So much fear to overcome

[soccer7]

alrite guys, i got one for ya. i am currently working on my fears everyday, the funny thing is the more i try to relax it out of my life the more i feel it, its like as soon as i think of it and the things i'm trying to put myself through i get hit by crytonite, dam.

But that's not the question, my question is when asking out a girl that i don't know who goes to the same educational institute as me, should i go read some books and listen to experience people's suggestion or should i just go out all natural and go in and ask with an honesty and confidence.

so basically, do girls prefer confident and straight forward guys or do they rather prefer guys with the right attitude. Because i get the feeling that being too confident and straight forward to someone you don't know might scare them, but i like to be straight forward.

I'm doing this to overcome my fear of asking someone out on a date, but i am also worried that if i do get a date, what will become of me then - i.e. fear of success.

hmmm, this is abit confusing, so i'll summerise it here, i want a girl friend but am afrain to ask someone out on a date, and afraid i'm not good enough because i don't have much time, money and confidence to protect them if bad guys were to bother them, arhh, i got so much fear ! Dam you Objective reality !

ok any opions are good, thanks

[ellie]

Be yourself/natural!

Sure read some books if you want, but really you need to shine and be yourself. I still think it's a good idea to prepare what your going to say. It doen't have to be much, but maybe write down what you want to say.

Also put yourself in the girls shoes, what do you honestly think she would like? Hopefully you the girl is similar to you and wants an honest and open guy with no bull.

Maybe even say, your were unsure if you should approach her, that you felt might come off us as a bit too confident. Most girls like honestly and even like to see that your not completly confident and that you have some fears.

You sound like a nice guy and it's nice that you're worried you're not good enough. Most girls have these insecurities too! In fact I would say everyone has these insecurities. I know I do

Go with your gut feelings

[theknightwhosaysni-NI]

You can subscribe to David De Angelo's newsletter. It is free. He gives lots of great advice about how to meet girls. He knows what he talks about, and I find that what he says is close to Personal Development. If you like the newsletter theres is also a book "double your dating", that is helpful and give more details than the newsletter. However just reading the newsletter will really help you.

Read that with an open mind and you'll "get" how to date girls.

This material is helping me a lot too.

[DarkSociologist]

Originally Posted by ellie

Be yourself/natural!
Also put yourself in the girls shoes, what do you honestly think she would like? Hopefully you the girl is similar to you and wants an honest and open guy with no bull.

Remember to take the advice here with a grain of salt. If you ever get into a field where you have to conduct interviews to gather data, you will be told that there is a problem where people do not act in a congruent manner with what they report. They say they like A, but they really like B.

The problem is not that they are lying, but there is a disconnect between their feelings and and their logic to rationalize those feelings.

On a separate note, you'll be fine regardless of how things go with that girl. Your ancestors for billions of years have gone through what you are going through and have all come up successful. It's in your blood.

[Greek Dog]

Concentrate on the process not on the outcome. Ask for the experience of asking so that the answer "no" can be accepted as well as "yes". Let the contact you get when you ask be the experience you are going for.

I know it sounds crazy to let the asking be the focus. It won't guarantee an affirmative responce but it will guarantee satisfaction for you regardless of the reply and that will rid you of fear of asking.