Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Plays With Life · 06-04-2010, 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gracestars

PWL, and honeywith4bees,

Thank you so much for the love and loving energy!! It made me do this

and I'm most grateful for that.

Anytime.

elucidate · 06-04-2010, 01:57 AM

Just to clarify, I wasn't in any way saying that it isn't just as beneficial to express on ths forum what you've needed to. I understand fully your reasons for not wanting to speak with your friends IRL. I have the same thinking about it actually. It's part of the reason I haven't been able to speak openly about my own stuff.

People usually come to me when they've got a problem, because I listen well, and I really HEAR them, what they are saying AND what they are really saying...unfortunately, most people aren't that good at listening, so I rarely feel like it is reciprocated...though I've learned not to give with expectation of being given in return.

I also know how it feels when someone dumps their problems on me, and how it can bring me down while they walk off feeling better. Depression is one of those things that is contagious and anyone with a heart won't want to inflict that on the ones they care about and love.

So, don't worry, I wasn't saying you 'should' go talk to your friends about this, just incase you took it that way? You don't have to explain yourself to me, or anyone else.

Lots of love

ssandra · 06-04-2010, 02:03 AM

What finally got me out of the Up and Down cycle is realizing and fully living, knowing that I am responsible for my emotions.

Not the circumstances

Not other people

But me.

Unless it is hormonal (but even then, up to a certain level), I decide how I want to feel.

And I choose to feel happy.

This was impossible for me to realize this before, but once I made the click... I never looked back.

Do you feel like you are responsible for your emotions, or are your emotions running you?

Gracestars · 06-04-2010, 02:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elucidate

Just to clarify, I wasn't in any way saying that it isn't just as beneficial to express on ths forum what you've needed to. I understand fully your reasons for not wanting to speak with your friends IRL. I have the same thinking about it actually. It's part of the reason I haven't been able to speak openly about my own stuff.

People usually come to me when they've got a problem, because I listen well, and I really HEAR them, what they are saying AND what they are really saying...unfortunately, most people aren't that good at listening, so I rarely feel like it is reciprocated...though I've learned not to give with expectation of being given in return.

I also know how it feels when someone dumps their problems on me, and how it can bring me down while they walk off feeling better. Depression is one of those things that is contagious and anyone with a heart won't want to inflict that on the ones they care about and love.

So, don't worry, I wasn't saying you 'should' go talk to your friends about this, just incase you took it that way? You don't have to explain yourself to me, or anyone else.

Lots of love

I didn't think that's what you meant, bloss, but thanks for clarifying anyway. I kind of took it as an opportunity to write out what this thread is about for me, but you're right, I don't have to explain myself to anyone.

elucidate · 06-04-2010, 02:34 AM

Cool. I wasn't sure. I know that when I'm in that state my perceptions can be skewed and I can take things the wrong way. Glad you didn't though

elucidate · 06-04-2010, 02:36 AM

I just feel so expanded when I come to this thread. It's helped me immensely. Are you feeling a bit better too?

Gracestars · 06-04-2010, 02:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elucidate

I just feel so expanded when I come to this thread. It's helped me immensely. Are you feeling a bit better too?

Really? I'm so glad you have got something out of it too.

Yes, I'm feeling a little lifted. Like I've unlocked a bit of something. The weight feels a little lighter. I'm going to keep plowing ahead.

elucidate · 06-04-2010, 03:05 AM

That a girl.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gracestars

Really? I'm so glad you have got something out of it too.

Yes, I'm feeling a little lifted. Like I've unlocked a bit of something. The weight feels a little lighter. I'm going to keep plowing ahead.

duygusu · 10-22-2010, 12:28 PM

Gracestars, here is something I wrote when I was in my "depression". Its all a cycle so mine comes and goes but read below:

"It's depression time again.
I felt it coming and tried to ward it off. You know the feeling.. I took the pills on time, I read shiny happy stories, I surrounded myself with loved ones.. but you know the feeling when you start to slip. When you start to be unable to fill those cracks with happy-putty.

And after a while you are in a place so dark and terrible that even smiling when YOU MUST feels like it saps all of your energy. All you want to do is sleep, but you can't even do that ! You lay awake or you take sleeping pills or you find a reason to cry and don't stop.

