I think my "ego" deep down is getting in the way

[MattKing]

I feel on some level that there's a part of me that wants me to be successful to impress other people. Mainly people from my past such as school mates and family who i only see occasionaly.

I have my goal and i have absolute faith that i will achieve it. I also want to do it for myself but there is that little part of me somewhere that crawls up into my concious every now and then that wants to do it to become superior over people that were patronizing of me when i was younger.

I'm pretty sure this isn't a healthy motive. If anybody could offer any advice or has had a smiliar problem i'd be grateful to hear

Thanks, Matt

[Ecce Homo]

Originally Posted by MattKing

I'm pretty sure this isn't a healthy motive. If anybody could offer any advice or has had a smiliar problem i'd be grateful to hear

Advice about what? Do you want to get rid of this motivation to lord it over others or do you simply want to make peace with it and move on or what? Pursuing superiority over others might be considered a worthy goal to those who identify with the darkworking viewpoint, for instance.

[Angelique]

I agree. Use the emotions that push you the most. See them as a tool to get your goals done. If it ends up making your life better how can that be wrong?

I did this when I was bulimic. I came out to my ex and he asked me to stop.
I promised to and I did, in fear of losing him. That was a big motivator to become healthier. And it might have saved my life. Sometimes, you got to use what you've got and when you become the new person maybe you won't have the same motivators anymore.