I screwed up my life.

[ProjectX]

Basically I screwed up academically and socially in college. I feel like I wasted my life. My plan was to transfer to community college to a university. But I fell in to a deep depression and only came out with a General Business Diploma and a 2.5 GPA. I never made any real friends or had a girlfriend and social life due to my social anxiety.
Because of this I am in a very difficult situation right now and I missed out on a golden opportunity. I put my family in a lot financial strain as well as they helped me go to school.

I yearn to go back to the past when I started school and do everything differently. I see many people my age going to university, getting a job and enjoying life and I feel like I am missing out on so much.
My life seems really crap and my future outlook seems bad. I just don't know how to handle this or what to do now. I have no money and little prospect to find a proper job.

[lifetimelearner]

you cannot change the past but you can change your perception of today -
take failure out replace with- attempted but it didn't work out

I know you feel bad because your parents paid money out for college
but all you can do is apologize

now you have to re-assess your life and see where you want it to lead you

so take the energy you have been putting into negative thinking and put it into reading and learning about yourself and life

it's going to be okay

[zeitgeist]

Originally Posted by ProjectX

Basically I screwed up academically and socially in college. I feel like I wasted my life. My plan was to transfer to community college to a university. But I fell in to a deep depression and only came out with a General Business Diploma and a 2.5 GPA. I never made any real friends or had a girlfriend and social life due to my social anxiety.
Because of this I am in a very difficult situation right now and I missed out on a golden opportunity. I put my family in a lot financial strain as well as they helped me go to school.

I yearn to go back to the past when I started school and do everything differently. I see many people my age going to university, getting a job and enjoying life and I feel like I am missing out on so much.
My life seems really crap and my future outlook seems bad. I just don't know how to handle this or what to do now. I have no money and little prospect to find a proper job.

The good news, you have a degree, so you can start somewhere. If you knock on enough doors, one will open. Your big problem appears to be the social anxiety disorder - overcoming this is hard work - I am an introvert myself so I have some idea how you must feel like - but you can tackle this issue like every other one - one step at a time, or in your case, one conversation at a time. This community is here to help.

Wishing yourself back into the past is an illusion - every moment is a new beginning and a new golden opportunity to do everything better. Good luck with everything!

Zeitgeist

[roxyruby]

hay,

thats great you have those qualifications!

I couldn't even complete high school cause of my anxiety and depression

Chin up!

Many successful entrepreneurs and business people don't have qualifications, you don't need them, think out of the box.

If you're doing the best you know how to do, why worry?

I guess ask your self, what is my life values? What is important to me? What do I have to help other people? Then focus on that, taking one step at a time

What golden opportunity did you miss out on? You can do whatever you want at any age.

Any aged person can go to university or classes can they not? Discrimination of age and learning is not allowed is it?

Use law of attraction too....I've been lazy with it recently......but I have a twitter feed that I post affirmations and tips for wealth in, from books I read and stuff, and affirmations I think of

Productivity Wealth (givehigher) on Twitter

keep us posted on how things go for you!

Also, yo social anxiety. You can check out my website www.sociallypostive.com

youtube YouTube - NoSocialAnxiety's Channel

twitter Social Anxiety Help (NoSocialAnxiety) on Twitter

See you don't have to have big expensive qualifications to make a positive difference in peoples lives like I did

[Crushable]

I am going to be more practical than everyone else here,

yea you screwed up, but you know what? Everyone screws up. I switched majors in college to get a "safe job", ruined my gpa because it was a math oriented topic that bored me to tears, landed a job I hated and was fired.

This was a few years back. I was definetly saying to myself why oh why did I switch majors. If only I could go back in time, my life is over, I am missing out, etc. But life has a way of working out. It did for me.

We all had those moments that we wish "if only".

Remember, we are all here on earth to learn. Each one of us has our own unique challenges to overcome during our time here.

What you really need is a sense of hope, something to work towards, something that inspires you.

Right now you feel completly lost and that your missing out. You are missing out. But not because your not doing what everyone else is doing, but because your not doing what YOU want to do.

You compare you're life to someone elses, and think well I'm 27 now I should be getting married like other 27 yr olds, but I don't have a girlfriend...I am a failure! This kind of thinking is nonsense.