And one day maybe you see a glimmer.. of hope. of love. of anything that can save you from this abyss. but the more you chase it the more it runs. an elusive rainbow. why would a lovely rainbow want to have a conversation with the depressive black cloud that you have become?

but I am trying. some days perhaps I dont feel so numb, and I try to make plans for the future. But some days I just want to hide from the world. and some days I want to conquer it and make it eat out of the palm of my hand!

so for now I am still trying. keep trying little one. if I can make it, so can you!"

I guess I must have felt you and wrote this last year

or we all feel the same so it's not such a horrible place to be, as long as you know that you have those feelings.

So I don't know if you still feel horrible. I don't know if you found your sunlight. But here's my two cents. You don't have to do ANYTHING! Just be yourself. Feel the stillness. Don't fight the darkness. Go into it, because you have to face it and when you run you give it power. I Promise you, it won't eat you up and it can't hurt you UNLESS you give it the power.

Just be. Just keep still. Feel the feelings. Examine them. Weigh them against your heart. Try to keep the ones that make you feel like YOU and imagine yourself throwing away the ones that make you feel like DEPRESSIONYOU.

Does that help ? Did I make sense?

Sending you love..

scotthegeek · 10-23-2010, 06:16 AM

I had read and It has help me that when your overwhelm and the brain has to much to process and you feel that there is something wrong with you. Its like going to a restaurant and seeing a sign that says close for renovation. you look in the window and you say man this place is a mess but it will look so much better when the renovation are done.

sometime when I'm laying in bed and don't want to get up and thinking Oh no I'm going to be depress I just say my brain is close for renovations and I feel better then the renovations are done.

Scott

AaronB · 10-23-2010, 03:04 PM

When I was in Hawaii I learned that big waves are a much bigger deal then little waves. I was used to little waves, which can be ignored with no disturbance. But I found with the big breaking waves, if I tried to out swim them they would just pull me backwards and toss me around for a while. I had this happen 3 times in a row and I was really exhausted and out of breath and fortunately the waves got smaller at that point as I crawled out of the ocean.

Later I went in the ocean again with someone who knew the waves. When a wave was coming she would dive into it and under it, it would pull her through in a second and she would pop out the back. It looked so much easier then being tossed around in the fray for what felt like an eternity.

Gracestars · 10-24-2010, 12:39 AM

Hey guys, thanks for the words of support, but this is an old thread. Ta, though, and I hope you're all doing okay.

G. x

puguglypress · 10-24-2010, 01:55 AM

That was pretty surreal, reading this thread and developing sympathy for you and then suddenly realizing that I had been sympathizing with a past/dead version of who you were. Definitely a "jolting" little moment.

Gracestars · 10-24-2010, 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by puguglypress

That was pretty surreal, reading this thread and developing sympathy for you and then suddenly realizing that I had been sympathizing with a past/dead version of who you were. Definitely a "jolting" little moment.

Well, I'm still me. Alive and kicking. Just not on the verge of a depression.

10-23-2010, 06:16 AM	#70 (permalink)
scotthegeek Family Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Windsor Ontario Canada Posts: 1,115	I had read and It has help me that when your overwhelm and the brain has to much to process and you feel that there is something wrong with you. Its like going to a restaurant and seeing a sign that says close for renovation. you look in the window and you say man this place is a mess but it will look so much better when the renovation are done. sometime when I'm laying in bed and don't want to get up and thinking Oh no I'm going to be depress I just say my brain is close for renovations and I feel better then the renovations are done. Scott Last edited by scotthegeek; 10-23-2010 at 06:23 AM.

