Relationships...ugh

[orion37]

I have been very hurt by someone close to me, but I am trying not to feel like I am a victim. It doesn't stop me from feeling hurt, though. I have a healthy attitude, great supportive friends and family, but I feel like I can't live up to my responsibilities at work. Ever since this bombshell has dropped on me, I've been consumed by it. I know this will get better in time. It just sucks right now.

[AdamA]

Sorry to hear that Orion. I know how that feels. Get well soon.

[Captain Drywall]

i wish there were a way to tell the ages of people posting. I must say many of you seem very young.

[mjump7]

When you feel hurt, do feel hurt. Don't try to resist it.

When you've had enough, I recommend getting back to doing things that you normally do like eating, reading, having conversations, exercising and watching TV.

You'll shift your focus to new things that will soon keep you focused.

Remember life is filled with things that you haven't yet experienced.

My advice is "good or bad, let 'em come," work your way through it, find joy and sadness, take it as it is.

[Gene]

Originally Posted by Captain Drywall

i wish there were a way to tell the ages of people posting. I must say many of you seem very young.

I am a young sixty three. How old are you?

[ar81]

Originally Posted by orion37

I have been very hurt by someone close to me, but I am trying not to feel like I am a victim. It doesn't stop me from feeling hurt, though. I have a healthy attitude, great supportive friends and family, but I feel like I can't live up to my responsibilities at work. Ever since this bombshell has dropped on me, I've been consumed by it. I know this will get better in time. It just sucks right now.

When we have a loss, the natural thing is to mourn.
Do not deny your feelings, you need to pass through it in order to heal and let it go.
There is no need to be positive at this stage to deny your feelings.
There will be a time when you feel bored of being sad. It will be a deep boredom that fills the walls of your room and you desire to escape plain boredom (not overwhelming feelings) and that's a sign that emotions are depleted, so that will be a time to be happy. When you are bored of being sad, being happy will be the only alternative.

Notice that if someone else made a bad decision that hurt you, it is not your fault. People often do not realize when they make mistakes and hurt people, but life will teach that person, but that's not your problem.

Be aware that relationships are always a bet. It may be fine, or it may go wrong. So when we start something we need to accept whatever outcome. There is always a trade off, relationships have advantages and disadvantages.

I may recommend you to be happy with your own life before starting a relationship. It may help you to be happy during the next relationship.

Oh, and let some time pass until you forget this person. One year should be enough. Do not try to get involved during that period.

[billionairekid]

Anytime I hear about someone having trouble with the perceptions of others causing them pain, I'm very quick to recommend the book "Loving What Is" and the process in it called "the work." Through personal use and through seeing this process used in the lives of others, I think its one of the best ways to take back your own power from others. It helps you deal with the thoughts about the situation and person which leads to emotional freedom.