Is it self-harm if you do something destructive that you know is bad for you? ..

[Aware]

And you keep doing it over and over. You repeat the process unconciously and consciously even though you feel as though you are not participating in it. Why do I distract myself like this? I've asked myself, and I just can't seem to find an answer? I really am clueless. Where did I learn this behaviour? I feel stuck and am left feeling sorry for myself. doesn't achieve anything.

[Nameless One]

Isn't that kind of what we all do when indulging in our personal addictions? As far as I'm concerned, we're all cutting ourselves 24/7 and slowly bleeding to death, in our individual ways. I guess the only difference is how people perceive their addictions.

[Aware]

Originally Posted by Nameless One

Isn't that kind of what we all do when indulging in our personal addictions? As far as I'm concerned, we're all cutting ourselves 24/7 and slowly bleeding to death, in our individual ways. I guess the only difference is how people perceive their addictions.

I don't know about that, I think I am engaging in an extreme form of it, to the extent where it stops me living a normal life.

[Mike75]

ITs not self-harm but pure stupidity. And you know what, human is the only animal in the world who indulges in such behaviour.

[rei]

Originally Posted by Aware

I don't know about that, I think I am engaging in an extreme form of it, to the extent where it stops me living a normal life.

self-harm? maybe. sounds at the very least to be self-destructive or self-sabotaging.

what are you trying to avoid? what are you trying to numb yourself from? and, what has changed that led to you posting this thread as a quasi-cry for help?

what need isn't being met, that you are trying (and not succeeding) at meeting through the behavior you're talking about?

what are some other ways you could try to meet that need?

[James81]

You won't get a specific answer until you give specifics about what it is you engage in.

As your threads now, you're going to get projections of things that exist within the people who reply to your thread that probably have little or nothing to do with what you are going through.

You want to change the thing that you feel consumes you? Step 1 is ALWAYS having the courage to talk about it specifically and openly.

[rei]

Originally Posted by James81

You want to change the thing that you feel consumes you? Step 1 is ALWAYS having the courage to talk about it specifically and openly.

agree with this, though i think the OP is already answering his/her own question with the tone and the way the OP talks about this...

Originally Posted by James81

As your threads now, you're going to get projections of things that exist within the people who reply to your thread that probably have little or nothing to do with what you are going through.

i don't think you can say this with such certainty. i think my response was specific to the OP's stuff, and not projecting my own.

if anything, i think the vagueness of the question is more likely to yield more philosophical answers, not necessarily projections. though the projection response is probably also a valid pattern to expect here.

[Aware]

Thank you for your replies.

I do it a lot of forms of life. For example, I am intolerant to wheat, and usually avoid it, but when there is a lot of chaos going on around me, I just don't care and proceed to eat wheat which makes me feel terrible.I'm literally sitting with myself thinking, what are you doing?? but I still do it. Also, I will deliberately yet somewhat unconsciously get myself into situations which I can't tolerate. I feel that I am extremely self-destructive and I don't know why this is? Why do I sabotage my efforts? Like if I'm doing really good on a project, and I realize it, I immediately start to do badly or be careless.

I really amn't sure what I am trying to achieve by asking this question, as I'm sure noone here can be inside my mind and think how I am thinking but, I guess I am just hoping for some helpful thoughts.

[Aware]

Originally Posted by rei

self-harm? maybe. sounds at the very least to be self-destructive or self-sabotaging.

what are you trying to avoid? what are you trying to numb yourself from? and, what has changed that led to you posting this thread as a quasi-cry for help?

what need isn't being met, that you are trying (and not succeeding) at meeting through the behavior you're talking about?

what are some other ways you could try to meet that need?

I am trying avoid my thoughts and emotions even though I am aware that the only way past them is through dealing with them. Yet I distract myself constantly.
What has changed is that it has got worse. I have been in this place many times before and got out of it but I want to know what gets me here. It seems I can't deal with any sort of chaos in my life style.

Other ways,,,,, relaxing? I try it but I am so uptight that I feel I can't relax. And when I knew little about nutrition I use to try to starve myself and actually harm myself but now that I do I will sometimes out of control overeat, which makes nill sense. I think because it's become such a bad habit. A cycle of being happy and healthy and loving life to being depressive and unhealthy and obsessive. I sometimes suffer from OCD too.

