Merging my work life with my personal life.

[Eric L]

As silly as this sounds, this is something I want to do.

Not in reality, just in my own interpretations of the days that precede work or absence of work.

What I have noticed in myself with regard to both is that when I know I must go to work the next day, I feel uneasy, as if going to work was something I didn't want to do, now, whether this is the case or not does not concern me, the real problem comes from my interpretations of these preceding days, I am 100% sure of it. When, on the other hand, I do not go to work the next day, I get up early, willingly and easily. I am more productive and willing to be so. My mood is firm and easy going, regardless if I get 1 or 10 hours of sleep.

As a result of anticipating work days, I linger, greatly. I get to work late, don't have breakfast, and am stressed because of it.

I want to interpret both worlds as my personal life, this will make things much more enjoyable for me, in both worlds. Since I love my job, I see no reason to make it my personal life anyways. Win-Win

I love my job. I hate my paycheck though, it has been proven to me that what I am paid is ridiculous and this is something I will address at a specified date with my boss. This, I doubt, is what is causing the problem. I am open to any interpretations regarding this though. I am also in debt, in case you think that is relevant, nothing heavy - it will be paid off in less than half a year all the while being able to spend money on social events. I am also living with my father while paying these debts, so, in reality, I am not restricted by money subjectively or abstractly.

I love the people I work with and the clients I serve. It s fulfilling to me.

I have conditioned myself with this behavior and have yet to find out how and when it occurred. This, possibly, occurred before the transition I went through lately. Basically I learned to remove bad behaviors and thought processes from my mind and became, excessively happy for it. But, I am still held back.

Any thoughts as to how and when I did this to myself?