Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

ar81 · 11-03-2009, 02:18 PM

Today it sucks.
I can't work at work because of system problems.
My boss is not around, so I can't ask for help.
I am stuck.

I have been given bad news about a personal project yesterday.
I couldn't sleep so I am in a very impatient state.
For some reason, being asleep makes problems bigger, and tolerance to frustration drops.

I am currently being a rebel.
If I hurry things will not be better, so I am stopping.
But it does not help too much in the long term.

How do you handle a bad day?

aggie · 11-03-2009, 02:32 PM

i can relate....yesterday and today, bad days...swamped at work, after bein laid off x2 in 4 mos...hubby got a job that is kinda sucky but it pays something anyway, worked hard to get my aging mom out of a horrible alf to a nursing home and after one day she hates it!

vodka and tonic with a wine chaser garcon

seriously...will take it hour by hour, realize i am still standing, still have the ability to deal day by day. realize the good of the above bad....i have a good job, my husband has something temporary till his professor job opens up in janurary, and my mom is safer and better off and has benefits where she is.

i will never give up!

Tanja · 11-03-2009, 02:33 PM

I keep telling myself this too shall pass, it's only temporary.
I take whatever feeling I'm experiencing at that moment (nervousness, impatience, anger) and imagine it as a small sphere in my body, I just acknowledge that it's there and let it be there, without consuming me.
Then I focus on something else.

Works most of the time

When it doesn't, I forgive myself, I'm only human

Talkofthatown919 · 11-04-2009, 03:23 AM

The way that i handle a bad day is by not worrying. Believing that i have full control over my day. From the beginning to end. Also that if i'm having a so called bad day that my thoughts are creating this.

Daffy Duck · 11-04-2009, 05:15 AM

At times when things are a little off or I'm not feeling my best, I just need to spend some time alone in thoughts and prayer. This basically "recharges" my batteries and enables me to easily handle any surprises 99% of the time.

brendannz · 11-04-2009, 07:33 AM

Realising that it's only 1 day out of 30,000 (if you live til your early 80s) days may be useful.. the temporary ness of it..

PerDev · 11-04-2009, 08:17 AM

"this too shall pass" statement can be important ..
One more thing that can be useful is by asking

what difference does it make 2 years from now
what difference does it make 10 years from now
what difference does it make 50 years from now

You might realize the things on which you are worried, frustrated are very trivial.

So you can look from different perspective or simply accept is and observer it from third perspective. -

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tanja

I keep telling myself this too shall pass, it's only temporary.
I take whatever feeling I'm experiencing at that moment (nervousness, impatience, anger) and imagine it as a small sphere in my body, I just acknowledge that it's there and let it be there, without consuming me.
Then I focus on something else.

Works most of the time

When it doesn't, I forgive myself, I'm only human

Donkey1 · 11-04-2009, 08:46 AM

Sometimes I reflect and ask myself, was this my fault I'm having a bad day, or just bad luck?

Usually it's bad luck, otherwise I learn from my mistakes and move on.

CoolBee · 11-04-2009, 12:37 PM

Grr I don't know.
I wish I did. This is the second time this week Yahoo Customer DisService have made me very angry.
Does anyone else have serious problems reading those CAPTCHA things and listening to the incomprehensible audio 'assistance'?
I have submitted the same form 8 times today and every single time it says stupid things like you haven't filled in all the fields (I have), the CAPTCHA doesn't match (it does as far as my eyesight can see). GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

blossom · 11-04-2009, 01:07 PM

All I can say is Full moon, menstruating, woke up late for work...AGAIN! Got a $100 tram fine first thing in the morning...the ONLY time inspectors have ever come onto my regular tram to work mind you, and the only day I haven't had coins to pay for a ticket

Grrrrr.