[The Unconquered]

Originally Posted by Aware

I do it a lot of forms of life. For example, I am intolerant to wheat, and usually avoid it, but when there is a lot of chaos going on around me, I just don't care and proceed to eat wheat which makes me feel terrible.I'm literally sitting with myself thinking, what are you doing?? but I still do it. Also, I will deliberately yet somewhat unconsciously get myself into situations which I can't tolerate. I feel that I am extremely self-destructive and I don't know why this is? Why do I sabotage my efforts? Like if I'm doing really good on a project, and I realize it, I immediately start to do badly or be careless.

I'm gluten [wheat] intolerant, too. It's really hard to avoid wheat. It's in things you'd never think wheat would be in. On a rare trip to McDonald's, I ordered a parfait which was packaged with nuts, and i couldn't eat the nuts because there was some sort of wheat derivative in the cinnamon on the nuts. Bizarre.

The times when I ate the wheat anyway were always because I felt I wasn't worth the effort and energy of getting well and healthy. I'd get depressed with the seemingly lack of progress in my life, say, "Oh f#ck it," and eat a chocolate chip cookie or fried chicken or cinnamon roll. And 2 minutes later, I'd be doubling over with stomach cramps and think "See, I'm so messed up I can't skip a little junk food. What a loser am i!" Rinse. Repeat.

For me, the gluten consumption was a self-esteem issue as well as a control issue. I felt that I was a failure because I couldn't control what I wanted to control -- but I can't control my body's wheat intolerance no matter how much I miss whole wheat bread. Serenity returned when I realized that there's very little I can control in life -- the trick is to get on the path of least resistance, which paradoxically was also the healthiest path that I'd been resisting all along.

I don't know anything about you, but I hope that helped a little.

[sandy]

find better things to do. i mean like hobbies or anything else that can call up your passion but not include the process of harming yourself.

i think sometimes we do stupid things even we know it's stupid because we just got so bored. and we "think" there's nothing left to cheer us up or make us feel less boring except that stupid thing. at least that can knock us from miserable reality so we repeat it.

take the "self-harming" for a nice reminder that you are currently got bored. go find something fun that you can immerse in. you will be all righty

[Aware]

Thank you, to the unconquered and sandy. .

Re: wheat intolerance - today I bought this sourdough wheat free bread, it's yummi

[The Unconquered]

Originally Posted by Aware

Thank you, to the unconquered and sandy. .

Re: wheat intolerance - today I bought this sourdough wheat free bread, it's yummi

You're welcome. Ooh, what brand of bread? Maybe it's also sold in the USA....

[Luvyourlife]

Aware - I can totally relate to this and often wonder the same thing myself.

The only thing that sometimes works for me is if I'm faced with a situation where i have a choice to either do/have something which I know is bad for me or avoid it, I try and take a step back, take a deep breath and look at it from the point of veiw of my 'higher self' (or the part of me that knows whats best for me) and often this helps me to make a more informed decision rather than just acting compulsively. However, alot of the time I'm still unable to control the overwhelming urges and I'm forever doing things that I know will make me feel terrible afterwards . I guess it will just take practice.

Good luck

[Aware]

Originally Posted by The Unconquered

You're welcome. Ooh, what brand of bread? Maybe it's also sold in the USA....

It's made in Ireland, locally, it's by butterly family, sourdough bread but, I'm sure they have a similar one in the states, they have so much choice there.

[Aware]

Originally Posted by Luvyourlife

Aware - I can totally relate to this and often wonder the same thing myself.

The only thing that sometimes works for me is if I'm faced with a situation where i have a choice to either do/have something which I know is bad for me or avoid it, I try and take a step back, take a deep breath and look at it from the point of veiw of my 'higher self' (or the part of me that knows whats best for me) and often this helps me to make a more informed decision rather than just acting compulsively. However, alot of the time I'm still unable to control the overwhelming urges and I'm forever doing things that I know will make me feel terrible afterwards . I guess it will just take practice.

Good luck

Thanks - you too. I know how you mean, I appreciate your advice