing then told not to do it just moments later. She constantly yells at us for things we didn't do such as place gloves in the linen baskets. Today my partner & I were yelled at for this. She the first time. Me..it's been at least 3-4 times now.

This lady also told me in evaluations today that I wasn't assertive enough. However I asked my partner (just to check) & she said "no you do the work"... I told my partner our teacher said I "stand there & wait for instruction" when I don't do this. I am always the first to ask "What do you need me to do to help?" & work in where I can getting linens..or rolling..or assisting. Sometimes I feel this teacher is aggressive hence my passivity (which is very natural..I am a very easy going person) is viewed as foreign & a confusing threat. Is this a wrong assumption? I have not dealt with this particular kind of "teacher" before.

Yesterday she yelled at me and my other partner for not getting the pedals off the wheelchair & snapped, "Don't act like you havent' been here before! What is going on with you?" like we had a problem..yet we had not dealt with this before ..yet we were supposed to know exactly what to do.

Today I was supposed to have all my linens, everything down with my resident in the shower room..yet.. I was given no time to do so & yelled at for being too slow.

I am very upset of course. Today the yelling caused my partner to cry. I am very very upset at this. I am also angry which I am trying to work through with my exercises.

Would you guys consider this abusive? I am thinking it is borderline abusive?

It is very confusing. She is one thing ..then another. If you point out she made a mistake such as not writing "so & so needs this kind of ointment" ...she acts like you should know. Yet when my partner tried to double-check the nursing sheets prior to starting our shift she yelled at us for being slow. Why check? It is written! Yet... it is not written...most of the ointments needed on the sheets she makes up to give to us.

I am getting tired of getting yelled at for things I did not do. What do you do when you have such a teacher? I want to be compassionate as I am sure she is doing only what she knows. She is an ex-military person if that helps. I think this is where she gets her version of "teaching" from. Lots of yelling & shaming. She uses a very rough tone of voice akin to parnts who yell at their children regularly (I consider this poor parenting if it is harsh & abrasive). It seems very condemning the way she behaves. She also seems to be very insensitive & rough around the edges. I don't like the way she treats us .. & honestly, I don't feel she would be a good nurse. She seems only about the physical care & none of the emotional support I would consider a plus in any person-to-person career.

I remember a wise teacher I had in high school considered patience to be the biggest virtue in a teacher. He actually felt it was the main thing to have.

Yet this teacher is not patient at all. She yells all the time at us in lab. She has even spent the last week threatening us with "If you guys don't do skills in lab I will start writing people as absent!" this week. She thinks we are inept, slow, stupid. That is my impression based on the way she regularly speaks to us yet I am getting regular perfects on our quizzes. Hmm. Sometimes I think she barely thinks well of us at all & today.. she even had the nerve to complain of having a bad day when my partner started crying as we rode down to lunch in the elevator.

My partner said, "I am having such a bad day." & our teacher said, "Me too!"...as though..she was not responsible for yelling at us twice. First for a mistake we did make (okay..sure..though I would've liked it without the guilt-tripping & shaming) ... then second for something we DID NOT DO.

That set my partner off. I was livid at that point. Prior to that I was ...okay....getting through it by thinking, "Yes I am here for this resident. I am not here for this teacher but for the greater good which is care for this resident. I must get it together for the resident so I can do the best job I can do!"

She is not always like this & it is confusing but.. it seems her mood changes for no observable reason & at the drop of a hat. Also perhaps some of her attitude that is already pre-set prior to this experience explains her way of "teaching." I do not wish to be harsh on her but I will admit after today, I was so livid for a point in time I almost wanted to judge & condemn her as horrible so I apologize in advance for bringing any of this attitude to this post. I genuinely wish for some advice as I am finding it so difficult in dealing with my own negative attitude that responds to her extremely negative attitude towards us.

Thank you in advance for any help! Thanks much! Any advice on encouraging my own patience & learning to dispel this teacher's negative attitude would be greatly appreciated!

I feel perhaps I can take this unique experience as an opportunity to practice greater patience with those ignorant of their own negative actions. Any advice on how to do so? I have been asking for help..invoking a higher power & such. Thanks again & thanks to anyone who finished reading this extremely long post!

[Love]

That sounds pretty awful! My goodness, that is a like a worst-nightmare story for a student. I don't know what to do...is this teacher responsible for your getting your certification??? I bet some other people will have some good advice for you. What I can do: wish you courage. Good luck!

[Simmiah]

Thanks Love for the encouragement. I've been meditating & asking for guidance about this & courage seems to be the answer. So is compassion for my teacher.

I only have her for 3 more weeks so really.. it's only 6 more days of clinicals where she's at her worst. I was going to talk to another classmate of mine who is my friend about it. Many of us feel really dumped on..but then again, we cannot really confront her.. & it's only 3 weeks.

My certification isn't through her & my grade is up in the class because I do the work for the class. Our exam is done through a board & everything so it should work out well.. in any case I know I am not asking this teacher for any referral for med school. lol!

In any case I've dealt with worse in professors at my college before so.. I sort of have been through this scenario. I realize now that my teacher must be really hating something in her life & bringing it into the classroom a bit & I wonder if her marital problems she's told me about affect her professionality. Thanks again.

[dor]

Simmiah...
I have worked in jobs where i had similar bosses...and one thing (and i wasn' t always perfect with this) i would make sure i told myself - no matter what I am not going to let that person in my head out of the office - I am not going to spend my free time thinking what a jerk that person is. I know it's not easy to do but if the unpleasantness spills over into your free time it just makes things worse.

The funny thing about such bosses/teachers is that when you look back, they often make the most interesting and funny stories - talk to any waitress and they'll spend more time telling your about the customer from hell they had two years ago - and now, they think it's funny.

the other thing you can do is pity them. Just think how sad, miserable this teacher is.

[Tasaio]

Originally Posted by dor

Simmiah...
I have worked in jobs where i had similar bosses...and one thing (and i wasn' t always perfect with this) i would make sure i told myself - no matter what I am not going to let that person in my head out of the office - I am not going to spend my free time thinking what a jerk that person is. I know it's not easy to do but if the unpleasantness spills over into your free time it just makes things worse.

The funny thing about such bosses/teachers is that when you look back, they often make the most interesting and funny stories - talk to any waitress and they'll spend more time telling your about the customer from hell they had two years ago - and now, they think it's funny.

the other thing you can do is pity them. Just think how sad, miserable this teacher is.

I second this. Simmiah, I had a very similar high school teacher (well, many ) who had anger management problems.

This teacher took an active dislike of me, and made my life hell. I even made a suicide attempt one night, to avoid facing school the next day.

I stuck with it, though. And I now realize that this was the biggest mistake I've ever made; I should have switched schools. Other students switched, to avoid getting this teacher, but I felt it wasn't worth it.

The fact I graduated from a prestigious school wasn't worth the abuse and frustration I went through, though.

This is what Steve is talking about, when he mentions the "evil bovine master".

[Billy]

Lets face it Simmiah some people in this world are just ...holes!

[Simmiah]

Thank you all for your replies!

Ironically, once I posted this.. as of today our last week clinicals were very different. Apparently my teacher actually took a sense of perhaps some kind of guilt or had a bout of conscience & actually became overly sensitive to us.

Strange? I think so! I've never seen this before. Anyways, I did a radical forgiveness thing & really let it go & didn't know what to expect coming into last week's clinicals.. & it is the exact opposite.

I could say.. M crying might've made things different. Who knows? But I'll say.. maybe this teacher is learning something & according to old students .. she wasn't usually like this in the last weeks.
Strange!