Funnily enough, I seemed to take the ticket in my stride...maybe becaus eI was half asleep it seemed like some unpleasant dream and I was detached from it...I forgot about it straight away and went about my day. Even now I think about it...it's not the end of the world, not by a long shot.

blossom · 11-04-2009, 01:11 PM

All I can say is Full moon, menstruating, woke up late for work...AGAIN! Got a $100 tram fine first thing in the morning...the ONLY time inspectors have ever come onto my regular tram to work mind you, and the only day I haven't had coins to pay for a ticket

Grrrrr.

Funny thing is, that I took it in my stride when I got the ticket, maybe because I was half asleep, and it all seemed like some unpleasant dream that I was detached from...so I went about my day, and even now it doesn't seem so bad...it's not the end of the world, it's just money! Am I nuts;

aggie · 11-04-2009, 01:27 PM

very cliche, i know...but it is the whole thing about complaining because you have to walk somewhere and there are people with no feet.....it does put things in perspective...

Patriciatta · 11-04-2009, 08:07 PM

I like what PerDev wrote.

Similarly, I try to take time and look at nature - and tell it my problem. And listen for feedback (sounds corny as I'm writing this).

What would the trees say?
What would the ocean say?

Don't know where you live but right now where I live nature is breathtakingly beautiful.

ar81 · 11-04-2009, 08:47 PM

Today I had another bad day. I screwed double, after screwing it a few days ago. I made a mistake that damaged my reputation again, before someone I wanted to serve in business matters. It is as if I had set all the traps for myself...

Gene · 11-04-2009, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ar81

Today I had another bad day. I screwed double, after screwing it a few days ago. I made a mistake that damaged my reputation again, before someone I wanted to serve in business matters. It is as if I had set all the traps for myself...

Remember nothing lasts forever and to ask yourself what you can learn from the experiences of the day.

Anagogy · 11-05-2009, 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ar81

How do you handle a bad day?

Scotch.

PerDev · 11-05-2009, 08:33 AM

Nature is alway beautiful. Its just that out eyes are not seeing it often

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patriciatta

I like what PerDev wrote.

Similarly, I try to take time and look at nature - and tell it my problem. And listen for feedback (sounds corny as I'm writing this).

What would the trees say?
What would the ocean say?

Don't know where you live but right now where I live nature is breathtakingly beautiful.

PerDev · 11-05-2009, 08:35 AM

You have to pay the price now.. You have to

Do one thing, do some tithing

You have to pay the price.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ar81

Today I had another bad day. I screwed double, after screwing it a few days ago. I made a mistake that damaged my reputation again, before someone I wanted to serve in business matters. It is as if I had set all the traps for myself...

CoolBee · 11-05-2009, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PerDev

You have to pay the price now.. You have to

Do one thing, do some tithing

You have to pay the price.

I'm interested that you mention 'tithing'. I'll start a separate thread about it in Spirituality forum.

AdamA · 11-05-2009, 10:20 AM

Quote:

How do you handle a bad day?

It depends....

1. First I try to focus on my goals and think - well this went wrong, but what can I do to further this goal, that goal (I have 2-3 goals I'm currently working on).
2. Second, if my motivation has just been sapped, sometimes I'll just relax and take it easy.
3. Listening to music helps me relax.
4. Going for a run / exercise helps me with a stressful day.
5. Meditation

Gene · 11-05-2009, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AdamA

It depends....

1. First I try to focus on my goals and think - well this went wrong, but what can I do to further this goal, that goal (I have 2-3 goals I'm currently working on).
2. Second, if my motivation has just been sapped, sometimes I'll just relax and take it easy.
3. Listening to music helps me relax.
4. Going for a run / exercise helps me with a stressful day.
5. Meditation

That is a nice list Adam. I also listen to selected self help audio both when I an feeling down and sometimes when I am not in a bad place. My experience is that the audios help remind myself that I create my own life and am able to make good decisions about doing the next right thing.

