|Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT|
| ||Thread Tools||Display Modes|
|01-03-2010, 08:56 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2009
My new five day self.
Dear fellow Pavlina Forum Members,
I am conducting an intensive 5 day happiness experiment and want to share it with you all. My reasons for this experiment are because I find that whenever I try to make a small positive changes over the long run, it often results in either feelings of failure or more pain then it was worth to change. This is because I am constantly being sabotaged by either drama, internal conflict, and my own irrational beliefs.
This time however, instead of tediously having to struggle within my own preexisting notions to accomplish a goal I have decided to completely ignore my beliefs, feelings, and opinions as best as I can and attempt a new way of living. Basically I am installing an entirely new "me" for a short time without expectation, penalty or commitment. I have little to lose by trying this. Five days is also something I am confident I can push myself through. So for the next five days this is what I am doing:
Not making excuses for any failures past and present whatsoever.
Not focus on my no-win scenarios.
Stop searching for meaning in everything I do.
Stop making meaning out of my past.
Stop regretting my past.
Stop listening to the negative voice in my head no matter how believable it is.
Stop procrastinating, stop being a perfectionist, and just take action.
Do something or at least start something that I have always wanted to but made excuses why I couldn't
Keep moving in a positive direction even if it seems futile at the moment.
Keep moving in a positive direction even when I feel helpless about my situation.
Keep moving in a positive direction even when I feel unsure of myself.
Do things that I have been wanting to try for a long time but was afraid to try.
Push myself to win in some area of my life no matter how small that is.
Stop feeling sorry for myself for any reason.
Stop regretting things.
Stop worrying about what I am giving up, or don't have.
Deal with problems as best I can without feeling like a victim.
Forgive people who cross or crossed me as best I can.
Learn from my mistakes instead of judging myself for making mistakes
Avoid judging other people.
Accept that some people will judge me no matter what I will do and ignore them.
Ignore false pride and accept any help that may benefit me.
Ask for help when I need it.
Think of new solutions to obstacles in my life.
Stop forcing myself to do things I don't like to do.
Contribute in a positive way to society at least once during this experiment
Not be cocky or cynical for any reason.
Be a nice person, but not a pushover
Laugh in the face of my fears.
Kick my fears in their ass.
Not wait for life to bring me what I want.
Not wait for other people to validate me.
Love without expectation.
Try new things that I am curious about.
Be as authentic about my feelings as possible.
If I make a mistake I will not beat myself up. Instead I will learn and move on right away.
But no matter what happens keep moving.
As I wrote before I have nothing to gain or lose by trying this and I can always go back to my "self" when this is over. For this experiment I will keep a daily log and would very much appreciate your feedback. Thanks so much.
|01-04-2010, 02:58 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2007
I wonder if you should include "I WILL NOT BE OVERWHELMED!" Phew! It overwhelmed me just reading it.
Which one is the most important to you? regards
|01-04-2010, 07:06 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2009
I will most likely need to concentrate on perfectionism, and procrastination.
Last edited by Perry M; 01-04-2010 at 07:09 AM.
|01-04-2010, 09:43 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2009
Day 1 and here are my findings,
I woke up this morning feeling a bit discouraged because I wasn't very clear about the purpose of this experiment and I slept past my alarm, but fortunately I had written down some of the ideas the night before that I wanted to put into practice. As a result I was able to push past the negativity and begin my day. I definitely see the benefit in keeping your goals within reach.
First Challenge was to deal with procrastination, and by that I mean tasks that I just couldn't bring myself to deal with. I had put off some legal paperwork for over a year. I had lots of fears if I could handle this alone without a lawyer, but because I don't have the money I decided to try anyway. By the afternoon I had completed some of it and before I knew it I was almost finished with fewer problems then expected. Conclusion: It's better to just take action, rather then waste time thinking about your fears.
Later that afternoon I challenged myself to take positive action on some ideas I am interested in but never did anything about. One such idea was designing eco friendly home power systems that people can actually afford. As an engineer this is one of those possibilities that answers improving society, and making a living at the same time. Woohoo! Bonus! As a positive first step I checked out a bunch of technical books. Conclusion: Even a tiny bit of initiative gives me confidence.
I think the biggest challenge for the day was catching myself thinking negatively and constantly refocusing on the positive circumstances in my life. This is harder then I thought.
|01-05-2010, 12:36 AM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2007
I look forward to day two. regards
|01-05-2010, 05:57 AM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2009
I will try to keep my posts shorter in length.
Day 2 summary:
This morning I woke up feeling very depressed. I was feeling especially lonely, and that nothing I do in life seems to matter. In spite of the fact that I had accomplished a lot yesterday, I still felt empty. I almost couldn't get out of bed. Then I remembered Steve's advice about escaping into fantasy, so I tried it for myself.
I made up a fantasy based on how I wanted to feel, and within a minute I started feeling much better, almost euphoric. It was only 15 minutes but it got out of bed in high spirit. Conclusion, maybe since I knew it's a fantasy already my mind couldn't ruin it.
Throughout my day I felt as though I were in a mental gym; constantly shifting thoughts. Often times as I shifted into a positive state of mind I would experience undertones of cynicism as though a were voice saying, "what do you have to be so happy about?" I find negative thoughts to be quite sneaky. Conclusion, I can see that I need more practice at this.
Here is my most significant discovery so far. I was surprised to notice how often I complain to myself and others about insignificant things. So I decided the next time a complaint popped up in my head I would either do something about it , disprove it, or let it go completely. After several times of doing this throughout my day, I started getting this strange feeling..I don't know how I can describe it but it was rather a sense of clarity as though tapping into something wonderful. It didn't seem fake either.
Conclusion: I am curious to see where this is going.
Last edited by Perry M; 01-05-2010 at 06:00 AM.
|01-06-2010, 10:59 PM||#9 (permalink)|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Very interesting challenge Perry M!
A long time ago, I did a challenge which was to catch myself every single time I had a bad thought about a stranger - you know when you sit on a bus or train or whatever and think stuff like 'what IS she wearing!' or 'you need to touch up the dye job mate' or whatever - it came about because I came to realise that the lower one's own self-esteem, the more inclined one is to criticize others. People who are happy and contented with themselves seem a lot more forgiving and far less critical of others.
I was horrified at the literally hundreds of 'bad thoughts' that came in to my head without me really realising it! By identifying and turning these thoughts round, I did actually feel a lot better about myself.
All times are GMT. The time now is 04:42 AM.