Resisting temptations in your life

[pdnewbie]

I'm surprised there hasn't been discussion in this area of personal development. Perhaps the language used is different. I think the short answer is that it's much like weight training; build your resistance to it. But it would be nice to view the problem from this perspective.

[Dietrie]

Another way of looking at it is living life the opposite of what you are resisted to. Focusing your energies on the positives in your life instead of on the negatives of what you are struggling with.

Instead of, for example, saying "I need or want alcohol" one could say, "I am happy and healthy and greatful for me and I am doing positive and healthy things for myself." Or whatever positive affirmation you want to say.

I will give you a direct example from my own experiece. If you believe in the whole LoA bit, and "asking, believing, gratitude, action" etc or however it goes, then you will understand me better.
There was a behaviour that I struggled with daily, even many times a day.
I would pray to God every night for helping me overcome my suffering.
Then I realized I was looking at it wrong.

Instead, I started to be thankful for being in a mode of recovery. I started to see improvement... but still had setbacks. I said to myself.... "I don't want to be suffering. I don't want to be recovering. I want to be RECOVERED."

So every night and every day I'd pray and meditate on how greatful I felt for being happy, healthy, and recovered. And I realized the more I did this, the more the negative behaviours and impulse for the negative behaviours fell away from me.

It is HARD work but MUCH easier than using good ol will power. It's a matter of taking responsibility for what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling, and not letting things come up to the point of a yes or no choice, but taking care of it, and myself, before that point, to build me up with strength and love and to have other things in place, ready to go so that whatever the impulse might have been, is not even present. It has made a DRASTIC improvement in my life.

And it is VERY hard to do it alone, it's easier when you have the support of others. BUT-- it is very empowering to be able to be accountable to yourself at the end of the day. It just makes the good feelings multiply like crazy and then it gives you even more strength to keep going on and doing great.

But you can do it. If you want to do it, believe you can do it, then you can. Plain and simple.

And yes... for me it is a little like strength training. But instead of building resistance to it, I am building up love for myself, strength for myself, because in my heart and mind I know that which I am resisting will persist.
Therefore I build a happy me, healthy me and a life in which there is no suffering or illness. Adopting that attitude and believing it wholeheartedly has helped me, in those sticky times, to say "no, that's not how a recovered, healthy person acts!"

Disclaimer... it's not always easy. Most of the times it's damn hard. But is the mental exertion worth it... DAMN STRAIGHT! And I find the more I stick with it the easier it gets.

[ethereal]

I find that EFT, Sedona method, surrendering, etc. (variations of the same theme) to be highly helpful.

Also, being highly aware/present whenever you are tempted and whether you follow through or not. By being intensely aware of yourself succumbing to temptation, you naturally begin to stop doing it.

[Sacred-Dances]

Hi,
I could'nt agree more with Dietrie on this.
For me at this time the temptation is to feel bad about things,or rather myself then enjoying all the negative feelings and lack of responsibility that goes with those feelings.The blame,fear,anger,resentment just to name a few.
What I've begun to do is to change my focus.Instead of dwelling on the things that tend to make me feel bad,I focus on what brings the positive feelings to the surface.
I used to spend an awful amount of time focusing on the negative and wonder why I'm having such a hard time getting anything done.
I started to pay more attention to where I could focus and do positive things,and then get out of my own way and begin to do those things!!Doing them is the hard part the more you do it though the easier it gets,at least it has for me.I started out very slow and gentle with myself,and try to have self-kindness when I'd find it easier to throw in the towel.To me it has been invaluable to see myself as not feeling badly as progress itself,and to keep a light heart.I associate feeling good with accomplishing something (even small things),and accomplishing something with feeling good.Anything that is positive that keeps me afloat,hanging in there and feeling good is what I strive for.Everything counts!,even what seems like nothing.If it's helping me great!!
Getting into a habit of doing these things rain or shine so there more like automatic responses has been important.If i have to wait untill I'm miserable to do something positive it will never get done and I'll just feel worse about that.*Laughs*I know all to well.
It's very important to have some support system to lean on,I'm grateful for my friends,they have been a great help for me in this area.
It has really been hard though at times!
The more I hang in there the more I feel good about myself for doing so.
And i can actually turn around and say ,I made progress today ,I did this and I did that,...That feels good!!!
I remember (to the best of my ability) That I'm responsible for my happiness,.No-one else.If I don't like where my life's at it's up to me to make it better,..whether I like it or not it's still my responsibility.
It feels so much more rewarding to do something about it rather than complain.I feel alot better to have something good to say to about myself and my life,and soo far I've gained some in the area of unconditional love for myself too.I know it's positive to those around me too.I feel good about not draggin' them down,..and maybe lifting them up a little.
Even if you need to take a break,..that's ok!.Keep at it,Be kind to yourself.Keep trying and don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens.

[jwinn]

Think of someone you admire that has high integrity and ask yourself, would that person do it? Kind of like WWJD (what would Jesus do?)

[pdnewbie]

I like ethereal's approach to this topic. In life, there are a set of right paths and a set of wrong paths. It's usually very clear which is right and which is wrong if you pay attention. Just take your bad (i.e. good) medicine and always go along one of the right paths.

Sidetracking a little bit, isn't this at the heart of why people spend so much time and money on self-help merchandise? Because they're afraid, or lazy, to do the thing they know is right? I'm aware of this because I am one of them. And I finish this reply with this lesson: the best is the enemy of the good.

[pdnewbie]

In response to ethereal, how do you become highly aware? Just keep trying? Or are there some helpful mind tricks I can do on myself?