Mogget · 11-06-2009, 09:53 PM

I use loads f state control - physiology of excellence to get that part of the loop going, and keep my thought as positive as I can - even use the Negative Though Fast Process...

I take it one bit at a time. Get through the next thing. Then the next. Bit by bit the day passes.

We just lost our father 2 days ago completely unexpectedly. These have en BAD days.

Gene · 11-06-2009, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mogget

I use loads f state control - physiology of excellence to get that part of the loop going, and keep my thought as positive as I can - even use the Negative Though Fast Process...

I take it one bit at a time. Get through the next thing. Then the next. Bit by bit the day passes.

We just lost our father 2 days ago completely unexpectedly. These have en BAD days.

You and your family will be in my thoughts.

Tanja · 11-06-2009, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mogget

We just lost our father 2 days ago completely unexpectedly. These have en BAD days.

I'm sorry for your loss.

BVanGuard · 11-09-2009, 11:02 PM

Watch a funny movie, or play the piano or something fun like that.

Knk · 11-09-2009, 11:08 PM

I get drunk

jayanuaria · 11-09-2009, 11:11 PM

In those situations, music plays a very important role to me..

Knk · 11-09-2009, 11:43 PM

I would second what Jay said, although I would add that alchohol+music is more effective at eliciting a positive feeling and just improving a bad day in general.

AdamA · 11-10-2009, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gene

That is a nice list Adam. I also listen to selected self help audio both when I an feeling down and sometimes when I am not in a bad place. My experience is that the audios help remind myself that I create my own life and am able to make good decisions about doing the next right thing.

Thank you Gene, great suggestion about the motivational audio.

Quote:

I get drunk

. That made me laugh.

11-03-2009, 02:18 PM	#1 (permalink)
ar81 Family Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 2,756	How do you handle a bad day? Today it sucks. I can't work at work because of system problems. My boss is not around, so I can't ask for help. I am stuck. I have been given bad news about a personal project yesterday. I couldn't sleep so I am in a very impatient state. For some reason, being asleep makes problems bigger, and tolerance to frustration drops. I am currently being a rebel. If I hurry things will not be better, so I am stopping. But it does not help too much in the long term. How do you handle a bad day? Last edited by ar81; 11-03-2009 at 02:26 PM.

11-04-2009, 01:07 PM	#10 (permalink)
blossom Banned Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3,897	All I can say is Full moon, menstruating, woke up late for work...AGAIN! Got a $100 tram fine first thing in the morning...the ONLY time inspectors have ever come onto my regular tram to work mind you, and the only day I haven't had coins to pay for a ticketGrrrrr. Funnily enough, I seemed to take the ticket in my stride...maybe becaus eI was half asleep it seemed like some unpleasant dream and I was detached from it...I forgot about it straight away and went about my day. Even now I think about it...it's not the end of the world, not by a long shot. Last edited by blossom; 11-04-2009 at 01:09 PM.

11-04-2009, 01:11 PM	#11 (permalink)
blossom Banned Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3,897	All I can say is Full moon, menstruating, woke up late for work...AGAIN! Got a $100 tram fine first thing in the morning...the ONLY time inspectors have ever come onto my regular tram to work mind you, and the only day I haven't had coins to pay for a ticketGrrrrr. Funny thing is, that I took it in my stride when I got the ticket, maybe because I was half asleep, and it all seemed like some unpleasant dream that I was detached from...so I went about my day, and even now it doesn't seem so bad...it's not the end of the world, it's just money! Am I nuts;

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11-03-2009, 02:32 PM	#2 (permalink)
aggie Family Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 2,235	i can relate....yesterday and today, bad days...swamped at work, after bein laid off x2 in 4 mos...hubby got a job that is kinda sucky but it pays something anyway, worked hard to get my aging mom out of a horrible alf to a nursing home and after one day she hates it! vodka and tonic with a wine chaser garcon seriously...will take it hour by hour, realize i am still standing, still have the ability to deal day by day. realize the good of the above bad....i have a good job, my husband has something temporary till his professor job opens up in janurary, and my mom is safer and better off and has benefits where she is. i will never give up!

