Can anyone give some comforthing / soothing words..

[Penelopi]

Well, I have done something beyond patheticness and I have no idea how I will confront the issuse. I was once a "cool" girl (i think?) but I don't even think that I deserve that label at all, I'm disgusted with my own self, seriously. I feel like I'm gonna die because of embarrassment! I know this is dramatic but some empowering words could at least help reduce my feeling of shame and embarrassment. I can't even face the emotion anymore because its just tooooooo much. I just feel so inadequate and worthless, its really damaging my confidence! anyone! Thanks so much.

[Ilya A K]

Can't really say that I relate to you in this one, and I don't really know how to deal with such an issue. But I'd like you to know that I love you, and I will ask the universe to ease your worries.

[aggie]

i can only tell you that it will pass....i have been embarrassing myself for years...and i am not even cool....i do know how you feel though...it may not be as bad as you think, we are our own harshest judges. i find a little bit of poking at oneself can help in some situations...but not if it will make things worse...i too will send healing thoughts your way. like most things of this type, it is a life lesson and if you learn or grow or become stronger, it is not wasted.

[Gracestars]

Oh yes, we all know about self-embarrassment, if we don't then we need to develop some insight, or a sense of humour, or a smaller ego! Nothing like making a wrong move to add to ya shame file! I know the feeling. All good though, honey. Laugh it off (if possible?) Chin up now!

[The Cloud]

No matter how worthless you are, I still love you.

[PhilMethot]

Hello Penelopi,

Do you notice that the feelings of shame and embarrassement as well as the feelings of inadequacy dominate the gist of your post?

It starts off with an admission of something you've done, but the pain is in the feelings that it gave you. It's not easy to answer this in a short post; I wrote a whole book on the subject just to try to get people to see how the feelings take over and control your behaviour more than the initial cause, which was something you said you did.

As to the 'thing' you did, I can only suggest that you remember that it is the 'thing' you did that is "pathetic", not you. Everyone does things that they would rather have not done from time to time, but you don't have to identify yourself with the event, as if it denotes who you are. You are obviously not as 'bad' as the event or you wouldn't be upset about it. The amount that you are upset actually shows me how much you are not like the thing you did.

As to the 'feelings' that are causing you so much pain, I can only tell you that that it is the function of these types of feelings you keep you thinking a certain way. They do not represent who you are. Just because you feel inadequate, doesn't make you inadequate. Feelings lie; it is there job.

If I say too much more it will sound like a commercial, and this is about you, however, I would sugggest that you have a quick look at Through-the-door and see if you can recognize the fact that you are much more smarter, sharper, and capable than those feelings would have you believe.

Phil

[180]

Well jumping from your other post...

I feel the same way.

I was spectacular my last year of high school and some of my college years. I was always on my A game and now I feel like I'm like this old lifeless loser who has no talent for making friends.

I spent a long time thinking... why before I was the master of empathy, could talk and master any social situation, can't get people to "like me".

Well, I came to the realization I'm dealing with entirely different people of an entirely different age group. Before, my friends were exciting and lively people willing and eager to make friends. But people in my age group are more focused on finding a partner and their jobs. They aren't willing or as trusting to make friends. It's not me.... it's them.

Same could be true in your case. It very well may be.

[Penelopi]

Ilya AK: thankyou, i hope the universe responds!

Aggie: Thanks, no I'm not cool I'm just thinking that and no, its as bad I think, really really bad.

Gracestars: thankyou, although its not just about embarrassing myself, its also about how pathetic I am. I need to suck it up cause I started it (but I can't!!)

The cloud: thankyou

Philethot: Thankyou so much, it kind of clears the picture, I'll read your site

180: hah, tell me about it. exactly what happened and is still happening to me and I don't think its them? Im not sure, I'm actually very confused. I feel like I shouldn't be pointing fingers, because if I think about it, I used to get along with everyone, seriously, before if I don't get along with someone I am sure I did not do something wrong but its not like that anymore, because if I feel good inside then there shouldn't be a problem and I would still be getting along with people just like I used to. So I feel like something is OFF

[MediocreDeity]

I hope things go better for you. Though, I'm not entirely sure what to say since I don't know what has happened to you. Maybe if you give us some detail as far as what you did? I think a better way to face this might be to try to do something positive to either fix it, or learn to grow from it. Wallowing is only going to make you feel worse. Maybe we can give you some advice on things you can do?

Either way, I truly hope that this works out in a positive way for you.