Attention = Humiliation

[Bookmaker]

I've always had a probem being the centre of attention. Whether the attention was negative or positive I always wished the ground would open and swallow me up. This has helped shape a mediocre life in which I have never stepped up to the plate to meet challenges.

After many years of trying to figure why I felt and reacted this way I came to realise that attention equalled humiliaion, which is exactly how I felt. Then it dawned on me that, as a child, whenever I or my siblings did anything my father perceived as wrong he would chastise us publicly, his favourite expression being "Who do you think you are?"

Now that I am armed with this knowledge it should be easy to push forward and achieve all those things I ever wanted to right? Well, not that simple. Being aware is not the only key that unlocks the door, I still can't rid myself of that fear that has been there for over 50 years and there is stll so much I want to do. How does someone push past that fear?

[Entelechy]

Hi Bookmaker,

The first step of solving a problem is awareness - so you have that down. The second step is desire / willingness to change - you have that as well.

Now, it's just a matter of actually facing it. Yes, that's much easier said than done, I agree. But to get the results you are looking for (and the life you dream of), it still has to be done nonetheless.

I would write a nice-sized post to assist you with this , but I think Steve Pavlina already has that covered. Hope this helps:

Education Kills Fear

Whatever You Fear, You Must Face

[Undercurrent]

I upbringing was repressive. My parents too always fired me with many shut-ups. I really had to shut up my mouth in point of fact. Now I live with an inferiority complex.

The panacea, one and only I think is to try to unleash it and deal with it courageously. There are no pills that help. Life is a big game and all else is insignificant. My only recommendation, in fact out of my experiences and that worked for me is think coolly and do not hold anything in great importance.

[Angelique]

Toastmasters can help but honestly, I would call Angela. She can help you and she's awesome.