11-03-2009, 02:33 PM	#3 (permalink)
Tanja Retired Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 6,068	I keep telling myself this too shall pass, it's only temporary. I take whatever feeling I'm experiencing at that moment (nervousness, impatience, anger) and imagine it as a small sphere in my body, I just acknowledge that it's there and let it be there, without consuming me. Then I focus on something else. Works most of the time When it doesn't, I forgive myself, I'm only human

11-04-2009, 03:23 AM	#4 (permalink)
Talkofthatown919 Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 261	The way that i handle a bad day is by not worrying. Believing that i have full control over my day. From the beginning to end. Also that if i'm having a so called bad day that my thoughts are creating this.

11-04-2009, 05:15 AM	#5 (permalink)
Daffy Duck Banned Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 3,001	At times when things are a little off or I'm not feeling my best, I just need to spend some time alone in thoughts and prayer. This basically "recharges" my batteries and enables me to easily handle any surprises 99% of the time.

11-04-2009, 07:33 AM	#6 (permalink)
brendannz Family Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 3,612	Realising that it's only 1 day out of 30,000 (if you live til your early 80s) days may be useful.. the temporary ness of it..

11-04-2009, 08:46 AM	#8 (permalink)
Donkey1 Banned Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 347	Sometimes I reflect and ask myself, was this my fault I'm having a bad day, or just bad luck? Usually it's bad luck, otherwise I learn from my mistakes and move on.

11-04-2009, 12:37 PM	#9 (permalink)
CoolBee Family Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 2,044	Grr I don't know. I wish I did. This is the second time this week Yahoo Customer DisService have made me very angry. Does anyone else have serious problems reading those CAPTCHA things and listening to the incomprehensible audio 'assistance'? I have submitted the same form 8 times today and every single time it says stupid things like you haven't filled in all the fields (I have), the CAPTCHA doesn't match (it does as far as my eyesight can see). GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

11-04-2009, 01:27 PM	#12 (permalink)
aggie Family Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 2,235	very cliche, i know...but it is the whole thing about complaining because you have to walk somewhere and there are people with no feet.....it does put things in perspective...

11-04-2009, 08:07 PM	#13 (permalink)
Patriciatta Junior Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 26	I like what PerDev wrote. Similarly, I try to take time and look at nature - and tell it my problem. And listen for feedback (sounds corny as I'm writing this). What would the trees say? What would the ocean say? Don't know where you live but right now where I live nature is breathtakingly beautiful.

11-04-2009, 08:47 PM	#14 (permalink)
ar81 Family Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 2,756	Today I had another bad day. I screwed double, after screwing it a few days ago. I made a mistake that damaged my reputation again, before someone I wanted to serve in business matters. It is as if I had set all the traps for myself...

11-06-2009, 09:53 PM	#22 (permalink)
Mogget Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Melbourne Australia Posts: 184	I use loads f state control - physiology of excellence to get that part of the loop going, and keep my thought as positive as I can - even use the Negative Though Fast Process... I take it one bit at a time. Get through the next thing. Then the next. Bit by bit the day passes. We just lost our father 2 days ago completely unexpectedly. These have en BAD days.

11-09-2009, 11:02 PM	#25 (permalink)
BVanGuard Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 7	Watch a funny movie, or play the piano or something fun like that.

11-09-2009, 11:08 PM	#26 (permalink)
Knk Banned Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 174	I get drunk

11-09-2009, 11:11 PM	#27 (permalink)
jayanuaria Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Philippines Posts: 13	In those situations, music plays a very important role to me..

11-09-2009, 11:43 PM	#28 (permalink)
Knk Banned Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 174	I would second what Jay said, although I would add that alchohol+music is more effective at eliciting a positive feeling and just improving a bad day in general.

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