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| Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT |
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01-31-2010, 04:26 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Legendary Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,359
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okay so it's being an emotional rollercoaster lately I will give you some background I was out of work in 2008 and part of 2009 in feb 2009 I started this new job it's an adult psychiatric facility I have been there almost one year and everyone but 2 people that I started the job with either quit or was fired that's over 10 people so my boss comes to me after a meeting the other day and told me that I would have to go to work in the kids psych building for a few days which is right down the street and they own this building too now my reason for taking this job was because I knew I was going to be working with adults and not kids now don't get me wrong I have kids and love them but I do not want to have to shove medications at 4year olds -it is unethical to me anyway she said it would be for a few days so I went over there to help out then friday I went back to my own unit to work my DON (director if nursing ) calls me and asks why I was not at the kids building I told her that she said I could come back to my own building friday -she proceeded to tell me that she never said this it is really hard to explain everything on this page but my boss basically some major issues herself esp verbal abuse when she is on the phone with you -never in public where people can see her I have ignored her rantings with other people but now that I am targeted IT'S PERSONAL ! so she pulled me in a meeting and basically gave me 2 options turn in my badge and keys or go to the kids building and work so I told her how unacceptable that was and I was going to do neither one I explained how I was the only nurse left that had been there since the building had opened and I chose to come to work here because it was adults and not kids she told me I would go work wherever she wanted me to and then she got mad and gave me the 2 choices again I told her I wanted to talk to the CEO and she said that she was not going to call him so my Irish temper got a hold of me and I called her a liar and stormed out of the meeting and to my unit to get my pocketbook then what did I do next I asked her if she wanted to follow me and make sure I drove to the kids building I heard her say behind my back "oh no she didn't" and then I heard her following me she tried to follow me to the parking lot but the milieu manager stopped her so anyway I went over there to work and did my job but came home fuming ! with decisions to make do I go back or do I go to the CEO like others have in the past about her (and she obviously still has her job after they went to him) or do I just quit ?? confusing  friends have suggested that I type a letter to the CEO and then request a meeting anybody else have any thoughts ? |
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02-01-2010, 08:02 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Northern Germany
Posts: 2,659
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When you were hired, did you expressly state that you wanted to work with adults, not kids? Were you up front with this being a problem for you, or did you simply assume it would work out that way? If you did, you can always go to HR (or the CEO if more appropriate), and state that you truly do have a problem with being forced to medicate kids, and that you stated this up front. Something like "I love my job, and I think I proved that I am willing to do good work, but I can't accept this part of the job. Please put me back in the place where I perform best." If you didn't state this particular "peeve" of yours up front, you could try a different approach, like: "I have done this for the past few days, but it causes me great emotional stress, and I can't do this for much longer. I would ask that these reassignments be kept to a minimum, if at all possible." Also, if the verbal abuse continues in a sneaky, behind-your-back fashion...there are small, handy dictaphones that you can slip in your pocket and switch on when this happens, in person at least. Don't blackmail her with it. Go directly to HR/the CEO, and state that you will not accept this kind of behavior towards you any longer. If they try to play it down...at least you know what kind of workplace it is and can make preparations to find a different job. I guess it all depends on whether you love your job and the place you work at, or whether you don't. |
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02-01-2010, 10:22 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Legendary Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,359
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thanks Mynder I realized after reading my post again that I have enabled myself as a victim again this has been an easy role for me in my life one that I despise in myself and yet that to is playing the victim role so as steve said in his Ego blog I have to build a new avatar : one that is based on honesty ,courage and acceptance and I know one thing I will not accept is verbal abuse from anyone !! so I will call HR in the am and schedule an appointment to talk about these issues |
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02-01-2010, 11:33 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: earth, everywhere and nowhere
Posts: 9,713
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i really hope it gets resolved in a way that feels satisfying. and i hope HR will listen to you. it is really not so cool when you're in a situation like that, where almost everyone ends up leaving because of one employee. maybe the folks in charge think this person is very competent or something, to allow that to happen. i dunno, sorry you are going through this though, i wish you the best in working it out. |
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02-02-2010, 11:23 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Northern Germany
Posts: 2,659
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If you love your workplace, excluding this one abusive person, then I suggest you stick it out and fight. Gather proof, and testimonies/witnesses to present to HR. Put pressure back on her. If she's been around for a long time, this may take a bit, but eventually, she'll make enough mistakes that they can't hold on to her anymore. This is, of course, if there's no remedying the situation with her, and coming to some sort of agreement and mutual respect (the lack of which - towards you, at least, and possibly the other way, too - is the cause for this situation in the first place). You don't have to be friends. Ever. You just need to get along professionally, and respect each other in that way. If you don't like the workplace...start looking for alternatives. |
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02-02-2010, 03:43 PM
| #8 (permalink) | |
| Legendary Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,359
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02-02-2010, 03:44 PM
| #9 (permalink) | |
| Legendary Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,359
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02-04-2010, 11:26 PM
| #17 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: earth, everywhere and nowhere
Posts: 9,713
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lifetimelearner, you are very welcome | |
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