concrete, specific ways to...

[rei]

How to even explain this? I like the idea of being entirely focused on my own standards for myself - but - it also helps to be open to feedback. Especially in some situations.

I notice at times I am totally blind to how I come across to people, and sometimes that doesn't matter but sometimes it does.

I know the party line says seek fulfillment and validation within, I actually agree with that. But I also think my sense of emotional turmoil at hearing how I actually come across when it's not congruent with the intention - is a helpful motivator.

So, while I'm motivated (having just received some helpful feedback)... I'm curious about specific, concrete ways a person can be more aware of how they come across to people. (I don't mean creating a sense of being self-conscious, I just mean more awareness of how you come across that still allows for being natural.) Or specific, concrete ways to have the intention match up with the expression more of the time. I suppose talking slower would help. What else you got?

And how do we know, in considering our interest in feedback from others, what is just common or suitable for our practical purposes and where does it start to become about approval? I suppose even asking others this question means I wonder about the latter. But in some situations it's helpful to get the feedback, in case we aren't matching up with our intentions. And I like to be myself, but I like to have the expression of myself match my intentions too.

Thanks for any ideas you have for this...