What will you do if ......

[A2Z]

Hi all, I have recently went thru my first blood test and discovered I have an hepatitis b and it has been very difficult to take it as I have never expected it. I am on my late 20s and I have no idea when and how I got it and I am not sure how to take it from here on. It is seems like I am gonna have to live with it some how but I was just wondering how I can accept the reality and move on my life. I did some research and learn a bit about it. However, I have never been able to find anything that will help me with the stress that came with it.

One of the problem is I feel so ashamed to even mention to any one. Even the girl I am kind of with. I just told her to take a blood test and she said she did and she doesn't have anything. I am guessing she have the vaccine because we did have unprotected sex many time for the past two years. I really don't think we will be together much as our relationship is fallen apart now. Do you guys thing I should still tell her? One of the reason why i dont want to tell any one is because i think they will tell other ppl and soon or later every one will know about it and that will be more painful than the virus it self.
what about telling my roommate and any of my friends about this? Again i dont want this news to circulate around and I dont trust any one. I will definitely take all the cares when dealing with others to avoid any means of transmission to them. I am just scared ppl start distancing themselves if they find out this bad news and that is the part I am more scared.

What about once I am over with the girl I am with and start dating, do I have to tell them right from the get go? My research indicates that if my partner have the vaccine then she will not get anything. Does this mean I can have unprotected sex with some one who have already have the vaccine? I apologize if it is difficult to understand but I hope you understand what my situation is here. Just to sum up my question, how would you take this news and what will you do about it specially when it comes to the ppl around you.

Thank you very much and sorry for the long post

A.

[aelle]

Hi,A2Z
I'm sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine how hard it must be. I hope you can benefit from good medical support, who will help you get informed on your disease and on how to tweak your life to be as healthy as possible now that you know. I also hope you have a strong personal support network -friends, family- who can help you lovingly through this.

Now you asked about what I would do...

Originally Posted by A2Z

Do you guys thing I should still tell her?

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Actually, telling ALL your past sex partners would be the responsible thing to do.

Originally Posted by A2Z

I am guessing she have the vaccine

Please stop with the guesswork. Tell her. Ask her. Be safe, and let her be safe!

Originally Posted by A2Z

One of the reason why i dont want to tell any one is because i think they will tell other ppl and soon or later every one will know about it and that will be more painful than the virus it self.

Why? Does it have to be painful? You don't trust your friends to be loving, accepting, understanding, mature? (why are they your friends then?) You don't trust yourself to make new connection with loving, accepting, understanding people?

Originally Posted by A2Z

what about telling my roommate and any of my friends about this?

I don't feel qualified to answer that, really, as I don't know all that much about hep B. Your health providers should be able to tell you how safe/unsafe for others your everyday interactions are. If these is any doubt, or slightly more risky situations (I'm thinking of sports, for instance, where you might get injured and bleed) I'd tell.

Originally Posted by A2Z

What about once I am over with the girl I am with and start dating, do I have to tell them right from the get go? My research indicates that if my partner have the vaccine then she will not get anything. Does this mean I can have unprotected sex with some one who have already have the vaccine?

Yes, you should tell fairly early on. Before you first have sex, and not just before either. As far as having unprotected sex if they're vaccinated, it's not your decision to take unilaterally. It's a decision that you might take together with a partner, once you've both been 100% honest about your health and are committed to communicating openly from then on.


I want to leave you with this resource which I found extremely interesting, although it doesn't apply 100% to your situation:
Sex is Fun Show: SiF #141 - Sex after HIV

[votoshka]

You ask whether you should tell future sexual partners that you've got hep b, because they're safe if they've been vaccinated. So how do you determine their vaccination status? Do you just ask: "Have you been vaccinated against hep b?" Because if I had a boyfriend who asked me that, I'd wonder why and probably immediately ask, "Why, do you have it?"

Either way, any smart girl will probably put 2 and 2 together

At the end of the day, it's something you have, it's not YOU... and it's nothing to be ashamed of. I don't think you need to tell everyone, but you should tell your girlfriend, and you should tell any future girls you go out with. If they're decent people, I doubt they'll go spreading it around!