To find "hope" you need to discover what you want. What do you want to be doing. Ask yourself the magic wand question to help get you going. And you have to overcome your social anxiety, or at least keep it in its place.

[catalyst]

You can change the situation at any moment in time.

There is no 'standard' or benchmark you have to meet.

When I first started University, I fell into a bad group, and made some bad decisions - ended up being suspended.

I took some time off, transferred to a different University, (who would only take me part time) but I did well then got back into the full-time program and graduated near the top of my class. I was 2-3 years older than everyone else in my class, but I didn't let it get in the way. Who cares what other people think - I define what success is, and that means doing your best and giving it all you have.

However low you feel you've fallen, what is stopping you from getting back up and taking charge of your life? Stop with the self-pity - it serves no purpose.

In every failure there is something valuable to be gained.

[AjaTrinidad]

I always say, you can never make such bold statements as "I screwed up my life" when your life isn't even over yet. Sure, things didn't go the way you planned, but that's life! The only thing you should think about is what you're going to do now. Don't spend so much time focusing on the "mistakes" you made in the past. You can't change what's happened. You can only change what's happening now.

[ellie]

I screwed up too, when I was younger...I pretty much failed high school and I spent a number of years dwelling on it, but actually it was a blessing in disguise, because the determination within myself to prove myself got me to where I am today.

I relate though, at the time I was devastated and just thought I was stupid and always be a failure...it becomes a vicious cycle, but I believe anyone into personal development, is always going to find a solution to a problem....eventually.

People in PD have a drive, that sets them apart. They search, the ponder and then they find answers/solutions.

When you fail it something like school, you need to think of other ways to approach your goals...you need to think outside the square. Oh and are you entrepreneurial? If so that maybe why you didn't do so well at school.

[Noelle]

Don't give up, your life is not over until you stop breathing. You can still go to university, just apply to different ones. And stop comparing your achievements to others', only compare them to your past!

[The Unconquered]

Originally Posted by ProjectX

Basically I screwed up academically and socially in college. I feel like I wasted my life. My plan was to transfer to community college to a university. But I fell in to a deep depression and only came out with a General Business Diploma and a 2.5 GPA. I never made any real friends or had a girlfriend and social life due to my social anxiety.
Because of this I am in a very difficult situation right now and I missed out on a golden opportunity. I put my family in a lot financial strain as well as they helped me go to school.

I yearn to go back to the past when I started school and do everything differently. I see many people my age going to university, getting a job and enjoying life and I feel like I am missing out on so much.
My life seems really crap and my future outlook seems bad. I just don't know how to handle this or what to do now. I have no money and little prospect to find a proper job.

This guy graduated with a 2.9 GPA. EDIT: I know this because he noted the irony himself when he spoke at my college graduation, where they announced they were going to name my college's school of journalism after him. This other guy had a 2.35 GPA when he graduated. I think they both think they're doing OK now. So don't let a number define your future. I personally also find it good to remember that the best opportunities in my life sprouted from missed ones. "When God closes a door, He opens a window."

Hope that helped a little.

[180]

No matter what your GPA you are likely to find the same job. GPA is not a determining factor in whether or not you get hired. It's more likely the impression you make at an interview OR your connections.

Very rarely has someone look at my 2.7 GPA (I'm a lazy genius lol) and said "go away". Its usually how well the interview goes. I remember one interview and the guy saying "wow I really like how you smile" (truth be told I was nervous as hell). I got hired for the job.

Another time my GPA did come into factor when actually applying. They requested a 3.5+ GPA But I pushed and asked for an interview anyways. IT was a data mining corporation for financial reporting. Ultimately I was allowed into the interview with my low GPA unfortunately I had no idea WTF they were talking about throughout the interview so it didn't go so well. My low GPA didn't matter but it was that I was clueless during the interview that destroyed my chances.

Humans are more likely to make decisions on their emotional side than their logical side. This is a well known fact. Your resume and GPA is the logical, but the interview is the emotional aspect.

