Popular Quotation: "I have no regrets!"

[NDN Scholar]

How the hell can people have the nerve to say such a statement? Are they stupid? Does it make them feel better? Do they say this to affirm the fact that they've moved past their personal regrets?

I mean, I have plenty of regrets, but I moved past them. It's a process, but it can be done. However, I will never have the nerve to say, "I have no regrets," because I do. Always will. They just don't plague me anymore, that's all.

If I said this statement, it would thus be a lie. But can any human being claim otherwise, I wonder?

[Angela]

You *have* regrets, but you've moved past and they just don't plague you?

What does that mean, to have a regret that you've moved past and doesn't plague you?

What's there when you're present to a regret that you have?

[NDN Scholar]

Hmm.

When thinking about the past and how I acted, there used to be a time when I would feel a deep pain and sadness.

Now when I think about the past, I don't really feel anything negative about it. I laugh about it sometimes, and feel secure by the fact that I know better now than I did back then.

Now I'm confused. Is that what having no regrets mean???

[Angela]

Maybe you have a memory of an event during which you felt some bad feeling, or maybe you have a memory of an event which, if you had the resources you have now, you might have handled differently -- perhaps more effectively?

To me those look like memories and valuable learnings, not regrets.

[Andrew Brunelle]

It's not the regret that is important. It is learning from your regrets. If you learn from the things you did in the past that you wish you didn't do, then you can create a better present and future for yourself. Perhaps those that say, "I have no regrets," have made peace with their past "bad" deeds and are now living more presently. It's a mindset that many have at the end of their careers or at the end of their lives. Perhaps they are just overlooking the bad and seeing mostly good. Either way, I don't have any problem with it, unless they are mass murderers or rapists, or corporate criminals, or just overall a damaging person

[harmonysr]

"I have no regrets," to me, sounds like a simplistic generalization. I think that there are a variety of contexts under which people say it: some people actually truly don't feel regret for the situation(s) that they are referring to, and these people either don't care very much or they do care but have come to an acceptance where they don't feel regret for the choices they have made. However, it is very hard and unlikely that someone says that they have no regrets and actually mean that for all aspects of their life. Because we are human; we are going to make mistakes and look back at certain choices and see better options in hindsight and wish we had made different choices. It's a completely normal cycle. So while I don't think it's very easy or common to actually feel no regrets whatsoever, I do think that feeling regret and trying to learn from it is a natural part in the process of thinking and experiencing and trying to be a better person.

[SarahLuvzYu]

Originally Posted by NDN Scholar

How the hell can people have the nerve to say such a statement? Are they stupid? Does it make them feel better? Do they say this to affirm the fact that they've moved past their personal regrets?

I mean, I have plenty of regrets, but I moved past them. It's a process, but it can be done. However, I will never have the nerve to say, "I have no regrets," because I do. Always will. They just don't plague me anymore, that's all.

If I said this statement, it would thus be a lie. But can any human being claim otherwise, I wonder?

I can say this & mean it. I don't have any regrets. Anything "bad" things that happen to me I've learnt things from them so I don't regret them happening. All experiences in life are a chance to grow & change why waste feeling regretful for them which is why I don't

[NDN Scholar]

Thanks for the input, guys. Sarah, your post reflects the way I feel myself.

But still, there's something about the statement that I'm just not comfortable with. For some reason, it implies that, throughout my life, I haven't been through actions which have caused a feeling of regret for some amount of time. They aren't regrets anymore, but "... valuable learnings."

It's still something I'll likely never say, though. No regrets, that is.

[Illuminatus]

Originally Posted by NDN Scholar

I mean, I have plenty of regrets, but I moved past them. It's a process, but it can be done. However, I will never have the nerve to say, "I have no regrets," because I do. Always will. They just don't plague me anymore, that's all.

A regret is an ongoing feeling of cognitive dissonance caused by an action you have done (or failed to do). It arises due to human's belief they can travel back in time and correct it. People often confuse the ability to project into the past with the ability to actually travel into the past. The feeling like they CAN go back and change it, or that they SHOULD be able to, but for some reason they aren't, leads to the cognitive dissonance. This belief is never logically expressed. If you ask people, they will say "I know I can't go back". The belief is expressed kinaesthetically (emotionally) and via imagery in their mind's eye. The regret is resolved when there is a resolution to the issue via other means, or when that person comes to the understanding that mistakes are part of life, and they will make plenty more, and it is not to be feared, and that there is no growth without experience, both good and bad.

If you aren't feeling regrets kinaesthetically, then you don't have any regrets.

I don't have any regrets. Every action I've performed has led me here, and I love my life, so I can't have any regrets about how I got here.

Understand however that many people do, due to this fallacious sensation that they can literally travel back in time, which stems from their actual ability to project back in time.

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by NDN Scholar

How the hell can people have the nerve to say such a statement? Are they stupid? Does it make them feel better? Do they say this to affirm the fact that they've moved past their personal regrets?

I mean, I have plenty of regrets, but I moved past them. It's a process, but it can be done. However, I will never have the nerve to say, "I have no regrets," because I do. Always will. They just don't plague me anymore, that's all.

If I said this statement, it would thus be a lie. But can any human being claim otherwise, I wonder?

I did some things that were very stupid in the past, but I'm not sure if I regret them. I had to do them to learn. That's just how destiny played out.

I do ponder what would have happened if I hadn't lost my soul mate, but I'm not taking it so heavily any more. Destiny took this turn, and I'm exploring how events play out. I'm learning the lessons that this turn of destiny granted me.