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06-04-2010, 01:57 AM	#62 (permalink)
elucidate Banned Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 12,751	Just to clarify, I wasn't in any way saying that it isn't just as beneficial to express on ths forum what you've needed to. I understand fully your reasons for not wanting to speak with your friends IRL. I have the same thinking about it actually. It's part of the reason I haven't been able to speak openly about my own stuff. People usually come to me when they've got a problem, because I listen well, and I really HEAR them, what they are saying AND what they are really saying...unfortunately, most people aren't that good at listening, so I rarely feel like it is reciprocated...though I've learned not to give with expectation of being given in return. I also know how it feels when someone dumps their problems on me, and how it can bring me down while they walk off feeling better. Depression is one of those things that is contagious and anyone with a heart won't want to inflict that on the ones they care about and love. So, don't worry, I wasn't saying you 'should' go talk to your friends about this, just incase you took it that way? You don't have to explain yourself to me, or anyone else. Lots of love

06-04-2010, 02:03 AM	#63 (permalink)
ssandra Banned Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Mexico City Posts: 11,168	What finally got me out of the Up and Down cycle is realizing and fully living, knowing that I am responsible for my emotions. Not the circumstances Not other people But me. Unless it is hormonal (but even then, up to a certain level), I decide how I want to feel. And I choose to feel happy. This was impossible for me to realize this before, but once I made the click... I never looked back. Do you feel like you are responsible for your emotions, or are your emotions running you?

06-04-2010, 02:34 AM	#65 (permalink)
elucidate Banned Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 12,751	Cool. I wasn't sure. I know that when I'm in that state my perceptions can be skewed and I can take things the wrong way. Glad you didn't though

06-04-2010, 02:36 AM	#66 (permalink)
elucidate Banned Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 12,751	I just feel so expanded when I come to this thread. It's helped me immensely. Are you feeling a bit better too?

10-22-2010, 12:28 PM	#69 (permalink)
duygusu Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Istanbul Posts: 40	Gracestars, here is something I wrote when I was in my "depression". Its all a cycle so mine comes and goes but read below: "It's depression time again. I felt it coming and tried to ward it off. You know the feeling.. I took the pills on time, I read shiny happy stories, I surrounded myself with loved ones.. but you know the feeling when you start to slip. When you start to be unable to fill those cracks with happy-putty. And after a while you are in a place so dark and terrible that even smiling when YOU MUST feels like it saps all of your energy. All you want to do is sleep, but you can't even do that ! You lay awake or you take sleeping pills or you find a reason to cry and don't stop. And one day maybe you see a glimmer.. of hope. of love. of anything that can save you from this abyss. but the more you chase it the more it runs. an elusive rainbow. why would a lovely rainbow want to have a conversation with the depressive black cloud that you have become? but I am trying. some days perhaps I dont feel so numb, and I try to make plans for the future. But some days I just want to hide from the world. and some days I want to conquer it and make it eat out of the palm of my hand! so for now I am still trying. keep trying little one. if I can make it, so can you!" I guess I must have felt you and wrote this last year or we all feel the same so it's not such a horrible place to be, as long as you know that you have those feelings. So I don't know if you still feel horrible. I don't know if you found your sunlight. But here's my two cents. You don't have to do ANYTHING! Just be yourself. Feel the stillness. Don't fight the darkness. Go into it, because you have to face it and when you run you give it power. I Promise you, it won't eat you up and it can't hurt you UNLESS you give it the power. Just be. Just keep still. Feel the feelings. Examine them. Weigh them against your heart. Try to keep the ones that make you feel like YOU and imagine yourself throwing away the ones that make you feel like DEPRESSIONYOU. Does that help ? Did I make sense? Sending you love..

10-23-2010, 03:04 PM	#71 (permalink)
AaronB Family Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 1,433	When I was in Hawaii I learned that big waves are a much bigger deal then little waves. I was used to little waves, which can be ignored with no disturbance. But I found with the big breaking waves, if I tried to out swim them they would just pull me backwards and toss me around for a while. I had this happen 3 times in a row and I was really exhausted and out of breath and fortunately the waves got smaller at that point as I crawled out of the ocean. Later I went in the ocean again with someone who knew the waves. When a wave was coming she would dive into it and under it, it would pull her through in a second and she would pop out the back. It looked so much easier then being tossed around in the fray for what felt like an eternity.

10-24-2010, 12:39 AM	#72 (permalink)
Gracestars Family Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 2,011	Hey guys, thanks for the words of support, but this is an old thread. Ta, though, and I hope you're all doing okay. G. x

10-24-2010, 01:55 AM	#73 (permalink)
puguglypress Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 31	That was pretty surreal, reading this thread and developing sympathy for you and then suddenly realizing that I had been sympathizing with a past/dead version of who you were. Definitely a "jolting" little moment.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums