Is There Hope for Those with Low-Self Esteem?

[AVTechman]

Why is self-esteem so important?

I have fought with low-self esteem all of my life thanks to my mother over the years. And because of this it has cost me many things, including some potential relationships in the past because of it. And sometimes now I feel as if there's no hope for me. Since women obviously can sniff out so many signals from men, then it seems already that I am doomed because of the fact that I have constantly struggled with my self-esteem and therefore as a result get overlooked.

They say that you have to love yourself first...okay that is a true statement. But how does one love themself??? What would it take for a person who has struggled with something their whole life to be someone that would be a potential catch for someone in the future?? At my age, I sometimes fear that I will grow old and alone because I have family members now in their 50's that are still alone (maybe by choice, not sure).

Is there any hope for people like me?? Or am I a lost cause??

[SatvikBeri]

There are lots of techniques to try, and what works for one person may or may not work for another.

You can try the Lefkoe Method here: ReCreate Your Life

One thing that helped me get over a lot of guilt (which is a natural barrier to self-esteem) is the basic ho'oponopono chant:

I love you
I'm sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you

I went into an alpha state and said it to the universe, focusing on any source of guilt I could think of. I'd say that reduced the guilt I was carrying around by about 90%, which has really, really made my life better.

[hamworld05]

Originally Posted by AVTechman

Why is self-esteem so important?

I have fought with low-self esteem all of my life thanks to my mother over the years. And because of this it has cost me many things, including some potential relationships in the past because of it. And sometimes now I feel as if there's no hope for me. Since women obviously can sniff out so many signals from men, then it seems already that I am doomed because of the fact that I have constantly struggled with my self-esteem and therefore as a result get overlooked.

They say that you have to love yourself first...okay that is a true statement. But how does one love themself??? What would it take for a person who has struggled with something their whole life to be someone that would be a potential catch for someone in the future?? At my age, I sometimes fear that I will grow old and alone because I have family members now in their 50's that are still alone (maybe by choice, not sure).

Is there any hope for people like me?? Or am I a lost cause??

You want to be awesome, all right. There's 3 ways to be awesome, but you want to be with the ladies. So there's two ways: Be physically awesome. There is something about being truely manly that just commands women. I'm on this route myself, and it's a nice route.


There's another way: Being socially awesome. How do you do that? I have no idea. This is why google is my best friend. There's this e-book from this website called Popular - How to Become Popular that's supposed to help you get popular/socially awesome. If you try it and it works for you, tell me. I want to know for sure if it works and you could be my guinea pig.

[AaronB]

Originally Posted by AVTechman

Why is self-esteem so important?

I have fought with low-self esteem all of my life thanks to my mother over the years. And because of this it has cost me many things, including some potential relationships in the past because of it. And sometimes now I feel as if there's no hope for me. Since women obviously can sniff out so many signals from men, then it seems already that I am doomed because of the fact that I have constantly struggled with my self-esteem and therefore as a result get overlooked.

They say that you have to love yourself first...okay that is a true statement. But how does one love themself??? What would it take for a person who has struggled with something their whole life to be someone that would be a potential catch for someone in the future?? At my age, I sometimes fear that I will grow old and alone because I have family members now in their 50's that are still alone (maybe by choice, not sure).

Is there any hope for people like me?? Or am I a lost cause??

Take some form of expressive dance class with a private tutor. When you become more comfortable with your physical expression you will naturally be attractive because people are attracted to people who feel comfortable in their own skin. At the moment you're not. Once you're more comfortable take a dance class with other people.

Once you're comfortable with being in your own skin join a theater group. Get used to expressing something whether you feel it or not. The whole idea of being sincere and honest and saying what you really feel is just bs. Recognize it for what it is. Say what the other person wants to here. Get over yourself. How you feel doesn't matter.

If you were really content with who you were, you wouldn't really care if you had a relationship or not. From where you are standing at the moment, I don't think you are willing to let go of this social construct. So you might as well learn to play the game.

Also if you've already listened to this Abraham Hicks video, listen to it again:
YouTube - Abe Hicks on low self esteem and connection

[AaronB]

The Steve Pavlina Forum will make a man out of you!
YouTube - Mulan - i'll make a man out of you

[starlequin]

YouTube - Rocky Horror Picture Show - Charles Atlas Song/ I Can Make You A Man

[scotthegeek]

I just found the the psych file podcast. here is a podcast on self esteem

Episode 9: How Do You Really Raise Self-Esteem? The Incredibles vs. American Idol ? The Psych Files Podcast