Sexual energy vs. Anxiety/Lack of focus

[dominick]

I'm a male in my early 30s and I've realized a very high correlation between sexual energy and anxiety. Here's an example. Let's say I'm out around a lot of attractive women. I typically feel my energy levels going to up and often those levels will stay up, sometimes even for days. This is great for motivation, thinking big, etc.

However, there's a downside to this in that when my sexual energy is high I also have more anxiety and have more difficulty focusing. This makes sense biologically I guess. When I'm around attractive members of the opposite sex my body wants to procreate. To relieve the anxiety, I can...well, I won't go into detail but you can guess.

Anyway, I've also found that I can re-create this level of sexual energy pretty much anytime I want by simply looking at pictures of beautiful women. A simple flip through a Victoria's Secret catalogue for instance. This is great for my motivation. Not so much for my anxiety or ability to focus.

I'm curious as to whether other high achievers have experimented with various states like this. It seems like for certain things (e.g., physical tasks, setting goals perhaps) you'd want the level of sexual energy to be high. However, for other things (e.g., concentrating on a tough problem) you'd want it to be low so you can focus.

My ideal would be a state where I feel high sexual energy/motivation and but low anxiety/distraction. I haven't been able to get there on a consistent basis yet. Any suggestions?

[Donkey1]

Try mixing in some physical activity, if possible. Weight lifting, cardio, etc, clears your head and you could even think about your "ladies" while doing it if you want. You'll be more relaxed through out the day, and still be motivated.

[KaleidoskopicVision]

Rechannel your sexual energy. The best way to do this is by stilling yourself with meditation. Sit (in full lotus if you are flexible) and maintain a relaxed, but aware state of mind. Don't slouch, don't become too relaxed, but don't become too rigid. With practice or beginners luck, you will find the balance. While meditating, if you have been using your sexual energy conservatively, you can feel the energy beginning to shoot up your spine. As long as you are free of emotional blockages, this should be quite a wondrous experience.

[dominick]

Thanks guys. This is great advice. I do try to mix in exercise when I can and also meditation. It definitely helps. I think part of it is that I have a lot of tension in my body and that it seems like part of that is due to having a high sex drive. I'd love to be able to maintain that high sex drive (in general I think it is good for me) while reducing the tension I feel. So far the things that seem to help with the tension are the two things you mention plus massage (non-sexual). Any other suggestions? May open another thread on this as it might be more appropriate in a different category.

[rei]

i am not a guy, but maybe you can look at seeing the pent-up sexual energy in a different way. sexual tension doesn't have to feel like anxiety, i don't think. for me, there is a difference between sexual tension (which affects my focus too) and plain old being tense.

this is one of the underlying aspects of tantra, learning how it feels to have that much energy waiting inside of you. and as it's a buddhist practice, part of it is also learning to just be with that feeling without seeing it as a bad thing.

when i need to concentrate more, and i feel like the built-up energy is in the way, i engage in more sexual activity. sometimes i appreciate that the energy connects me more with a physical level active energy, so i even allow it to stay there. this is similar to how i sometimes welcome somewhat 'angry' passion because it is a good motivator.

so maybe it would help to view it as a different type of tension from that of anxiety, and to decide to find release if it gets in the way of focusing or to relate to it in a different way, without so much resistance.

[joyfulgrowth]

I'm female, and in my own experience anxiety and sexual energy is not at all related, or if at all, the other way round. I can't even imagine how it would feel to feel hot and anxious at the same time.

[munish]

you may read Steve Pavlina's old posts, where he has suggested to study David de angelo.

Originally Posted by dominick

I'm a male in my early 30s and I've realized a very high correlation between sexual energy and anxiety. Here's an example. Let's say I'm out around a lot of attractive women. I typically feel my energy levels going to up and often those levels will stay up, sometimes even for days. This is great for motivation, thinking big, etc.

However, there's a downside to this in that when my sexual energy is high I also have more anxiety and have more difficulty focusing. This makes sense biologically I guess. When I'm around attractive members of the opposite sex my body wants to procreate. To relieve the anxiety, I can...well, I won't go into detail but you can guess.

Anyway, I've also found that I can re-create this level of sexual energy pretty much anytime I want by simply looking at pictures of beautiful women. A simple flip through a Victoria's Secret catalogue for instance. This is great for my motivation. Not so much for my anxiety or ability to focus.

I'm curious as to whether other high achievers have experimented with various states like this. It seems like for certain things (e.g., physical tasks, setting goals perhaps) you'd want the level of sexual energy to be high. However, for other things (e.g., concentrating on a tough problem) you'd want it to be low so you can focus.

My ideal would be a state where I feel high sexual energy/motivation and but low anxiety/distraction. I haven't been able to get there on a consistent basis yet. Any suggestions?

[dominick]

Thanks to each of you.

munish, can you point me in any specific direction? Steve has posted a lot. I have listened to some of David D's stuff and while I'm not so much interested in what he has to say on pick-up, I would be interested in anything related to sexual energy. Guy is wicked smart.

rei, tantra is also interesting. I've played with some of that in the past but it always seems so subtle. I feel like my energy is the type I need to hit over the head when it gets revving. Exercise does that for me but breathing exercises or energy work stuff historically hasn't.

[Mynder]

Perhaps meditation in motion, using taijijuan (tai chi) or qi gong is different. If it is taught right, you should learn a lot about channeling energy, and it's more "hands on" so maybe suits your personality better.

Have yet to find a teacher close to where I love myself.