Don't worry you get out into the real world and realize that your degree means squat, GPA matters diddly, and all the things you worked for are totally irrelevant when you end up working at a cold calling center.

l

[The Unconquered]

Originally Posted by 180

Don't worry you get out into the real world and realize that your degree means squat, GPA matters diddly, and all the things you worked for are totally irrelevant when you end up working at a cold calling center.

You did that too, huh?

[lookcloser]

Originally Posted by ProjectX

Basically I screwed up academically and socially in college. I feel like I wasted my life. My plan was to transfer to community college to a university. But I fell in to a deep depression and only came out with a General Business Diploma and a 2.5 GPA. I never made any real friends or had a girlfriend and social life due to my social anxiety.
Because of this I am in a very difficult situation right now and I missed out on a golden opportunity. I put my family in a lot financial strain as well as they helped me go to school.

I yearn to go back to the past when I started school and do everything differently. I see many people my age going to university, getting a job and enjoying life and I feel like I am missing out on so much.
My life seems really crap and my future outlook seems bad. I just don't know how to handle this or what to do now. I have no money and little prospect to find a proper job.

I can identify with so much of that, especially wanting to go back to school and doing things differently, putting family through financial strain and not making friends. I can say that I did almost the exact same thing as you. I sulked about it for a LONG LONG time. I can say I still have to work through a little residual regret I have about not working hard enough before. but I know I'll get it all over with soon.

I think you gotta first start working on accepting your situation as it is. Look at the brighter side of things , at least you didn't turn into a heroine addict with syphilis and a part of some kinda nazi cult thing
Believe me when i tell you this, everything you have experienced so far in your life, that is not studying, social anxiety etc has manifested to yourself so you can learn something. Ever life experience is valid. None of it is a 'waste'.

Once you recognize this, start setting some newer goals, the ones you are passionate about and will not fail at it even if you were paid to do so. Or if you don't know what you are passionate about just yet, then some SOME goal, any goal is better than NO goal. Its never 'late'. The situation you are in (A diploma in business with a 2.5 GPA) can give rise to challenges that you can learn and grow from. Don't compare yourself to others and torture yourself. Doesn't do good to anyone!

Come to peace with things, get over the guilt(Guilt is an over-rated emotion, a powerful tool used for manipulation, guilt is bull ****!) and you know how they say every waking moment is an opportunity for growth. You will be surprised at how everything is gonna start going your way Good luck!

[The Unconquered]

Originally Posted by lookcloser

I think you gotta first start working on accepting your situation as it is. Look at the brighter side of things , at least you didn't turn into a heroine addict with syphilis and a part of some kinda nazi cult thing

LOL. Hitler didn't turn out so well at the end, did he? And did he really do heroin?

[180]

Originally Posted by The Unconquered

You did that too, huh?

You too?

Yep 2 different call centers.

I was lured by the money.

[lookcloser]

Originally Posted by The Unconquered

LOL. Hitler didn't turn out so well at the end, did he? And did he really do heroin?

Lol my History teacher told me that she was certain heroine was the prime cause of the Holocaust. She would bull **** quiet often, I don't know who made her the history teacher.

[The Unconquered]

Originally Posted by 180

You too?

Yep 2 different call centers.

I was lured by the money.

I was lured by getting off unemployment.

[carenkh]

It sounds like somewhere along the way you absorbed the belief that there's a direction one's life is supposed to take, and it can only proceed in one way: school, college, job - and anything outside of that is screwing up.

Well - not so. Brush off those arbitrary societal expectations, and ask yourself: 'What do I want? What do I want to do?' Then go do that. If you're not used to looking within, and getting in touch, it will take some practice listening, and that's OK. The more you do it, the easier it will be.

A question that's been valuable to me is, "If I had unlimited money, energy & time, what would I do?" I can visualize what I really, really want that way, and I know if I can see it, there are ways to make it happen. If you have some healing to do, your vision might be what you would call 'lazy' at first: lounging on a beach, etc. Find a way to do that for a bit! Once you start doing what YOU are inspired to do, more inspiration will come. Honest.

Music & Life

I have also found that what I believed were 'mistakes' along my way have usually aided me in some way later in my life - what I learned has helped me. All the little pieces of my life come together eventually. No regrets!

[WomenLiveYourDream]

Originally Posted by ProjectX

Basically I screwed up academically and socially in college. I feel like I wasted my life. My plan was to transfer to community college to a university. But I fell in to a deep depression and only came out with a General Business Diploma and a 2.5 GPA. I never made any real friends or had a girlfriend and social life due to my social anxiety.
Because of this I am in a very difficult situation right now and I missed out on a golden opportunity. I put my family in a lot financial strain as well as they helped me go to school.

I yearn to go back to the past when I started school and do everything differently. I see many people my age going to university, getting a job and enjoying life and I feel like I am missing out on so much.
My life seems really crap and my future outlook seems bad. I just don't know how to handle this or what to do now. I have no money and little prospect to find a proper job.

You can go back to uni, but not to the past. There is no such thing as failure - only feedback or results - some good, some not so good. You have chosen your path to learn from your choices & your resulting actions & results. Learn from your experience. The uni, marry, kids path is not for everyone.

Many of the worlds wealthiest & most successful entrepeneurs do not have a formal degree in anything ... but they do have a degree in courage & following their heart. Check out Sir Richard Branson. Wasn't Bill Gates a drop out?

[Leondegrance]

It's as simple as pushing the RESET button. That's what a good night's sleep is for. And here's the big bonus: You get to keep your experience points!

_____________
Learn by doing.

[Savage]

Aren't you grateful you're not in jail?

I would have been overflowing with gratitude to be in your situation at one time.

How can you not be grateful? Are you that blind to how lucky you are?

[The Unconquered]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Aren't you grateful you're not in jail?

I would have been overflowing with gratitude to be in your situation at one time.

How can you not be grateful? Are you that blind to how lucky you are?

Good point. OP, have you read how Steve flunked out of college and ended up in jail in "The Meaning of Life: Intro" and when he later returned to college and graduated at the top of his class in 3 semesters in "Do It Now"?

[PraetorianX]

I think there are so many of us that can relate to a lot that has been said here. I myself, when I look back on my high school days, find that I didn't apply myself as much as I would have liked to now. I hated it at the time, but when we are younger, there is a lot more in our worlds that seem SO important that aren't.

When we are young, one hour can change everything. When we are older, we look to get those hours back. My high school life, I was a loner and didn't mix in with any of the normal cliques.

College life, I drifted through it wanting to change who I was and what I had become. Two colleges and 6 years of school and working through it, I finally graduated, oddly enough with a degree in psychology. I thought it would help me understand myself.

Believe me, the degree is a stepping stone for your future. No matter what form the paper takes, it is a "foot in the door" item. You can then use yourself to get yourself a job. But please find something that you will enjoy. If you take a job you don't like, you can loose yourself all over again. I am starting to drown in the murky waters of my life, but I haven't given up yet.

So yes, you can screw up. But life doesn't end there. Turn yourself around a couple times and try and find the places you are good at and make your life better. Noone is going to do it for you. Good news though...people here believe you can change. So there is a small step in the right direction.

[xfactor]

Originally Posted by ProjectX

Basically I screwed up academically and socially in college. I feel like I wasted my life. My plan was to transfer to community college to a university. But I fell in to a deep depression and only came out with a General Business Diploma and a 2.5 GPA. I never made any real friends or had a girlfriend and social life due to my social anxiety.
Because of this I am in a very difficult situation right now and I missed out on a golden opportunity. I put my family in a lot financial strain as well as they helped me go to school.

I yearn to go back to the past when I started school and do everything differently. I see many people my age going to university, getting a job and enjoying life and I feel like I am missing out on so much.
My life seems really crap and my future outlook seems bad. I just don't know how to handle this or what to do now. I have no money and little prospect to find a proper job.

I think it all happened because your plan was not really yours. Seems like you're suffering because you didn't come up to the standards someone else has defined for you.

Can it be it was your parents? Can it be you're feeling guilty because they're constantly blaming you (even subconsciously) for not getting high grades?

Whatever your situation is, I think you should seriously reevaluate your life goals, and waste those that were forced upon you by others. You're not here to comply to someone's rules! You're a human being that has the right to live the life of his choice - and never let anyone take that away from you.

[Joe Black]

As most have said in this thread, you cannot go back in time and change what you have already done, so all the worry and feeling in the bad won't do a thing for you.