Perhaps in an alternate reality I'm currently exploring how events played out after destiny took the other turn. But this is interesting too. And I have plenty of time in eternity to be with my soul mate, whether it is in this life or the next.

Regrets seem to me like a resistence of what was. You not accepting that you did things a certain way. But you did, so what's the point of continuing to resist? You can't change the past.

Andrew

[Bizarre Jester]

Well sometimes people say that just to let others know that they don't give a ****. Or if they say it enough times they might start to believe it.

[goldberg]

Originally Posted by NDN Scholar

How the hell can people have the nerve to say such a statement? Are they stupid? Does it make them feel better? Do they say this to affirm the fact that they've moved past their personal regrets?

I mean, I have plenty of regrets, but I moved past them. It's a process, but it can be done. However, I will never have the nerve to say, "I have no regrets," because I do. Always will. They just don't plague me anymore, that's all.

If I said this statement, it would thus be a lie. But can any human being claim otherwise, I wonder?

I think that when people say they have no regrets, what they are really saying is that they do not dwell on them.

[AaronB]

Originally Posted by Illuminatus

A regret is an ongoing feeling of cognitive dissonance caused by an action you have done (or failed to do). It arises due to human's belief they can travel back in time and correct it. People often confuse the ability to project into the past with the ability to actually travel into the past. The feeling like they CAN go back and change it, or that they SHOULD be able to, but for some reason they aren't, leads to the cognitive dissonance. This belief is never logically expressed. If you ask people, they will say "I know I can't go back". The belief is expressed kinaesthetically (emotionally) and via imagery in their mind's eye. The regret is resolved when there is a resolution to the issue via other means, or when that person comes to the understanding that mistakes are part of life, and they will make plenty more, and it is not to be feared, and that there is no growth without experience, both good and bad.

If you aren't feeling regrets kinaesthetically, then you don't have any regrets.

I don't have any regrets. Every action I've performed has led me here, and I love my life, so I can't have any regrets about how I got here.

Understand however that many people do, due to this fallacious sensation that they can literally travel back in time, which stems from their actual ability to project back in time.

You're one of my favorite posters on this forum. It's rare for me to read such clear expression. Even though I disagree with some of your perspectives, I don't think that they are unfounded. There's a lot of depth to what you say.

I have often found myself wishing myself into the past. Wishing I could go undo something. I'll call that regret. Wishing I could change the past, and if I could I would have done so instantly. No regrets to me means to be so completely at peace with the past that given an opportunity to go back and change it, I wouldn't.

As you say, the only way to not need to change the past is to realize where it has brought you. Right now is such an amazingly beautiful place. I would not have imagined that life could be as amazing as it is now from my past perspective. Each moment has taught me so much. To wish to undo the past is really a wish to unlearn what I have learned from it, which is a failure to fully digest the lesson that it brought me. Any lesson fully learned leaves me free from the "need" to go back and change the lesson.

The question of regrets seems to relate to the idea of what reality is for. For me the purpose of reality is to become the person I want to be, rather than to accumulate a lot of successful experiences. Being who I want to be is not defined by my experience, but my sense of clarity in this moment. My awareness of the forces that pull me this way and that. When I understand more clearly the forces that act on me, I will have the wisdom to work effectively with all of them. When the forces acting on me are mostly unconscious, then I will feel like I am at the whim of vague but intense emotions dragging me this way and that.

I could also say my goal is to establish a clear communication between emotions and thought. Whenever emotions are experienced as vague, there is a blockage to self understanding. Emotions to me are the feedback to navigation through life lessons. Once a lesson is learned, that type of lesson will no longer produce any emotion, good or bad. But as I travel through the lesson, uncomfortable emotion tells me when I'm getting colder and comfortable emotion tells me that I'm getting warmer.

I have no regrets. Given a time machine, there is nothing I'd go back and change at this moment. It all works out so well in the end!

[pinky3]

It's weird. I often say "I have no regrets" but if I was to be truly honest with myself. It's all just a lie. Because there is no way to turn back the clock. So I'd rather tell myself that there's no reason to.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by goldberg

I think that when people say they have no regrets, what they are really saying is that they do not dwell on them.

I'm sure that's so for some people; it is not so for me.

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by pinky3

It's weird. I often say "I have no regrets" but if I was to be truly honest with myself. It's all just a lie. Because there is no way to turn back the clock. So I'd rather tell myself that there's no reason to.

It's funny, I was thinking what I could do if I could turn back the clock for the one thing that is closest to being a regret in my life. But, I still wouldn't do it. Because that learning experience has made me who I am, and removing the freedom to make that mistake wouldn't have allowed me to grow.

Wow, this must be what it feels like to be a spirit guide

Besides, what is loss? From the right perspective nothing is truly lost. Better said, nothing truly exists. Abundance exists as an energy inside of us, and this is what we experience.

[mati]

I totally agree with NDN... lets think of this example: you raised your voice with your mom when she only tried to make you something good but you were angry about other stuff, then your mom feels bad... aren´t you regret about that ?, dont you fell bad about that?..so , can you possibely feel no regrets all the time?... I think thats impossible. Feelings are the things that guide us to walk a chosen path... you choose to be a good son (to stay in this same example), and you did something a good son wouldnt make (acording to you), your feeling, or emotions of regret will tell you that you are not following your chosen path and this will make you correct your future actions. the point here is that we all regret, but the key here is to learn from that regret and let it go... cause you know that you did it, but you dont want to do it later on...