addicted to loneliness perhaps ?

[soccer7]

Whenever i get lonely or sad i used to just want to be alone and deal with my pain by listening to sad music and in dark spacous environment, wishing that people would understand my pain and feel sorry for me. I usually think of more sad stuff and imagine tragic things that i could have gone through to the point where i would just cry.

So i am just wondering is it just me or am i addicted to loneliness somehow ? I mean why do i not try to do stuff to feel better but instead surround myself with more grief ?

Is this some kind of way to get over my grief by taking it all out at once so there won't be left over grief to cry over or is it that i just want other's sympathy and attention? even though they usually don't know about it since i go somewhere alone.

After listening to steve's subjective reality and intention manifestation podcast, i tried to change my habit so i don't manifest more grief and sorrow, but fail this time.

so what do you guys think ?

[DarkSociologist]

Throughout my entire life, whenever I would go through troubling times, I would go off to be by myself. It would give me time to think about what I am going through, rather than having people interject their beliefs and trying to make me conform to them.

I believe that emotions are important things. It is important to sometimes feel sad and to sometimes feel happy. If you are starting to get into subjective reality, then you might want to consider applying those concepts to your emotions as well.

The masses believe that happiness is good and pain should be avoided. What is it about these emotions that make them either good or bad? I am in no position to say if you are addicted to loneliness or not, but be careful not to define yourself by how others perceive you.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by DarkSociologist

Throughout my entire life, whenever I would go through troubling times, I would go off to be by myself.

When I was younger, whenever I would go through troubling times, I would go off to be by myself.

Now that I am older, I make time to go off to be by myself, regardless of how I feel.

I find it useful to spend some time alone every day. You get to know yourself better, enjoy the quiet and do some thinking without distraction.

[Bitsy]

Originally Posted by soccer7

Whenever i get lonely or sad i used to just want to be alone and deal with my pain by listening to sad music and in dark spacous environment, wishing that people would understand my pain and feel sorry for me. I usually think of more sad stuff and imagine tragic things that i could have gone through to the point where i would just cry.

I have been like that too, mostly all through my 20's - but less and less the older I got and the more time I spent alone. I also had similar wishes for sympathy and some kind of comforting attention. I don't think I wanted someone to feel sorry for me, but I wanted closeness, comfort and care from someone else. In fact, when I was a teen-ager, I used to wish something bad would happen to me, like I would get hit by a car or something, so that people, like my parents, for instance, would care about me. I think those feelings were related to why I would behave like you described, but I haven't the time to analyze why at the moment.

So, I don't think this is an addiction per se...I guess it is some kind of behavioral pattern you have to consciously get yourself out of. Although that isn't how I got out of mine...But if you are deliberately trying to get out of that habit, then it is normal to falter in the beginning.

According to the Law of Attraction, though, you should dwell on the times you succeed and not be concerned with the times that you fail and dwelling on your successes ought to diminish the times that you fail.

[soccer7]

In fact, when I was a teen-ager, I used to wish something bad would happen to me, like I would get hit by a car or something, so that people, like my parents, for instance, would care about me.

yeah i would do that when i'm in one of my loneliest hours, i would imagine being in some situation where the people close to me starts blaming me for something horrible and even throwing me out of the house, only to find out that it wasn't my fault, and come looking for me again. i don't know why i have the tendency to do that on really lonely days.

i still have that habit i guese, but from what you guys are saying i think its not such a bad thing go somewhere and just think through my troubles, and let myself be open to the fact that i'm not feeling too good, instead of pretending to be happy and there is no problem in the attempt to get better, thats just not cool.

cheers everyone !

[dacanay]

Perhaps you're being too EMo... :P hahaha,

I read about this in a book called "the complete guide to success" You have what they call a "poor little me syndrome" that you get pleasure from people feeling sorry for you. I forgot about the information about this one but iam sure you'll find it in the net.

I don think its addiction to loneliness.

[Little Deb]

yes, you could be addicted to your loneliness, or rather the depressive feelings. You may have possibly conditioned your brain cells to crave familiar, though destructive, emotions. Training yourself to find healthier ways of dealing with immense stress, such as taking up a musical instrument, writing a journal, book, or play, etc. will help re-wire your brain. Reading up on acognative therapy approach which involves learning new problem solving techniques will help you better understand how to get out of your doldrums. My doctor had put me on a very strong anti-depressant after my Ex suddenly passed away, and the meds really did help. Seeing a therapist really opened my world up as well.

[nownow]

I have come to believe that people can be addicted to anything including misery. We are addicted to the chemicals our brain/body release when we experience certain emotions. Experiencing misery can be very satisfying to certain parts of the brain. It's an emotional addiction and the more you do it the more you will depend on it. I think it is a matter of re-wiring your brain and it does not happen overnight. Overcoming serious addictions usually requires assistance from other people or groups. Its too easy to relapse when we try to do it all by ourselves.