my parents are crazy mean beings.

[anusha]

i have barbaric parents who have been driving me crazy from when i was a kid!
they have a problem with everything i do, and when they yell at me and when i try to explain, they say we are your well wishers, we would never do anything to hurt you ..blah blah..they yell at me for every god damn thing!
namely- my dogs barking, or if i'm not at home when my dad comes( he needs everything, from tea to be given to him in his hand), if they had a bad day at work.. and the worst of all, if i try to justify.. they start their comparisons with my sister, cousins, friend's children..
and because of this i'm pretty messed up in my head and i keep throwing out anger randomly cause i cant keep it in anymore.
and thats horrible cause people now think im a short tempered always irritated kinda person which i'm not.
they have a problem if i talk to people outside my house, cause in India , it is always about 'what the society thinks'
i'm starting to hate them, and it is not my fault!

[ssandra]

Are you looking for a solution here, or just venting?

If it is just venting, I'd like to point you to the special thread we have for that right here: James and Rei's Rant Party v. No Advice Allowed

If you want some advice, it may help to actually ask a question.

Please remember that it states in the forum rules that "pity parties" are not allowed....

[lookcloser]

How are you planning on dealing with it?

[lookcloser]

Its perfectly fine to Rant(In the appropriate thread). But you seem to only blame THEM for everything. Of course they INFLUENCED you to be the way you are. But now you KNOW that they are a strong influence.
So, what do you plan on doing regarding it? The first thing you can do ASK for help here.
I really hope you do

[Arun Skumar]

I can understand, parents can be quit irrational at times and for some all the time.

Want to know what kind of solution you are looking for and how are you planning to deal with it ?

[anusha]

i am not venting, i need help! i want to make them understand that they cant control everything i do, that they shouldn't make me their puppet. they force their dreams on me. i started off yesterday by telling them this, and that provoked them for god knows what reason, and they yelled at me louder.

[machoman]

Originally Posted by anusha

i have barbaric parents who have been driving me crazy from when i was a kid!
they have a problem with everything i do, and when they yell at me and when i try to explain, they say we are your well wishers, we would never do anything to hurt you ..blah blah..they yell at me for every god damn thing!
namely- my dogs barking, or if i'm not at home when my dad comes( he needs everything, from tea to be given to him in his hand), if they had a bad day at work.. and the worst of all, if i try to justify.. they start their comparisons with my sister, cousins, friend's children..
and because of this i'm pretty messed up in my head and i keep throwing out anger randomly cause i cant keep it in anymore.
and thats horrible cause people now think im a short tempered always irritated kinda person which i'm not.
they have a problem if i talk to people outside my house, cause in India , it is always about 'what the society thinks'
i'm starting to hate them, and it is not my fault!

Well, your situation just looks similar to me. My mom always used to scold me for anything and everything a while ago and I get angry at her and started arguing with her for her behavior towards me.
Recently I found that when my mom argues with me for things i do(which,she feels is not right for me), I would completely ignore those and do something else.

If you completely ignore your parents when they are showing their anger towards you, ignore them completely at that moment.
Act as if you didn't hear them. (If you have i pod or smoething, listen to it when they scold you).Also note that if you do this, then they would get so pissed of.Resist the temptation to argue with them . If you do this, then after sometime they would just stop arguing with you.

[lookcloser]

Originally Posted by anusha

i am not venting, i need help! i want to make them understand that they cant control everything i do, that they shouldn't make me their puppet. they force their dreams on me. i started off yesterday by telling them this, and that provoked them for god knows what reason, and they yelled at me louder.

AGAIN, I just want to know that you realize you CAN change how you react to this situation right? (And venting is good, just do it in the other thread people are sick of venting after the epic Rockchick thread, I went a little nuts after the 50th page lol)

You are responsible for your emotions. Period.

[lookcloser]

Originally Posted by machoman

If you do this, then after sometime they would just stop arguing with you.

Or MAYBE they won't. But that shouldn't matter. Make yourself so strong and grounded that what they say or do won't affect you.
You can begin by forgiving them. That way, you won't treat your parents as an enemy figure(Someone to fight against), they are just human beings who are not compatible with you at this point in time and space. All you CAN do is forgive, love and learn and grow from this situation.

This articles helped ME a lot to cope initially.
Picking Our Parents and Our Life Circumstances

[Hulbert Lee]

Originally Posted by anusha

i have barbaric parents who have been driving me crazy from when i was a kid!
they have a problem with everything i do, and when they yell at me and when i try to explain, they say we are your well wishers, we would never do anything to hurt you ..blah blah..they yell at me for every god damn thing!
namely- my dogs barking, or if i'm not at home when my dad comes( he needs everything, from tea to be given to him in his hand), if they had a bad day at work.. and the worst of all, if i try to justify.. they start their comparisons with my sister, cousins, friend's children..
and because of this i'm pretty messed up in my head and i keep throwing out anger randomly cause i cant keep it in anymore.
and thats horrible cause people now think im a short tempered always irritated kinda person which i'm not.
they have a problem if i talk to people outside my house, cause in India , it is always about 'what the society thinks'
i'm starting to hate them, and it is not my fault!

I feel the same way too. My parents are often times arguing over money and it's very annoying. Mom my nags a lot and my dad, when he gets angry, explodes and yells. It's embarrassing because I have to close the window or the neighbors will think our family is going through verbal abuse. We've already got a note before in the past and my dad just laughed it off. I understand what it feels like when you say that your parents are crazy mean beings because often times, I think my parents are crazy too. But inside, they probably love you more than anything.

[Angela]

Who's in charge of your state?

[Federer]

Originally Posted by anusha

i have barbaric parents who have been driving me crazy from when i was a kid!
they have a problem with everything i do, and when they yell at me and when i try to explain, they say we are your well wishers, we would never do anything to hurt you ..blah blah..they yell at me for every god damn thing!
namely- my dogs barking, or if i'm not at home when my dad comes( he needs everything, from tea to be given to him in his hand), if they had a bad day at work.. and the worst of all, if i try to justify.. they start their comparisons with my sister, cousins, friend's children..
and because of this i'm pretty messed up in my head and i keep throwing out anger randomly cause i cant keep it in anymore.
and thats horrible cause people now think im a short tempered always irritated kinda person which i'm not.
they have a problem if i talk to people outside my house, cause in India , it is always about 'what the society thinks'
i'm starting to hate them, and it is not my fault!

I can understand your emotional stress. Sometimes parents need to understand, but in such situation you have to be in charge.

As indian man, i can tell you if you prove them you are a completely free being then they will shut down automatically. They are yelling at you and treating you like 3-4 yrs kid, is all because they are superly stressed and they have other responsibilities in their life. May be they don't know how to control them. May be they need some support from people and may be they are believing something else different by mistake.

when they yell at you or ask very critical questions, just give them straight answer. By doing this, they will be cool. They will think you are listening to them and they will try to behave with you with proper manner. Not in that aggressive manner. Say this with calm voice: I am your kid and you can treat me with water, air and love. not by crushing me. Use very powerful affirmations which can significant difference. go for winifinities. let them know, their win is your win and your win is theirs. This will take lot of time and dedication. You can do it because you have got nice discussion forums where you can receive powerful ideas.

Try to understand why and when they behave with you awkwardly. You will be able to figure how to reply them effectively and make them cool. Such people don't know anger is such a bad temper and they can't control anger. Try to give up focusing on bad consequences. Did you figure out them yet?