Failure in Studies

[nimloth32]

I am a 27 years old guy. I had spent a long time studying pharmacy course since 2002, which is almost a decade ago. Along my journey of studying this course, I had met a few bumps in the road, which means i failed and needed to repeat a few course which delay my progress. Now i am in my final year. However, i failed my final semester. The real reason of me getting depressed is due to the guilt within myself since I disappointed my parents who give me financial support along the way. A lot of people had given me advice to switch to other courses. However, i am not a person who give up easily, which is why i persist despite of failures because becoming a pharmacist is my dream of life. There were a few occasion when I had almost committed suicide. However, i refused to do that since i did not want to leave death as my legacy. Despite of my optimism, the people around me including my family began to doubt my ability to continue pursuing this dream of mine. As a result, this impacts my resolve. I begin to lost my enjoyment of life. I begin to envy others who manage to finish the course without any failures. All my former classmates had already became successful in their career whilst i am still 'rotting' in university. At times, i felt so lonely and fragile and emotionally scarred. Now, i even began to feel fearful of opening my course homepage because every time I opened the course homepage. In my mind, I felt that something bad is bound to happen. I wished that I can do better to improve the situation. I studied hard. But sometimes, that doesn't improve the situation. I had consulted my course counsellor. However, the advice they gave me doesn't help the situation either. I had tried to follow the advice given in the book 'the secret'. However, i find that the law of attraction doesn't help me either.

My question is, am i a failure in life? am i a fool who tried too hard to achieve his dream in life? is my persistence a folly?

[Vibration]

Originally Posted by nimloth32

I am a 27 years old guy. I had spent a long time studying pharmacy course since 2002, which is almost a decade ago. Along my journey of studying this course, I had met a few bumps in the road, which means i failed and needed to repeat a few course which delay my progress. Now i am in my final year. However, i failed my final semester. The real reason of me getting depressed is due to the guilt within myself since I disappointed my parents who give me financial support along the way. A lot of people had given me advice to switch to other courses. However, i am not a person who give up easily, which is why i persist despite of failures because becoming a pharmacist is my dream of life. There were a few occasion when I had almost committed suicide. However, i refused to do that since i did not want to leave death as my legacy. Despite of my optimism, the people around me including my family began to doubt my ability to continue pursuing this dream of mine. As a result, this impacts my resolve. I begin to lost my enjoyment of life. I begin to envy others who manage to finish the course without any failures. All my former classmates had already became successful in their career whilst i am still 'rotting' in university. At times, i felt so lonely and fragile and emotionally scarred. Now, i even began to feel fearful of opening my course homepage because every time I opened the course homepage. In my mind, I felt that something bad is bound to happen. I wished that I can do better to improve the situation. I studied hard. But sometimes, that doesn't improve the situation. I had consulted my course counsellor. However, the advice they gave me doesn't help the situation either. I had tried to follow the advice given in the book 'the secret'. However, i find that the law of attraction doesn't help me either.

My question is, am i a failure in life? am i a fool who tried too hard to achieve his dream in life? is my persistence a folly?

No, you are not a failure. Look how far you've come! You may have fallen down a couple of times, but you got back up and kept going. This is not the characteristic of a failure, but of a persistent person. A person who does not give up cannot be beaten, because it is then only a matter of time until you make it.

You are almost there. You just need to get back up again.

The information in "The Secret" may help you a little, but you must depend primarily on yourself for the power to pull you through this.

It sounds to me like your head is burried in your situation, that you need to take a step or two back and view your situation more objectively.

If the situation was turned around and I were asking you how I could best finish my physics (or whatever) degree, through I failed my final semester, what would you tell me?

Sometimes it works better to take a more distanced approach to yourself, to view your situation in "Third Person" to get a less biased understanding of it.

Your education is not your life, but only a project you have engaged in. View this as a project; seperate it from yourself, and then manage it.

You're going to be fine. Just be courageous and start again.

YouTube - Life=Risk--Motivation
YouTube - Michael Jordan "Failure" Nike Commercial
YouTube - Failure is a part of success!

[songindarkness]

It sounds like you have found things very similar to me. I studied physics and computer science and took six years to do my three year course due to depression and anxiety. I honestly think you might be going through that simply due to the agony of doing your course, because depression is associated with losing interest in things you enjoy and lack of motivation, and the anxiety you describe at just opening your course webpage is very real and terrifying and similar to the way I felt. I am struggling now doing a masters course and I have to say I have been questioned in the same way about wanting to do science and I feel just as guilty and angry at myself for disappointing my parents, who have given me so much support and money to do my course. But what is worse is that I do not think I want to do science anymore. So please don't give up on your dream, since you still have it. You can do it, you just need to get help. More help for whatever troubled you and stopped you from completing, and help for the depression and anxiety you are probably experiencing too.

I have to say, I don't fully believe in "The Secret" but I do think that they way we feel and think create our experiences in a similar way and while you are feeling like this it will be extra hard for you to complete your work. Good luck.