And as Steve said, many, many people on this earth are in a situation FAR worse than you. Sounds like you have a roof over your head, your health, family and friends, so things are not as bad as you make it.

Trust me, you haven't screwed up your life.

Also, understand that you don't have to be acedemic to be successfull in this world. I didn't go to University and did all types of lame things in my life in the past and by the age of 30 was earning more than all my friends my age and started a business which I now run today.

Get out of this state you are in and decide that you will do everything it takes to learn how to accumulate the wealth you want and put it into practice.

[xfactor]

Originally Posted by Joe Black

As most have said in this thread, you cannot go back in time and change what you have already done, so all the worry and feeling in the bad won't do a thing for you.

And as Steve said, many, many people on this earth are in a situation FAR worse than you. Sounds like you have a roof over your head, your health, family and friends, so things are not as bad as you make it.

Trust me, you haven't screwed up your life.

Also, understand that you don't have to be acedemic to be successfull in this world. I didn't go to University and did all types of lame things in my life in the past and by the age of 30 was earning more than all my friends my age and started a business which I now run today.

Get out of this state you are in and decide that you will do everything it takes to learn how to accumulate the wealth you want and put it into practice.

Having a roof over your head is good, but I've seen many cases where people from wealthy families who were seemingly well provided for were going nuts because of what's really was going on between them and their parents.

PraetorianX, I still think it's time for you to seriously reconsider your strategy and decide if it's really yours - and what do you really want to do with your life.

[ProjectX]

Originally Posted by Crushable

To find "hope" you need to discover what you want. What do you want to be doing. Ask yourself the magic wand question to help get you going. And you have to overcome your social anxiety, or at least keep it in its place.

Yes I know. I would like to do film/CGI but as always there is the issue of will I make it in such an industry? And money of course.

Originally Posted by Noelle

Don't give up, your life is not over until you stop breathing. You can still go to university, just apply to different ones. And stop comparing your achievements to others', only compare them to your past!

I can always go back to university but if I do I will have to support myself and be a full time student, I don't know if I would be able to manage.

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Aren't you grateful you're not in jail?

I would have been overflowing with gratitude to be in your situation at one time.

How can you not be grateful? Are you that blind to how lucky you are?

I realize that there are people in far worse position than me like having a criminal record or been to jail.
But I had these expectations for myself which I failed miserably.

The other day a guy I was talking to same age as me told me stories of experiences he had in university and it just made me feel terrible inside. Not to mention I wasted a crap load of my family's money.
Right now my situation isn't that pretty in terms of financial and relationship. I have contemplated suicide many times because I can't take it anymore.

[GhostGoat]

Originally Posted by ProjectX

Yes I know. I would like to do film/CGI but as always there is the issue of will I make it in such an industry? And money of course.

I knew a guy who was a heroin addict 25 years ago, who went on to be one of the CGI FX guys on the Matrix. When there's a will, there's a way... sounds like you have your life together much more than your realize. Things may not be perfect and exactly how you'd like them to be, but you have a solid foundation from which to go forward and pursue your next goals. Don't let a negative outlook hold you back.

Good luck.

[xfactor]

Originally Posted by ProjectX

I realize that there are people in far worse position than me like having a criminal record or been to jail.
But I had these expectations for myself which I failed miserably.

The other day a guy I was talking to same age as me told me stories of experiences he had in university and it just made me feel terrible inside. Not to mention I wasted a crap load of my family's money.
Right now my situation isn't that pretty in terms of financial and relationship. I have contemplated suicide many times because I can't take it anymore.

Still seems to me that those are not your expectations you failed, but the expectations someone else imposed on you. You keep saying about wasting your family money - and I want to ask you again if that's something your mom and dad keep telling you?

[ProjectX]

Originally Posted by xfactor

Still seems to me that those are not your expectations you failed, but the expectations someone else imposed on you. You keep saying about wasting your family money - and I want to ask you again if that's something your mom and dad keep telling you?

No it wasn't imposed on me. My parents never forced me to do it. I just wanted to go to college but I guess for the wrong reason or I didn't have a reason at all. But at least if I did ok but I wouldn't be in this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ situation right now.